if you're lying, you're lying
title if you're lying, you're lying
pairing Zitao/Sehun
rating PG-13
length 4,014
summary Liars come and go. Maybe that's why Sehun stays.
a/n Originally written for hyungmoney at taohunation. Gonna hit them with the one-two hit combo! I think this exchange helped bring back what I was missing when I write.
“I’m sorry.”
A lie.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Another lie.
It ends with a fifty-two.
They’re sitting at the place where they had their first date, a quaint little eatery that sprinkled French in every sentence, and played jazz music all day long. It’s too public, not the kind of scene an outburst would bode well in. Not that Zitao would give one; he offers no reaction for what he already knew.
Numbers tell him everything.
He watches carefully as the apparition floating over the man’s head quickly switches to a new number. They’re grim reminders, tallies that lead him to yet another relationship lost. Zitao sometimes wonders why he even bothers trying.
“It’s fine,” Zitao replies. He’s too tired to argue. It’s exhausting. “I hope we can stay friends.” He doesn’t lie.
The other man freezes in his seat before pasting a smile on his face. “Yeah, I hope we can stay in touch.” Another lie. The number changes once more.
“I’d like that,” Zitao says. “I’ll see you around?”
The man slowly gets up from his seat, the legs of his chair scraping along the hardwood floor. “I’ll let you know when we can get together.” It’s the final lie Zitao hears from him as his number changes for the last time and he disappears from Zitao’s life forever.
Fifty-two lies.
Zitao curls over the table as he holds his thoughts in his fingers. The man lied fifty-two more times since their time together.
He shakes away the tears and moves forward.
Zitao’s used to this feeling, of being abandoned.
Of being led on a string and falling into the shadows, a bitter ending that comes as no surprise each time it’s written. All the dreams they had, the memories, gone in the blink of an eye. He lets people in, people who probably don’t give two shits about him, and for what?
Just for those few moments of escaping the truth? To convince himself that it’s all just a nightmare?
Get real.
Liars are everywhere. He can’t escape that. It’s a fact that he wishes was just another lie. They hide behind pretty faces and prettier words. Zitao knows this. He knows it better than anyone, yet still he lets himself be fooled. Just for a taste of what is normal.
Surprises aren’t really surprises. They’ve lost their charm over the years. The appeal of having those little moments of real emotions just doesn’t shine so bright for Zitao anymore.
And why would they, when even his truths have becomes lies and what’s real and what’s fake becomes fluid?
An ocean of lies and Zitao’s just another grain of sand washed in the current.
He counts out of the corner of his eye.
The news reporter on the screen has a number in the thousands, but still keeps a smile on their face as they read the lies laid out for them. A few pedestrians flock around the shop window to watch, each with their own staggering count under their belt. It’s both amusing and telling.
It’s the breakfast hour, and everyone is rushing to get their daily dose of energy to start the day. Zitao counts and watches, weighing his options and picking his choices.
A soft jingle rings through the air as he enters the bakery. Sweet aromas dance around his nose and tease him with delicious gifts. This part of the day is always the best, waking up to the satisfying scent of bread and sugar. There’s not many people inside the bakery, and Zitao enjoys this. He enjoys the silence and how peaceful his mornings can be.
The only other person in the bakery with him is the cashier, a young man with a head full of bubblegum pink. He looks unamused with simply being up at this hour, and Zitao can shed some sympathy for him.
As soon as Zitao looks over, the cashier catches his eye and there’s an odd moment as they both freeze in place, locked within each other’s gaze. The cashier breaks away first, pretending to busy himself with organizing the straws on the counter. It’s a cute action, Zitao finds himself noting.
“I’d like these to go,” Zitao says as he fetches his wallet.
The cashier twists his lips into a nonchalant gesture as he rings up the order, wrapping the bread as he goes. “That’ll be five twenty-five. Will that be cash or card?” His voice is careful, and Zitao memorizes it.
“Card,” Zitao answers.
As the cashier finishes the order, Zitao takes this time to really take in how attractive he is. His face is sharp, jawline impeccable and lips a softer pink than his hair. The way the cashier licks them throughout the transaction makes them shiny against the low lights of the bakery. He traces the curve of his nose and drinks in his eyes, how they dance in delight when he’s finished.
He’s like a manhwa character come to life. If Zitao concentrated hard enough, he swears he can see cherry blossoms framing the cashier.
“Here you go.” The bread is already tucked away neatly in a proper bag and the cashier is sliding it along the counter with Zitao’s card and receipt. “Thank you for shopping with us.”
Zitao takes both with his thanks, taking a quick glance at the cashier’s name badge while doing so. Oh Sehun is written in neatly spaced font, and Zitao takes a moment to file it away for later.
“I hope you have a nice day,” Sehun offers as his lips curl up into a smile, and Zitao nods as he leaves the bakery.
For some reason, he takes one last look before exiting-thankfully Sehun’s already preoccupying himself with the stack of sweet rolls to not notice-and what he finds has his eyes widening.
There, above Sehun’s head is the number zero.
He didn’t lie.
