30 Days and 30 Ages, Day 20 - Age 18 (Sam)
Day 20 - Age 18 (Sam)
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Sam looks at the phone in his hand. It’s been nine months since the big fight and eight since he arrived in Palo Alto. Dean called more times than he can remember, and every single time Sam stared at his name on the display until the phone stopped ringing. Dad told him to go and stay gone, ( Read more... )
I hate goodbyes. Really really REALLY hate them. I don't deal well with them. At all.
I've had WAY too many in my life. And I can't watch them or read them. I can't read death stories, and I can't even watch "All Hell Breaks Loose" or "No Rest for the Wicked" because of the goodbye. I mean, yes, I *watched* them, when they first aired, but I can't RE-watch them. It's way, way, way too painful.
And this was painful. So hard. I think it was Sam's tears and Dean's acceptance and that Dean is SUCH a good brother, that he still kept his promise, that we know that he'd been looking forward to the celebration of Sammy's eighteenth birthday, and that it had to breaking Dean's hear that he couldn't be there, but that they did their best anyway, and it breaks MY heart.
I hate that the brothers were ever so distant, so separate from each other. I hate it. The knowledge that Sam had just cut Dean so completely from his life for 2 years, the way he treated Dean in the first half of the first season, those are the reasons that I didn't instantly love the show. It hurt too much, and I hadn't even invested myself in their characters, yet.
So this hurt.
I hadn't expected it to. I mean, I knew, before I clicked on it, that it was going to be about Sam leaving. So I probably shouldn't have clicked on it. But I'd read some stories about this time period, before, and they didn't gut me like this one did, so I thought I'd be okay.
But yours? GUTTED me. I can't really explain why, except that yesterday was a really emotional day for me (I was REALLY missing my sweet cat) and that I got VERY little sleep last night.
Or, perhaps, it could be that you're an incredible writer and you just really know how to pack a punch.
Yeah. I'm thinkin' it's probably that.
:)
It was beautiful. And so, SO painful. Well done.
And I learned something. I--apparently--need to be more careful when I read the Sam-goes-to-college stories. 'Cause this can hurt me a lot more than I thought.
But, remember, I'm actually complimenting your writing by being so gutted. You're really talented!
Plus also?
Congratulations on being so close to the goal! \o/
Oh, and I owe you an email. I haven't forgotten, I swear! It's on my list for the day!
:)
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