Fic- Wounds
Title: Wounds
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Ratings: Adult - dark themes.
Spoilers: Series one and two.
Summary: Jack’s actions after Cyberwoman
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: Jack’s point of view of the events after Cyberwoman. Comments please!
“You execute her or I’ll execute you both.”
Jack’s own words echoed in his head as he watched Ianto. He’d meant it. It had been a long time since he’d felt such anger, or acted on it so much. Ianto’s fierce loyalty to this woman, now lying dead on the cold concrete, had unnerved Jack.
He could still feel that anger, like a hurricane inside him. He watched Ianto. The tears had stopped a little while ago. Now, Ianto was quiet. He lay down on the hard concrete with his arm around his girl’s bloody, unresponsive metal body. He was still, his shoulders stiff and his ragged breathing echoing round the basement.
This was the girl Ianto had betrayed them for. This was the girl he’d risked the whole world for. And Jack had killed her. How would Ianto ever forgive him for that?
Jack blinked. Why did he care if Ianto forgave him? Jack knew what he had to do. Ianto had compromised the security of the hub, risked the whole world. Jack needed to put a bullet in his brain. He should have done it before, when Ianto had refused to kill his girlfriend. But, well, everybody deserved to say goodbye to the person they loved. But now it was time.
He braced himself, then strode forwards. He stood over Ianto, letting his strength and power be obvious.
“Come on.”
Ianto looked up at him, blinked, then swallowed hard. He stumbled to his feet, straightened and looked Jack in the eye.
“I’m ready.” Ianto’s face was red and swollen from crying but his eyes were determined and his jaw was set.
Jack took his gun out of his holster and settled it in his hand. He looked back up at Ianto, whose eyes had closed. He was mouthing something.
“I’m sorry, Lisa.”
Jack swallowed. “Come on.”
He didn’t stop to see Ianto’s confusion, just turned and walked away, expecting Ianto to follow him. Ianto did.
Jack led him through corridors in the lower levels of the hub. There were many rooms in the hub and Jack knew them all. He led Ianto to one in particular. It was a cell, of a sort. It was a bare room, with a bench, a sink and a viewing hole in the locking door.
He led Ianto inside and pushed him down onto the bench. He gripped his gun tightly, looked down at Ianto, then turned and walked out, locking the door behind him.
He leaned against the door and let out a breath. He should have done it then. Why hadn’t he done it then?
He focused on his breathing. He could do this. He’d executed people before, for crimes such as this. It was necessary. He had to do it. He turned and peered through the viewer. Ianto was still sitting in the position Jack had pushed him into. He was gazing blankly into space. Maybe he didn’t want to live. Maybe he was ready to die. He had lost everything. Perhaps if Jack didn’t kill him, he’d go home and kill himself. Was it better for Jack to kill him with one clean shot to the head? He’d be dead before he realised.
But he was so young. His face was smooth and unlined. His eyes were wide and so blue, the eyes of a lost child.
But Ianto was an intelligent man. He’d known what he was doing. He was supposed to die. Jack’s predecessors would have had no problem with this task. Jack had executed people before, a long time ago never one of his own team though.
Jack knew he couldn’t do it. He was a long way from that man he’d been. Jack put his gun away. He needed to do something else.
He walked away, fetched what he needed and returned.
Ianto started as Jack entered the room and locked the door behind him. Ianto looked at his gun in the holster.
“Aren’t you going to do it?” His voice was flat.
Jack didn’t answer him. He placed the glass of water and two tablets down on the bench. “I’m giving you a choice. This pill is retcon and the other…will make you go to sleep and never wake up.”
“It’s not like you to use euphemisms, Captain.”
“Make you choice. Forget or die.”
Ianto snarled at him. “I won’t forget her. You can’t make me do that.”
“Then you know what your other choice is.”
Slowly, Ianto stood up and faced Jack, grim determination in his pained eyes. “You’re gonna have to shoot me.”
Jack swallowed. “You take the pill and your death will be easier.”
“I won’t kill myself. It’s a sin. You’re going to have to do the dirty work, Jack.”
