The Wrath of God be upon Those who would presume to know His Will.
Well.
Normally I would assume that anyone claiming that the horrible events which have transpired in New Orleans recently are the act of a vengeful god upon a city of sin, to be a religious wing-nut; and to assume no one of real worth or consequence ACTUALLY believes that crap, and leave it at that.
However, a friend of mine recently came out to his mother, and in response/warning she had him read some article about how hurricane Katrina was sent by god to punish the gays and lesbians in the City of Sin, which was to host the 34th Annual Southern Decadence a few days later.
So... they're saying that God fucked up? I mean, He sent His minion "Katrina" 2 days before the event even started! Is He using some sort of outdated calendar that doesn't match up with ours? Did He just forget the date, maybe? Or perhaps He's not CLEVER enough to figure out our oh-so-complex human methods of keeping track of what happens on which days.
Either way, clearly our faulty God did SOMETHING wrong. Shame about all the God-fearing folk who were just packing up to leave the Evil City in protest of that weekend. And such a wasted opportunity, too! Had He got the date right, maybe waited for Sept 1 or so, there'd have be 100,000 faggots in New Orleans! Now THAT would have a been a clean sweep! That's over one half of 1 percent of all the gays in the U.S.! And only at the expense of the nearly half-million non-gay people living in New Orleans... not to mention all the good, God-loving people in Mississippi and Alabama! Amazing!
Oh, but wait! This is the 34th ANNUAL "Southern Decadence"! God must've just got the YEAR wrong... I mean, 33 years is a split second to God, right? I'm sure He just MISCALCULATED a bit. I hear He's not real good with MATH. I bet if He got it RIGHT back in 1972, He might have NIPPED THE WHOLE THING IN THE BUD on the right day!
Ah, but even if He had got the date AND year right, he didn't think out the logistics of the attack... I mean, the French Quarter, where most of the faggotry happens, was one of the LEAST damaged areas of the city! Maybe His AIM was off, I mean, he's an old bastard, touch of the palsy, it's hard to hit a bull's-eye every time. Or perhaps He forgot to account for the rotation of the Earth, or ocean-current factors or prevailing winds... I mean, these are pretty complex calculations, even for a GOD! Humans can't even figure them out accurately yet! Oh, unless it was that whole DATE problem... I imagine, due to Tectonic plate movement, New Orleans is not exactly where it was in 1972, when God probably INTENDED to whack the queers! He may not have noticed that the French Quarter shifted out of direct line-of-fire! (Or that it's on higher ground that some parts of the city!)
Yep, that God. Better luck next time, you Old Coot.
...
If I was God (and prove that I'm not!), I'd be fucking insulted. I hope those people who claim to know God's Will are punished on a scale consistent with God's clearly violent wrath at the innocents of New Orleans. Hate to see what He does to the REAL shitheads.
B.
Normally I would assume that anyone claiming that the horrible events which have transpired in New Orleans recently are the act of a vengeful god upon a city of sin, to be a religious wing-nut; and to assume no one of real worth or consequence ACTUALLY believes that crap, and leave it at that.
However, a friend of mine recently came out to his mother, and in response/warning she had him read some article about how hurricane Katrina was sent by god to punish the gays and lesbians in the City of Sin, which was to host the 34th Annual Southern Decadence a few days later.
So... they're saying that God fucked up? I mean, He sent His minion "Katrina" 2 days before the event even started! Is He using some sort of outdated calendar that doesn't match up with ours? Did He just forget the date, maybe? Or perhaps He's not CLEVER enough to figure out our oh-so-complex human methods of keeping track of what happens on which days.
Either way, clearly our faulty God did SOMETHING wrong. Shame about all the God-fearing folk who were just packing up to leave the Evil City in protest of that weekend. And such a wasted opportunity, too! Had He got the date right, maybe waited for Sept 1 or so, there'd have be 100,000 faggots in New Orleans! Now THAT would have a been a clean sweep! That's over one half of 1 percent of all the gays in the U.S.! And only at the expense of the nearly half-million non-gay people living in New Orleans... not to mention all the good, God-loving people in Mississippi and Alabama! Amazing!
Oh, but wait! This is the 34th ANNUAL "Southern Decadence"! God must've just got the YEAR wrong... I mean, 33 years is a split second to God, right? I'm sure He just MISCALCULATED a bit. I hear He's not real good with MATH. I bet if He got it RIGHT back in 1972, He might have NIPPED THE WHOLE THING IN THE BUD on the right day!
Ah, but even if He had got the date AND year right, he didn't think out the logistics of the attack... I mean, the French Quarter, where most of the faggotry happens, was one of the LEAST damaged areas of the city! Maybe His AIM was off, I mean, he's an old bastard, touch of the palsy, it's hard to hit a bull's-eye every time. Or perhaps He forgot to account for the rotation of the Earth, or ocean-current factors or prevailing winds... I mean, these are pretty complex calculations, even for a GOD! Humans can't even figure them out accurately yet! Oh, unless it was that whole DATE problem... I imagine, due to Tectonic plate movement, New Orleans is not exactly where it was in 1972, when God probably INTENDED to whack the queers! He may not have noticed that the French Quarter shifted out of direct line-of-fire! (Or that it's on higher ground that some parts of the city!)
Yep, that God. Better luck next time, you Old Coot.
...
If I was God (and prove that I'm not!), I'd be fucking insulted. I hope those people who claim to know God's Will are punished on a scale consistent with God's clearly violent wrath at the innocents of New Orleans. Hate to see what He does to the REAL shitheads.
B.