That night, Zitao turns in his comforter as he thinks about the flower boy who had no lies.
It couldn’t be possible. There’s no way someone could live a life and not lie a single time. Everyone lies. It’s just human nature.
Yet, it was clear as day. Numbers just do not lie. They’re the solid constant in Zitao’s life and it helps assure him that this is a hard truth he can find comfort in. Oh Sehun: he who stepped out of a fantasy and into Zitao’s reality. He who never once lied in his life.
A smile slowly works its way onto Zitao’s face as he snuggles into slumber.
Zitao doesn’t find himself at the bakery until a couple of weeks later.
He’s been swamped with the load of assignments and deadlines and while it was easy in the beginning, it’s been becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with. Retreating into hibernation would’ve been much simpler. At least all he would have to worry about would be sleeping.
Luckily, he’s found a bit of time this morning to try and gather some sort of semblance of a routine, and he’s been waiting for a chance to revisit the cute cashier once more.
Right on cue, Sehun’s leaning against the counter in obvious boredom. Gone is the bright pink on his head, now a more attractive blond taking its place. The undercut is also new, and Zitao thinks it looks particularly fitting for Sehun. When Sehun looks up to spot the new customer, his face melts into delight and Zitao has to take a moment to realize that Sehun recognizes him.
The zero above Sehun’s head makes Zitao smile even wider.
“How have you been?” Sehun asks as he rings up Zitao’s order. It took a while, but Zitao figures going with the same order from before helps build a routine.
Zitao pulls at the ends of his sleeves. “I’ve been well. School has been killing me but I’ll manage.” He taps along the edge of the counter. “How about you? How have you been? Actually, we haven’t been officially introduced I think. I’m Zitao.”
“Sehun, but I’m sure you already know that,” Sehun answers as he offers a handshake. His smile is so eager, and Zitao briefly wonders if Sehun’s always like that with customers, or if it’s because he’s the one talking to him.
“I tend to notice things,” Zitao says as he points to Sehun’s badge. “It’s a habit of mine.”
Sehun giggles as he continues ringing up the order.
It’s funny, they haven’t known each other for very long, yet this conversation feels like so familiar. Perhaps Sehun has a way with talking to people that makes them feel comfortable. Makes them feel special. The fact that Sehun doesn’t lie could help. He’s like an enigma Zitao wants to decipher.
“It’s been busy lately,” Sehun says as he finishes up wrapping the order. “Students have been stopping by more often and sometimes it gets kind of packed that I can’t even see the exit.”
Zitao hums quietly as he listens.
“But,” Sehun starts. When Zitao looks back at him, Sehun’s eyes are looking at the bag, avoiding his gaze. Then he licks his lips. “Until now, there hasn’t been any interesting customers.”
Sehun’s zero stays. Zitao’s heart does a tumble.
His visits become more frequent, made specifically for Sehun instead of just the baked goods.
Over time, Sehun grows more comfortable around Zitao, even going as far as to share personal details about his life. Sehun’s actually a photography major and the main reason he works at this job is because he’s saving money for a trip he plans to take around the country. His family used to frequently travel around, but it stopped when Sehun started to go to college.
The way his eyes twinkle as he recounts his past travels has Zitao immersed in his tales, from how vividly he remembers every detail. Sehun’s fond of taking moments to simply pause in thought, and when he catches himself doing so, he’ll duck away shyly with a laugh.
“I used to visit prisons and take photos of the empty cells and floors.” Sehun says as he reclines in his chair. He’s taking a break from his shift and Zitao was more than happy to join him. “I like finding beauty where one wouldn’t normally find it.”
Zitao nods as he takes a sip of his coffee. “Is that why you’re into photography?”
“Yeah,” Sehun stretches his fingers along the paper napkin. “Capturing moments. It’s like memories that you can revisit over and over.”
“But prisons?” Zitao tilts his head.
Sehun laughs again, and the sound is simply wonderful. “Beauty is everywhere.” He’s leaning back, and his neck is so long, a beautiful length of skin that Zitao has to look away from. It glistens in the light, and Sehun’s breathing so slowly, relaxing inside of his uniform. “You just have to look for it sometimes.”
Sehun is beauty personified.
Zitao eyes catch the zero floating above Sehun’s head and he reminds himself that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different. “So, do you have a special someone in your life right now?” Zitao asks, covering up his forwardness by taking another sip from his drink.
This has Sehun stilling in his seat, and when he straightens his back, he looks a bit confused. “Why do you ask?” The way his shirt slips to reveal a bit of his collarbone is so inviting.
“I’m just curious, you don’t have to answer,” Zitao answers truthfully. And he is being truthful, Sehun is entitled to his own secrets.
Sehun simply stares for a few moments, like he’s searching for a silent answer to the questions he doesn’t want to ask. “It’s fine.” His lips twist with a brief smile. “I’m actually single right now.”
The zero stays. Zitao feels hopeful.
It doesn’t take long for them to exchange numbers.