Jack turned away. “Fine. Then you can stay in here until you make your choice.”
He turned and strode out, locking the door behind him.
Ianto could stay in there until he made his decision, one way or another. Jack didn’t care how long it took. Ianto was staying in that room until he made his decision.
* * *
“Jack, how long are you going to make him stay in there?” asked Tosh.
Jack, sitting at his desk, glanced up at the CCTV which showed the cell. Ianto was sitting in a corner, hugging his knees. He was still in his bloody suit and he hadn’t been given anything to eat. He hadn’t taken a drink. He hadn’t taken either pill. He’d just sat there. It had been fourteen hours.
“Until he makes his choice.”
“It’s torture, Jack. Think about what he must be going through. He’s just lost the woman he loves and you’ve just locked him up with his grief.”
Jack growled at her. “He betrayed us all, risked the safety of the whole planet. He’s lucky I haven’t put a bullet in his brain. I’m giving him a way to live.”
“By losing the woman he loved completely, making him forget her. That’s not right.”
Jack grunted and didn’t reply. Tosh left him and Jack went back to watching Ianto. He had to make this choice or Jack would make it for him.
* * *
Two days. It had been two days and Ianto had barely moved. Neither had Jack. Most of the time, he sat and watched him on the CCTV, or paced. He knew what he should do. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to go down there and end the situation with his gun.
Ianto’s head suddenly dropped to his knees and his shoulders began to shake. Jack pushed himself up and strode downstairs.
Ianto started when Jack entered the room. He looked up, his face streaked with tears.
Jack dropped a plastic bag at his feet.
“What…” Ianto started.
“Get up,” barked Jack.
Ianto stood slowly. Jack put the pills in his pocket, then picked up the glass of water. He tipped it out and refilled it at the sink. He thrust it towards Ianto.
“Drink.”
“I don’t want…”
“You don’t have a choice. Drink.”
Ianto drank slowly, swallowing with an effort. Jack waited until Ianto had drank it all, then took the glass from him.
“More?”
Ianto shook his head. “Why are you doing this?”
Jack didn’t answer. “Open the bag.”
Ianto did as he was told. He took out sweat pants and a t-shirt, soap, a flannel and a towel, toothpaste and a toothbrush. He stared at Jack.
“Clean up,” said Jack.
“And you’re going to just stand there?”
“Got it in one.”
Ianto frowned, then slowly began to take off his torn, sweaty and bloody suit. Jack watched him coolly as he stripped naked and washed at the sink. There was only cold water and Ianto shivered as he washed. As his skin became clean, Jack realised that there were little cuts up Ianto’s arms and some on his thighs. They looked fairly recent, maybe a couple of months old at the most. Where had they come from?
Ianto didn’t look at him, just dried himself, then dressed in the spare clothes. He cleaned his teeth, then looked at Jack.
“Well? Now I’m all sparkling clean, what are you going to do?”
“Hands behind your back.”
Ianto arched an eyebrow, then did as he was told. Jack took a short length of thin rope from his pocket, strode towards Ianto and tied his hands tightly behind his back. Ianto made a small noise of discomfort but Jack ignored him. He knew he’d tied him tight enough to hurt but not to cause any actual harm.
“Come on.” He took out his gun and pushed at Ianto’s back with it. “Move.”
Ianto began to walk. Jack marched him through the hub, right by the others, who stared at them. Ianto flushed but held his head high. Jack didn’t care that he was humiliating Ianto. Ianto deserved far worse for what he’d done. Jack didn’t know why he hadn’t inflicted what was deserved on Ianto.
The others didn’t say anything, just watched as Jack walked Ianto out of there. He took him to the SUV and shoved him into the front passenger seat. He buckled Ianto in, then began to drive. After a few minutes, Ianto spoke.
“Where are you hoping to stash my body then, Captain?”
“I’m not stashing it anywhere.”
“What is this then? You don’t want more blood on the hub floors?”
“Shut up, Jones, or I’ll gag you.”
Ianto fell silent and stared out of the window.
