Dress Blues (Chapter 6/?)
Title: Dress Blues (Chapter 6/?)
Author: keeconk
Pairing: TaDaiki
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 4,403
Disclaimer: Arisa is mine~.
Summary: A life of a model is often seen as extravagant and glamour. But not many people know that a life of a model can be this epic and bizarre. What would happen if Arisa, an eighteen-years old fashion and make-up model, meet Takaki Yuya, the popular singer? The thing is, Arisa is just a stage name of a normal boy, named Arioka Daiki, who dresses up as a girl during photo shoots.
A.N.: AU setting. Cross dressing. Unbeta'ed.
( Chapter 1: An Epic start )
( Chapter 2: The Holiday )
( Chapter 3: Oops! )
( Chapter 4: Unguarded )
( Chapter 5: Nature of Facts )
------------------------
He was a quiet guy. When he was alone, he was just a very quiet guy and would be indulged in his guitar or lyrics. Music had always been something that helped him to relax, helped him to forget certain memories from his head. People had their past and Takaki wasn’t an exception. It was a long time ago after all, and he had no intention to go back to those phases.
Lately his source of happiness had evolved to another area of his life. It had always been about his studio and clothes designs, but now it was more than that. Crazy maybe, but he had to admit that since he got to meet Arisa, or Daiki to be exact, he felt slightly more motivated than before. Most of his songs were then more positive and less about emo, sad love stories.
At times, he wanted to tell Daiki more about himself. More about his background, and more on who he really was, but it wasn’t that easy. To even think of it was already dreadful enough for him, let alone sharing it with someone else. He hadn’t been thinking about that past of his at all until he met Daiki…. until he realised where he had seen Inoo before.
He was aware that Inoo knew about what happened to him. He knew that the fair-skin guy knew exactly that little story of him and a certain teacher at their school. If Inoo told Daiki, or worse the press, his career might be at stake and Daiki might not see him the same way again.
“So basically that’s what you need to do for tomorrow,” Yabu closed his notebook as he stared straight sharply at Takaki. “Were you even listening?”
Pressing his cheek against the hard surface of the meeting table, Takaki just sighed. Of course he was listening. He just wasn’t interested in knowing what he had to do the next day, but knowing Yabu, the older guy would still drag him to the meeting room and proceed with whatever he had to do without even care what Takaki’s reaction would be.
“Yes, I was,” he replied at the end.
“Good. Now pack your stuff, I’ll send you home,” Yabu grinned.
Lazily, Takaki dragged his ass away from the chair he was sitting on, grabbing his bag as he followed Yabu that was walking out of the room. “Can you just drop me at the soccer field up north?” he asked the older guy.
“Soccer field? Why?”
“Daiki has soccer match with his friends from highschool.”
“So?”
“I just want to watch,” Takaki replied, half yawning.
“It would be better if you take some rest Takaki. You’ve been working non-stop lately. You can meet him in two days time when you’re free,” Yabu crossed his arms against his chest as he frowned at the brunette.
“Well, observing him is considered as resting for me,” he pouted. “Have you even seen him playing soccer?!?! He’s sooooo hot! Nothing like Arisa,” he added.
“Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. I don’t want to know the details of your kink on him, just make sure that you get some rest after that. How are you going to go home from there then?”
“I’ll think about it later. Just drive me there. Pleaseeee!” he pleaded, stepping slightly closer to Yabu and put on the most convincing begging puppy eyes he could pull off.
Takaki knew that Yabu wouldn’t buy that puppy eyes of his, but he knew that Yabu knew it meant a lot to him, making him confidence that the other guy would drive him there anyway. “Fine. Just… don’t get too touchy in public. We wouldn’t want some weird scandal on the newspaper first thing in the morning,” Yabu sighed.
Literally jumping to Yabu, Takaki hugged the skinny manager as he grinned widely. Yabu wasn’t just a manager to him, he was a friend. A good friend of his. Maybe Yabu was only his manager for the last one year, but he had to admit that since the other guy replaced his previous manager, he could feel a major difference in his life. He had learned to appreciate more… about life.
It wasn’t a long drive, but for him it felt like it was. Mostly because meeting the younger guy had become something rather rare lately. How long had it been since they were faking their relationship in front of the press? Almost half a year now. Daiki had done with highschool, and decided to attend university while working in the same time, just like Inoo. The younger guy had less time for him now, but they were managing. It was a relationship after all, you needed to work on it to make it last.
Once he got there, Takaki gave Daiki, who was busy running around on the field and was all sweaty, a wave. It made him slightly happy just to see him. Settling himself down on one of the benches by the side of the field, Takaki didn't fail to notice something new from his boyfriend. His hair.
“You dyed your hair?” he asked when Daiki approached him, passing him a water bottle that was so obviously his (come on, who else would have a penguin water bottle but Daiki?). With the soccer field as the background, it felt as if Takaki was a girl that came to see his beloved boyfriend kicking ball around the green surface. Well, at least Daiki was indeed his boyfriend.
“Hm?” Daiki gulped to his drink and sat besides Takaki. “This? Yeah. I thought I shall have something different for once,” he replied. “So why are you here?”
“To see you. What else could it be?”
“I see.”
A very awkward and distanced conversation like this was something normal to him. Each time he was meeting Daiki who was being himself, no make-up, no skirt, no heels, and no Arisa, the two of them had always had a very subtle conversation, almost nothing important. But the moment they got somewhere private, then all the little “fighting”, bashing, kicking, hugging, kissing, and many other normal stuff that normal couple had would start to come out from its shelf. They were so used to be hiding… oh hell yeah, they were.
