Chapter 3a of Spin
Yeah, I totally have no impulse control. Here's chapter 3a. It's short, thus the 'a'. More to come later.
Chapter one: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2131835/1/
Chapter two: http://www.livejournal.com/users/brandywine421/93133.html#cutid1
(Without Semagic, I can't make links or put people's ljusernames neatly. Is there a FAQ of just the codes?)
Sandy was silent.
Kirsten had stopped talking a few moments before but he still couldn’t put his feelings into words.
“Sandy…please…say something…”
“You are not the woman I married,” he said finally.
She gasped.
“If you didn’t want Ryan here…”
“I do!”
“Really? Then where is he?” Sandy asked, as calmly as he could manage. “But a better question is, if it had been Seth that had gotten caught fucking the guidance counselor would you have done the same thing?”
Kirsten didn’t speak but the tears continued to run down her face.
“No, because Seth’s your son. And you’ve never considered Ryan a member of this family. What was it, your Dad? What did Ryan do that made you do this?”
“Nothing, Sandy, it was a mistake, I didn’t know…”
“You didn’t care,” Sandy snapped. “You knew, you’re not a child, you’re a grown woman and you didn’t care about the kid we signed on to protect.” He got up and walked out of the kitchen.
“Sandy? Sandy, what are you going to do?” Kirsten followed him, frantic, she grabbed his arm before he could get to the bedroom.
“I’m going to find Ryan.”
“And bring him home?” she asked.
He met her gaze, not letting her tears affect him. “What home?”
------------------------------
Ryan rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. Noon. Nice.
No school.
He could get used to this.
He’d gotten the job at the garage and he’d start on Monday.
It seemed like a good job. The guy that ran it was an older man whose sons were leaving for college and he needed replacements. It had been through two generations and the man seemed legit.
It was really surreal.
Last week he’d been the epitome of a good son, apart from his fling with the older woman, but he’d been a straight-A, non-troublemaking kid.
He didn’t intend to start troublemaking anytime soon, but he had to admit that he wasn’t as upset about his loss of the poolhouse as he should’ve been.
He was tired.
Newport made him tired.
He rolled over and closed his eyes. He could sleep more.
But he needed to call Seth.
Make sure Seth wasn’t mad at his mom. Wasn’t mad at him. Wasn’t going to sail off into oblivion again.
He sat up in bed, tucking the comforter around him as he moved the phone to set on the bed. He dialed Seth’s cell phone number.
“Hello?”
“Seth?”
“No. Ryan?”
“Sandy?” Ryan asked in surprise, questioning his dialing.
“I had all of Seth’s calls forwarded to my phone. Where are you?”
Ryan hesitated, unable to gauge Sandy’s reaction over the phone. “At a hotel.”
“Where? I…We need to talk. We need to have a long talk.”
Ryan knew it. He was just hoping to postpone it.
“I can’t take back what Kirsten’s done…but I need to see you for myself. I need to talk to you.”
“I’m at the Days Inn on the coast. A couple of blocks down…”
“I know where it is. I’m in room 528.”
“What?”
“Kirsten…she didn’t just let you down. She let me down, too. What room are you in?”
“You’re staying at the Days Inn?” Ryan asked.
“I didn’t want her to find me right away. Nothing better than a low rent hotel to distract her. If she’s looking for me at all.”
“Sandy. I’m in 421. I’ll start some coffee.”
------------------------------
Kirsten was sitting in the kitchen when Seth entered, dressed for school even though it was afternoon.
Seth sat down beside her.
“Seth…” she began but he held up his hand to stop her.
“I consider him my brother. I thought that was enough to make you love him. I see now that I was wrong. But I just don’t understand how I could’ve been so wrong about you.”
She looked at him, pale. Seth was her son.
“You were the best mom that I could have ever asked for. I know I took you for granted, but…after meeting Ryan’s mom…I really wanted you to love him and see him like Dad and me see him. I really wanted him to have a second chance and you just…you don’t see it. You never saw it. You’re just like Grandpa, you don’t think that he’s ever going to be worth anything…because of his history…”
“Seth, that’s not true…”
“Isn’t it?” Seth responded. “Ryan has worked his ass off, Mom. He’s changed, he’s changed because of us, he’s done everything right and you screwed him…you let him walk out of school, the school that he’s earned the right to go to, he’s gotten better grades than I ever have, he’s helped me more than I could ever have imagined and you let him walk out of her like he was nothing. I…I love you, mom, but I don’t know if I will ever understand what you did.”
