Pre-surgery
Today it finally got to me. All of these months I've kept it to myself. If peopled asked "are you scared of your surgery?" I'd just say "yeah, a bit." But thats not the case. I am petrified. I didnt go to the paper drive today because I was scared. I am already a little sick and NEED to get better. It is cold and is supposed to rain today. If I get sick, they will cancel my surgery. If they cancel my surgery it will have to wait until summer. If it waits until summer, it will crush my dreams of being in Marching Chiefs, for my freshman year, atleast. It would make my first year at FSU a pain. I am scared, I cannot get sick. But its not only that, I think about the actual procedure, too. I can watch "Saw" and not be grossed out, because I know that it is fake, but I cannot watch medical shows. It is real. My surgery is real, so far, its been almost surreal to me. But now that it is less than 48 hours away, I know that it is real...I had a mental breakdown today. I need to stay mentally stable, otherwise recovery will be even harder. It is as much a mental game as it is physical. I am perfectly healthy, and will recover physically very fast, but unless I can gather myself up in the next couple days, I'm gonna be a mental mess. Its alright to be scared. I am brave. I have to be. I cant be a coward, otherwise this surgery wont be happening. Being brave isnt about not being scared though. Being brave IS being scared, but facing fear in the face and defeating it. I know that God will let me be alright, but sometimes that thought is hard to come by. I need to keep my mind occupied, otherwise it will wander again, like it did this morning, and I will break down again. I need to keep a good mentality. It is vital.
For all of you coming to visit me, you really have no idea what it means to me. Thank you very, very much for taking the time to drive to Orlando just for me. Here is a bit of information you will need, though. Before you come, call my moms cell phone: 1-386-793-9210. She will be expecting the calls, and will give you a time frame of when to come, so that you dont come and I'm passed out. I'd like to be awake to see you guys. And also, directions...for best results, go to map quest and have your starting location be your address, or where ever you are leaving from, and the end location be "601 E Rollins St, Orlando, FL 32803." There is a new wing of the hospial under construction, so if you see a bunch of construction, you're in the right place. Find a parking garage, and you're set. The first day or so after the surgery I will be in ICU (intensive care unit) and that has limited visiting hours, and besides, I'll probably be sleeping. Wednesday or after would be a better time to visit. Thank you again, all of you who will take the time out of your day to visit, it means the world to me.
I have no doubts that my surgery will be A ok, but all of the pre surgery anxiety has taken its toll. But I will be brave.
The next time most of you see me, I will be 3 inches taller, too! And in immense pain, but pain is only temporary.
I hope that all of your winter breaks are wonderful.
-Tom
For all of you coming to visit me, you really have no idea what it means to me. Thank you very, very much for taking the time to drive to Orlando just for me. Here is a bit of information you will need, though. Before you come, call my moms cell phone: 1-386-793-9210. She will be expecting the calls, and will give you a time frame of when to come, so that you dont come and I'm passed out. I'd like to be awake to see you guys. And also, directions...for best results, go to map quest and have your starting location be your address, or where ever you are leaving from, and the end location be "601 E Rollins St, Orlando, FL 32803." There is a new wing of the hospial under construction, so if you see a bunch of construction, you're in the right place. Find a parking garage, and you're set. The first day or so after the surgery I will be in ICU (intensive care unit) and that has limited visiting hours, and besides, I'll probably be sleeping. Wednesday or after would be a better time to visit. Thank you again, all of you who will take the time out of your day to visit, it means the world to me.
I have no doubts that my surgery will be A ok, but all of the pre surgery anxiety has taken its toll. But I will be brave.
The next time most of you see me, I will be 3 inches taller, too! And in immense pain, but pain is only temporary.
I hope that all of your winter breaks are wonderful.
-Tom