You know you're a Tuba player when...
You Know You’re A Tuba Player When…
1. 4 lines bellow the staff is high for you.
2. Your worst nightmare is marching backwards with larger then life steps.
3. Holding a note for 10 measures straight is not a prop.
4. You laugh when flutes have trouble holding notes.
5. You’ve successfully finished reading war and peace 10 times while the clarinets were "tuning."
6. You can dance or do jazz hands to every song no matter how slow the song is.
7. You laugh when the flutes sit out to rest during band camp.
8. You dread when it rains at games and make a game plan for if you fall on the field.
9. Your worst nightmare is marching backwards with larger then life steps.
10. You have to ask someone to help you take off the bell.
11. Everyone else is wearing a helmet/hat and your stuck with the pimpish beret.
12. Your marching music is all down beats.
13. At the football games, no one sits behind you, because the bell blocks the peoples view.
14. You don't have to memorize your music in marching band because all you are doing is oom-pahing.
15. Your instrument weighs more than some of the flute players.
16. Whenever you do a 180 degree turn, the sousaphone does a 360.
17. Your instrument is taller than some people in your band.
18. It takes 3 color guard members to carry your instrument inside when you pass out.
19. Your favorite past time is sneaking water bottles onto peoples seats when they aren’t looking...so they sit on them.
20. When you make fun of Tony Hammond till ...forever, freaking loser.
21. Give out honorary Low Brass Player Privileges, such as being cool , and drinking with us.
22. You know you're a marching tuba player when someone giving you a back massage notices that your left shoulder muscles are larger than your right.
23. When seeing an eight note shocks you.
24. When you are walking with your instrument and EVERYONE stares and asks, "what's that?"
25. You shoulder indents where your right one goes straight.
26. You get pissed off when a trumpet cant keep their horn up.
27. If you don’t play anything shorter then a whole note in a song.
28. When the word melody is foreign to you.
29. While everyone else can put down the horn the minute you set drill you have to wait 5 minutes to make sure you don't have to quickly put it back on.
30. You idea of fun is going up to shorter band members with your sousa and putting the bell on their head.
31. Your idea of fun in band is to go behind unsuspecting flutes and splat a "low" b flat... just to see them freak out.
32. When the band director tells everyone to run back and reset for the block, and everyone wonders why you can run faster than most people even with the sousaphone on.
33. When you give your sousaphone to a larger band member and they squeal in pain.
34. When you give it to a smaller band member just for the hell of it.
35. Going higher than the trumpets.
36. The baritones laugh at you because the highest note you can play on the tuba is also their lowest note on the baritone.
37. When you laugh as a freshman comes up to you and tells you that the tuba bell looks like a huge penny.
38. Your conversations with the band director about the conditions of the sousas confuse the people around you.
39. You scare freshmen into staying in the tuba section by showing them the trumpet and saxophone music.
40. You sincerely call out to your tuba by a silly name like "Womanizer."
41. You laugh at the low C-natural fingering.
42. When other people put the bell on there head, and they swear that they can see things better.
43. The only people you associate with read bass clef music.
44. Your section is the first one to do a dance. . .then all the other sections make up a dance to mimic yours.
45. When the band director calls for a water break, you stay where you are because it takes too much energy to run to the sideline, take off your tuba, and get a drink of water, and be back to your first position in less than two minutes.
46. When the band director cares more about the welfare of your instrument than you.
47. You are the smallest section in the band. . .yet you can play louder than the entire trumpet section times twenty. . .with only one member from your section.
48. You constantly ask the flute section for backrubs.
49. People move for you.
50. You can make up a bass line to anything.
51. After every game, you’re a couple inches shorter.
52. Your left shoulder is very tough, while your right shoulder is extremely tender.
53. You hate when you have a 60 degree or higher slide, but you're still the best looking section during slides.
54. Somehow you're the first section everywhere. . .every time. . .no matter what.
55. Tuba perks.
56. Your band director probably switched you to tuba from another instrument because there weren't enough tubas.
57. If you did switch from another instrument, you're ashamed you ever played another instrument and consider mentioning it treason to your beloved tuba.
58. When you play a note so loud that you scare everyone and yourself.
59. You walk around telling others *while your wearing your sousa or tuba* “you wish you had equipment this big.”
60. You Have To Duck To Get Out of A Room.
Enough fun for tonight, back to physics...
