first, last and only defense against the worst scum of the universe

[ihasastopwatch]

[There are Aliens. In New York. THIS IS TOTALLY UNSURPRISING, WE KNOW.

Sit down and process this information. Several tall, green things with sharp teeth and long claws are running rampant in the city, you may see them, they've already chowed down on a few of the locals, and caused a ruckus today.

But you know what? That's what Torchwood is here

Comments

[doctorweevil]

[meanwhile, Owen is sitting on a bench and...checking something on his iPhone. yep. he's useful like that.] Unfortunately, they clash horribly with your outfit.

[stolethename]

[eyebrow] I don't think it looks bad. [ :| before he says something sarcastic, owen ]

[raggedydoc]

[beam!] I think trainers and suits go quite well together, actually.

[...what? he's just along for the running, really.]

[alien_catcher]

[Gwen is just going to be over there - in her EXTREMELY uncomfortable high heeled boots, mind - staring at them all like they are insane.]

Maybe it's best if we leave the discussion about fashion for a bit later, boys.

[ihasastopwatch]

[It's sarcasm, guys. See look, he's got his usual shoes - okay, let's forget the shoe talk now. Ianto shrugs.]

But now is such a good time for it, Gwen.

[To Owen.] Last time I checked there's no app for hunting aliens on that thing.

[doctorweevil]

[yes, well, we all know how terrible Owen is with sarcasm you see what I did there?]

[without looking up] Yeah, well, it's too bad we haven't got Tosh, isn't it? And Gwen, if you fall and break something, I'm going to put the most ridiculous-looking cast I can find on you. Something plaid, maybe. Besides, I'm busy with this ridiculous game about birds.

[stolethename]

Owen, would you quit playing Angry Birds and help? [he knows, he plays that game late at night on his own phone]

Reminds me I have some updates to give everyone on their phones.

Not now, though. Get this guy first. Which means on your feet, Owen.

[raggedydoc]

See, Jack, this is why it's nice to travel with one or two people. None of this fiddly...organisation nonsense. Also, I think someone keeps moving the stickers on my Rubik's Cube. [Eleven frowns and looks around for the alien] At least we'll be prepared for an invasion of pigs in shoddily-built structures.

[alien_catcher]

Don't even think about it, Owen. You know plaid doesn't go with anything I wear.

[She holds up a... shiny new alien-tracking device... thingie that Tosh pulled out from the vaults, while leaning closer to Ianto and muttering.] You told me that was Owen's Rubick's Cube.

[Then she straightens up, pointing towards Central Park.] Got it! That way everyone!

[ihasastopwatch]

So fire Owen.

[Shrug] What? I saw Owen fiddling with it.

Aliens in Central Park. That is truly, an unexpected event. Maybe we'll get there and find the Men in Black took care of it for us already. [Regardless, starts heading over in that direction.]

[doctorweevil]

He can't fire me, then he won't have anybody to treat him when he comes down with...space herpes or something.

[Owen sighs and stands up] If they're eating small children, I have half a mind to let them be. Tell you what, we could film it and release it as some indie horror film.

[stolethename]

There's no real men in Black. Stop taking the Doctor's Rubix cube.

And I hear they mostly eat attractive women.

[raggedydoc]

Aliens don't disguise themselves as pug dogs, either. And I swear they stole the design concept of that neuralizer from me.

[the Doctor rolls his eyes] Nobody wants to eat humans, you lot taste terrible.

[alien_catcher]

Good thing, yeah, 'cause I have no interest in bein' anyone's lunch.

[She glares at Jack for good measure, and then she looks back at the Doctor.]

Wait. How do you know how humans taste?

[ihasastopwatch]

We could certainly use one of those, actually. D'you know how hard it is to Retcon a large crowd?

I don't think I want to know the answer to that one, thanks. How much further?

[However, there are people screaming in the distance which answers that question now.]

Forget I asked.

[Time to run nao.]

[doctorweevil]

[dryly] New Year...2006, wasn't it? Had to retcon everybody in the Plass. We had to rig up a sort of mister for it, I believe. Hell of a time. Reports in all the tabloids for months.

[yeah, you go ahead and run, Ianto. Owen's just gonna keep sauntering.]