Sehun initiated it first, asking for Zitao’s number in the middle of his order, despite the fact that there was quite a long line behind him. Zitao didn’t mind. It felt like the world was stopping, and he was living in the moment with just Sehun. Sometimes he just need these moments to feel real again.
It tickles Zitao how Sehun saves his number under taozi, and quickly turned pink when Zitao asked him why he did so. His answer was mostly nonsensical gibberish. Zitao files it away under the cute things he likes about Sehun.
They have their first official ‘date’ outside of the bakery a few days later when Sehun asks Zitao to meet with him at the local park. When he arrives, Sehun’s already there, and the first thing Zitao notices is that his hair is different yet again. What was once blond is now a brilliant shade of red, spikes styled in such an attractive windswept manner.
If Sehun didn’t look like a manhwa character before, he looks like the spitting image of a love interest now in his little blazer.
“You look nice,” Zitao finds himself saying before his eyes grow wide.
Sehun seems to notice and scratches the back of his neck with a shy smile. “So do you.” Not a lie. Zitao relaxes.
“Why’d you want to meet here?” Zitao asks as they walk further into the park. Luckily, there’s only a few old couples here with them, so it’s not too loud and it’s perfectly peaceful.
“I thought we could stretch our legs since we’re always talking at the shop,” Sehun says as he scrunches his nose. “I don’t dislike the place, but I stay there long enough for work. I like to feed the ducks on my days off. Helps me relax and take my mind off of things.”
Actual manhwa character.
“Do they like people doing this though?” Zitao asks before Sehun’s pulling him along by the hand. The way their fingers entwine with one another just feels so natural and Zitao’s resisting just outright squealing over it.
Sehun shakes the bag of bread in his hand. “I don’t know if they like people, but I do know they like bread.” His eyes are so happy. It’s clear he enjoys this. “One time, I was able to gather a whole crowd of them and they were just waiting for me to throw the bread. I’d like to take a picture of that this time.”
The camera strapped around Sehun’s neck looks heavy, but it doesn’t weigh him down one bit as they near the pond.
Ducks are already swimming about happily in the water, mothers leading children and even a few choosing to swim by themselves. They start quacking as Zitao and Sehun get closer to the edge of the pond, and it only grows louder when Sehun pulls out the bag of bread and carefully opens the top.
“How have you all been?” Sehun asks as he carefully breaks a few pieces out and tosses them into the water.
Immediately the ducks rush towards the bread and quickly gobble up the food. They splash, they cry. Water gets all over Zitao’s hands, but he doesn’t mind. Seeing Sehun smile is worth it. When he tries his hand at feeding the ducks, he misses them and ends up scattering the bread all over the pond. The ducks stay frozen as if there’s no food to eat around them.
“You have to aim in one place, and closer too,” Sehun informs him as he hands over more pieces of bread.
This time, Zitao throws with a bit less force and it lands a few feet away. The ducks all gather near the bread pile and Sehun pulls his camera out at this.
“I just need them a bit closer,” Sehun mumbles as he searches for a better angle.
Zitao’s plan is simple. Taking a few pieces into his hand, he waddles closer to the edge of the pond and stretches his arm out over the water. Noticing this, a nearby duck slowly paddles over until it’s only a few inches away from his hand. It’s eyeing Zitao with wariness and honestly Zitao doesn’t fault him for it.
What Zitao does fault him for though, is when the duck flies out of the pond, flapping its wings frantically and scaring the living daylights out of him. Poor Zitao ends up shrieking as the duck flies overhead and he drops the bread onto the grass in his attempt at escaping.
Sehun’s laughing off to the side and snapping away everything.
Zitao dislikes ducks.
“I hope you’re happy,” Zitao says after find an unoccupied bench to rest at.
Sehun’s still laughing under his breath. “I’ve never seen them do that before.” He looks elated. “They’re always calm when I’m around them.”
“I think it almost bit off my fingers,” Zitao says as he stretches said fingers to see if they’re all intact. They are. He returns to throwing bread pieces at the pigeons flocking to their bench. They’re a bit friendlier than their water-favoring siblings and Zitao can safely say he vastly prefers feeding them over feeding ducks.
Sehun’s still scrolling through the photos he took, and his smile grows bigger with each one he passes by. “They wouldn’t do that.” Once he’s satisfied with his collection, Sehun shifts his camera in his hands and starts capturing the pigeons, one shot at a time.
“You’re really dedicated aren’t you?” Zitao asks. Sehun adjusts his posture to get a better view, and in the process, ends up brushing against Zitao’s leg.
This sets off the first spark. Zitao swallows and composes himself as he tries not to focus so much on the way Sehun’s arm is touching his thigh. How close Sehun is to him in this moment. How even through everything that happened today, the zero is still there. Still cheering him on.
“I tend to be when I’m with a camera,” Sehun admits awkwardly. “I get really focused.”
Zitao laughs brightly. “It’s not a bad thing. I think it’s pretty admirable.”
“I… thank you,” Sehun says, ducking away as he continues.
The rain of bread continues, and the bag is already half empty. It feels like a day spent well in his honest opinion. Making memories like this is one of the reasons that Zitao wakes up every morning with another piece of hope in his smiles.
