Harry Potter (Remus/Tonks) FIC: By Any Other Name

[bratty_jedi]

Title: By Any Other Name
Rating: Not for little ones due to one frequently repeated curse word, but that isn't a problem around here.
Characters: Remun Lupin and N. Tonks with Harry Potter and Sirius Black making their off screen prescences strongly felt.
Setting: During Chapter 29 of Order of the Phoenix.
Format: Fic (~2,800 words)
Summary: "'

Comments

[gilpin25]

Really liked this; I think it was an excellent scene to pick to fill in "What happened next," and comes across as both plausible and well-written. (I always like to imagine Tonks was just out of the room when Harry popped in for his little chat, and Remus was studying bargain holidays for two on that parchment;)). I particularly liked the fact that Tonks didn't solve the problem with some smart answer, which would have seemed a little unlikely, but diminished it for him as much by force of personality as what she actually said, especially him hiding the lingering bitterness at the end. Good characterisation of them both.

My one suggestion - and I don't know how helpful this is, as you might not have even wanted to approach this in anything like this way - is that the first paragraph is a scene setter for the reader; Remus is here, this is what's just happened. Which there's absolutely nothing wrong with, but I did wonder if you'd started with Remus gazing thoughtfully into the fire, and thinking how the past always effects the future etc. I for one would immediately associate this with Remus fire gazing in HBP so you know he's not happy about something from the off, and you could also make it more of a mystery when this is all happening, if you wanted to. If Tonks comes in then, you could bit by bit let the reader know all the details which you've told them in that opening paragraph, through her questions and their dialogue.

As I said, that might be the worst idea you've heard all day, and not what you wanted to do at all, so feel free to treat it with contempt! But thanks again for the enjoyable read, I'm very picky what I read at my lunch breaks, and Tonks telling Remus he was talking bollocks was perfect. :)

[gilpin25]

what she actually said, especially him hiding

Erm, there's a missing 'and.' "...what she actually said, and especially him hiding..." Why is it I never notice these things till I press the damn button? ;)

[bratty_jedi]

Thanks for the lovely review! I'm glad you liked it and that leaving it messy seemed like the best way for it to go. I really wanted that, but wasn't sure I could leave the issues unresolved without feeling like I left the story hanging as well. I'm so relieved I apparently managed to walk the fine line between the two :)

I see what you're saying with the setup and I'll have to think about it. I kind of like the idea of reducing the setup and letting it unfold a little more throughout the story. The one problem is I do want to have the bit about Remus and Sirius taking a pleasant stroll down memory lane before they both went into their separate funks and I'm not sure how to fit that in later. Perhaps I could have Tonks ask about "Where's Sirius?" at some point and slide it into the dialogue that way. Hmmm... I shall ponder and perhaps get back to you. Thanks for the suggestion!

So glad I could provide the perfect lunch break reading!