When Daiki was being Arisa, things would be slightly different. Takaki would hold her hand, and Daiki wouldn’t really think twice to lean or hug Takaki. It felt like they were living a lie in front of everyone, but it was the only way that they could keep this going.
“Are you free?” asked Daiki.
“Well, are you?”
“Not really… but I can always ditch soccer.”
“Ditching soccer? That’s something new. You ditched me, emo-ing in my room when Japan lost the world cup and refused to see the TV for at least three days,” Takaki laughed.
“Oh shut up. I’ll be ditching you just fine during the world cup’s final,” a small punch landed on Takaki’s shoulder, but it wasn’t anything strong like Daiki would have done if they were alone in private.
Leaning back to the bench, Takaki put his hands on his jeans’ pocket and looked at Daiki from the corner of his eyes, observing how manly the other guy actually looked like with his soccer gear, away from all those girly outfit he wore for work. “I’m free. That’s why I’m here. What do you have in mind?”
Daiki turned his head away from Takaki, trying to look somewhere else to make sure that there wasn’t anyone around that could hear their conversation. Shifting slightly closer to Takaki as he took a sip from his water bottle, Daiki tried to avoid any unnecessary eye contact with the brunette. “Shower.”
“What?”
“I said shower,” Daiki rolled his eyes at him. “I’m all sweaty and sticky… of course all I have in mind at the moment is shower.”
Smirking, Takaki leaned forward to Daiki and showed the younger guy a very mischievous look. “Shower, huh? Kinky~…”
His single lidded eyes observed Daiki as the latter froze in his seat, totally understood the little tease that Takaki was giving him. “No,” Daiki replied him at the end.
“Why not?”
“Because when I said shower, I literally meant it as showering. Nothing else,” Daiki frowned.
“Oh come on~,” Takaki chuckled as he watched the younger guy standing up and starting to pack all his stuff. “Not that we haven’t done it there.”
“No Takaki. Just no. Not in the mood,” he turned around, making his way out of the soccer field.
“Pleaseeeeee?” he stood up as he followed Daiki. “I have Pocky~.”
Stopping on the spot, the shorter one among the two turned around slowly, clearly trying to look like he had control of his composure. While on the other hand, all that Takaki did was smiling slyly as he reached out for boxes of Pocky from his bag. Yes, boxes. Three of them. “Just pick a flavour, and it’s yours.”
“I’ll think about,” Daiki replied in a cool tone, but his eyes were definitely set on those three boxes on Takaki’s hand.
“You can have all of them,” he tried again.
“Damn it, Takaki,” Daiki groaned, stepping closer to the taller guy, and the next moment those three boxes that were on Takaki’s hand were then already on Daiki’s possession. “You got yourself a deal, damn dickhead,” he pouted slightly.
It was pretty obvious to Takaki why he liked Daiki so much. And liked might even be an understatement.
------
This would be one of his favourite moments. People might call him mushy, but he wouldn’t really care. Since Daiki graduated, the other guy spent more time in Takaki’s place than his own house. That would be the only way they could keep in touch, because if not, all they could do was talking on the phone at night; and sometimes, just talking on the phone wasn’t enough.
Seeing the smaller figure curling to him on his very own bed in the morning was just breath taking. He ran his fingers through the brown hair with a smile on his face. The sunlight was shining through the transparent curtain of that big window of his room, adding more calmness to the doll-like face before him.
Sometimes he wondered, would it be okay to tell him more about himself. Would Daiki be able to take the fact that he was mostly just a shut in, no real friend or what so ever. It was his choice to do everything by himself, to live the life he was living only with those that he trusted. For him, that was the only way to protect himself from experiencing it again.
“If only you have any idea…” he mumbled.
Much to his surprise, the soft mumble of his made the younger guy shifted in his sleep. The rounded eyes were then slowly opened and stared right back to Takaki sleepily, followed by a lazy smile from him. “Morning…” Daiki greeted him. “… and you were saying?”
“Ehm? Nothing~. I didn’t anything,” he lied.
“Really? I thought I heard something,” Daiki snuggled to Takaki as he wrapped his arms around the taller one.
Takaki did nothing but smiled. People might mistakenly think that Daiki would make a pretty stubborn boyfriend (which he was sometimes) and the one that wouldn’t stop nagging him. As the matter of fact, Daiki was more towards…. someone that would be around all the time but in the same time managed to give Takaki some personal space.
When Takaki was busy with his guitar and music sheet, Daiki would just sit on the couch, reading mangas quietly. On tiring days where Takaki felt like he was about to collapse with the lack of sleep, the younger boy would just play that X-box which Takaki rarely played himself and let him sleep on the couch with his head on Daiki’s lap.
It was hard, really, to be able to control himself. He wasn’t all about the ‘cool’ or quiet yet a baka Takaki Yuya that everyone knew him as. There was part of him that he had tried to bury deeply within himself so that no one would know about it. It was enough that people from his past knew, and he didn’t want those that he just met to give him the very same look that everyone else had being giving him since then. He didn’t want to see those looks. He despised them. He hated it when they looked at him as if he was the most unfortunate thing ever existed in the whole universe.
“Why are you awake?” asked Daiki, half muttering, with eyes still closed.
“Why can’t I?”