All the while, Sehun is still capturing the pigeons, but there’s a few moments where he’ll glance over at Zitao and just stare, like he’s taking in everything. It’s during one of these moments that Zitao catches him in the act, and Sehun turns away dramatically like he’s been caught doing a bad deed. Pink continues to creep along his cheeks, and Zitao decides to take a giant leap.
“Sehun, do you… like me?” Zitao asks, taking in a calming breath.
The camera shutter stop clicking and Sehun looks deep in his thoughts, biting his lips before licking them over and over. He’s obviously trying to figure out what to say, and whatever weight is on his shoulders seems to be stopping him from being honest.
Zitao helps him out. “Because I like you.”
“What?” Sehun’s voice is quiet.
Zitao takes in a deep breath and turns so he’s facing Sehun dead on. “I like you. God, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I really do. I don’t fall in love easily but, I just feel so comfortable when I’m around you.” Everything just feels so authentic. So real. “I just wanted to tell you that.”
A pigeon coos at their feet before taking flight. Then, Sehun’s taking a shot of Zitao’s face with his camera. Before Zitao can react, Sehun’s reaching forward and tangling their fingers together, smile already strong on his lips.
“I was wondering this whole time,” Sehun starts. “I just didn’t know how to actually come out and say it. But, I like you as well.” The zero doesn’t change. “I’ve liked you this whole time. I was just too involved to ever say anything. And I guess I was scared. That maybe you didn’t feel the same way. That maybe it was all just a lie I was pretending was real.”
Not a single lie.
“Are you kidding me? You’re amazing Sehun,” Zitao says, rubbing his thumb along Sehun’s skin. “I’m lucky to have met you. I’m just, I really like you okay?” He’s laughing under his breath. “Do you think… could we maybe go on a date?”
Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what this is right now?”
Zitao pulls him in for a kiss, and even though there’s elderly couples staring at them now, he doesn’t care. He kisses to know this moment is real. That Sehun is real. That his feelings weren’t lies. Sehun nearly drops his camera in his haste, his fingers coming up to brace the back of Zitao’s neck. They curl in Zitao’s hair and pull him in closer, pressing their lips harder like they want this moment to last forever.
And maybe it does.
In their memories, it’s one they’ll never forget.
“The mall is a pretty romantic place,” Sehun admits when he cycles through his photos on his laptop. “I think these photos turned out nicely.”
They’ve returned from another one of their impromptu dates, hearts full of new memories and promises for the future. Sehun’s grown more open with his touching, sometimes reaching out to drag his fingers along Zitao’s arm when they’re on the bus, or even linking their hands together when they’re walking. It’s a new routine, but it’s one Zitao doesn’t want to lose.
And still, Sehun doesn’t lie. It’s strange. For some reason, Zitao finds himself wondering if Sehun even knows how to lie. He wonders just how a lie would sound coming from Sehun’s lips.
“If you say so,” Zitao says, unconvinced. Leaning in closer to Sehun’s side, he ghosts his lips over Sehun’s ear, earning himself a low whine and a poke in the ribs.
“How am I supposed to get any work done when you’re like this?” Sehun asks in between hard breaths, shaking away the bangs from his eyes. It’s a warm caramel now, and Zitao definitely likes this look the best on his boyfriend.
Zitao laughs and brushes a hand over Sehun’s stomach before dragging his fingers up the inside of Sehun’s tank to dance along his skin. “I guess we’ll just have to see.” When he flicks his fingers over a pert nipple, Sehun practically melts into a groan.
“Come on. I have to edit these.” Sehun whines. “I have to make sure you look attractive in these photos.”
The laughter stops as Zitao’s voice drops dead serious. “I’m always attractive. I’m literally sex on legs.” He motions to the entirety of his body and there’s no mistaking the way Sehun licks his lips as he traces along with his eyes. “Everybody wants me in their bed.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Sehun says with a snort. “I don’t.”
The zero finally changes. Zitao’s jaw drops as a proud one floats above Sehun’s head.
Immediately, his lips are all over Sehun, peppering kisses along any skin he can reach. Sehun’s laughing at how urgent Zitao is, before moaning at the heat, his hands coming up to find purchase in Zitao’s clothes, urging him along for more. Their photos are abandoned for more important matters, and there’s nothing but the sweet sounds of love echoing in their apartment.
“I love you,” Sehun breathes when Zitao starts to unzip his jeans. Not a lie.
It’s almost like a relief off of his shoulders. They’ve made their feelings known throughout their dates, but to actually hear it out of Sehun’s lips, those three little words, it makes Zitao ecstatic. It sits inside of Zitao’s mind, and he makes sure to treasure this moment.
When Zitao finally tugs down Sehun’s boxers, he smiles before saying, “I love you too.”
Any further conversation is lost when Zitao dives down onto Sehun, losing himself in his lust.
So maybe Sehun isn’t perfect after all. Even Sehun lies. But that’s okay.
Zitao can live with this lie.
