Masterpiece Theatre: Men Not Afraid to Call a Hot Man Hot. Also, my New Moon review. :)
So, Mr. Brat offered to babysit Baby Brat Saturday so I could go see New Moon with a friend. Following is our discussion, which really deserves to be made into a play.
MEN NOT AFRAID TO CALL A HOT MAN HOT
Scene opens with Mr. and Mrs. Brat on the couch. A seemingly typical Saturday at home.
Mr. Brat (reading from the New York Times review of NM): "Jacob has secrets of his own that soon emerge, first in the form of some massive biceps." That's why I'M going to see it. That guy is HOT.
Brat laughs.
Mr. Brat: Every woman I work with says she's going to see this movie for Edward. And every guy I know says he's got to go see it with her. But they're really going to see it for Jacob.
Brat: What?
Mr. Brat: Well, he's been working out.
Brat: So let me get this straight. Men want to see New Moon for Jacob because he's been working out.
Mr. Brat: That and he looks like Raphael Nadal.
Brat: That's why you're in love with him.
Mr. Brat: Exactly.
Brat: I can see you, Jacob, and Rafa in a hotel room. Now THAT would be some fanfiction.
Mr. Brat: You mean fanFRICTION.
CURTAIN.
And here is my very random and sketchy review of New Moon. Watch out for spoilers!!
I cannot tell a lie: this film reminded me why I love RPattz the Twilight series.
Things I liked:
Chris Weitz. Overall I thought it was better directed than Twilight (sorry, Catherine Hardwicke!). More emotional truth in most of the scenes.
Jacob. That surprised me more than anyone. I actually liked Taylor's performance and finally bought that Bella might see him as a viable love interest. And yes, he has indeed been working out. Will say no more as he is still underage. ;) Also liked Quil and Embry; they were adorable actors, and the scenes with them were very funny.
Passion between Edward and Bella. Felt it. Very nice desire and restraint in the kissing scenes between Bella and Edward. I could FEEL the need and the frustration from both of them. YAY!!
New and improved Cullen vampire makeup and contact lenses. Loved that they actually looked otherworldly. Thought Edward was much more eerily handsome as opposed to pasty in this film, particularly when he's with the Volturi. Small issue: I'm guessing he has pale lips in that scene because he hasn't fed? If so, why are his eyes not black? Don't get me wrong, I love the pale amber lenses; they really make him look very un-human.
Victoria. I appreciated the reminder of why she was there (a problem in the book is that she's hardly a presence).
Vampire skillz. Liked the new way of showing Victoria's speed (no blurring motion at all as she ran through the forest, just really fast running) and Felix's strength (a sparing use of blurring into slow-motion precision).
Charlie. NGL, got a crush on that there daddy.
Jessica. When she and Bella leave the zombie movie she is so damn funny, and without sacrificing any of the realism of the scene. Love her.
Mike. Lord, that kid cracked me up. And great "sick" makeup. ;)
Alice. Adorable and gorgeous as always.
Jasper. Got a bit more of him in this film, and finally got to see his "gift" in action. And loved his delivery of his line when Bella calls for the vote at the end of the film.
The fight with the Volturi. THANK YOU, Melissa Rosenberg, for putting some ACTION into this relatively actionless climax!! And the humor throughout the entire film was well-placed.
Things I didn't like:
CGI wolves. I thought wolf!Jake's fight with wolf!Paul looked great from a choreography standpoint (snarling, rolling, flipping wolves). But anytime the wolves were relatively still, they looked kinda fake. Sorry, CGI people.
Lack of muscles in Quil and Embry. They were really cute guys (Embry especially); but when they had to run around shirtless, their bodies didn't match those of the other members of the pack. I guess it's hard to get it all when you're casting.
Jasper's ultra-upright posture. I think he was trying to reign himself in around Bella, and perhaps hearkening back to his Civil War officer posture ... but it looked affected to me. Sorry, Jackson.
Edward's droopiness. There should have been more of a contrast in Edward between pre- and post-birthday party disaster. Theatrically speaking, we need to see more of a high to appreciate the extreme low after the party. I know, in general Edward is waiting for the shoe to drop even before Jasper attacks. But theatrically it doesn't work. I blame Weitz for that. That said, I liked Rob's acting MUCH BETTER in this film. I think Hardwicke let him and KStew get away with a lot of indulgences that Chris Weitz did not.
Yep, Alice's vision of Edward and Bella running slow-motion in the woods. Wide shot (without slow motion) into extreme closeup shot (slow motion) of Bella's topaz eyes as she looks back at Edward would have been better, IMHO. It's just weird to see a random medium-wide shot of people running in fancy, old-fashioned clothes in slow motion. Also, Rob runs weird. Sorry, Rob.
