They don't love you like I love you
Oh man, I need a backrub really badly. It's compounded by the "friends' girlfriends visiting and them getting some" factor of the past couple weeks. Geeze.
It's 2 am as I begin to write this. Tomorrow, we're going to Tallahassee to visit a national magnet lab, and we have to leave at 7:45 in the a.m.. I can't believe that we have to drive 2.5 hrs tomorrow and it's in 5.75 hrs and I have yet to go to bed. The thing is that afterwards, we are going to go to Panama City Beach, where we're going to camp out for 2 days, and I really just spent a while basically packing and organizing this trip (for 8 people! !!!) and getting food and blankets and tents etc together so that we can all go. I feel exhausted but happy. Yane and Berk are driving, so luckily we will all have air conditioning! Hooray!
Jason's girlfriend Kayla (whom I get along with swimmingly! I really like her) is visiting him, Wednesday to Wednesday, so she is camping with us. I really like her, she's cool. Tonight we decided to go swimming at lik e11:30 pm and we were just swimming and diving in the dark while sharing sex stories. It was fun. The boys came later and ruined it, cause they're all loud and the neighbors complained to the security guy.
I feel stupid sometimes. I feel like a lot of the people I work with here are a lot more brilliant than I am at chemistry. Sometimes I feel like my focus is entirely too scattered, like maybe if I just liekd something way more that anything else, I could focus on that, and be brilliant. But I don't have anything like that, I just read random shit, and learn about random things, and just spread myself everywhere, trying to know everything, and ultimately being unable to understand anything as well as I should. I'm not that good at math, I'm not that good at chemistry, I'm not a good artist, I can't write (but I sure as hell can read!). I can organize trips fairly well. Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead and become, like, a wedding planner or something. Own a small art gallery. Buy a bookstore. Marry rich and be idle and read a lot. When you're rich, it's okay to be lazy. When you're poor, you go to hell for being lazy. Or so they tell me.
I've been reading East of Eden. I first read the book when I was in 10th grade, it was required reading for my pre-ap lit class. Now that I'm rereading it, I feel like I understand it better. I love this novel. I think everyone should read it. It's ridiculously well-written and engrossing, enough so that I really just need to read more Steinbeck. Next on the reading list are Slaughterhouse Five and The Tale of Genji. I finally broke down and bought all three of these books, and honestly, I'm glad I did. I know that I don't read nearly fast enough, or with enough concentration, to ever be able to read Tale of Genji just through library rentals. But I think that the literary significance of the novel makes it a must-read, at least for me.
I'm exhausted. I feel like I should have gone to bed hours ago, but the realization is tempered with the knowledge that I wouldn't have been able to sleep even had I gone to bed early enough, so it's ok that I'm still up.
ack
It's 2 am as I begin to write this. Tomorrow, we're going to Tallahassee to visit a national magnet lab, and we have to leave at 7:45 in the a.m.. I can't believe that we have to drive 2.5 hrs tomorrow and it's in 5.75 hrs and I have yet to go to bed. The thing is that afterwards, we are going to go to Panama City Beach, where we're going to camp out for 2 days, and I really just spent a while basically packing and organizing this trip (for 8 people! !!!) and getting food and blankets and tents etc together so that we can all go. I feel exhausted but happy. Yane and Berk are driving, so luckily we will all have air conditioning! Hooray!
Jason's girlfriend Kayla (whom I get along with swimmingly! I really like her) is visiting him, Wednesday to Wednesday, so she is camping with us. I really like her, she's cool. Tonight we decided to go swimming at lik e11:30 pm and we were just swimming and diving in the dark while sharing sex stories. It was fun. The boys came later and ruined it, cause they're all loud and the neighbors complained to the security guy.
I feel stupid sometimes. I feel like a lot of the people I work with here are a lot more brilliant than I am at chemistry. Sometimes I feel like my focus is entirely too scattered, like maybe if I just liekd something way more that anything else, I could focus on that, and be brilliant. But I don't have anything like that, I just read random shit, and learn about random things, and just spread myself everywhere, trying to know everything, and ultimately being unable to understand anything as well as I should. I'm not that good at math, I'm not that good at chemistry, I'm not a good artist, I can't write (but I sure as hell can read!). I can organize trips fairly well. Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead and become, like, a wedding planner or something. Own a small art gallery. Buy a bookstore. Marry rich and be idle and read a lot. When you're rich, it's okay to be lazy. When you're poor, you go to hell for being lazy. Or so they tell me.
I've been reading East of Eden. I first read the book when I was in 10th grade, it was required reading for my pre-ap lit class. Now that I'm rereading it, I feel like I understand it better. I love this novel. I think everyone should read it. It's ridiculously well-written and engrossing, enough so that I really just need to read more Steinbeck. Next on the reading list are Slaughterhouse Five and The Tale of Genji. I finally broke down and bought all three of these books, and honestly, I'm glad I did. I know that I don't read nearly fast enough, or with enough concentration, to ever be able to read Tale of Genji just through library rentals. But I think that the literary significance of the novel makes it a must-read, at least for me.
I'm exhausted. I feel like I should have gone to bed hours ago, but the realization is tempered with the knowledge that I wouldn't have been able to sleep even had I gone to bed early enough, so it's ok that I'm still up.
ack