♔
pairing Zitao/Sehun
rating PG-13
length 4,014
summary Liars come and go. Maybe that's why Sehun stays.
a/n Originally written for hyungmoney at taohunation. Gonna hit them with the one-two hit combo! I think this exchange helped bring back what I was missing when I write.
“I’m sorry.”
A lie.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
Another lie.
It ends with a fifty-two.
They’re sitting at the place where they had their first date, a quaint little eatery that sprinkled French in every sentence, and played jazz music all day long. It’s too public, not the kind of scene an outburst would bode well in. Not that Zitao would give one; he offers no reaction for what he already knew.
Numbers tell him everything.
He watches carefully as the apparition floating over the man’s head quickly switches to a new number. They’re grim reminders, tallies that lead him to yet another relationship lost. Zitao sometimes wonders why he even bothers trying.
“It’s fine,” Zitao replies. He’s too tired to argue. It’s exhausting. “I hope we can stay friends.” He doesn’t lie.
The other man freezes in his seat before pasting a smile on his face. “Yeah, I hope we can stay in touch.” Another lie. The number changes once more.
“I’d like that,” Zitao says. “I’ll see you around?”
The man slowly gets up from his seat, the legs of his chair scraping along the hardwood floor. “I’ll let you know when we can get together.” It’s the final lie Zitao hears from him as his number changes for the last time and he disappears from Zitao’s life forever.
Fifty-two lies.
Zitao curls over the table as he holds his thoughts in his fingers. The man lied fifty-two more times since their time together.
He shakes away the tears and moves forward.
Zitao’s used to this feeling, of being abandoned.
Of being led on a string and falling into the shadows, a bitter ending that comes as no surprise each time it’s written. All the dreams they had, the memories, gone in the blink of an eye. He lets people in, people who probably don’t give two shits about him, and for what?
Just for those few moments of escaping the truth? To convince himself that it’s all just a nightmare?
Get real.
Liars are everywhere. He can’t escape that. It’s a fact that he wishes was just another lie. They hide behind pretty faces and prettier words. Zitao knows this. He knows it better than anyone, yet still he lets himself be fooled. Just for a taste of what is normal.
Surprises aren’t really surprises. They’ve lost their charm over the years. The appeal of having those little moments of real emotions just doesn’t shine so bright for Zitao anymore.
And why would they, when even his truths have becomes lies and what’s real and what’s fake becomes fluid?
An ocean of lies and Zitao’s just another grain of sand washed in the current.
He counts out of the corner of his eye.
The news reporter on the screen has a number in the thousands, but still keeps a smile on their face as they read the lies laid out for them. A few pedestrians flock around the shop window to watch, each with their own staggering count under their belt. It’s both amusing and telling.
It’s the breakfast hour, and everyone is rushing to get their daily dose of energy to start the day. Zitao counts and watches, weighing his options and picking his choices.
A soft jingle rings through the air as he enters the bakery. Sweet aromas dance around his nose and tease him with delicious gifts. This part of the day is always the best, waking up to the satisfying scent of bread and sugar. There’s not many people inside the bakery, and Zitao enjoys this. He enjoys the silence and how peaceful his mornings can be.
The only other person in the bakery with him is the cashier, a young man with a head full of bubblegum pink. He looks unamused with simply being up at this hour, and Zitao can shed some sympathy for him.
As soon as Zitao looks over, the cashier catches his eye and there’s an odd moment as they both freeze in place, locked within each other’s gaze. The cashier breaks away first, pretending to busy himself with organizing the straws on the counter. It’s a cute action, Zitao finds himself noting.
“I’d like these to go,” Zitao says as he fetches his wallet.
The cashier twists his lips into a nonchalant gesture as he rings up the order, wrapping the bread as he goes. “That’ll be five twenty-five. Will that be cash or card?” His voice is careful, and Zitao memorizes it.
“Card,” Zitao answers.
As the cashier finishes the order, Zitao takes this time to really take in how attractive he is. His face is sharp, jawline impeccable and lips a softer pink than his hair. The way the cashier licks them throughout the transaction makes them shiny against the low lights of the bakery. He traces the curve of his nose and drinks in his eyes, how they dance in delight when he’s finished.
He’s like a manhwa character come to life. If Zitao concentrated hard enough, he swears he can see cherry blossoms framing the cashier.
“Here you go.” The bread is already tucked away neatly in a proper bag and the cashier is sliding it along the counter with Zitao’s card and receipt. “Thank you for shopping with us.”
Zitao takes both with his thanks, taking a quick glance at the cashier’s name badge while doing so. Oh Sehun is written in neatly spaced font, and Zitao takes a moment to file it away for later.
“I hope you have a nice day,” Sehun offers as his lips curl up into a smile, and Zitao nods as he leaves the bakery.
For some reason, he takes one last look before exiting-thankfully Sehun’s already preoccupying himself with the stack of sweet rolls to not notice-and what he finds has his eyes widening.
There, above Sehun’s head is the number zero.
He didn’t lie.
That night, Zitao turns in his comforter as he thinks about the flower boy who had no lies.
