Lamest Pickup Attempt Ever of the Week.
So I think I have now literally seen every strange method of hitting on chicks that one could ever possibly witness in a single lifetime (not that they were all directed at ME, of course.). This makes it official! And so dumb that I feel sharing it is an imperative at this point. The other day, some (FIFTY-ONE YEAR OLD) guy wrote me this, in response to the profile I have on OkCupid (yeah yeah, shuddup):
=====bugrub wrote=====
You just picked the wrong time to be here....you are a Hippie.
Cute and a little tubby (nice boobs though)barefoot and mildly bi-polar!
Us?............
We are living together right now. Two women one man. Expecting one more female to join us soon. Still have room at the end I mean inn.
Not exactly not all about sex and we are not religious so no cult here we just really like each other. We are all horn dogs!!!
We are educated smart folks just like you.
Are you interested in learning more about us?
The Smith Family of Friends
People, what the fuck? Even after three reads, I'm still totally confused as to what the motive even was there? Needless to say, I was amused enough to feel obligated to answer.
********
My reply:
Hmm. Yeah. I'm not sure exactly what kind of response you were expecting to this? But at your age, you probably already know better than to think that this tactic would pique the interest of, well, virtually anyone. Except perhaps the very masochistic.
However, since part of me admires your huevos for writing something so egocentric and random (though the other part of me just wants to kick you in the huevos), I shall reply regardless.
Uhm. NO. No no no. If I was looking to join a fucking harem led by an arrogant middle-aged dude with a sultan complex, I'd move to Brunei, cover my hair and cut my clit off with a sharp rock. So... thanks. But no thanks.
On that note, have a fantastic day. :D
Zoë
=====bugrub wrote=====
You just picked the wrong time to be here....you are a Hippie.
Cute and a little tubby (nice boobs though)barefoot and mildly bi-polar!
Us?............
We are living together right now. Two women one man. Expecting one more female to join us soon. Still have room at the end I mean inn.
Not exactly not all about sex and we are not religious so no cult here we just really like each other. We are all horn dogs!!!
We are educated smart folks just like you.
Are you interested in learning more about us?
The Smith Family of Friends
People, what the fuck? Even after three reads, I'm still totally confused as to what the motive even was there? Needless to say, I was amused enough to feel obligated to answer.
********
My reply:
Hmm. Yeah. I'm not sure exactly what kind of response you were expecting to this? But at your age, you probably already know better than to think that this tactic would pique the interest of, well, virtually anyone. Except perhaps the very masochistic.
However, since part of me admires your huevos for writing something so egocentric and random (though the other part of me just wants to kick you in the huevos), I shall reply regardless.
Uhm. NO. No no no. If I was looking to join a fucking harem led by an arrogant middle-aged dude with a sultan complex, I'd move to Brunei, cover my hair and cut my clit off with a sharp rock. So... thanks. But no thanks.
On that note, have a fantastic day. :D
Zoë