meh
I cannot wait until my surgery, well, more specifically, 6 months after my surgery.
I cannot, no matter how hard I try, do the things I used to be able to do. Its depressing me. Alot. Sometimes I just feel like crying, but I know I have to be stronger. I wish I could hold my tuba for the entire practice, but I just cant anymore. My back will snap in two. I didnt want to ask Josh to carry my tuba back, but I had to, It was just too much. That really meant alot to me, thanks Josh. I know that for 6 months after the surgery I wont be able to do anything, I cant have that. I need to be active, though, I need to feel like I'm a part of something. That's why I drive myself to almost throwing up, like I did today. I know I shouldnt but, it feels better than sitting out and not being a part of something I love. Just two more weeks then I can give my back a rest. I dunno if I should march sousa in the Christmas Parade. Maybe I can march mellophone again. I dunno. I wish my back was normal. Thanks for everyone who's there for me, you really dont know how much it means to me...
I cant wait to see you again! Just a few days after Christmas, I hope! I love you!
I cannot, no matter how hard I try, do the things I used to be able to do. Its depressing me. Alot. Sometimes I just feel like crying, but I know I have to be stronger. I wish I could hold my tuba for the entire practice, but I just cant anymore. My back will snap in two. I didnt want to ask Josh to carry my tuba back, but I had to, It was just too much. That really meant alot to me, thanks Josh. I know that for 6 months after the surgery I wont be able to do anything, I cant have that. I need to be active, though, I need to feel like I'm a part of something. That's why I drive myself to almost throwing up, like I did today. I know I shouldnt but, it feels better than sitting out and not being a part of something I love. Just two more weeks then I can give my back a rest. I dunno if I should march sousa in the Christmas Parade. Maybe I can march mellophone again. I dunno. I wish my back was normal. Thanks for everyone who's there for me, you really dont know how much it means to me...
I cant wait to see you again! Just a few days after Christmas, I hope! I love you!