Jack didn’t want to hear his voice, didn’t want to have the confrontations anymore. He didn’t want to have to work this out. He wanted it all to go away. All he wanted was to be able to trust his team. First Suzie and now Ianto. Jack didn’t seem to be able to keep a team together.
He parked the car outside Ianto’s house. Ianto stared at him.
“What are you doing…”
“I told you to shut it,” Jack said and climbed out of the car.
He went round to the other side of the car. He wrenched open the door, seized Ianto by the elbow and dragged him out of the car.
The house was a small one. Jack had never been there before, though he had the front door key. He had access to the homes of all his team.
Keeping a tight hold on Ianto’s arm, Jack took him inside. The small house was bare and devoid of any hint about the person who lived there.
He took Ianto into the front room. In here, there was nothing but a couch, a coffee table and a few cardboard boxes.
He shoved Ianto down onto the couch and left him there.
“What are you doing?” Ianto asked as Jack went into the kitchen.
“I told you to be quiet,” Jack said as he went through Ianto’s fridge and cupboards, searching for some food. There was very little. Eventually, he found cornflakes and milk.
He took the bowl of cereal through to Ianto and placed it on the coffee table.
“You are going to eat. Then you are going to sleep. You will take some time and decide what you want to do.”
“I told you. I won’t kill myself and I won’t forget her.”
Jack looked at him. “Then your third option is to come back and work for me.”
“You’d want me to come back?”
“I can’t let you go free with your memories intact. So either, I shoot you or you work for me for the rest of your life, where I can keep an eye on you, make sure you’re not hiding any other dangerous creatures in the basement.”
Ianto looked away, blinking hard. “I won’t…”
“Well, excuse me if I don’t take your word for it. You’ve proven yourself to be an excellent liar.”
He strode forwards, grasped Ianto by the shoulders and jerked him forwards. Ianto made the smallest whimper of pain. Jack ignored him and roughly untied his hands. Part of him just wanted to beat Ianto, to hurt him in return for what he’d done. But another part of Jack wanted to look after him, to put this broken young man back together.
“Eat,” he said and waited until Ianto picked up the bowl and the spoon and began to eat.
“Eat and rest. I’ll be back later.” He felt Ianto’s eyes on him as he walked out.
As he let himself out of Ianto’s house, he touched the mark Ianto’s punch had left on his lip. Ianto’s anger had been so great. There was so much hurt inside him. Jack knew there was nothing he could do to hurt Ianto anymore than he was hurting already.
Jack left the house and returned to the hub. He would check on Ianto later.
* * *
Jack worked until eleven that night, then went to Ianto’s place to check on him. If he was asleep, he wouldn’t wake him. On his way, he stopped at a twenty four hour supermarket and bought some essential supplies for Ianto.
He let himself in. The lights were off, except for a faint light from the living room. there was Ianto, still in his clothes, lying on the couch with a lamp on, staring at a photograph of Lisa.
He glanced at Jack. “I don’t want you here.”
“Tough. I’m checking on you. I’ve brought you some food.” He took it all into the kitchen and put it away. When he came back, Ianto was sitting up, still clutching the photograph.
“I don’t need you to do this.”
“Have you eaten since I left?”
“No.”
“Have you slept?”
“No but…”
“Then you need me to do this.” He turned away. “Where’s your bedroom?”
“Upstairs. But I don’t want to sleep up there.”
“Why not?”
Ianto didn’t look at him. “I just don’t.”
“Right, I’ll make a bed for you down here.”
Ianto protested but Jack ignored him. He went upstairs and found the bedroom. There were only two rooms upstairs, a bathroom and a bedroom. The king sized bed was the neatest bed he’d ever seen. It looked like it hadn’t been slept in for a long time. Jack checked through Ianto’s chest of drawers and managed to find pyjamas and clean underwear. He took them, a blanket and a pillow back downstairs.
“Here we go,” he said, setting up the pillow and blanket on the couch and passing the pyjamas to Ianto.
Ianto stared at him. “You’re not right in the head.”
Jack raised his eyebrow and smiled. “Oh?”