“I don’t know. It’s your free day, so maybe you should sleep more. I have class later and look at me, still lazing around in your bed,” the boy looked up to him, clearly showed Takaki that he wished it was still at night so that he could continue sleeping.
“I’ll go back to sleep once you left for class.”
“Why have to wait till then?”
“So I can just stare at you as for now?” he replied Daiki, grinning.
“I don’t understand your logic,” Daiki rolled his eyes.
“You don’t have to.”
And that was enough to make Daiki give up on asking more questions to Takaki. Daiki was a smart boy, but Takaki knew that if someone managed to counter back his question or argument, Daiki would choose to just give up and drop the topic. He might not be able to tell this boyfriend of his everything about him just yet, but at least he always tried to notice everything about Daiki, every single habit that his had.
For him, that was enough as for then.
------
If he said it didn’t bother him, then he would be lying. At times, it really bothered him when the one that was with him was Arisa and not Daiki. He was almost convinced that Arisa and Daiki were two different people because they were just too different sometimes. They had the same problem with their temper and such, but sometimes Takaki couldn’t feel Daiki’s presence at all when he was dressed as Arisa.
Tapping his pencil to his studio desk, his eyes casted over the feminine figure not far from him. Her hair was brown and long, and was tousled towards the end. The oversized powder brown cardigan was complimented by the big red belt on her waist, showing everyone her lack of curves and yet still feminine in the same time. That was his girlfriend standing on his studio, playing around with the staff. That was his boyfriend dressing as someone he was not.
“Arisa…” he called out her name softly.
Yet the latter didn’t seem to hear the call. She continued chatting and giggling with the females staff, talking about hair, nails, shoes, and random idols. Every single gesture from her was so feminine, so lady-like, that it almost scared Takaki out. That wasn't the person that he had a crush on. That wasn’t the person that he was falling in love with. And sometimes it irked him so much that Daiki just had to dress and act as someone that he was not in public.
“ARISA!!” he yelled at the end, sounding rather annoyed, probably a little bit too loud and fierce than he intended it to be.
Arisa turned around, eyes blinking in confusion. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her look was questioning the yell that Takaki just did. Ah, Takaki sighed. That look… was so much like Daiki’s, but it still felt different. “Yes, Yuya?” she asked, calling him with his given name. He hated it. Arisa always called him with that, but not even once Daiki called him with that. Not even once.
“Come here for a second,” he said at the end.
“Hold on. We’re talking about that new Jimmy Choo shoes. I’ll be right there in a minute,” she replied.
“No, Arisa. Now,” he groaned, rolling his eyes. Daiki wouldn’t reply him with this. Daiki wouldn’t even fucking care about Jimmy Choo’s shoes.
“Just a minute, Yuya. I won’t take long,” Arisa turned her head back to her chit chat buddies.
Takaki stood up, literally throwing his pencil to the desk, before then walked to where the fashion model was. He grabbed Arisa on the wrist and dragged her out from the studio. He didn’t like this. He had tried his best to ignore this uneasiness each time he was with Arisa, but maybe this time it was too much. All he wanted was his boyfriend.
“What the…” Arisa glared at him when they reached the hallway, trying to yank her wrist away from Takaki.
“Why didn’t you listen to me?! I just wanted you to come when I called you! What is so hard about that?!” he glared.
“Ha? I did tell you that I’ll be there in a minute. What the hell is wrong with you!?” she pulled her hand away, trying to free her wrist but yet failing. “Let me go, Yuya.”
“Don’t call me with that. And stop acting like you’re a real girl,” he groaned in frustration.
Pulling Arisa closer to him, he made sure that his glare bore to the other’s eyes, just to show her on how much it started to bother him. Her overall behaviour. Everything about her. “I want Daiki… I don’t want you.”
Arisa blinked, seemed to be shocked by what she just heard. “What are you talking about? I am Daiki. I’m just dressed as Arisa. Did you bang your head or something?”
“No, I didn’t. It’s just that…” Takaki gripped even tighter on the other’s wrist, biting his lip as he stared at her in a frustrated yet angry expression.
“Takaki, you’re hurting me,” Arisa… no… Daiki stared back at him, looking all confused and half angry. It took him a while, but he finally realised that no matter what, Arisa was still Daiki. That all these were just a mere act. “I’m just trying to make sure that they don’t find out about me. I mean… never mind. Just let me go.”
And Takaki did, followed by Daiki leaving him behind after he pushed Takaki away, making his way back to the studio… as Arisa. Brushing off his hair away from his forehead to his head, Takaki mentally slapped himself. He really needed to stop thinking that Arisa and Daiki are two different persons. Each time Daiki’s ‘Arisa-mode’ got switched off, while he was still dressed as Arisa, it always hit him hard in his head. That it was pretty close to being awaken from a really bad dream.
This started to drive him insane, really.
------
Daiki hadn’t contacted him since. Not even once. The last time they talked on the phone was about a week ago, and it was the next morning after Takaki’s little outburst. He did say sorry to Daiki, and Daiki did say that it wasn’t such a big deal. But yeah, that would be the last time they talked to each other.
He never knew that things would get this complicated. It wasn’t hard to fool the press, and it wasn’t even that hard to make Inoo stop being so jealous; but the problem relied on him. The part where he developed some feelings towards Arisa, or Daiki to be exact, wasn’t on his plan. It was supposed to be a decoy. It was just supposed to be a fake relationship. If only… if only Daiki wasn’t a guy. If only Arisa was just a real girl. He wouldn’t feel all miserable about his confused feeling.
