Wasted (Part 8)
Summary : For Cheekymice's funfic challenge. My prompt was "anorexia". This fanfic set in early first season, just after Thanksgiving and is AU.
Beta : I want to thank Helen C for betaing this fanfic and Beachtree for her help!
Disclaimers : The characters and the universe were created and are still owned by Josh Schwartz. (*glare*)
All mistakes are my personal property.
No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
-“Mr. Cohen, you can follow me to Dr. Meyers’s office,” informed a nurse.
Sandy stood up and hastily walked to the doctor’s office.
-“Take a seat,” greeted the doctor. “Well, Ryan’s gonna be okay, don’t worry. He’s got a kidney infection though and we’re gonna keep him overnight. His fever hasn’t broken yet and he’s dehydrated. We’re treating him with antibiotics and fluids. I talked with Dr. Hansen who had treated him last month. He wasn’t that surprised: kidney infection is a common consequence of anorexia.”
-“But Ryan eats properly, now.”
-“Yes, I’m sure he does. Now. But for a pretty long time he didn’t and his body remembers it. When he was admitted last month, his kidney weren’t functioning properly, so I’m not that surprised that he developed a kidney infection. I just wish he had told you earlier that he was in pain, we could have treated him sooner with less antibiotics,” explained the doctor.
-“He was in pain?”
-“Ryan’s kidney infection began with a cystitis, so yes, Mr. Cohen, he had to be in pain."
Sandy closed his eyes in defeat. The kid was in pain and didn’t tell them anything. He didn’t trust them enough to tell them when he hurt.
-“Don’t blame yourself. You’ve got a very stubborn son. I actually had to threaten him to get him confess that he was actually in pain,” explained the doctor. “He needs to rest and to drink much more than what he usually does. Even with his IV. We need to monitor closely his kidney functions.”
Sandy nodded.
-“Can I see him, now?”
-“Sure. Coleen? Would you show Mr. Cohen Ryan’s room, please?”
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Sandy tiptoed into the room and watched his foster son sleeping soundly, his hair feathered across his pale forehead.
-“How’s his fever?” asked a concerned Sandy. “He still looks very flushed,” he added while pushing Ryan’s sweat soaked hair off his forehead
-“When he was admitted he had a temperature of 103.4 and now it’s still elevated, but at 102,” explained the nurse.
Sandy sat down once then nurse left and pulled the chair close to Ryan’s bed before taking his foster son’s hand.
Ryan opened his eyes and gave him a weak smile.
“Hey.”
-“Hey, kid,” Sandy smiled reassuringly.
-“When am I going home?” asked Ryan.
-“You’ve got a kidney infection. They’re keeping you overnight and then you’ll go home.”
Ryan looked panicked.
-“Do I really need to stay?”
-“I’m afraid so, kid. They’re giving you fluids and antibiotics through this IV. But don’t worry, I’m staying with you and Kirsten is gonna come soon.”
Ryan shook his head.
-“You don’t have to stay, I’ll be fine.”
-“Kid, look at me…I am staying with you, there is no way I'll let you spend the night all by yourself in the hospital, okay? I wish you'd told us before you weren’t feeling okay,” added Sandy while stroking his foster son’s sweaty hair.
-“I thought it would pass,” whispered Ryan.
-“You should have told us something, Ryan,” answered Sandy softly.
-“I didn’t want to bother you, it wasn’t that painful.”
-“You don’t have to be the parent anymore, kid, we are the parents and when you don’t feel good, you’ve got to tell us so we can be the ones who decide if you need some Tylenol or a doctor. It's part of our job, you know,” explained Sandy. He smiled at Ryan before adding “I’m sure Seth can teach you the art of whining,” earning a faint smile from Ryan. “Kid, when are you gonna ask me for an extra blanket? You’re shivering!”
Sandy stood up and put a heavy blanket on Ryan.
-“Better?”
-“Yeah, thanks…”mumbled a drowsy Ryan before closing his eyes.
-“Get some sleep, kid, you’re gonna feel better when you wake up.”
Ryan slept soundly for a while and Sandy began to read the thick file he had brought with him until Ryan began shifting in the bed apparently uncomfortable.
-“Kid, calm down, do you need anything? You’re thirsty?”
-“Sandy?” Ryan asked, his eyes clouded and disoriented
-“Yes, Ryan. I’m here and Kirsten is coming soon,” answered quietly Sandy before wiping his face with the damp cloth the nurse had left.
-“Once I broke my ankle and got surgery… And Rick and my mom visited me in the hospital…Rick went to Texas…he was nice…Sandy…”
-“I’m here, kid,” answered Sandy while stroking gently Ryan’s hair.
-“She’s not gonna come back this time,” whispered Ryan.
-“I…I don’t think so, kid.” Sandy repressed the urge to phone Dawn, yell at her, then get her and put her sorry ass right on this chair. Right here, right now. And force her to talk to her son and explain to him that she loved him, that she’d always love him but that her own crappiness didn’t permit her to take good care of him.
Yeah, that would be useful and cathartic.
But since December Dawn and AJ had moved out and Sandy had no idea where she was.