Ianto held his gaze. “You should be beating me or shooting me in the head. Instead, you’re buying me food, bringing me my pyjamas and tucking me into bed.”
Jack shrugged and grinned. “Well, you won’t be getting a bedtime story, I can assure you.”
Ianto shook his head and kept on staring. “I don’t get you.”
“Don’t try to. Just do as you’re told.”
Ianto blinked at him.
Jack carried on. “Right. I want you to wash, put your pyjamas on, have something to eat, then get some sleep. I’ll come and see you in the morning.”
“I don’t need you to.”
“I told you, I’m keeping an eye on you. Now get some rest.”
* * *
Jack checked on Ianto at least once a day, making sure he ate and slept and washed. Ianto’s moods shifted. Sometimes, he was yelled and threw things; sometimes he sobbed; sometimes he just sat and stared and Jack couldn’t get him to do anything.
Then, after nearly two weeks, he arrived late at night to find Ianto sitting on his couch, holding a cushion tight. He wasn’t crying, or staring blankly. His eyes were closed.
Carefully, Jack sat down beside him. “You okay?”
Ianto breathed unsteadily and didn’t look at Jack. “She died in London, didn’t she?”
Jack tried not to breathe too hard. “Yeah, she did,” he whispered, not to unsettle Ianto.
“It was all…wasted, wasn’t it?”
Jack didn’t reply, just let Ianto talk.
“I pulled her out. There were fires and the walls were falling but I dragged her out. I kept her alive. I brought her to Cardiff. I got her into the hub. I did everything, risked everything for her and she was dead already. It was all a waste of time.”
“Why did you do it?”
“’Cause I loved her. I would have done anything for her, anything. She…she saved me from all this…pain in my life. I…should have been able to save her.”
“There was nothing you can do.” Jack placed his hand on Ianto’s arm but Ianto stiffened so Jack pulled back.
Silence fell between them for a few minutes, then Ianto turned towards Jack. “I want to come back to work.”
Jack nodded. “Is that your choice?”
“It’s the only thing I can do. I won’t forget her. It’s a sin to kill myself and you won’t shoot me.”
Jack considered him. “Do you think you’re ready?”
“I can’t stand it here, Jack. It’s driving me mad.”
“Then go out. Go walking. Go shopping. Anything, just find yourself a life.”
Ianto picked at an imaginary thread on his cushion. “Torchwood is all I have.”
Jack looked at him. It seemed too soon. But Ianto wanted to come back and it would be easier to keep an eye on Ianto if he was at the hub.
He nodded. “Okay, on Monday you can come back, if I see you’re eating and sleeping and taking care of yourself.”
Ianto nodded. “Thank you.”
* * *
It was Sunday night and Jack left Ianto’s place feeling satisfied. Although still refusing to sleep in his bedroom, Ianto was sleeping. It was a fight to get him to eat much but he was eating a bit and he was coping. He would be back to work in the morning.
He knew his decision was unpopular. Both Gwen and Tosh were worried that it was too soon for him to come back to work and Owen reckoned he should have had a bullet in his head.
But Jack was certain now that this was the right thing to do. If Torchwood was all Ianto had left, Jack couldn’t take it away from him.
* * *
Jack stood in the conference room, Gwen by his side. Ianto walked into the hub and looked up at Jack. They shared a look, then Ianto got on with his work.
“You’d never have shot him. Not really,” said Gwen.
“Wouldn’t I?” Jack considered that question as he watched Ianto move around the hub, cleaning up. Logic told him he should have shot him but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. And now Ianto was back on the team, just as before.
After Gwen had left, Jack kept watching Ianto. He watched as he cleaned up in a slow methodical manner. He seemed so alone. Jack didn’t know how to help him.
As he watched, he noticed Tosh was also watching Ianto. As Ianto took coffee round, she was the only one who looked at him and thanked him. He didn’t smile or speak in return but the tension in his body seemed to ease a little. Yes, if Jack and Tosh looked after Ianto, they could help him. With the support of his friends, he would be all right.
