Why?

[bratscheboi]

Someday (and I would love for it to be soon, though I doubt it) I would really appreciate understanding why it is I have such a superhuman, or at least abnormally high, capacity to love others, yet seem clearly destined to live in such solitude and loneliness/singlehood. It would truly be a waste of time to attempt at this point to count how many times I have failed at engaging someone's interest who I thought was keen on me. Or, better stated, how many times I have pushed away someone who seemed keen on me, by being too immediately affectionate. I just try to act as comes naturally, but clearly most people I meet aren't ready for that.

I just wish I understood why I've been given such a blessing of a HUGE capacity to love (as my faith has me convinced that the capacity to love can NEVER truly be a curse).