Hey… why didn’t you answer my call? he typed, sending it right away. He had tried to call Daiki for the whole day, but he couldn’t get through to the latter at all. It was either he didn’t pick up his call, or his call couldn’t get through. The younger guy hadn’t replied any of his texts either, and everything about these got to his nerves greatly.
Not long after he put his phone back to his pocket, his apartment’s doorbell rang. Who could it be? It was 10pm, and wouldn’t it be an impropriate time to visit someone?! Getting up lazily from the couch, Takaki dragged his legs to the front door and opened it slightly to have a peek on his guest.
“Daiki?” he blinked, opening the door wider.
“Yo!” there was a huge grin on his face, and not to mention a huge bag on his shoulder.
“What is that for?” Takaki blinked, obviously staring at the big bag and his eyes didn’t break the contact even after Daiki stepped into the apartment.
“I have a week off. And I’m staying over.”
“You… what?”
“Staying over. For a week,” he replied.
“Ha? Wait a minute. We haven’t talked for a week, and you didn’t reply any of my texts, and suddenly you came to my house and said that you’d stay for a week?” Takaki grabbed Daiki on the hand, eyes questioning this weird situation.
Much to his surprise, instead of answering his question, Daiki put down his bag and went over to him to hug him. What was this for? “Dai-chan?” he asked softly, wasn't sure what to say.
“I’m sorry. I was busy with work, and I was still annoyed with what you did the other day. So maybe I was being childish for ignoring all your calls and texts,” he looked up with a somehow guilty expression plastered all over his face. “That’s why I decided to take a week off, and stay over here. I’ll accompany you to work or whatever. Of course I have to be Arisa and all, but at least I’ll be there. Do you mind?” he asked.
This… would be one of those moments where Takaki got so confused on what to do. One of those moments where he really wanted to be fully honest about the real him to Daiki because the latter was always honest to him; but yet in the same time, he knew he liked Daiki so much and was in fact falling in love with him that he was so afraid if he was being honest, he was going to lose everything he had with the younger guy.
“No. Of course I don’t,” Takaki answered. He pushed Daiki away from him, plastering a smile on his face just so that the other wouldn’t be able to read his mind. Not that he didn’t want him to, maybe just not yet. “Look at you. All tired and such a mess. Go and get some shower,” he added.
Being himself, Daiki furrowed his eyebrows, “Why should I? I’m too tired to even drag myself here. You should be grateful that at least I realised that I was being unreasonable and all and decided to come.”
“Just go shower. Please?”
“No.”
“Come on~.”
“Give me one good reason why I should,” he frowned.
Turning Daiki’s body around, Takaki literally pushed the younger boy towards where the bathroom was. Of course Daiki wouldn’t just stay quiet being pushed like that but apparently Takaki was stronger enough to push him there. “Please?”
“No. Tell me why first, then I’ll go,” Daiki insisted.
“I… have something to tell you. And… I need time to be prepared. So get some shower and buy me some time to get ready. Please?”
Daiki looked as if he really wanted to ask more, but this time he only sighed and decided that maybe he might just have to do it. “Okay fine. I’ll even take my time. And this shit is better be good.”
Okay, that went well, he thought. Takaki rushed off to the kitchen, grabbed some water, and mentally punched himself because now that he had said it, he would really have to tell Daiki about it. “Great Takaki. Really great. That was the stupidest thing you have ever done in your entire life!” he scolded himself. All these years, not even once he told anyone, not even Yabu, about what happened. Now out of no where, he decided to tell Daiki about it?! He wasn’t even sure if he loved him that much yet!
Sitting on one of the eat-in kitchen counter high chairs, Takaki stared at some random spot on the marbles before him. Oh god he was so doomed, he thought. How would he tell Daiki about this? Should he just lie? He realised that the sooner he got this done with, the better it would be for him… for them. If he really cared about Daiki to the extend that it irked him so much the moment the other acted as Arisa, he would have to know if he was ready to share everything about himself.
“So?” a voice broke his little daydreaming. Not far from him, Daiki was walking towards his direction. His hair was still wet and there was a towel on his shoulder, right on top of the black t-shirt he was wearing. “What do you want to tell me?”
“Well…” Takaki gulped.
He watched the smaller figure climbed up to one of the chairs that was right opposite the one Takaki was sitting on. Daiki took Takaki’s glass and drank from it, not really cared if it wasn’t his drink. Even though he had always liked it when Daiki’s hair was half wet, but it was his very last concern this time. He didn’t really care if it was half wet or if it was dry. All that matter now was to get this all done with.
It had been bothering him so much that he started to get mad over the smallest thing around him. He was perfectly aware about their relationship condition, but he was pressured to keep this as a secret the more his feelings grew stronger towards the younger boy.
He had been in relationships before, of course. Be it males or females. He was never serious when he was with the males, and it was just as a cover to hide his sexual preference when he was with the opposite sex. And this was the first time he would take the idea of having a relationship to something further, something that was on a whole new level that he had never stepped into before.
“I’ve killed someone before.”
And Daiki choked on his water.
--------------------
Feel free to kill me for taking TOO long?! DDDDDDD: But but but but but, at least I managed to update it!! Work is getting in a way, and I have so much shit to do. So I was so happy when I finally finished this chapter!! Yay!!!!!! I hope you're still interested in this fanfic. -bows-
Author: keeconk
Pairing: TaDaiki
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 4,403
Disclaimer: Arisa is mine~.
