June 18 -- Past my pain
Dear Diary,
I am a very odd person.
I'm odd in that the knowledge of how I will likely leave this world and move onto the next is a comfort to me, of some sort, and only frightens me a little, and even then, only because I know how much pain it will cause my father.
Last night
I don't really know what to say about it. Oliver's hallucinations worsened and the sedative wasn't keeping him down. I had to take control and take him away from the quarantine. We spent the night in Icecrown so he could rampage without killing or hurting anything or anyone of consequence, and this morning, we've moved to the Argent Crusade's quarantine in Lordaeron. Other Death Knights are here, chained. It's orderly. Sort of. Some of them still scream, but most just stare.
Last night, some stupid dwarf attacked Dad and Oliver with the Light. Oliver attacked back but before he could do anything, I just took control. I took control and took him away, apologizing to Ziichi and Lassair and Marius. I should've helped more.
We went to Icecrown. Dad came. And I told him everything.
He's not happy.
He knew that this would happen, but he's not happy. He told me that he'd expected this since I first started to fall for Oliver, but he didn't want it. He said he thought Oliver could change my mind.
I didn't even think about being undead in anything but a negative light until I met Oliver.
I don't want it. Anyone who would want it doesn't understand it. This isn't some mystical wish spell that allows you to live forever. It's willingly becoming addicted to something so horrible that most people don't speak of it. It's saying good-bye to a heartbeat and air and feeling and smelling and tasting. It's becoming a monster. A monster that people riot against. Especially now... people who become undead now and aren't part of the Forsaken may as well just leave society alone and run away into the wilderness. That kind of magic is justifiably forbidden.
Dad told me that there would come a point where what I control when I take control won't be Oliver anymore.
I said that point would come for all of us. Nobody lives forever as themselves. Sooner or later, madness sets in. And when that madness sets in, please Light we'll have the strength to set each other free.
Dad said he would do it.
On a cliff overlooking Lordaeron, he said.
He would make us kneel.
He would place our blades beside us.
And he would remove our heads with a swift, single cut and break the blades in the same attack. No pain.
I am putting my father through hell and I hate myself for it.
-S.
LOG: Icecrown Undead Things: here
I am a very odd person.
I'm odd in that the knowledge of how I will likely leave this world and move onto the next is a comfort to me, of some sort, and only frightens me a little, and even then, only because I know how much pain it will cause my father.
Last night
I don't really know what to say about it. Oliver's hallucinations worsened and the sedative wasn't keeping him down. I had to take control and take him away from the quarantine. We spent the night in Icecrown so he could rampage without killing or hurting anything or anyone of consequence, and this morning, we've moved to the Argent Crusade's quarantine in Lordaeron. Other Death Knights are here, chained. It's orderly. Sort of. Some of them still scream, but most just stare.
Last night, some stupid dwarf attacked Dad and Oliver with the Light. Oliver attacked back but before he could do anything, I just took control. I took control and took him away, apologizing to Ziichi and Lassair and Marius. I should've helped more.
We went to Icecrown. Dad came. And I told him everything.
He's not happy.
He knew that this would happen, but he's not happy. He told me that he'd expected this since I first started to fall for Oliver, but he didn't want it. He said he thought Oliver could change my mind.
I didn't even think about being undead in anything but a negative light until I met Oliver.
I don't want it. Anyone who would want it doesn't understand it. This isn't some mystical wish spell that allows you to live forever. It's willingly becoming addicted to something so horrible that most people don't speak of it. It's saying good-bye to a heartbeat and air and feeling and smelling and tasting. It's becoming a monster. A monster that people riot against. Especially now... people who become undead now and aren't part of the Forsaken may as well just leave society alone and run away into the wilderness. That kind of magic is justifiably forbidden.
Dad told me that there would come a point where what I control when I take control won't be Oliver anymore.
I said that point would come for all of us. Nobody lives forever as themselves. Sooner or later, madness sets in. And when that madness sets in, please Light we'll have the strength to set each other free.
Dad said he would do it.
On a cliff overlooking Lordaeron, he said.
He would make us kneel.
He would place our blades beside us.
And he would remove our heads with a swift, single cut and break the blades in the same attack. No pain.
I am putting my father through hell and I hate myself for it.
-S.
LOG: Icecrown Undead Things: here