Self-restraint.
Well, I apologize to the few people who witnessed a rare (I think?) case of me being a bit of a drama-llama last night. Embarrassing!
I managed to keep from posting anything to my LJ (go me!) and I am feeling somewhat better today. Nothing for anyone to worry about, just been feeling like I've been giving myself a little too much freedom/leniency in some ways, and that I have to grow up a bit and be more responsible, and think more about the bigger picture and less about the immediate gratification.
Easier said than done, of course. I don't encounter self-doubt a lot, and when I do, it's pretty easy for me to down-play it and forget about it.
But anyways, last night was pretty horrible for me (relatively speaking - I certainly believe that my emotional well-being keeps me in better stead than a lot of people) and hopefully it was a warning that I won't forget too easily.
So, I think I have decided NOT to cancel my weekend plans, which were on the chopping block for a time. However, starting here and now I resolve to:
a) Pay more attention to my financial situation. I have been making way too much money for way too long to not be completely debt-free. This means mid- to long-range financial planning instead of daily hand-to-mouth, among other things.
b) Spend money more wisely, in keeping with the above. I am certainly more extravagant than I should be with my money, particularly when it comes to travel / food / entertainment expenses. Hopefully watching my finances more closely will also reveal a little more about what I actually DO with all of the money I spend - because I really only have a half-assed idea, to be honest.
c) Spend more time working on things that are "important" and less time gallivanting and socializing and frittering my life away - also in keeping with the above points. I have a million projects I could / should be working on. Working on those gives me a sense of accomplishment, as well as costing relatively little (since I already have everything that's needed for many of them) and also takes up time in which I might otherwise be spending money with no real lasting returns.
d) Focus on projects which will not only entertain or amuse me, but also ones that will build skills which I might find useful in other, important areas of my life - like work, future work, self-employment, etc. Case in point - found out today that the company I currently work for actually designs aftermarket body kits for vehicles! Vehicle styling design is something I've always been interested in, took a course in it a few years ago, I have all of the art materials needed to do it... just need practice! So I want to whip that out again and get good at it, start hanging some of my own work around the office, and see if it catches any eyes. :)
e) In general, when it comes to the various pleasures of the flesh, to be a little more conservative, instead of just diving right in.
That's it for now, thanks for listening... and/or sorry you actually read all that. :)
B.
I managed to keep from posting anything to my LJ (go me!) and I am feeling somewhat better today. Nothing for anyone to worry about, just been feeling like I've been giving myself a little too much freedom/leniency in some ways, and that I have to grow up a bit and be more responsible, and think more about the bigger picture and less about the immediate gratification.
Easier said than done, of course. I don't encounter self-doubt a lot, and when I do, it's pretty easy for me to down-play it and forget about it.
But anyways, last night was pretty horrible for me (relatively speaking - I certainly believe that my emotional well-being keeps me in better stead than a lot of people) and hopefully it was a warning that I won't forget too easily.
So, I think I have decided NOT to cancel my weekend plans, which were on the chopping block for a time. However, starting here and now I resolve to:
a) Pay more attention to my financial situation. I have been making way too much money for way too long to not be completely debt-free. This means mid- to long-range financial planning instead of daily hand-to-mouth, among other things.
b) Spend money more wisely, in keeping with the above. I am certainly more extravagant than I should be with my money, particularly when it comes to travel / food / entertainment expenses. Hopefully watching my finances more closely will also reveal a little more about what I actually DO with all of the money I spend - because I really only have a half-assed idea, to be honest.
c) Spend more time working on things that are "important" and less time gallivanting and socializing and frittering my life away - also in keeping with the above points. I have a million projects I could / should be working on. Working on those gives me a sense of accomplishment, as well as costing relatively little (since I already have everything that's needed for many of them) and also takes up time in which I might otherwise be spending money with no real lasting returns.
d) Focus on projects which will not only entertain or amuse me, but also ones that will build skills which I might find useful in other, important areas of my life - like work, future work, self-employment, etc. Case in point - found out today that the company I currently work for actually designs aftermarket body kits for vehicles! Vehicle styling design is something I've always been interested in, took a course in it a few years ago, I have all of the art materials needed to do it... just need practice! So I want to whip that out again and get good at it, start hanging some of my own work around the office, and see if it catches any eyes. :)
e) In general, when it comes to the various pleasures of the flesh, to be a little more conservative, instead of just diving right in.
That's it for now, thanks for listening... and/or sorry you actually read all that. :)
B.