Maybe.
-Tom
1. 4 lines bellow the staff is high for you.
2. Your worst nightmare is marching backwards with larger then life steps.
3. Holding a note for 10 measures straight is not a prop.
4. You laugh when flutes have trouble holding notes.
5. You’ve successfully finished reading war and peace 10 times while the clarinets were "tuning."
6. You can dance or do jazz hands to every song no matter how slow the song is.
7. You laugh when the flutes sit out to rest during band camp.
8. You dread when it rains at games and make a game plan for if you fall on the field.
9. Your worst nightmare is marching backwards with larger then life steps.
10. You have to ask someone to help you take off the bell.
11. Everyone else is wearing a helmet/hat and your stuck with the pimpish beret.
12. Your marching music is all down beats.
13. At the football games, no one sits behind you, because the bell blocks the peoples view.
14. You don't have to memorize your music in marching band because all you are doing is oom-pahing.
15. Your instrument weighs more than some of the flute players.
16. Whenever you do a 180 degree turn, the sousaphone does a 360.
17. Your instrument is taller than some people in your band.
18. It takes 3 color guard members to carry your instrument inside when you pass out.
19. Your favorite past time is sneaking water bottles onto peoples seats when they aren’t looking...so they sit on them.
20. When you make fun of Tony Hammond till ...forever, freaking loser.
21. Give out honorary Low Brass Player Privileges, such as being cool , and drinking with us.
22. You know you're a marching tuba player when someone giving you a back massage notices that your left shoulder muscles are larger than your right.
23. When seeing an eight note shocks you.
24. When you are walking with your instrument and EVERYONE stares and asks, "what's that?"
25. You shoulder indents where your right one goes straight.
26. You get pissed off when a trumpet cant keep their horn up.
27. If you don’t play anything shorter then a whole note in a song.
28. When the word melody is foreign to you.
29. While everyone else can put down the horn the minute you set drill you have to wait 5 minutes to make sure you don't have to quickly put it back on.
30. You idea of fun is going up to shorter band members with your sousa and putting the bell on their head.
31. Your idea of fun in band is to go behind unsuspecting flutes and splat a "low" b flat... just to see them freak out.
32. When the band director tells everyone to run back and reset for the block, and everyone wonders why you can run faster than most people even with the sousaphone on.
33. When you give your sousaphone to a larger band member and they squeal in pain.
34. When you give it to a smaller band member just for the hell of it.
35. Going higher than the trumpets.
36. The baritones laugh at you because the highest note you can play on the tuba is also their lowest note on the baritone.
37. When you laugh as a freshman comes up to you and tells you that the tuba bell looks like a huge penny.
38. Your conversations with the band director about the conditions of the sousas confuse the people around you.
39. You scare freshmen into staying in the tuba section by showing them the trumpet and saxophone music.
40. You sincerely call out to your tuba by a silly name like "Womanizer."
41. You laugh at the low C-natural fingering.
42. When other people put the bell on there head, and they swear that they can see things better.
43. The only people you associate with read bass clef music.
44. Your section is the first one to do a dance. . .then all the other sections make up a dance to mimic yours.
45. When the band director calls for a water break, you stay where you are because it takes too much energy to run to the sideline, take off your tuba, and get a drink of water, and be back to your first position in less than two minutes.
46. When the band director cares more about the welfare of your instrument than you.
47. You are the smallest section in the band. . .yet you can play louder than the entire trumpet section times twenty. . .with only one member from your section.
48. You constantly ask the flute section for backrubs.
49. People move for you.
50. You can make up a bass line to anything.
51. After every game, you’re a couple inches shorter.
52. Your left shoulder is very tough, while your right shoulder is extremely tender.
53. You hate when you have a 60 degree or higher slide, but you're still the best looking section during slides.
54. Somehow you're the first section everywhere. . .every time. . .no matter what.
55. Tuba perks.
56. Your band director probably switched you to tuba from another instrument because there weren't enough tubas.
57. If you did switch from another instrument, you're ashamed you ever played another instrument and consider mentioning it treason to your beloved tuba.
58. When you play a note so loud that you scare everyone and yourself.
59. You walk around telling others *while your wearing your sousa or tuba* “you wish you had equipment this big.”
60. You Have To Duck To Get Out of A Room.
Enough fun for tonight, back to physics...
Maybe.
-Tom