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Ratings: Adult - dark themes.
Spoilers: Series one and two.
Summary: Jack’s actions after Cyberwoman
Disclaimers: I own nothing!
Notes: Jack’s point of view of the events after Cyberwoman. Comments please!
“You execute her or I’ll execute you both.”
Jack’s own words echoed in his head as he watched Ianto. He’d meant it. It had been a long time since he’d felt such anger, or acted on it so much. Ianto’s fierce loyalty to this woman, now lying dead on the cold concrete, had unnerved Jack.
He could still feel that anger, like a hurricane inside him. He watched Ianto. The tears had stopped a little while ago. Now, Ianto was quiet. He lay down on the hard concrete with his arm around his girl’s bloody, unresponsive metal body. He was still, his shoulders stiff and his ragged breathing echoing round the basement.
This was the girl Ianto had betrayed them for. This was the girl he’d risked the whole world for. And Jack had killed her. How would Ianto ever forgive him for that?
Jack blinked. Why did he care if Ianto forgave him? Jack knew what he had to do. Ianto had compromised the security of the hub, risked the whole world. Jack needed to put a bullet in his brain. He should have done it before, when Ianto had refused to kill his girlfriend. But, well, everybody deserved to say goodbye to the person they loved. But now it was time.
He braced himself, then strode forwards. He stood over Ianto, letting his strength and power be obvious.
“Come on.”
Ianto looked up at him, blinked, then swallowed hard. He stumbled to his feet, straightened and looked Jack in the eye.
“I’m ready.” Ianto’s face was red and swollen from crying but his eyes were determined and his jaw was set.
Jack took his gun out of his holster and settled it in his hand. He looked back up at Ianto, whose eyes had closed. He was mouthing something.
“I’m sorry, Lisa.”
Jack swallowed. “Come on.”
He didn’t stop to see Ianto’s confusion, just turned and walked away, expecting Ianto to follow him. Ianto did.
Jack led him through corridors in the lower levels of the hub. There were many rooms in the hub and Jack knew them all. He led Ianto to one in particular. It was a cell, of a sort. It was a bare room, with a bench, a sink and a viewing hole in the locking door.
He led Ianto inside and pushed him down onto the bench. He gripped his gun tightly, looked down at Ianto, then turned and walked out, locking the door behind him.
He leaned against the door and let out a breath. He should have done it then. Why hadn’t he done it then?
He focused on his breathing. He could do this. He’d executed people before, for crimes such as this. It was necessary. He had to do it. He turned and peered through the viewer. Ianto was still sitting in the position Jack had pushed him into. He was gazing blankly into space. Maybe he didn’t want to live. Maybe he was ready to die. He had lost everything. Perhaps if Jack didn’t kill him, he’d go home and kill himself. Was it better for Jack to kill him with one clean shot to the head? He’d be dead before he realised.
But he was so young. His face was smooth and unlined. His eyes were wide and so blue, the eyes of a lost child.
But Ianto was an intelligent man. He’d known what he was doing. He was supposed to die. Jack’s predecessors would have had no problem with this task. Jack had executed people before, a long time ago never one of his own team though.
Jack knew he couldn’t do it. He was a long way from that man he’d been. Jack put his gun away. He needed to do something else.
He walked away, fetched what he needed and returned.
Ianto started as Jack entered the room and locked the door behind him. Ianto looked at his gun in the holster.
“Aren’t you going to do it?” His voice was flat.
Jack didn’t answer him. He placed the glass of water and two tablets down on the bench. “I’m giving you a choice. This pill is retcon and the other…will make you go to sleep and never wake up.”
“It’s not like you to use euphemisms, Captain.”
“Make you choice. Forget or die.”
Ianto snarled at him. “I won’t forget her. You can’t make me do that.”
“Then you know what your other choice is.”
Slowly, Ianto stood up and faced Jack, grim determination in his pained eyes. “You’re gonna have to shoot me.”
Jack swallowed. “You take the pill and your death will be easier.”
“I won’t kill myself. It’s a sin. You’re going to have to do the dirty work, Jack.”