Summary: A life of a model is often seen as extravagant and glamour. But not many people know that a life of a model can be this epic and bizarre. What would happen if Arisa, an eighteen-years old fashion and make-up model, meet Takaki Yuya, the popular singer? The thing is, Arisa is just a stage name of a normal boy, named Arioka Daiki, who dresses up as a girl during photo shoots.
A.N.: AU setting. Cross dressing. Unbeta'ed.
( Chapter 1: An Epic start )
( Chapter 2: The Holiday )
( Chapter 3: Oops! )
( Chapter 4: Unguarded )
( Chapter 5: Nature of Facts )
------------------------
He was a quiet guy. When he was alone, he was just a very quiet guy and would be indulged in his guitar or lyrics. Music had always been something that helped him to relax, helped him to forget certain memories from his head. People had their past and Takaki wasn’t an exception. It was a long time ago after all, and he had no intention to go back to those phases.
Lately his source of happiness had evolved to another area of his life. It had always been about his studio and clothes designs, but now it was more than that. Crazy maybe, but he had to admit that since he got to meet Arisa, or Daiki to be exact, he felt slightly more motivated than before. Most of his songs were then more positive and less about emo, sad love stories.
At times, he wanted to tell Daiki more about himself. More about his background, and more on who he really was, but it wasn’t that easy. To even think of it was already dreadful enough for him, let alone sharing it with someone else. He hadn’t been thinking about that past of his at all until he met Daiki…. until he realised where he had seen Inoo before.
He was aware that Inoo knew about what happened to him. He knew that the fair-skin guy knew exactly that little story of him and a certain teacher at their school. If Inoo told Daiki, or worse the press, his career might be at stake and Daiki might not see him the same way again.
“So basically that’s what you need to do for tomorrow,” Yabu closed his notebook as he stared straight sharply at Takaki. “Were you even listening?”
Pressing his cheek against the hard surface of the meeting table, Takaki just sighed. Of course he was listening. He just wasn’t interested in knowing what he had to do the next day, but knowing Yabu, the older guy would still drag him to the meeting room and proceed with whatever he had to do without even care what Takaki’s reaction would be.
“Yes, I was,” he replied at the end.
“Good. Now pack your stuff, I’ll send you home,” Yabu grinned.
Lazily, Takaki dragged his ass away from the chair he was sitting on, grabbing his bag as he followed Yabu that was walking out of the room. “Can you just drop me at the soccer field up north?” he asked the older guy.
“Soccer field? Why?”
“Daiki has soccer match with his friends from highschool.”
“So?”
“I just want to watch,” Takaki replied, half yawning.
“It would be better if you take some rest Takaki. You’ve been working non-stop lately. You can meet him in two days time when you’re free,” Yabu crossed his arms against his chest as he frowned at the brunette.
“Well, observing him is considered as resting for me,” he pouted. “Have you even seen him playing soccer?!?! He’s sooooo hot! Nothing like Arisa,” he added.
“Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever. I don’t want to know the details of your kink on him, just make sure that you get some rest after that. How are you going to go home from there then?”
“I’ll think about it later. Just drive me there. Pleaseeee!” he pleaded, stepping slightly closer to Yabu and put on the most convincing begging puppy eyes he could pull off.
Takaki knew that Yabu wouldn’t buy that puppy eyes of his, but he knew that Yabu knew it meant a lot to him, making him confidence that the other guy would drive him there anyway. “Fine. Just… don’t get too touchy in public. We wouldn’t want some weird scandal on the newspaper first thing in the morning,” Yabu sighed.
Literally jumping to Yabu, Takaki hugged the skinny manager as he grinned widely. Yabu wasn’t just a manager to him, he was a friend. A good friend of his. Maybe Yabu was only his manager for the last one year, but he had to admit that since the other guy replaced his previous manager, he could feel a major difference in his life. He had learned to appreciate more… about life.
It wasn’t a long drive, but for him it felt like it was. Mostly because meeting the younger guy had become something rather rare lately. How long had it been since they were faking their relationship in front of the press? Almost half a year now. Daiki had done with highschool, and decided to attend university while working in the same time, just like Inoo. The younger guy had less time for him now, but they were managing. It was a relationship after all, you needed to work on it to make it last.
Once he got there, Takaki gave Daiki, who was busy running around on the field and was all sweaty, a wave. It made him slightly happy just to see him. Settling himself down on one of the benches by the side of the field, Takaki didn't fail to notice something new from his boyfriend. His hair.
“You dyed your hair?” he asked when Daiki approached him, passing him a water bottle that was so obviously his (come on, who else would have a penguin water bottle but Daiki?). With the soccer field as the background, it felt as if Takaki was a girl that came to see his beloved boyfriend kicking ball around the green surface. Well, at least Daiki was indeed his boyfriend.
“Hm?” Daiki gulped to his drink and sat besides Takaki. “This? Yeah. I thought I shall have something different for once,” he replied. “So why are you here?”
“To see you. What else could it be?”
“I see.”
A very awkward and distanced conversation like this was something normal to him. Each time he was meeting Daiki who was being himself, no make-up, no skirt, no heels, and no Arisa, the two of them had always had a very subtle conversation, almost nothing important. But the moment they got somewhere private, then all the little “fighting”, bashing, kicking, hugging, kissing, and many other normal stuff that normal couple had would start to come out from its shelf. They were so used to be hiding… oh hell yeah, they were.
