July 25 -- Built up, torn down
Dear Diary,
I would just like to state here, categorically and for the record, that if Wilhiem gets his ass kicked and destroyed for being undead (not Forsaken) and in Stormwind, it's his own damn fault. This isn't exactly a secret one should be keeping, and if he absolutely must unlive in Stormwind, he should at least try to pass himself off as a Death Knight. Much easier.
Because, I swear, if I get one more hurricane from someone finding out--from me, or from anyone else--about his "condition," I am going to scream.
Years ago, it was easy to hate them (the undead, I mean) for what they were, but when you realize that the rotting corpses you despised were your neighbors, your friends, the people you saw in church every week, it gets more difficult. Can you really hate them for something that wasn't their fault? Can you really hate them or do you hate those who went willingly and the Lich King himself? And I choose to do the latter. Some people (Chadley among them) hate the walking dead because they won't simply kill themselves, but would any of us have the strength to do as much in that position?
I don't think we would.
That said (and I'm the last person to talk of this, I know. I should talk to Chadley), dishonesty is just as bad, and the longer a person is dishonest about who or what they are with the people they love, the more likely it is that they'll be crushed utterly when the truth comes out. In other words, Wilhiem Hammerstorm, if you really love Shepard, please tell him the truth before he finds out from someone else. We had a close call the other night. It might not be me next time. It might be someone who Shepard believes but doesn't respect. And it might go worse.
And if and when that happens... Light, I don't want to think about what will really happen.
Shepard has a powerful mind, an exceptionally powerful mind. I saw the mindscape he created, and when I realize that he did such without any training... it's pretty amazing. I want to train him, train his mind. If he's able to do what I am--and I don't know that he is, it's just a hunch based on how exquisite his mindscape is--I don't want him to suppress it or hide it. I don't want it to turn on him the way it often feels like it's turning on me.
I'm not all there, you know. To be sure, I'm not frothingly mad or like the nincompoops who populate Cathedral Square, but I know that I'm not sane. I can feel it; I can feel the way my mind tore at itself when I had to hold it all in. I don't think the damage will ever be completely repaired, and that's okay. I think that if I recognize it, that means it's not as bad. And I'm not alone here; Oliver is in this darkness with me, and it's more bearable for that. But if I can prevent someone else from falling to this, I want to.
Light, in the madness that was helping Shepard's mind clear and repairing that damage, I managed to completely miss the Sigil's first venture to Mount Hyjal and the Molten Front. Thank the Light for the Stormwind portals so that we can go back and forth easily, but I really should make sure to go as soon as I next get a chance. Now that my family's back in order, it's time to try and fix the world. What a mighty task.
-S.
I would just like to state here, categorically and for the record, that if Wilhiem gets his ass kicked and destroyed for being undead (not Forsaken) and in Stormwind, it's his own damn fault. This isn't exactly a secret one should be keeping, and if he absolutely must unlive in Stormwind, he should at least try to pass himself off as a Death Knight. Much easier.
Because, I swear, if I get one more hurricane from someone finding out--from me, or from anyone else--about his "condition," I am going to scream.
Years ago, it was easy to hate them (the undead, I mean) for what they were, but when you realize that the rotting corpses you despised were your neighbors, your friends, the people you saw in church every week, it gets more difficult. Can you really hate them for something that wasn't their fault? Can you really hate them or do you hate those who went willingly and the Lich King himself? And I choose to do the latter. Some people (Chadley among them) hate the walking dead because they won't simply kill themselves, but would any of us have the strength to do as much in that position?
I don't think we would.
That said (and I'm the last person to talk of this, I know. I should talk to Chadley), dishonesty is just as bad, and the longer a person is dishonest about who or what they are with the people they love, the more likely it is that they'll be crushed utterly when the truth comes out. In other words, Wilhiem Hammerstorm, if you really love Shepard, please tell him the truth before he finds out from someone else. We had a close call the other night. It might not be me next time. It might be someone who Shepard believes but doesn't respect. And it might go worse.
And if and when that happens... Light, I don't want to think about what will really happen.
Shepard has a powerful mind, an exceptionally powerful mind. I saw the mindscape he created, and when I realize that he did such without any training... it's pretty amazing. I want to train him, train his mind. If he's able to do what I am--and I don't know that he is, it's just a hunch based on how exquisite his mindscape is--I don't want him to suppress it or hide it. I don't want it to turn on him the way it often feels like it's turning on me.
I'm not all there, you know. To be sure, I'm not frothingly mad or like the nincompoops who populate Cathedral Square, but I know that I'm not sane. I can feel it; I can feel the way my mind tore at itself when I had to hold it all in. I don't think the damage will ever be completely repaired, and that's okay. I think that if I recognize it, that means it's not as bad. And I'm not alone here; Oliver is in this darkness with me, and it's more bearable for that. But if I can prevent someone else from falling to this, I want to.
Light, in the madness that was helping Shepard's mind clear and repairing that damage, I managed to completely miss the Sigil's first venture to Mount Hyjal and the Molten Front. Thank the Light for the Stormwind portals so that we can go back and forth easily, but I really should make sure to go as soon as I next get a chance. Now that my family's back in order, it's time to try and fix the world. What a mighty task.
-S.