I'm sure I'm forgetting more than I'm saying, but we can discuss, yes? And if the things I didn't like seem nitpicky, that's because they are. I actually did enjoy the film quite a lot. :D
MEN NOT AFRAID TO CALL A HOT MAN HOT
Scene opens with Mr. and Mrs. Brat on the couch. A seemingly typical Saturday at home.
Mr. Brat (reading from the New York Times review of NM): "Jacob has secrets of his own that soon emerge, first in the form of some massive biceps." That's why I'M going to see it. That guy is HOT.
Brat laughs.
Mr. Brat: Every woman I work with says she's going to see this movie for Edward. And every guy I know says he's got to go see it with her. But they're really going to see it for Jacob.
Brat: What?
Mr. Brat: Well, he's been working out.
Brat: So let me get this straight. Men want to see New Moon for Jacob because he's been working out.
Mr. Brat: That and he looks like Raphael Nadal.
Brat: That's why you're in love with him.
Mr. Brat: Exactly.
Brat: I can see you, Jacob, and Rafa in a hotel room. Now THAT would be some fanfiction.
Mr. Brat: You mean fanFRICTION.
CURTAIN.
And here is my very random and sketchy review of New Moon. Watch out for spoilers!!
I cannot tell a lie: this film reminded me why I love RPattz the Twilight series.
Things I liked:
Chris Weitz. Overall I thought it was better directed than Twilight (sorry, Catherine Hardwicke!). More emotional truth in most of the scenes.
Jacob. That surprised me more than anyone. I actually liked Taylor's performance and finally bought that Bella might see him as a viable love interest. And yes, he has indeed been working out. Will say no more as he is still underage. ;) Also liked Quil and Embry; they were adorable actors, and the scenes with them were very funny.
Passion between Edward and Bella. Felt it. Very nice desire and restraint in the kissing scenes between Bella and Edward. I could FEEL the need and the frustration from both of them. YAY!!
New and improved Cullen vampire makeup and contact lenses. Loved that they actually looked otherworldly. Thought Edward was much more eerily handsome as opposed to pasty in this film, particularly when he's with the Volturi. Small issue: I'm guessing he has pale lips in that scene because he hasn't fed? If so, why are his eyes not black? Don't get me wrong, I love the pale amber lenses; they really make him look very un-human.
Victoria. I appreciated the reminder of why she was there (a problem in the book is that she's hardly a presence).
Vampire skillz. Liked the new way of showing Victoria's speed (no blurring motion at all as she ran through the forest, just really fast running) and Felix's strength (a sparing use of blurring into slow-motion precision).
Charlie. NGL, got a crush on that there daddy.
Jessica. When she and Bella leave the zombie movie she is so damn funny, and without sacrificing any of the realism of the scene. Love her.
Mike. Lord, that kid cracked me up. And great "sick" makeup. ;)
Alice. Adorable and gorgeous as always.
Jasper. Got a bit more of him in this film, and finally got to see his "gift" in action. And loved his delivery of his line when Bella calls for the vote at the end of the film.
The fight with the Volturi. THANK YOU, Melissa Rosenberg, for putting some ACTION into this relatively actionless climax!! And the humor throughout the entire film was well-placed.
Things I didn't like:
CGI wolves. I thought wolf!Jake's fight with wolf!Paul looked great from a choreography standpoint (snarling, rolling, flipping wolves). But anytime the wolves were relatively still, they looked kinda fake. Sorry, CGI people.
Lack of muscles in Quil and Embry. They were really cute guys (Embry especially); but when they had to run around shirtless, their bodies didn't match those of the other members of the pack. I guess it's hard to get it all when you're casting.
Jasper's ultra-upright posture. I think he was trying to reign himself in around Bella, and perhaps hearkening back to his Civil War officer posture ... but it looked affected to me. Sorry, Jackson.
Edward's droopiness. There should have been more of a contrast in Edward between pre- and post-birthday party disaster. Theatrically speaking, we need to see more of a high to appreciate the extreme low after the party. I know, in general Edward is waiting for the shoe to drop even before Jasper attacks. But theatrically it doesn't work. I blame Weitz for that. That said, I liked Rob's acting MUCH BETTER in this film. I think Hardwicke let him and KStew get away with a lot of indulgences that Chris Weitz did not.
Yep, Alice's vision of Edward and Bella running slow-motion in the woods. Wide shot (without slow motion) into extreme closeup shot (slow motion) of Bella's topaz eyes as she looks back at Edward would have been better, IMHO. It's just weird to see a random medium-wide shot of people running in fancy, old-fashioned clothes in slow motion. Also, Rob runs weird. Sorry, Rob.
I'm sure I'm forgetting more than I'm saying, but we can discuss, yes? And if the things I didn't like seem nitpicky, that's because they are. I actually did enjoy the film quite a lot. :D