When Daiki was being Arisa, things would be slightly different. Takaki would hold her hand, and Daiki wouldn’t really think twice to lean or hug Takaki. It felt like they were living a lie in front of everyone, but it was the only way that they could keep this going.
“Are you free?” asked Daiki.
“Well, are you?”
“Not really… but I can always ditch soccer.”
“Ditching soccer? That’s something new. You ditched me, emo-ing in my room when Japan lost the world cup and refused to see the TV for at least three days,” Takaki laughed.
“Oh shut up. I’ll be ditching you just fine during the world cup’s final,” a small punch landed on Takaki’s shoulder, but it wasn’t anything strong like Daiki would have done if they were alone in private.
Leaning back to the bench, Takaki put his hands on his jeans’ pocket and looked at Daiki from the corner of his eyes, observing how manly the other guy actually looked like with his soccer gear, away from all those girly outfit he wore for work. “I’m free. That’s why I’m here. What do you have in mind?”
Daiki turned his head away from Takaki, trying to look somewhere else to make sure that there wasn’t anyone around that could hear their conversation. Shifting slightly closer to Takaki as he took a sip from his water bottle, Daiki tried to avoid any unnecessary eye contact with the brunette. “Shower.”
“What?”
“I said shower,” Daiki rolled his eyes at him. “I’m all sweaty and sticky… of course all I have in mind at the moment is shower.”
Smirking, Takaki leaned forward to Daiki and showed the younger guy a very mischievous look. “Shower, huh? Kinky~…”
His single lidded eyes observed Daiki as the latter froze in his seat, totally understood the little tease that Takaki was giving him. “No,” Daiki replied him at the end.
“Why not?”
“Because when I said shower, I literally meant it as showering. Nothing else,” Daiki frowned.
“Oh come on~,” Takaki chuckled as he watched the younger guy standing up and starting to pack all his stuff. “Not that we haven’t done it there.”
“No Takaki. Just no. Not in the mood,” he turned around, making his way out of the soccer field.
“Pleaseeeeee?” he stood up as he followed Daiki. “I have Pocky~.”
Stopping on the spot, the shorter one among the two turned around slowly, clearly trying to look like he had control of his composure. While on the other hand, all that Takaki did was smiling slyly as he reached out for boxes of Pocky from his bag. Yes, boxes. Three of them. “Just pick a flavour, and it’s yours.”
“I’ll think about,” Daiki replied in a cool tone, but his eyes were definitely set on those three boxes on Takaki’s hand.
“You can have all of them,” he tried again.
“Damn it, Takaki,” Daiki groaned, stepping closer to the taller guy, and the next moment those three boxes that were on Takaki’s hand were then already on Daiki’s possession. “You got yourself a deal, damn dickhead,” he pouted slightly.
It was pretty obvious to Takaki why he liked Daiki so much. And liked might even be an understatement.
------
This would be one of his favourite moments. People might call him mushy, but he wouldn’t really care. Since Daiki graduated, the other guy spent more time in Takaki’s place than his own house. That would be the only way they could keep in touch, because if not, all they could do was talking on the phone at night; and sometimes, just talking on the phone wasn’t enough.
Seeing the smaller figure curling to him on his very own bed in the morning was just breath taking. He ran his fingers through the brown hair with a smile on his face. The sunlight was shining through the transparent curtain of that big window of his room, adding more calmness to the doll-like face before him.
Sometimes he wondered, would it be okay to tell him more about himself. Would Daiki be able to take the fact that he was mostly just a shut in, no real friend or what so ever. It was his choice to do everything by himself, to live the life he was living only with those that he trusted. For him, that was the only way to protect himself from experiencing it again.
“If only you have any idea…” he mumbled.
Much to his surprise, the soft mumble of his made the younger guy shifted in his sleep. The rounded eyes were then slowly opened and stared right back to Takaki sleepily, followed by a lazy smile from him. “Morning…” Daiki greeted him. “… and you were saying?”
“Ehm? Nothing~. I didn’t anything,” he lied.
“Really? I thought I heard something,” Daiki snuggled to Takaki as he wrapped his arms around the taller one.
Takaki did nothing but smiled. People might mistakenly think that Daiki would make a pretty stubborn boyfriend (which he was sometimes) and the one that wouldn’t stop nagging him. As the matter of fact, Daiki was more towards…. someone that would be around all the time but in the same time managed to give Takaki some personal space.
When Takaki was busy with his guitar and music sheet, Daiki would just sit on the couch, reading mangas quietly. On tiring days where Takaki felt like he was about to collapse with the lack of sleep, the younger boy would just play that X-box which Takaki rarely played himself and let him sleep on the couch with his head on Daiki’s lap.
It was hard, really, to be able to control himself. He wasn’t all about the ‘cool’ or quiet yet a baka Takaki Yuya that everyone knew him as. There was part of him that he had tried to bury deeply within himself so that no one would know about it. It was enough that people from his past knew, and he didn’t want those that he just met to give him the very same look that everyone else had being giving him since then. He didn’t want to see those looks. He despised them. He hated it when they looked at him as if he was the most unfortunate thing ever existed in the whole universe.
“Why are you awake?” asked Daiki, half muttering, with eyes still closed.
“Why can’t I?”