Jack turned away. “Fine. Then you can stay in here until you make your choice.”
He turned and strode out, locking the door behind him.
Ianto could stay in there until he made his decision, one way or another. Jack didn’t care how long it took. Ianto was staying in that room until he made his decision.
* * *
“Jack, how long are you going to make him stay in there?” asked Tosh.
Jack, sitting at his desk, glanced up at the CCTV which showed the cell. Ianto was sitting in a corner, hugging his knees. He was still in his bloody suit and he hadn’t been given anything to eat. He hadn’t taken a drink. He hadn’t taken either pill. He’d just sat there. It had been fourteen hours.
“Until he makes his choice.”
“It’s torture, Jack. Think about what he must be going through. He’s just lost the woman he loves and you’ve just locked him up with his grief.”
Jack growled at her. “He betrayed us all, risked the safety of the whole planet. He’s lucky I haven’t put a bullet in his brain. I’m giving him a way to live.”
“By losing the woman he loved completely, making him forget her. That’s not right.”
Jack grunted and didn’t reply. Tosh left him and Jack went back to watching Ianto. He had to make this choice or Jack would make it for him.
* * *
Two days. It had been two days and Ianto had barely moved. Neither had Jack. Most of the time, he sat and watched him on the CCTV, or paced. He knew what he should do. But he hadn’t been able to bring himself to go down there and end the situation with his gun.
Ianto’s head suddenly dropped to his knees and his shoulders began to shake. Jack pushed himself up and strode downstairs.
Ianto started when Jack entered the room. He looked up, his face streaked with tears.
Jack dropped a plastic bag at his feet.
“What…” Ianto started.
“Get up,” barked Jack.
Ianto stood slowly. Jack put the pills in his pocket, then picked up the glass of water. He tipped it out and refilled it at the sink. He thrust it towards Ianto.
“Drink.”
“I don’t want…”
“You don’t have a choice. Drink.”
Ianto drank slowly, swallowing with an effort. Jack waited until Ianto had drank it all, then took the glass from him.
“More?”
Ianto shook his head. “Why are you doing this?”
Jack didn’t answer. “Open the bag.”
Ianto did as he was told. He took out sweat pants and a t-shirt, soap, a flannel and a towel, toothpaste and a toothbrush. He stared at Jack.
“Clean up,” said Jack.
“And you’re going to just stand there?”
“Got it in one.”
Ianto frowned, then slowly began to take off his torn, sweaty and bloody suit. Jack watched him coolly as he stripped naked and washed at the sink. There was only cold water and Ianto shivered as he washed. As his skin became clean, Jack realised that there were little cuts up Ianto’s arms and some on his thighs. They looked fairly recent, maybe a couple of months old at the most. Where had they come from?
Ianto didn’t look at him, just dried himself, then dressed in the spare clothes. He cleaned his teeth, then looked at Jack.
“Well? Now I’m all sparkling clean, what are you going to do?”
“Hands behind your back.”
Ianto arched an eyebrow, then did as he was told. Jack took a short length of thin rope from his pocket, strode towards Ianto and tied his hands tightly behind his back. Ianto made a small noise of discomfort but Jack ignored him. He knew he’d tied him tight enough to hurt but not to cause any actual harm.
“Come on.” He took out his gun and pushed at Ianto’s back with it. “Move.”
Ianto began to walk. Jack marched him through the hub, right by the others, who stared at them. Ianto flushed but held his head high. Jack didn’t care that he was humiliating Ianto. Ianto deserved far worse for what he’d done. Jack didn’t know why he hadn’t inflicted what was deserved on Ianto.
The others didn’t say anything, just watched as Jack walked Ianto out of there. He took him to the SUV and shoved him into the front passenger seat. He buckled Ianto in, then began to drive. After a few minutes, Ianto spoke.
“Where are you hoping to stash my body then, Captain?”
“I’m not stashing it anywhere.”
“What is this then? You don’t want more blood on the hub floors?”
“Shut up, Jones, or I’ll gag you.”
Ianto fell silent and stared out of the window.
