In which I flush a flew brain-turds down the ElJay toilet.
ososexilexi, I'm sitting in your house and you are not. Heh. Should I pull some kind of Seinfeldian "SOMETHING of yours has been in the toilet, but you'll never know what!" prank? Oh wait. That would only end in me getting kicked out of said house. And heartbreak.
It all ends in heartbreak, doesn't it?
I have no idea what I'm talking about. I think this ear infection I've got is making me slightly loopy. Not to mention unbalanced (in a physical sense, rather than, you know, existential). Last night I literally lost my footing, fell down, hit my head and blacked out for a second. That ain't no fun, like, fa rillz. I'm not sure if it was a black-out? But upon hitting the floor, I fell into an immediate and very deep and very surreal... reverie... quite bizarre.
Thank the pink unicorn that the ear did, in fact, NOT explode on my flight up here as I was afraid it might, although I had special eardrops and cotton balls and Xanax and bubblegum and a 600-page book standing between me and certain eardisaster.
The dorkiness of being totally off-kilter and having a cotton ball jammed in my ear did not deter me from almost approaching one of the hot black Marines on my flight - for whom the stewardess had, moments before, set off waves of patriotic clapping after announcing their "brave return home from Eye-Raaaack!" over the loudspeaker - and letting him know that today was September 15th. And where I come from, September 15th is better known as Blow a Random Marine in an Airport Bathroom Day. (If klassy pickup lines were nickels, I would totally be a thousandaire.)
Thankfully, I restrained myself. But just barely, people.
Anyway. Lah di dah. Yeah, so... CHEESE STEAKS AND LIBERTY BELLS AND BAD JAZZ MUSIC AND TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERIES AND SIGNIFICANTLY-COOLER-THAN-FLORIDA-SWAMP WEATHER AND WHATEVER ELSE PHILLY HAS TO OFFER ME TODAY, here I am. Give it to me.
It all ends in heartbreak, doesn't it?
I have no idea what I'm talking about. I think this ear infection I've got is making me slightly loopy. Not to mention unbalanced (in a physical sense, rather than, you know, existential). Last night I literally lost my footing, fell down, hit my head and blacked out for a second. That ain't no fun, like, fa rillz. I'm not sure if it was a black-out? But upon hitting the floor, I fell into an immediate and very deep and very surreal... reverie... quite bizarre.
Thank the pink unicorn that the ear did, in fact, NOT explode on my flight up here as I was afraid it might, although I had special eardrops and cotton balls and Xanax and bubblegum and a 600-page book standing between me and certain eardisaster.
The dorkiness of being totally off-kilter and having a cotton ball jammed in my ear did not deter me from almost approaching one of the hot black Marines on my flight - for whom the stewardess had, moments before, set off waves of patriotic clapping after announcing their "brave return home from Eye-Raaaack!" over the loudspeaker - and letting him know that today was September 15th. And where I come from, September 15th is better known as Blow a Random Marine in an Airport Bathroom Day. (If klassy pickup lines were nickels, I would totally be a thousandaire.)
Thankfully, I restrained myself. But just barely, people.
Anyway. Lah di dah. Yeah, so... CHEESE STEAKS AND LIBERTY BELLS AND BAD JAZZ MUSIC AND TRIPLE BYPASS SURGERIES AND SIGNIFICANTLY-COOLER-THAN-FLORIDA-SWAMP WEATHER AND WHATEVER ELSE PHILLY HAS TO OFFER ME TODAY, here I am. Give it to me.