“I don’t know. It’s your free day, so maybe you should sleep more. I have class later and look at me, still lazing around in your bed,” the boy looked up to him, clearly showed Takaki that he wished it was still at night so that he could continue sleeping.
“I’ll go back to sleep once you left for class.”
“Why have to wait till then?”
“So I can just stare at you as for now?” he replied Daiki, grinning.
“I don’t understand your logic,” Daiki rolled his eyes.
“You don’t have to.”
And that was enough to make Daiki give up on asking more questions to Takaki. Daiki was a smart boy, but Takaki knew that if someone managed to counter back his question or argument, Daiki would choose to just give up and drop the topic. He might not be able to tell this boyfriend of his everything about him just yet, but at least he always tried to notice everything about Daiki, every single habit that his had.
For him, that was enough as for then.
------
If he said it didn’t bother him, then he would be lying. At times, it really bothered him when the one that was with him was Arisa and not Daiki. He was almost convinced that Arisa and Daiki were two different people because they were just too different sometimes. They had the same problem with their temper and such, but sometimes Takaki couldn’t feel Daiki’s presence at all when he was dressed as Arisa.
Tapping his pencil to his studio desk, his eyes casted over the feminine figure not far from him. Her hair was brown and long, and was tousled towards the end. The oversized powder brown cardigan was complimented by the big red belt on her waist, showing everyone her lack of curves and yet still feminine in the same time. That was his girlfriend standing on his studio, playing around with the staff. That was his boyfriend dressing as someone he was not.
“Arisa…” he called out her name softly.
Yet the latter didn’t seem to hear the call. She continued chatting and giggling with the females staff, talking about hair, nails, shoes, and random idols. Every single gesture from her was so feminine, so lady-like, that it almost scared Takaki out. That wasn't the person that he had a crush on. That wasn’t the person that he was falling in love with. And sometimes it irked him so much that Daiki just had to dress and act as someone that he was not in public.
“ARISA!!” he yelled at the end, sounding rather annoyed, probably a little bit too loud and fierce than he intended it to be.
Arisa turned around, eyes blinking in confusion. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her look was questioning the yell that Takaki just did. Ah, Takaki sighed. That look… was so much like Daiki’s, but it still felt different. “Yes, Yuya?” she asked, calling him with his given name. He hated it. Arisa always called him with that, but not even once Daiki called him with that. Not even once.
“Come here for a second,” he said at the end.
“Hold on. We’re talking about that new Jimmy Choo shoes. I’ll be right there in a minute,” she replied.
“No, Arisa. Now,” he groaned, rolling his eyes. Daiki wouldn’t reply him with this. Daiki wouldn’t even fucking care about Jimmy Choo’s shoes.
“Just a minute, Yuya. I won’t take long,” Arisa turned her head back to her chit chat buddies.
Takaki stood up, literally throwing his pencil to the desk, before then walked to where the fashion model was. He grabbed Arisa on the wrist and dragged her out from the studio. He didn’t like this. He had tried his best to ignore this uneasiness each time he was with Arisa, but maybe this time it was too much. All he wanted was his boyfriend.
“What the…” Arisa glared at him when they reached the hallway, trying to yank her wrist away from Takaki.
“Why didn’t you listen to me?! I just wanted you to come when I called you! What is so hard about that?!” he glared.
“Ha? I did tell you that I’ll be there in a minute. What the hell is wrong with you!?” she pulled her hand away, trying to free her wrist but yet failing. “Let me go, Yuya.”
“Don’t call me with that. And stop acting like you’re a real girl,” he groaned in frustration.
Pulling Arisa closer to him, he made sure that his glare bore to the other’s eyes, just to show her on how much it started to bother him. Her overall behaviour. Everything about her. “I want Daiki… I don’t want you.”
Arisa blinked, seemed to be shocked by what she just heard. “What are you talking about? I am Daiki. I’m just dressed as Arisa. Did you bang your head or something?”
“No, I didn’t. It’s just that…” Takaki gripped even tighter on the other’s wrist, biting his lip as he stared at her in a frustrated yet angry expression.
“Takaki, you’re hurting me,” Arisa… no… Daiki stared back at him, looking all confused and half angry. It took him a while, but he finally realised that no matter what, Arisa was still Daiki. That all these were just a mere act. “I’m just trying to make sure that they don’t find out about me. I mean… never mind. Just let me go.”
And Takaki did, followed by Daiki leaving him behind after he pushed Takaki away, making his way back to the studio… as Arisa. Brushing off his hair away from his forehead to his head, Takaki mentally slapped himself. He really needed to stop thinking that Arisa and Daiki are two different persons. Each time Daiki’s ‘Arisa-mode’ got switched off, while he was still dressed as Arisa, it always hit him hard in his head. That it was pretty close to being awaken from a really bad dream.
This started to drive him insane, really.
------
Daiki hadn’t contacted him since. Not even once. The last time they talked on the phone was about a week ago, and it was the next morning after Takaki’s little outburst. He did say sorry to Daiki, and Daiki did say that it wasn’t such a big deal. But yeah, that would be the last time they talked to each other.
He never knew that things would get this complicated. It wasn’t hard to fool the press, and it wasn’t even that hard to make Inoo stop being so jealous; but the problem relied on him. The part where he developed some feelings towards Arisa, or Daiki to be exact, wasn’t on his plan. It was supposed to be a decoy. It was just supposed to be a fake relationship. If only… if only Daiki wasn’t a guy. If only Arisa was just a real girl. He wouldn’t feel all miserable about his confused feeling.