Jack didn’t want to hear his voice, didn’t want to have the confrontations anymore. He didn’t want to have to work this out. He wanted it all to go away. All he wanted was to be able to trust his team. First Suzie and now Ianto. Jack didn’t seem to be able to keep a team together.
He parked the car outside Ianto’s house. Ianto stared at him.
“What are you doing…”
“I told you to shut it,” Jack said and climbed out of the car.
He went round to the other side of the car. He wrenched open the door, seized Ianto by the elbow and dragged him out of the car.
The house was a small one. Jack had never been there before, though he had the front door key. He had access to the homes of all his team.
Keeping a tight hold on Ianto’s arm, Jack took him inside. The small house was bare and devoid of any hint about the person who lived there.
He took Ianto into the front room. In here, there was nothing but a couch, a coffee table and a few cardboard boxes.
He shoved Ianto down onto the couch and left him there.
“What are you doing?” Ianto asked as Jack went into the kitchen.
“I told you to be quiet,” Jack said as he went through Ianto’s fridge and cupboards, searching for some food. There was very little. Eventually, he found cornflakes and milk.
He took the bowl of cereal through to Ianto and placed it on the coffee table.
“You are going to eat. Then you are going to sleep. You will take some time and decide what you want to do.”
“I told you. I won’t kill myself and I won’t forget her.”
Jack looked at him. “Then your third option is to come back and work for me.”
“You’d want me to come back?”
“I can’t let you go free with your memories intact. So either, I shoot you or you work for me for the rest of your life, where I can keep an eye on you, make sure you’re not hiding any other dangerous creatures in the basement.”
Ianto looked away, blinking hard. “I won’t…”
“Well, excuse me if I don’t take your word for it. You’ve proven yourself to be an excellent liar.”
He strode forwards, grasped Ianto by the shoulders and jerked him forwards. Ianto made the smallest whimper of pain. Jack ignored him and roughly untied his hands. Part of him just wanted to beat Ianto, to hurt him in return for what he’d done. But another part of Jack wanted to look after him, to put this broken young man back together.
“Eat,” he said and waited until Ianto picked up the bowl and the spoon and began to eat.
“Eat and rest. I’ll be back later.” He felt Ianto’s eyes on him as he walked out.
As he let himself out of Ianto’s house, he touched the mark Ianto’s punch had left on his lip. Ianto’s anger had been so great. There was so much hurt inside him. Jack knew there was nothing he could do to hurt Ianto anymore than he was hurting already.
Jack left the house and returned to the hub. He would check on Ianto later.
* * *
Jack worked until eleven that night, then went to Ianto’s place to check on him. If he was asleep, he wouldn’t wake him. On his way, he stopped at a twenty four hour supermarket and bought some essential supplies for Ianto.
He let himself in. The lights were off, except for a faint light from the living room. there was Ianto, still in his clothes, lying on the couch with a lamp on, staring at a photograph of Lisa.
He glanced at Jack. “I don’t want you here.”
“Tough. I’m checking on you. I’ve brought you some food.” He took it all into the kitchen and put it away. When he came back, Ianto was sitting up, still clutching the photograph.
“I don’t need you to do this.”
“Have you eaten since I left?”
“No.”
“Have you slept?”
“No but…”
“Then you need me to do this.” He turned away. “Where’s your bedroom?”
“Upstairs. But I don’t want to sleep up there.”
“Why not?”
Ianto didn’t look at him. “I just don’t.”
“Right, I’ll make a bed for you down here.”
Ianto protested but Jack ignored him. He went upstairs and found the bedroom. There were only two rooms upstairs, a bathroom and a bedroom. The king sized bed was the neatest bed he’d ever seen. It looked like it hadn’t been slept in for a long time. Jack checked through Ianto’s chest of drawers and managed to find pyjamas and clean underwear. He took them, a blanket and a pillow back downstairs.
“Here we go,” he said, setting up the pillow and blanket on the couch and passing the pyjamas to Ianto.
Ianto stared at him. “You’re not right in the head.”
