a walk in the park
i hope someday I'll get beyond being amazed at how easily people can pinpoint me as the root of their past unhappiness. Or maybe immaturity will rule forever and as i recall, no one held a gun to your head. if anything, the direction of this petty grudge holding should be pointed towards you.
maybe this is just the final way you have left to try to hurt me. or maybe by pretending that i'm some example of all that is wrong with humanity and that i'm not worth any simple respect from you, you're just continuing what you started long ago.
my opinion of you was never less than ideal, despite your overbearing and intruding lack of respect for us. my blame and my finger pointing is directed inward. i let you walk on me while you kept me around for comfort far too long. i had a dream of building something. you just needed someone to prop up your insecure and fragile existence.
i could take the angry path i suppose. claim you're a whore or a bitch or whatever other overused word. but anger isnt really a dominating emotion in my life anymore. neither is fear of not having your approval. what consumes me when thinking about you now is what your point is. you'd probably claim that i'm dead to you. so why play games with yourself? we all heal in different ways though, right? but changing the core of ourselves is a lifelong battle.
i accepted long ago that im the type that over analyzes everything. so these thoughts are surely no surprise to you. so, i guess you've won again, my dear.
you may think i look the same. but i promise you, who i was and who i am now are very far apart. while you've had your head in the sand, i realized that constant personal growth is the only way i can find the happiness i want out of life. so i ask questions without fear of the answer. i honestly evaluate who i am, what i've done, where i'm going, and the impact i have on those around me. and, you'll be happy to hear, im finally at a place where i can honestly say i have confidence in who i am. i wonder how if you'd be able to give an honest assessment of yourself, especially when considering you left me with nothing but lies.
as ive noted in the past, i am hurt, so i guess you can add that to your win column too. but this goes beyond romance and relationships. it hurts seeing someone you had so much respect for and held as a great example for everyone to follow turn out to be a nothing but a fake.
i wonder if its tearing you apart on the inside. all of the lies and fake smiles and pretending to be something youre simply not. or maybe you've become so good at lying to yourself that your fantasies have become what you interpret as reality.
but thanks for allowing me to spend a good hour of my night on self reflection. life has gotten so busy lately that its hard to squeeze in. love you. xoxo
maybe this is just the final way you have left to try to hurt me. or maybe by pretending that i'm some example of all that is wrong with humanity and that i'm not worth any simple respect from you, you're just continuing what you started long ago.
my opinion of you was never less than ideal, despite your overbearing and intruding lack of respect for us. my blame and my finger pointing is directed inward. i let you walk on me while you kept me around for comfort far too long. i had a dream of building something. you just needed someone to prop up your insecure and fragile existence.
i could take the angry path i suppose. claim you're a whore or a bitch or whatever other overused word. but anger isnt really a dominating emotion in my life anymore. neither is fear of not having your approval. what consumes me when thinking about you now is what your point is. you'd probably claim that i'm dead to you. so why play games with yourself? we all heal in different ways though, right? but changing the core of ourselves is a lifelong battle.
i accepted long ago that im the type that over analyzes everything. so these thoughts are surely no surprise to you. so, i guess you've won again, my dear.
you may think i look the same. but i promise you, who i was and who i am now are very far apart. while you've had your head in the sand, i realized that constant personal growth is the only way i can find the happiness i want out of life. so i ask questions without fear of the answer. i honestly evaluate who i am, what i've done, where i'm going, and the impact i have on those around me. and, you'll be happy to hear, im finally at a place where i can honestly say i have confidence in who i am. i wonder how if you'd be able to give an honest assessment of yourself, especially when considering you left me with nothing but lies.
as ive noted in the past, i am hurt, so i guess you can add that to your win column too. but this goes beyond romance and relationships. it hurts seeing someone you had so much respect for and held as a great example for everyone to follow turn out to be a nothing but a fake.
i wonder if its tearing you apart on the inside. all of the lies and fake smiles and pretending to be something youre simply not. or maybe you've become so good at lying to yourself that your fantasies have become what you interpret as reality.
but thanks for allowing me to spend a good hour of my night on self reflection. life has gotten so busy lately that its hard to squeeze in. love you. xoxo