Hey… why didn’t you answer my call? he typed, sending it right away. He had tried to call Daiki for the whole day, but he couldn’t get through to the latter at all. It was either he didn’t pick up his call, or his call couldn’t get through. The younger guy hadn’t replied any of his texts either, and everything about these got to his nerves greatly.
Not long after he put his phone back to his pocket, his apartment’s doorbell rang. Who could it be? It was 10pm, and wouldn’t it be an impropriate time to visit someone?! Getting up lazily from the couch, Takaki dragged his legs to the front door and opened it slightly to have a peek on his guest.
“Daiki?” he blinked, opening the door wider.
“Yo!” there was a huge grin on his face, and not to mention a huge bag on his shoulder.
“What is that for?” Takaki blinked, obviously staring at the big bag and his eyes didn’t break the contact even after Daiki stepped into the apartment.
“I have a week off. And I’m staying over.”
“You… what?”
“Staying over. For a week,” he replied.
“Ha? Wait a minute. We haven’t talked for a week, and you didn’t reply any of my texts, and suddenly you came to my house and said that you’d stay for a week?” Takaki grabbed Daiki on the hand, eyes questioning this weird situation.
Much to his surprise, instead of answering his question, Daiki put down his bag and went over to him to hug him. What was this for? “Dai-chan?” he asked softly, wasn't sure what to say.
“I’m sorry. I was busy with work, and I was still annoyed with what you did the other day. So maybe I was being childish for ignoring all your calls and texts,” he looked up with a somehow guilty expression plastered all over his face. “That’s why I decided to take a week off, and stay over here. I’ll accompany you to work or whatever. Of course I have to be Arisa and all, but at least I’ll be there. Do you mind?” he asked.
This… would be one of those moments where Takaki got so confused on what to do. One of those moments where he really wanted to be fully honest about the real him to Daiki because the latter was always honest to him; but yet in the same time, he knew he liked Daiki so much and was in fact falling in love with him that he was so afraid if he was being honest, he was going to lose everything he had with the younger guy.
“No. Of course I don’t,” Takaki answered. He pushed Daiki away from him, plastering a smile on his face just so that the other wouldn’t be able to read his mind. Not that he didn’t want him to, maybe just not yet. “Look at you. All tired and such a mess. Go and get some shower,” he added.
Being himself, Daiki furrowed his eyebrows, “Why should I? I’m too tired to even drag myself here. You should be grateful that at least I realised that I was being unreasonable and all and decided to come.”
“Just go shower. Please?”
“No.”
“Come on~.”
“Give me one good reason why I should,” he frowned.
Turning Daiki’s body around, Takaki literally pushed the younger boy towards where the bathroom was. Of course Daiki wouldn’t just stay quiet being pushed like that but apparently Takaki was stronger enough to push him there. “Please?”
“No. Tell me why first, then I’ll go,” Daiki insisted.
“I… have something to tell you. And… I need time to be prepared. So get some shower and buy me some time to get ready. Please?”
Daiki looked as if he really wanted to ask more, but this time he only sighed and decided that maybe he might just have to do it. “Okay fine. I’ll even take my time. And this shit is better be good.”
Okay, that went well, he thought. Takaki rushed off to the kitchen, grabbed some water, and mentally punched himself because now that he had said it, he would really have to tell Daiki about it. “Great Takaki. Really great. That was the stupidest thing you have ever done in your entire life!” he scolded himself. All these years, not even once he told anyone, not even Yabu, about what happened. Now out of no where, he decided to tell Daiki about it?! He wasn’t even sure if he loved him that much yet!
Sitting on one of the eat-in kitchen counter high chairs, Takaki stared at some random spot on the marbles before him. Oh god he was so doomed, he thought. How would he tell Daiki about this? Should he just lie? He realised that the sooner he got this done with, the better it would be for him… for them. If he really cared about Daiki to the extend that it irked him so much the moment the other acted as Arisa, he would have to know if he was ready to share everything about himself.
“So?” a voice broke his little daydreaming. Not far from him, Daiki was walking towards his direction. His hair was still wet and there was a towel on his shoulder, right on top of the black t-shirt he was wearing. “What do you want to tell me?”
“Well…” Takaki gulped.
He watched the smaller figure climbed up to one of the chairs that was right opposite the one Takaki was sitting on. Daiki took Takaki’s glass and drank from it, not really cared if it wasn’t his drink. Even though he had always liked it when Daiki’s hair was half wet, but it was his very last concern this time. He didn’t really care if it was half wet or if it was dry. All that matter now was to get this all done with.
It had been bothering him so much that he started to get mad over the smallest thing around him. He was perfectly aware about their relationship condition, but he was pressured to keep this as a secret the more his feelings grew stronger towards the younger boy.
He had been in relationships before, of course. Be it males or females. He was never serious when he was with the males, and it was just as a cover to hide his sexual preference when he was with the opposite sex. And this was the first time he would take the idea of having a relationship to something further, something that was on a whole new level that he had never stepped into before.
“I’ve killed someone before.”
And Daiki choked on his water.
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Feel free to kill me for taking TOO long?! DDDDDDD: But but but but but, at least I managed to update it!! Work is getting in a way, and I have so much shit to do. So I was so happy when I finally finished this chapter!! Yay!!!!!! I hope you're still interested in this fanfic. -bows-