Fic- Remember
Title: Remember
Pairing: Jack/Ianto,
Rating: Adult- blood, gore, character death.
Spoilers: Mentions of events in Exit Wounds.
Summary: Jack will remember Ianto.
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: Despite the angst, there is also fluff in this. Comments, please!
“Ianto!” Jack calls out into the darkness. He can hear breathing, heavy and raspy. Seconds earlier, he’d heard the deep scream of a man in terrible pain.
“Ianto!” Jack calls again, panic edging into his voice. He hears a whimper, somewhere not too far off. He rushes forwards and there, on the dark, dank floor, is Ianto. Each breath is infected with a whimper of pain and they come faster and faster.
Jack kneels down beside Ianto, finds his clammy hand in the dim light and holds it firmly.
“Jack.” Ianto’s voice is a wheeze, barely even there. Jack can hear the panic and the pain in Ianto’s voice and it makes tears prick at Jack’s eyes. He can feel a sob rising in his throat but he pushes it down. Ianto needs him to be strong.
“It’s all right, Ianto. It’s all right. I’ve got you.”
“Jack,” Ianto wheezes again.
“I’m here,” Jack whispers, reaching out for Ianto.
He finds his stomach, blood and flesh spilling out of the wide wound. “God, Ianto,” Jack whimpers. There is too much blood and pieces of Ianto’s internal organs spilling out.
“Jack, I’m…sorry…” Ianto gasps. “I was…uh…too slow.”
Jack slips an arm beneath him, trying to hold the quivering body up off the damp concrete. “Hush, my beautiful boy, it’s gonna be all right.” He smoothes a hand over Ianto’s damp forehead, brushing away the soft curls. He kisses the soft flesh. “I’m gonna get you out of here, I promise.”
“No. No Jack. Too late now.”
“Ianto, you’re gonna be okay. I promise.”
“No, Jack. I can feel it. Jack, please, need to tell you something.”
“Tell me back at the hub, or tomorrow when we’re having a nice lie in together. You’re not dying. Promise.”
“Can’t promise. Please…Jack…need to…tell…you.”
Jack buries his head in Ianto’s neck, breathing him in. “No, Ianto. No, please."
Ianto’s fingers grip Jack’s arm as tight as his weak body will allow. “Look… at me…please.”
Jack pulls back just enough to look into Ianto’s blue-grey eyes. They are wet and dilated. He holds Ianto’s hand tightly, willing him, silently begging him to be all right.
Ianto’s eyes are bright and Jack thinks he looks peaceful, accepting of his end.
“Jack…remember…please remember.”
“I couldn’t ever forget you, Ianto.”
“Remember…” Ianto lets out a breath almost like a sigh. “Remember…I…l…Jack…I…love…you…”
Another breath escapes Ianto’s body and it is his last breath. Before Jack can speak, before he can even whisper what he wants to in the dark, the life is gone from his beautiful boy. Ianto’s eyes turn glassy and Jack knows he is dead.
“Ianto!” he shouts uselessly. He holds Ianto close, caring nothing for Ianto’s blood spilling onto his shirt. “Ianto! Please, come back, please!”
But there is nothing he can do. Ianto Jones, Jack’s most beautiful boy, is dead.
* * *
Jack jerks awake in the black room and for one blissful moment, he can’t remember why his face is wet with tears.
Then it all comes back.
“Ianto. Ianto!”
“Jack? What’s the matter?”
Ianto’s fingers stroke Jack’s cheek. “You’re crying. Did you have a bad dream?”
Jack looks at him, his Ianto, whole and alive and breathing in bed beside him.
“Yeah,” says Jack. He loops his arm around Ianto’s waist and pulls him close. “A really bad dream.”
Ianto settles his head on Jack’s strong chest. “You’ve been having a lot of bad dreams recently. More than me even. Are they about Tosh and Owen?”
“No, they’re…”
Ianto looks up at Jack, expectantly. “Jack?”
Jack looks back at him, squeezing him tight. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
Ianto half-sits, leaning on his elbow to look Jack square in the face. “You need to talk about it, Jack, otherwise it’ll never go away. That’s what you said about my dreams. You made me talk about them.”
“Ianto…”
“So, go on. Tell me.”
Jack settles his hand on Ianto’s waist, wanting to feel each breath. “It’s…just…it was about…losing you. It’ll happen one day.”
Ianto hooks a hand beneath Jack’s chin and looks hard into his eyes. “Jack, I am going to be with you until I die. I mean…if you want me.”
Jack holds him tight. “Of course I want you. I’d keep you forever if I could. But I can’t.”
Ianto smiles. “Keep me? Don’t forget, I’m not your pet, no matter what games we play.”
Jack smiles. “I know. But…”
Ianto places a finger on Jack’s lips to shush him. “Jack, everybody loses somebody they love to death. You can’t stop it. All you can do is make the most of having them while you do. That’s it. That’s all anybody can do. And Jack, when I do go, whether it’s saving the world or…an incident with a toaster, then afterwards, when you’ve grieved, I expect you to find happiness with somebody else.”
“Ianto…”
“It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as they make you happy. And I’ll be proud of you and happy to have had some sort of life with you.”
“I wish I could have a normal life with you, Ianto. Just…live…together, then die together.”
“You can have a life with me, then when I’m gone, you can move on and make someone else as happy as you’ve made me. That’s a wonderful thing to be able to do, Jack. Be grateful for it, hmm?”
Ianto pauses and strokes Jack’s cheek, gazing fondly at him. “And you’ll carry on saving the world. Again and again.”
“It’s so hard sometimes, Ianto, so hard to just keep going every day with no end in sight.”
“I know, Jack. That’s why you need somebody.”
“There’ll never be anybody else but you. There’ll never be another beautiful boy for me.”
Ianto grins. “Maybe you’ll find someone who’s easier to give a nickname to, somebody who’ll let you call them ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart’ or even ‘hot stuff’.”
Jack chuckles. “You are hot stuff though, even if you never let me call you that.”
Ianto grins. “I’d rather be your beautiful boy.”
Jack grins back. “You are. You always will be.” Jack’s face turns serious and he pulls Ianto into a kiss.
“Ianto, I want you to know, I’ll never forget you. I’ll always always remember you, my beautiful boy.”