“Seth…I…I was upset…I heard that Ryan had an affair with the counselor and…”
“And you automatically assumed that he had seduced her. God. You know him…you’re not some random Newpsie, you know him…Ryan…he’s…he’s attractive, even my girlfriend would agree, but…seriously…” Seth stammered.
“I made a mistake,” she said suddenly. “Don’t you think I know that? I said things to Ryan that no one should say. I said unforgivable things, and Sandy’s not even willing to be in the house with me, don’t you think I know what I’ve done?”
“Sandy? You’re worried about Dad? Right now, the last person you should be worrying about is Dad. Ryan. His name is Ryan. My brother, Dad’s son. The guy that lived in the poolhouse that would lay down his life for anyone named ‘Cohen’, that’s who’s important here. Ryan…” Seth said in a rush of words.
“Seth…”
“No. I’m going upstairs before I have time to think about this.”
------------------------------
“You don’t have to leave,” Sandy said quietly.
Ryan was startled by Sandy’s opening words. He stepped aside and let Sandy inside his room.
“Ryan…I’m sorry. For everything…”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. All of this…”
“It’s not your fault,” Ryan replied automatically, turning to close the door but halting at the appearance of the bellboy.
“Breakfast,” the kid said. Ryan took the rolling cart from him and pushed it into the room, giving the kid the last five-dollar bill from his wallet.
“Enjoy,” the kid said, closing the door behind him.
Sandy and Ryan were alone.
“I charged it to my room,” Sandy said. “Sit down.”
Ryan didn’t sit down. He walked over to stand in front of Sandy. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. I won’t know until you sit down and tell me.”
“Didn’t Kirsten tell you?”
“I want to hear it from you. You withdrew from Harbor?”
“Wendy told. Dr. Kim called Kirsten in for a conference,” Ryan admitted. “And…”
“Kirsten snapped, I know that much,” Sandy said, accepting a bagel from the fully stocked tray that he’d ordered. Ryan poured two cups of coffee from the counter.
He sat down beside Sandy on the bed, within reach, but out of striking distance. He didn't think that Sandy would hit him, but he knew that a hug was probably going to be in his future.
“Ryan?”
“She didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want you to be mad at Kirsten.””
“You left…”
“One of the last things you said to me was that I needed to start doing things for me, and not for other people…and this is what's best for me right now. Kirsten was angry, she was worried about what people were going to think and as long as I'm on her property, people are going to talk. At least this way, she can get back to her life…"
"So, even though you say you're doing this for yourself, you just said that you were doing it for Kirsten."
Ryan sighed. "Is it that hard to understand? I'm tired, Sandy. I'm tired of working my ass off for nothing. I'm not going to get a scholarship, I don't belong in private school, I'm tired of taking insults and abuse from people that hate me just because of where I'm from, I'm just tired. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it work…"
"Ryan, I…I know that this is hard for you…"
"I left everything behind Sandy. I spent the majority of my first 16 years taking care of my drunk mom and then you brought me here, promised that I wouldn't have to do that anymore…and I know that you were hurt when I went with Teresa this summer…but god, at least she knows me. She was family to me long before you came along…and I walked away from her for this," Ryan said slowly.
"God. Ryan…"
"I wanted it to work, Sandy. I wanted to be a part of your family. You have always done right by me. You have never let me down. Seth…Seth's always going to be a part of my life. But I don't want to come back."
"So…you're just giving up on school, giving up on your future?" Sandy asked quietly.
"Not at all. I know now that I'm worth something. I know now that I can do anything I put my mind to," Ryan said. "I've signed up to get my GED…"
"You're not going to graduate?"
"Listen, Sandy…I can get my GED, almost immediately. I've got a job already, I'll start on Monday. And…I've got an apartment. I want to do something that I like to do. I like to work with my hands, I like fixing things..."
"Ryan…"
"Please. Just…I want you to understand that I'm not doing this to hurt you, I really need to move on with my life. I need to start being my own person instead of being what people want me to be. Even you. You want me to be something I'm not."
Ryan didn't flinch when Sandy put his arm around him. He was prepared for it.
"You have never disappointed me, kid. Even now, I can see how special you are, you found a place to live, got a job, made plans in just a few days. You never fail to surprise me," Sandy sighed.
"And you're not mad?"
"I'm not mad. I'm very, very sad, though."