It couldn’t be possible. There’s no way someone could live a life and not lie a single time. Everyone lies. It’s just human nature.
Yet, it was clear as day. Numbers just do not lie. They’re the solid constant in Zitao’s life and it helps assure him that this is a hard truth he can find comfort in. Oh Sehun: he who stepped out of a fantasy and into Zitao’s reality. He who never once lied in his life.
A smile slowly works its way onto Zitao’s face as he snuggles into slumber.
Zitao doesn’t find himself at the bakery until a couple of weeks later.
He’s been swamped with the load of assignments and deadlines and while it was easy in the beginning, it’s been becoming increasingly difficult to keep up with. Retreating into hibernation would’ve been much simpler. At least all he would have to worry about would be sleeping.
Luckily, he’s found a bit of time this morning to try and gather some sort of semblance of a routine, and he’s been waiting for a chance to revisit the cute cashier once more.
Right on cue, Sehun’s leaning against the counter in obvious boredom. Gone is the bright pink on his head, now a more attractive blond taking its place. The undercut is also new, and Zitao thinks it looks particularly fitting for Sehun. When Sehun looks up to spot the new customer, his face melts into delight and Zitao has to take a moment to realize that Sehun recognizes him.
The zero above Sehun’s head makes Zitao smile even wider.
“How have you been?” Sehun asks as he rings up Zitao’s order. It took a while, but Zitao figures going with the same order from before helps build a routine.
Zitao pulls at the ends of his sleeves. “I’ve been well. School has been killing me but I’ll manage.” He taps along the edge of the counter. “How about you? How have you been? Actually, we haven’t been officially introduced I think. I’m Zitao.”
“Sehun, but I’m sure you already know that,” Sehun answers as he offers a handshake. His smile is so eager, and Zitao briefly wonders if Sehun’s always like that with customers, or if it’s because he’s the one talking to him.
“I tend to notice things,” Zitao says as he points to Sehun’s badge. “It’s a habit of mine.”
Sehun giggles as he continues ringing up the order.
It’s funny, they haven’t known each other for very long, yet this conversation feels like so familiar. Perhaps Sehun has a way with talking to people that makes them feel comfortable. Makes them feel special. The fact that Sehun doesn’t lie could help. He’s like an enigma Zitao wants to decipher.
“It’s been busy lately,” Sehun says as he finishes up wrapping the order. “Students have been stopping by more often and sometimes it gets kind of packed that I can’t even see the exit.”
Zitao hums quietly as he listens.
“But,” Sehun starts. When Zitao looks back at him, Sehun’s eyes are looking at the bag, avoiding his gaze. Then he licks his lips. “Until now, there hasn’t been any interesting customers.”
Sehun’s zero stays. Zitao’s heart does a tumble.
His visits become more frequent, made specifically for Sehun instead of just the baked goods.
Over time, Sehun grows more comfortable around Zitao, even going as far as to share personal details about his life. Sehun’s actually a photography major and the main reason he works at this job is because he’s saving money for a trip he plans to take around the country. His family used to frequently travel around, but it stopped when Sehun started to go to college.
The way his eyes twinkle as he recounts his past travels has Zitao immersed in his tales, from how vividly he remembers every detail. Sehun’s fond of taking moments to simply pause in thought, and when he catches himself doing so, he’ll duck away shyly with a laugh.
“I used to visit prisons and take photos of the empty cells and floors.” Sehun says as he reclines in his chair. He’s taking a break from his shift and Zitao was more than happy to join him. “I like finding beauty where one wouldn’t normally find it.”
Zitao nods as he takes a sip of his coffee. “Is that why you’re into photography?”
“Yeah,” Sehun stretches his fingers along the paper napkin. “Capturing moments. It’s like memories that you can revisit over and over.”
“But prisons?” Zitao tilts his head.
Sehun laughs again, and the sound is simply wonderful. “Beauty is everywhere.” He’s leaning back, and his neck is so long, a beautiful length of skin that Zitao has to look away from. It glistens in the light, and Sehun’s breathing so slowly, relaxing inside of his uniform. “You just have to look for it sometimes.”
Sehun is beauty personified.
Zitao eyes catch the zero floating above Sehun’s head and he reminds himself that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different. “So, do you have a special someone in your life right now?” Zitao asks, covering up his forwardness by taking another sip from his drink.
This has Sehun stilling in his seat, and when he straightens his back, he looks a bit confused. “Why do you ask?” The way his shirt slips to reveal a bit of his collarbone is so inviting.
“I’m just curious, you don’t have to answer,” Zitao answers truthfully. And he is being truthful, Sehun is entitled to his own secrets.
Sehun simply stares for a few moments, like he’s searching for a silent answer to the questions he doesn’t want to ask. “It’s fine.” His lips twist with a brief smile. “I’m actually single right now.”
The zero stays. Zitao feels hopeful.
It doesn’t take long for them to exchange numbers.