Sandy kept on stroking Ryan’s hair softly trying to soothe the kid.
-“I think I miss her,” confessed Ryan whose voice was barely a sigh.
-“I am so sorry, kid. Ryan,” added Sandy feeling a lump grow in his throat.
-“She’s living with AJ and his kids. The boy’s about my age,” whispered Ryan while tears began to trickle out of the corners of his eyes. “Why isn’t she living with me?...”
For one of the first time of his life, Sandy was speechless.
-“I’d like her living with me...not always...I don’t want her to live with AJ...I want her to visit me...she wanted to rent a house in the numbered street...and now, she’s gone,” Ryan whispered, his eyes shut as another round of tears stream down his flushed cheeks.
Sandy slowly sat on Ryan’s bed and pulled the kid into a hug before stroking his hair softly.
-“Are you mad I miss her?” asked Ryan his voice filled with anxiety.
-“Kid, no. Of course, not. It’s your mom and it’s normal you miss her,” reassured Sandy feeling Ryan snuggling his face into his chest and relaxing slightly.
-“Trey says that it’s not.”
-“Trey can be wrong, you know. All men can be wrong sometimes. Well, except me,” answered Sandy jokingly before adding in a more serious tone “it’s totally normal that you miss your mom, Ryan and I’m so sorry I can’t get her now for you”.
Sandy felt Ryan nod and he maintained his embrace until Ryan’s eyes drooped closed and his breathing evened.
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Kirsten paused near the door of the pool house, stabilized the tray she was carrying and pushed the door open with one free hand. Ryan was fast asleep. They had taken him home the day before and Ryan had immediately crawled into bed and refused to take any food ever since. They had called his pediatrician and he had insisted that they had to feed him today.
Reluctant to wake him up since he looked exhausted, Kirsten quietly kneeled down and began to smooth her foster son’s hair.
-"Sweetie, wake up, please," she whispered, setting the tray on the bedside table.
Ryan's eyes fluttered but he remained motionless. Kirsten squeezed his shoulder gently. Ryan's eyes flew open, and he scanned the room from left to right, his eyes slowly settling on Kirsten. He tried to sit up, letting her help him.
-“How are you feeling?" she asked, the back of her hand lingering on his forehead, relieved to realize that it was cooler.
Ryan swallowed tiredly.
- "Better."
-“Your fever has gone down, I think it’s around 100, so you’re getting better,” confirmed Kirsten. “I’ve bought you some food.”
Ryan immediately frowned and shook his head.
-“I’m not hungry,” he replied while laying back down and curling himself into a ball.
-“Honey, you’ve got to eat something if you ever want to get better. It’s chicken soup and toasts, I didn’t cook it so it must be totally edible,” Kirsten tried to joke to hide her anxiety. She had been so sure that he was getting better and that his problems with food were definitely behind him. But Ryan shook his head and closed his eyes. Kirsten bit her lip and sat down on the bed. She tried to put her arm on Ryan’s shoulder and frowned when he flinched.
-“Ryan, what’s wrong?” she asked gently.
-“Nothing, I’m just not hungry and I wanna sleep,” whispered Ryan keeping his eyes tightly closed.
Kirsten watched attentively the kid to realize that his chin was quivering and that his so-called exhaustion was a way to shut her down. She stayed motionless, listening to Ryan’s shuddering breathing. She waited until Ryan’s breathing had calmed down as he had fallen asleep before exiting the poolhouse and entering the den where Sandy was working on a file.
-“Sandy, he won’t eat anything! Should I call Dr. Green? Should we hospitalize him again? He’s gonna be dehydrated and he hasn’t been eating for two days now. What are we supposed to do?” Kirsten. Asked frantically
-“Did he tell you why he didn’t want to eat?”
-“He told me he wasn’t hungry…but there’s more…Sandy, he looked so upset…he was on the verge of crying and since he’s not talking to me, I don’t know how to comfort him.”
Sandy looked up to see a worried-looking Kirsten unable to stop wringing her hands.
-“About the non hungry part, Mark told us that it was also because of the kidney infection, so we cannot be sure that it’s a relapse of his anorexia,” tried to rationalize Sandy. “Seth told us he sent Ryan to the infirmary because he was throwing up and shivering, maybe he’s still feeling nauseous.”
-“I’m getting him compazine and Mountain Dew, but…” Kirsten stopped talking and took a deep breath before saying “do you think we should try and get his mom?”
-“I know he’s missing her, but Dawn clearly doesn’t want to be found and knowing her, she would only hurt him more if the PI we hired managed to find her and her ‘brand new family’,” answered Sandy unable to hide the disgust he felt towards Dawn.
-“We should have talked about her a long time ago…how could we have believed that he wasn’t gonna miss his mother?” whispered Kirsten.
Sandy took his wife in an embrace.
-“I should have known that he was gonna miss her, » said Kirsten shakily. My mother wasn't perfect but I loved her. It's been years, and I still miss her… How could we not have realized that Ryan would miss Dawn? How could we have thought that offering him a new life would make everything better? …I should have realized that it wasn’t gonna be easy for him to live without his family…how can I have been so Newpsie, thinking that money was a way to make his life better per se?”