------------------------------
Chapter one: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2131835/1/
Chapter two: http://www.livejournal.com/users/brandywine421/93133.html#cutid1
(Without Semagic, I can't make links or put people's ljusernames neatly. Is there a FAQ of just the codes?)
Sandy was silent.
Kirsten had stopped talking a few moments before but he still couldn’t put his feelings into words.
“Sandy…please…say something…”
“You are not the woman I married,” he said finally.
She gasped.
“If you didn’t want Ryan here…”
“I do!”
“Really? Then where is he?” Sandy asked, as calmly as he could manage. “But a better question is, if it had been Seth that had gotten caught fucking the guidance counselor would you have done the same thing?”
Kirsten didn’t speak but the tears continued to run down her face.
“No, because Seth’s your son. And you’ve never considered Ryan a member of this family. What was it, your Dad? What did Ryan do that made you do this?”
“Nothing, Sandy, it was a mistake, I didn’t know…”
“You didn’t care,” Sandy snapped. “You knew, you’re not a child, you’re a grown woman and you didn’t care about the kid we signed on to protect.” He got up and walked out of the kitchen.
“Sandy? Sandy, what are you going to do?” Kirsten followed him, frantic, she grabbed his arm before he could get to the bedroom.
“I’m going to find Ryan.”
“And bring him home?” she asked.
He met her gaze, not letting her tears affect him. “What home?”
------------------------------
Ryan rolled over and glanced at the alarm clock. Noon. Nice.
No school.
He could get used to this.
He’d gotten the job at the garage and he’d start on Monday.
It seemed like a good job. The guy that ran it was an older man whose sons were leaving for college and he needed replacements. It had been through two generations and the man seemed legit.
It was really surreal.
Last week he’d been the epitome of a good son, apart from his fling with the older woman, but he’d been a straight-A, non-troublemaking kid.
He didn’t intend to start troublemaking anytime soon, but he had to admit that he wasn’t as upset about his loss of the poolhouse as he should’ve been.
He was tired.
Newport made him tired.
He rolled over and closed his eyes. He could sleep more.
But he needed to call Seth.
Make sure Seth wasn’t mad at his mom. Wasn’t mad at him. Wasn’t going to sail off into oblivion again.
He sat up in bed, tucking the comforter around him as he moved the phone to set on the bed. He dialed Seth’s cell phone number.
“Hello?”
“Seth?”
“No. Ryan?”
“Sandy?” Ryan asked in surprise, questioning his dialing.
“I had all of Seth’s calls forwarded to my phone. Where are you?”
Ryan hesitated, unable to gauge Sandy’s reaction over the phone. “At a hotel.”
“Where? I…We need to talk. We need to have a long talk.”
Ryan knew it. He was just hoping to postpone it.
“I can’t take back what Kirsten’s done…but I need to see you for myself. I need to talk to you.”
“I’m at the Days Inn on the coast. A couple of blocks down…”
“I know where it is. I’m in room 528.”
“What?”
“Kirsten…she didn’t just let you down. She let me down, too. What room are you in?”
“You’re staying at the Days Inn?” Ryan asked.
“I didn’t want her to find me right away. Nothing better than a low rent hotel to distract her. If she’s looking for me at all.”
“Sandy. I’m in 421. I’ll start some coffee.”
------------------------------
Kirsten was sitting in the kitchen when Seth entered, dressed for school even though it was afternoon.
Seth sat down beside her.
“Seth…” she began but he held up his hand to stop her.
“I consider him my brother. I thought that was enough to make you love him. I see now that I was wrong. But I just don’t understand how I could’ve been so wrong about you.”
She looked at him, pale. Seth was her son.
“You were the best mom that I could have ever asked for. I know I took you for granted, but…after meeting Ryan’s mom…I really wanted you to love him and see him like Dad and me see him. I really wanted him to have a second chance and you just…you don’t see it. You never saw it. You’re just like Grandpa, you don’t think that he’s ever going to be worth anything…because of his history…”
“Seth, that’s not true…”
“Isn’t it?” Seth responded. “Ryan has worked his ass off, Mom. He’s changed, he’s changed because of us, he’s done everything right and you screwed him…you let him walk out of school, the school that he’s earned the right to go to, he’s gotten better grades than I ever have, he’s helped me more than I could ever have imagined and you let him walk out of her like he was nothing. I…I love you, mom, but I don’t know if I will ever understand what you did.”