Sehun initiated it first, asking for Zitao’s number in the middle of his order, despite the fact that there was quite a long line behind him. Zitao didn’t mind. It felt like the world was stopping, and he was living in the moment with just Sehun. Sometimes he just need these moments to feel real again.
It tickles Zitao how Sehun saves his number under taozi, and quickly turned pink when Zitao asked him why he did so. His answer was mostly nonsensical gibberish. Zitao files it away under the cute things he likes about Sehun.
They have their first official ‘date’ outside of the bakery a few days later when Sehun asks Zitao to meet with him at the local park. When he arrives, Sehun’s already there, and the first thing Zitao notices is that his hair is different yet again. What was once blond is now a brilliant shade of red, spikes styled in such an attractive windswept manner.
If Sehun didn’t look like a manhwa character before, he looks like the spitting image of a love interest now in his little blazer.
“You look nice,” Zitao finds himself saying before his eyes grow wide.
Sehun seems to notice and scratches the back of his neck with a shy smile. “So do you.” Not a lie. Zitao relaxes.
“Why’d you want to meet here?” Zitao asks as they walk further into the park. Luckily, there’s only a few old couples here with them, so it’s not too loud and it’s perfectly peaceful.
“I thought we could stretch our legs since we’re always talking at the shop,” Sehun says as he scrunches his nose. “I don’t dislike the place, but I stay there long enough for work. I like to feed the ducks on my days off. Helps me relax and take my mind off of things.”
Actual manhwa character.
“Do they like people doing this though?” Zitao asks before Sehun’s pulling him along by the hand. The way their fingers entwine with one another just feels so natural and Zitao’s resisting just outright squealing over it.
Sehun shakes the bag of bread in his hand. “I don’t know if they like people, but I do know they like bread.” His eyes are so happy. It’s clear he enjoys this. “One time, I was able to gather a whole crowd of them and they were just waiting for me to throw the bread. I’d like to take a picture of that this time.”
The camera strapped around Sehun’s neck looks heavy, but it doesn’t weigh him down one bit as they near the pond.
Ducks are already swimming about happily in the water, mothers leading children and even a few choosing to swim by themselves. They start quacking as Zitao and Sehun get closer to the edge of the pond, and it only grows louder when Sehun pulls out the bag of bread and carefully opens the top.
“How have you all been?” Sehun asks as he carefully breaks a few pieces out and tosses them into the water.
Immediately the ducks rush towards the bread and quickly gobble up the food. They splash, they cry. Water gets all over Zitao’s hands, but he doesn’t mind. Seeing Sehun smile is worth it. When he tries his hand at feeding the ducks, he misses them and ends up scattering the bread all over the pond. The ducks stay frozen as if there’s no food to eat around them.
“You have to aim in one place, and closer too,” Sehun informs him as he hands over more pieces of bread.
This time, Zitao throws with a bit less force and it lands a few feet away. The ducks all gather near the bread pile and Sehun pulls his camera out at this.
“I just need them a bit closer,” Sehun mumbles as he searches for a better angle.
Zitao’s plan is simple. Taking a few pieces into his hand, he waddles closer to the edge of the pond and stretches his arm out over the water. Noticing this, a nearby duck slowly paddles over until it’s only a few inches away from his hand. It’s eyeing Zitao with wariness and honestly Zitao doesn’t fault him for it.
What Zitao does fault him for though, is when the duck flies out of the pond, flapping its wings frantically and scaring the living daylights out of him. Poor Zitao ends up shrieking as the duck flies overhead and he drops the bread onto the grass in his attempt at escaping.
Sehun’s laughing off to the side and snapping away everything.
Zitao dislikes ducks.
“I hope you’re happy,” Zitao says after find an unoccupied bench to rest at.
Sehun’s still laughing under his breath. “I’ve never seen them do that before.” He looks elated. “They’re always calm when I’m around them.”
“I think it almost bit off my fingers,” Zitao says as he stretches said fingers to see if they’re all intact. They are. He returns to throwing bread pieces at the pigeons flocking to their bench. They’re a bit friendlier than their water-favoring siblings and Zitao can safely say he vastly prefers feeding them over feeding ducks.
Sehun’s still scrolling through the photos he took, and his smile grows bigger with each one he passes by. “They wouldn’t do that.” Once he’s satisfied with his collection, Sehun shifts his camera in his hands and starts capturing the pigeons, one shot at a time.
“You’re really dedicated aren’t you?” Zitao asks. Sehun adjusts his posture to get a better view, and in the process, ends up brushing against Zitao’s leg.
This sets off the first spark. Zitao swallows and composes himself as he tries not to focus so much on the way Sehun’s arm is touching his thigh. How close Sehun is to him in this moment. How even through everything that happened today, the zero is still there. Still cheering him on.
“I tend to be when I’m with a camera,” Sehun admits awkwardly. “I get really focused.”
Zitao laughs brightly. “It’s not a bad thing. I think it’s pretty admirable.”
“I… thank you,” Sehun says, ducking away as he continues.
The rain of bread continues, and the bag is already half empty. It feels like a day spent well in his honest opinion. Making memories like this is one of the reasons that Zitao wakes up every morning with another piece of hope in his smiles.
