totally agree with your pacing comments, but they're mostly due to the 5:30 time restriction the class puts on us. I would've wanted him to protest/fight more before leaving the field (though I think that's a little extraneous to the actual story), we had him actually getting out of the car (it added an unnecessary 4 seconds), and we had him throwing 3 baseballs, not two (2 felt short, 3 feels more natural, but we didn't have that extra 15 seconds or so). with the kids, that's my lazy fault; I wanted to record the kids actually talking about him ("oh my god, you hit it! you deal with it!" etc.) but never got around to it, so I had to use crap from the sound library.
the loudness issue really comes through in a home stereo. the sound is mixed for a theatre, and in the theatre, it sounds great. But played at home, that change is really, really apparent, a lot more jarring. And the announcer voice -- haha, what happened was, the guy I recorded kind of did the old-school voice himself, so when we tried to do mess around with the sound to give it that aged feel, it came off whiny and weird. lesson learned, on my part.
anyway, thanks for the comments. mostly, I agree, and it's nice to hear regardless, to think of what I could've done differently. Glad you liked it.
Ah, a 5:30 time restriction. In that case, I would have considered cutting the part where the kids hit his car with the baseball entirely (as well as the "Early Retirement" title, which I didn't really feel was necessary). It would have given you the extra seconds you needed to have him throw three baseballs, and it would have heightened the surprise of the baseball shattering the window just as he was about to take the pills (whereas here, it's more of an "oh right, they're still having trouble holding onto the damn baseball" type thing when it first happens).
Also, John has an excellent point about George contemplating suicide in a very short time.
Anyway, good stuff. See if Kevin Costner is available for a sequel...actually, no, just stick with the guy who played George.
Actually, cutting the kids at the beginning might be the best idea i'd never heard. I had always seen it as a plant, to keep the baseball at the end from seeming like too much of a deus ex machina. But in hindsight, it should've gone.
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the loudness issue really comes through in a home stereo. the sound is mixed for a theatre, and in the theatre, it sounds great. But played at home, that change is really, really apparent, a lot more jarring. And the announcer voice -- haha, what happened was, the guy I recorded kind of did the old-school voice himself, so when we tried to do mess around with the sound to give it that aged feel, it came off whiny and weird. lesson learned, on my part.
anyway, thanks for the comments. mostly, I agree, and it's nice to hear regardless, to think of what I could've done differently. Glad you liked it.
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Also, John has an excellent point about George contemplating suicide in a very short time.
Anyway, good stuff. See if Kevin Costner is available for a sequel...actually, no, just stick with the guy who played George.
Peace,
Matt
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Screw Kevin Costner. I want clint eastwood.
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