Librarian Jokes
Just stashing these on LJ fo no good reason other than that I can
Did you hear about the music librarian who got a job with the Philharmonic fixing up the music library? Her specialty was "baroque" music. If it wasn't baroque, she didn't fix it.
After reviewing an application for a library card, the librarian told the patron that he could not be issued a library card.
When the patron asked why he was being rejected, the librarian replied, "What do you think, we're crazy? You've listed your occupation as BOOKKEEPER!!"
Bumperstickers
LIBRARIANS ARE NOVEL LOVERS
LIBRARIANS DO IT BETWEEN THE COVERS
LIBRARIANS DO IT TO BOOST THEIR CIRCULATION
LIBRARIANS OVERDUE IT
"Librarians are the secret masters of the universe. They control all the information. Don't piss them off!" - Spider Robinson
"You see, I don't believe that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence. That's been our main reason for our policy of hiring wild animals as librarians." - quoted from Monty Python's Flying Circus
A teacher noticed one of her fifth graders reading a volume from the encyclopedia and asked the girl what she was reading so intently. "I'm reading about Egypt," the girl replied. The teacher remarked that she was impressed with the student's choice of reading matter. The girl looked up and said, "Well, you know I'm going to be a librarian. I need to know everything."
I'M ON A COMMITTEE!
Oh give me some pity, I'm on a committee,
Which means that from morning to night,
We attend, and amend, and contend, and defend
Without a conclusion in sight.
We confer and concur, we defer and demur,
And reiterate all of our thoughts.
We revise the agenda with frequent addenda,
And consider a load of reports.
We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose,
And the points of procedure are fun!
But though various notions are brought up as motions,
There's terribly little gets done.
We resolve and absolve, but we never dissolve,
Since it's out of the question for us.
What a shattering pity to end our committee,
Where else could we make such a fuss.
-- Author Unknown
Source-- Kitty's Daily Mews! http://www.katscratch.com
(Telephone call to reference desk)
Patron: "Can you tell me what the gestation period of the lemming is?"
Librarian: "Just a minute"
Patron: "Thanks very much"
Upon which the patron hung up.
-- Author Unknown
A patron walks into a library and asks the staff member behind the desk if she could tell him where the "self-help" area is.
She replied, "Of course I can, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?"
Did you hear about the music librarian who got a job with the Philharmonic fixing up the music library? Her specialty was "baroque" music. If it wasn't baroque, she didn't fix it.
After reviewing an application for a library card, the librarian told the patron that he could not be issued a library card.
When the patron asked why he was being rejected, the librarian replied, "What do you think, we're crazy? You've listed your occupation as BOOKKEEPER!!"
Bumperstickers
LIBRARIANS ARE NOVEL LOVERS
LIBRARIANS DO IT BETWEEN THE COVERS
LIBRARIANS DO IT TO BOOST THEIR CIRCULATION
LIBRARIANS OVERDUE IT
"Librarians are the secret masters of the universe. They control all the information. Don't piss them off!" - Spider Robinson
"You see, I don't believe that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence. That's been our main reason for our policy of hiring wild animals as librarians." - quoted from Monty Python's Flying Circus
A teacher noticed one of her fifth graders reading a volume from the encyclopedia and asked the girl what she was reading so intently. "I'm reading about Egypt," the girl replied. The teacher remarked that she was impressed with the student's choice of reading matter. The girl looked up and said, "Well, you know I'm going to be a librarian. I need to know everything."
I'M ON A COMMITTEE!
Oh give me some pity, I'm on a committee,
Which means that from morning to night,
We attend, and amend, and contend, and defend
Without a conclusion in sight.
We confer and concur, we defer and demur,
And reiterate all of our thoughts.
We revise the agenda with frequent addenda,
And consider a load of reports.
We compose and propose, we suppose and oppose,
And the points of procedure are fun!
But though various notions are brought up as motions,
There's terribly little gets done.
We resolve and absolve, but we never dissolve,
Since it's out of the question for us.
What a shattering pity to end our committee,
Where else could we make such a fuss.
-- Author Unknown
Source-- Kitty's Daily Mews! http://www.katscratch.com
(Telephone call to reference desk)
Patron: "Can you tell me what the gestation period of the lemming is?"
Librarian: "Just a minute"
Patron: "Thanks very much"
Upon which the patron hung up.
-- Author Unknown
A patron walks into a library and asks the staff member behind the desk if she could tell him where the "self-help" area is.
She replied, "Of course I can, but that would defeat the purpose, now wouldn't it?"