All the while, Sehun is still capturing the pigeons, but there’s a few moments where he’ll glance over at Zitao and just stare, like he’s taking in everything. It’s during one of these moments that Zitao catches him in the act, and Sehun turns away dramatically like he’s been caught doing a bad deed. Pink continues to creep along his cheeks, and Zitao decides to take a giant leap.
“Sehun, do you… like me?” Zitao asks, taking in a calming breath.
The camera shutter stop clicking and Sehun looks deep in his thoughts, biting his lips before licking them over and over. He’s obviously trying to figure out what to say, and whatever weight is on his shoulders seems to be stopping him from being honest.
Zitao helps him out. “Because I like you.”
“What?” Sehun’s voice is quiet.
Zitao takes in a deep breath and turns so he’s facing Sehun dead on. “I like you. God, I can’t believe I’m saying this but I really do. I don’t fall in love easily but, I just feel so comfortable when I’m around you.” Everything just feels so authentic. So real. “I just wanted to tell you that.”
A pigeon coos at their feet before taking flight. Then, Sehun’s taking a shot of Zitao’s face with his camera. Before Zitao can react, Sehun’s reaching forward and tangling their fingers together, smile already strong on his lips.
“I was wondering this whole time,” Sehun starts. “I just didn’t know how to actually come out and say it. But, I like you as well.” The zero doesn’t change. “I’ve liked you this whole time. I was just too involved to ever say anything. And I guess I was scared. That maybe you didn’t feel the same way. That maybe it was all just a lie I was pretending was real.”
Not a single lie.
“Are you kidding me? You’re amazing Sehun,” Zitao says, rubbing his thumb along Sehun’s skin. “I’m lucky to have met you. I’m just, I really like you okay?” He’s laughing under his breath. “Do you think… could we maybe go on a date?”
Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Isn’t that what this is right now?”
Zitao pulls him in for a kiss, and even though there’s elderly couples staring at them now, he doesn’t care. He kisses to know this moment is real. That Sehun is real. That his feelings weren’t lies. Sehun nearly drops his camera in his haste, his fingers coming up to brace the back of Zitao’s neck. They curl in Zitao’s hair and pull him in closer, pressing their lips harder like they want this moment to last forever.
And maybe it does.
In their memories, it’s one they’ll never forget.
“The mall is a pretty romantic place,” Sehun admits when he cycles through his photos on his laptop. “I think these photos turned out nicely.”
They’ve returned from another one of their impromptu dates, hearts full of new memories and promises for the future. Sehun’s grown more open with his touching, sometimes reaching out to drag his fingers along Zitao’s arm when they’re on the bus, or even linking their hands together when they’re walking. It’s a new routine, but it’s one Zitao doesn’t want to lose.
And still, Sehun doesn’t lie. It’s strange. For some reason, Zitao finds himself wondering if Sehun even knows how to lie. He wonders just how a lie would sound coming from Sehun’s lips.
“If you say so,” Zitao says, unconvinced. Leaning in closer to Sehun’s side, he ghosts his lips over Sehun’s ear, earning himself a low whine and a poke in the ribs.
“How am I supposed to get any work done when you’re like this?” Sehun asks in between hard breaths, shaking away the bangs from his eyes. It’s a warm caramel now, and Zitao definitely likes this look the best on his boyfriend.
Zitao laughs and brushes a hand over Sehun’s stomach before dragging his fingers up the inside of Sehun’s tank to dance along his skin. “I guess we’ll just have to see.” When he flicks his fingers over a pert nipple, Sehun practically melts into a groan.
“Come on. I have to edit these.” Sehun whines. “I have to make sure you look attractive in these photos.”
The laughter stops as Zitao’s voice drops dead serious. “I’m always attractive. I’m literally sex on legs.” He motions to the entirety of his body and there’s no mistaking the way Sehun licks his lips as he traces along with his eyes. “Everybody wants me in their bed.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Sehun says with a snort. “I don’t.”
The zero finally changes. Zitao’s jaw drops as a proud one floats above Sehun’s head.
Immediately, his lips are all over Sehun, peppering kisses along any skin he can reach. Sehun’s laughing at how urgent Zitao is, before moaning at the heat, his hands coming up to find purchase in Zitao’s clothes, urging him along for more. Their photos are abandoned for more important matters, and there’s nothing but the sweet sounds of love echoing in their apartment.
“I love you,” Sehun breathes when Zitao starts to unzip his jeans. Not a lie.
It’s almost like a relief off of his shoulders. They’ve made their feelings known throughout their dates, but to actually hear it out of Sehun’s lips, those three little words, it makes Zitao ecstatic. It sits inside of Zitao’s mind, and he makes sure to treasure this moment.
When Zitao finally tugs down Sehun’s boxers, he smiles before saying, “I love you too.”
Any further conversation is lost when Zitao dives down onto Sehun, losing himself in his lust.
So maybe Sehun isn’t perfect after all. Even Sehun lies. But that’s okay.
Zitao can live with this lie.
♔