Jack raised his eyebrow and smiled. “Oh?”
Ianto held his gaze. “You should be beating me or shooting me in the head. Instead, you’re buying me food, bringing me my pyjamas and tucking me into bed.”
Jack shrugged and grinned. “Well, you won’t be getting a bedtime story, I can assure you.”
Ianto shook his head and kept on staring. “I don’t get you.”
“Don’t try to. Just do as you’re told.”
Ianto blinked at him.
Jack carried on. “Right. I want you to wash, put your pyjamas on, have something to eat, then get some sleep. I’ll come and see you in the morning.”
“I don’t need you to.”
“I told you, I’m keeping an eye on you. Now get some rest.”
* * *
Jack checked on Ianto at least once a day, making sure he ate and slept and washed. Ianto’s moods shifted. Sometimes, he was yelled and threw things; sometimes he sobbed; sometimes he just sat and stared and Jack couldn’t get him to do anything.
Then, after nearly two weeks, he arrived late at night to find Ianto sitting on his couch, holding a cushion tight. He wasn’t crying, or staring blankly. His eyes were closed.
Carefully, Jack sat down beside him. “You okay?”
Ianto breathed unsteadily and didn’t look at Jack. “She died in London, didn’t she?”
Jack tried not to breathe too hard. “Yeah, she did,” he whispered, not to unsettle Ianto.
“It was all…wasted, wasn’t it?”
Jack didn’t reply, just let Ianto talk.
“I pulled her out. There were fires and the walls were falling but I dragged her out. I kept her alive. I brought her to Cardiff. I got her into the hub. I did everything, risked everything for her and she was dead already. It was all a waste of time.”
“Why did you do it?”
“’Cause I loved her. I would have done anything for her, anything. She…she saved me from all this…pain in my life. I…should have been able to save her.”
“There was nothing you can do.” Jack placed his hand on Ianto’s arm but Ianto stiffened so Jack pulled back.
Silence fell between them for a few minutes, then Ianto turned towards Jack. “I want to come back to work.”
Jack nodded. “Is that your choice?”
“It’s the only thing I can do. I won’t forget her. It’s a sin to kill myself and you won’t shoot me.”
Jack considered him. “Do you think you’re ready?”
“I can’t stand it here, Jack. It’s driving me mad.”
“Then go out. Go walking. Go shopping. Anything, just find yourself a life.”
Ianto picked at an imaginary thread on his cushion. “Torchwood is all I have.”
Jack looked at him. It seemed too soon. But Ianto wanted to come back and it would be easier to keep an eye on Ianto if he was at the hub.
He nodded. “Okay, on Monday you can come back, if I see you’re eating and sleeping and taking care of yourself.”
Ianto nodded. “Thank you.”
* * *
It was Sunday night and Jack left Ianto’s place feeling satisfied. Although still refusing to sleep in his bedroom, Ianto was sleeping. It was a fight to get him to eat much but he was eating a bit and he was coping. He would be back to work in the morning.
He knew his decision was unpopular. Both Gwen and Tosh were worried that it was too soon for him to come back to work and Owen reckoned he should have had a bullet in his head.
But Jack was certain now that this was the right thing to do. If Torchwood was all Ianto had left, Jack couldn’t take it away from him.
* * *
Jack stood in the conference room, Gwen by his side. Ianto walked into the hub and looked up at Jack. They shared a look, then Ianto got on with his work.
“You’d never have shot him. Not really,” said Gwen.
“Wouldn’t I?” Jack considered that question as he watched Ianto move around the hub, cleaning up. Logic told him he should have shot him but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. And now Ianto was back on the team, just as before.
After Gwen had left, Jack kept watching Ianto. He watched as he cleaned up in a slow methodical manner. He seemed so alone. Jack didn’t know how to help him.
As he watched, he noticed Tosh was also watching Ianto. As Ianto took coffee round, she was the only one who looked at him and thanked him. He didn’t smile or speak in return but the tension in his body seemed to ease a little. Yes, if Jack and Tosh looked after Ianto, they could help him. With the support of his friends, he would be all right.