My life is complicated. Rawr.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the hell is going onnnnnnnnn?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what the "right" thing is. Is it what's right for me? Or any number of other people? I just want to go on a short sabbatical from the world and spend it in prayer and meditation. I need days of reading and drawing and no one but me. But these things will not happen, I know. And I will just stumble forward, trying to do as little damage as possible, and inevitably allowing myself to take all the hits. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I'd rather care and love and be passionate and whole-hearted, really embracing life and living with vivacity in brilliant colours, than be timid, apathetic, or closed off.
Also, I'm noticing how much more confident I am than I used to be. At home I am beautiful, desirable, glowing, effervescent, witty, adorable, charming, unafraid, energetic, dynamic, kinetic, loved, laughing, brilliant, affirmed, uplifted, crazy, vivacious, intense, alive...
And I'm not ready to give this up to go back to school. When I think about it, it makes me sad.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what the "right" thing is. Is it what's right for me? Or any number of other people? I just want to go on a short sabbatical from the world and spend it in prayer and meditation. I need days of reading and drawing and no one but me. But these things will not happen, I know. And I will just stumble forward, trying to do as little damage as possible, and inevitably allowing myself to take all the hits. But you know what? I'm okay with that. I'd rather care and love and be passionate and whole-hearted, really embracing life and living with vivacity in brilliant colours, than be timid, apathetic, or closed off.
Also, I'm noticing how much more confident I am than I used to be. At home I am beautiful, desirable, glowing, effervescent, witty, adorable, charming, unafraid, energetic, dynamic, kinetic, loved, laughing, brilliant, affirmed, uplifted, crazy, vivacious, intense, alive...
And I'm not ready to give this up to go back to school. When I think about it, it makes me sad.