-“Don’t call my wife a Newpsie,” Sandy whispered while kissing Kirsten. “She’s so much better…Honey, blaming ourselves isn’t gonna help Ryan to get better.”
-“Are we really doing all we can to help him?” asked Kirsten with a shaking voice.
-“He’s made such progress in the last couple of weeks. The therapy is going well, Kirsten, and admitting that he’s missing his mother is a huge step for him. If the PI finds Dawn, I’ll try to talk to her and to convince her to get sober and nice to her son, but honestly, I don’t see that happening soon…”
Kirsten shook her head in disbelief: how could a mother abandon her own child? She grabbed the Mountain Dew and the compazine and went to the poolhouse with Sandy.
She gently sat down on the bed and began to brush through Ryan’s hair.
-“Sweetie, wake up, please!”
Ryan winced but opened his eyes and gingerly sat up while Sandy put some pillow behind his foster son’s back.
-“Are you nauseous, kid?” asked a concerned Sandy. Ryan was awfully pale and even if he looked less feverish than the day before, he didn’t seem to feel better. Ryan wiped his eyes and nodded.
- “I got you Mountain Dew and Compazine and we need to put something in your stomach because the pills you’re taking are probably making you worse on an empty stomach,” explained Kirsten.
Drawing his legs into his chest, Ryan wrapped his arms around his shins and buried his face into his knees. Kirsten and Sandy exchanged a concerned glance.
-“Ryan, what’s going on, talk to us…honey?”
Ryan shook his head and tightened his self-embrace.
Kirsten began to stroke his hair.
-“Ryan, honey, tell us what’s wrong…please…”
-“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine, just not hungry,” came the muffled answer.
-“Do you need the compazine, kid?”
Ryan looked up, winced and nodded before taking the two pills and swallowing them dry.
-“Ryan, you need to drink, okay? You’re pale and sweating, I’m pretty sure you’re hypoglycemic and that probably doesn’t help your nausea,” explained Sandy.
- “You don’t understand…”
-“What can’t we understand, kid? Asked Sandy softly.
-“I must not get sick.”
-“You’ve just taken compazine, sweetie, you’re not gonna get sick and even if you get sick…”
-“No!” snapped Ryan. “I promise I won’t get sick, I’m fine, I won’t create a mess, I promise…please let me stay, please…”
Sandy and Kirsten watched their foster son shakily bury his face into his knees.
-“Sweetie, calm down, everything’s okay,” soothed an astonished Kirsten. “You staying here is a permanent thing, whatever you do and especially if you get sick, honey. Lay down,” she gently ordered before asking Sandy to get a wet washcloth. Once Ryan laid down, his back propped by pillows, she began to wipe her foster son’s face, relieved to realize that he was relaxing slowly.
-“Are you feeling better, honey?”
Ryan nodded shyly before adding
-“Why are you doing this?”
-“What do you mean, honey?”
-“Why are you taking care of me? I am not even your son, I am a basket case, a useless brat, a…”
-“Hey, don’t call my foster son a brat!” Sandy interrupted with mock indignation, relieved when he saw Ryan smile a little. . “Because when someone insults people I love, especially my two children and my wife, I can become really mad, you know!”
-“My mom forced you to take me in,” whispered Ryan without daring looking up.
-“And I am so glad she did. I’m gonna tell you something important, honey. When you first came to live with us, my worst nightmare was that Seth would follow you somewhere and get hurt. I knew you were a good kid, I was thrilled that Seth got a friend as wonderful as you and I was happy you were living with us and that you were safe. But before you came, Seth never got out of his room except when he went to school or when he sailed. And I was so afraid that if he began to get out, to party with you, something terrible was gonna happen. And then the whole Donnie incident happened. When we got that call from the police, I realized that I wasn’t only worried about Seth. Honey, I was so worried about you. This night, I realized that now I had two children to worry about, two sons to care about and to love more than my own life…I know the papers we signed mentioned you as our ‘foster son’, but Ryan, sweetie, you are our son.”
-“And I don’t want you to consider yourself as a basket case or whatever you’re calling it, son,” added Sandy. “You had a problem and we are not going to pretend that it never happened. But you’ve made so much progress, we’re so proud of you and we will help you through this. We’ll be always here for you…even in the most embarrassing moment,” added Sandy with a devilish grin. “Next week, there is the teachers/parents meeting, and we will be there, beaming from pride. As soon as Dr. Green gives you the green light to play soccer again, I swear, we’ll be here cheering and clapping. When you graduate, I sure will yell your name and Kirsten is probably gonna faint from pride after crying for the entire ceremony and Seth and you are gonna die from embarrassment…I can’t wait,” Sandy concluded while wrapping his arm around his wife’s shoulder and playing fondly with Ryan’s hair.
- “I think I’d like to have some of your soup and maybe Mountain Dew, now,” Ryan announced while smiling slightly.
-“Sandy will give you Mountain Dew and I’m gonna reheat the soup,” announced Kirsten before standing up and facing two-broadly smiling faces. “I'm even sure I can do it!”