“Seth…I…I was upset…I heard that Ryan had an affair with the counselor and…”
“And you automatically assumed that he had seduced her. God. You know him…you’re not some random Newpsie, you know him…Ryan…he’s…he’s attractive, even my girlfriend would agree, but…seriously…” Seth stammered.
“I made a mistake,” she said suddenly. “Don’t you think I know that? I said things to Ryan that no one should say. I said unforgivable things, and Sandy’s not even willing to be in the house with me, don’t you think I know what I’ve done?”
“Sandy? You’re worried about Dad? Right now, the last person you should be worrying about is Dad. Ryan. His name is Ryan. My brother, Dad’s son. The guy that lived in the poolhouse that would lay down his life for anyone named ‘Cohen’, that’s who’s important here. Ryan…” Seth said in a rush of words.
“Seth…”
“No. I’m going upstairs before I have time to think about this.”
------------------------------
“You don’t have to leave,” Sandy said quietly.
Ryan was startled by Sandy’s opening words. He stepped aside and let Sandy inside his room.
“Ryan…I’m sorry. For everything…”
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. All of this…”
“It’s not your fault,” Ryan replied automatically, turning to close the door but halting at the appearance of the bellboy.
“Breakfast,” the kid said. Ryan took the rolling cart from him and pushed it into the room, giving the kid the last five-dollar bill from his wallet.
“Enjoy,” the kid said, closing the door behind him.
Sandy and Ryan were alone.
“I charged it to my room,” Sandy said. “Sit down.”
Ryan didn’t sit down. He walked over to stand in front of Sandy. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know. I won’t know until you sit down and tell me.”
“Didn’t Kirsten tell you?”
“I want to hear it from you. You withdrew from Harbor?”
“Wendy told. Dr. Kim called Kirsten in for a conference,” Ryan admitted. “And…”
“Kirsten snapped, I know that much,” Sandy said, accepting a bagel from the fully stocked tray that he’d ordered. Ryan poured two cups of coffee from the counter.
He sat down beside Sandy on the bed, within reach, but out of striking distance. He didn't think that Sandy would hit him, but he knew that a hug was probably going to be in his future.
“Ryan?”
“She didn’t do anything wrong. I don’t want you to be mad at Kirsten.””
“You left…”
“One of the last things you said to me was that I needed to start doing things for me, and not for other people…and this is what's best for me right now. Kirsten was angry, she was worried about what people were going to think and as long as I'm on her property, people are going to talk. At least this way, she can get back to her life…"
"So, even though you say you're doing this for yourself, you just said that you were doing it for Kirsten."
Ryan sighed. "Is it that hard to understand? I'm tired, Sandy. I'm tired of working my ass off for nothing. I'm not going to get a scholarship, I don't belong in private school, I'm tired of taking insults and abuse from people that hate me just because of where I'm from, I'm just tired. I'm sorry that I couldn't make it work…"
"Ryan, I…I know that this is hard for you…"
"I left everything behind Sandy. I spent the majority of my first 16 years taking care of my drunk mom and then you brought me here, promised that I wouldn't have to do that anymore…and I know that you were hurt when I went with Teresa this summer…but god, at least she knows me. She was family to me long before you came along…and I walked away from her for this," Ryan said slowly.
"God. Ryan…"
"I wanted it to work, Sandy. I wanted to be a part of your family. You have always done right by me. You have never let me down. Seth…Seth's always going to be a part of my life. But I don't want to come back."
"So…you're just giving up on school, giving up on your future?" Sandy asked quietly.
"Not at all. I know now that I'm worth something. I know now that I can do anything I put my mind to," Ryan said. "I've signed up to get my GED…"
"You're not going to graduate?"
"Listen, Sandy…I can get my GED, almost immediately. I've got a job already, I'll start on Monday. And…I've got an apartment. I want to do something that I like to do. I like to work with my hands, I like fixing things..."
"Ryan…"
"Please. Just…I want you to understand that I'm not doing this to hurt you, I really need to move on with my life. I need to start being my own person instead of being what people want me to be. Even you. You want me to be something I'm not."
Ryan didn't flinch when Sandy put his arm around him. He was prepared for it.
"You have never disappointed me, kid. Even now, I can see how special you are, you found a place to live, got a job, made plans in just a few days. You never fail to surprise me," Sandy sighed.
"And you're not mad?"
"I'm not mad. I'm very, very sad, though."
------------------------------