fic - crack drabble
*sigh*
Katwoman is home and I will hopefully be able to return to regularly scheduled programming.
But here is some crack inspired by that picture I showed you guys earlier. This is also an excuse for pretty pretty ryan picspam. I doubt I'll go much further with it, but at least its out of my system now.
Anna took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the poolhouse.
She hadn't got to know Ryan as well as she wanted because she'd gotten caught up in the Seth Cohen gravitational pull.
But Summer dressed up like Wonder Woman and all she did was draw a crappy lovesick comic. Of course he'd pick boobs and shiny bracelets over a book of cartoons.
She had to find better uses of her time outside of Seth Cohen. And her mother had finally sent the rest of her equipment from Philly and she had a brilliant idea on the way back from the post office.
"Yeah? Hey, Anna," Ryan said, letting her into the poolhouse.
"Hey. What are you doing?" she asked.
"Nothing. Marissa's out with that Oliver guy and I'm sitting here not being upset about it," Ryan said. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."
"No worries," she smiled. "Sorry that she's being so weird."
"What's up?" Ryan asked, sitting down on his bed so she could have the chair.
"Well, now that Seth's made his choice and I'm trying to keep busy and not get upset about it, I was wondering if you'd do me a favor," Anna said.
"What kind of favor?" he asked.
"I want to be a photographer, or at least I did in Philly. I wasn't sure I was going to keep pursuing it, but now that I have all this free time and I joined Lit Mag instead of the newspaper, I want to work on my portfolio."
"I still don't see how I fit into all that. Do you need me to carry your tripod or something?" Ryan asked.
"Not exactly. I just...want to work on photographing people. I mean, this is California and if I can get into modeling..."
"Whoa. I don't take pictures. Ever," Ryan said.
"I saw you on the Chrismukkah card I got," she pointed out.
"That was a special occasion," he said.
"And so is this. I need help and you always have to help. You're Ryan and you always help!" she said.
He scowled at her.
"Please? I'm a damsel and I'm seriously in distress," she said. "Please?"
"What kind of pictures?"
"All you have to do is wear what I tell you and let me take pictures," Anna said. "And I won't show them to anyone without your permission, this is just for practice."
"And to think, this whole time, I actually liked you," Ryan said, leaning back to sprawl on the bed.
She patted his knee gratefully on the way to his closet. "It won't be as bad as you think. And it's better than us sitting at home alone," Anna said.
"I guess I'll shave..."
"Shave today and then once you get some of that sexy stubble back, maybe, two days worth, I'll want some shots of that," Anna said, ignoring his groan.
"You owe me," Ryan said on his way to the bathroom.
She nodded and flashed him a bright smile and resumed rummaging through his closet.
---------------
---------------
"Oh my god, these came out amazing, like totally amazing," Anna said, when she saw Ryan sitting at the counter.
She froze when she saw he wasn't alone.
"Hi, Anna," Kirsten smiled.
Ryan was shaking his head.
"Oh, hi. Um. I came to see Ryan."
"And something you've done together is amazing, I got that," she said.
"It's just something for...school," Anna said.
She knew Ryan didn't want to tell anyone about his favor for her, but it had really been an accident...
"You can show her," Ryan sighed. "Seth got his persistence from her and it's better to just show her."
She had a rush of relief. Kirsten would surely share her enthusiasm for the photos. "Are you sure?"
He waved his hand and returned to picking at his cereal.
The photography took a backseat when she saw how forlorn he was. "Marissa blow you off again?"
"Yeah. But it's cool, I'd rather sit at home than hang out with that guy," Ryan said.
She put the folder down on the counter and sat down beside him. "She'll come around, Ryan. And if she doesn't, well, she's not worth it. You've already risked a lot for her and if she's too thick to see that, then you have to let it go," she said.
"I think that's the first time I've every heard anyone call her 'thick', she's like a skeleton," Kirsten said into her coffee cup without looking at them.
Ryan's lips twitched.
"I knew you could smile, I've just got to find a way to get you to do it on cue," Anna teased.
Kirsten was frozen in place with the binder open in front of her.
"Kirsten?" Ryan asked.
"Anna, these are amazing, did you take these?" Kirsten asked.
"Yeah, I actually convinced him to help me out. I want to practice and get some shots for my portfolio," Anna said.
"She made me shave on a Saturday," Ryan muttered.
"Honey, they're great, you're really photogenic and Anna's got some impressive pictures here," Kirsten said.
"She must be amazing to make me look good," Ryan said.
Kirsten had her head tilted and was looking at Ryan.
"What? Is something on my face?" he asked, looking to Anna for help.
"The gardener's truck is around back, you should take pictures of him outside, so they can see more than his face, and it's a clear day," Kirsten said.
"Ryan and a pickup truck will be perfect," Anna said. "Kirsten rocks."
"Is it too late for me to tell you that I don't want to do it?"
"Yes," Anna said.
"I won't tell Seth or Sandy, but you should be proud of these," Kirsten said.
"Go put on the casual clothes I picked out for you that we didn't get to use last time. I'll go find the gardener and see if he'll let us use his truck," Anna said.
"You owe me twice as much now," Ryan sulked, walking out of the room with his coffee.
---------------
---------------
Anna wasn't expecting Kirsten Cohen to show up at her house a couple of weeks after she'd finished with the portfolio.
"Hi, Mrs. Cohen. Is everything all right?" She'd just talked to Ryan today at school. She spent more time with him these days than his girlfriend.
"I'm afraid I did something bad," Kirsten said.
"Okay, and you're telling me?" Anna asked, confused.
"I took the copy of your portfolio to one of my friends. She runs a modeling agency and...she really liked them."
"That doesn't sound like a bad thing," Anna replied.
"She wants to talk to you about a possible internship, and...she wants Ryan to model for her," Kirsten said.
"Oh. You know he's going to flip out, and not in a good way," Anna replied.
"He's going to kill me. It's been so hard to earn his trust and now he's going to think I'm trying to humiliate him," Kirsten said.
"Hopefully he'll realize you did it because you were proud of the photos," Anna said. "Come on, drive me over and I'll butter him up for you. You know how Ryan is, he'll forgive anything, so even if he's upset, he'll come around."
"Do you really think so?"
"You worry too much," Anna said. "Ryan loves you, he'd jump into traffic if you told him to."
"But I want him to do this because he wants to. But I also know that he isn't going to want to," Kirsten said.
She spend the short drive back to the Cohens trying to convince Ryan's surrogate mother that she didn't have anything to worry about other than a glare and maybe a temporary scowl.
They walked into the poolhouse together where Ryan was snoring over his homework.
"Ryan? Wake up, we need to have a talk," Anna said.
Ryan sat up, startled and adorably groggy. "What? Hey, Anna. Kirsten?"
"Your door was open so we didn't knock," Kirsten said.
"It's cool, I didn't know I fell asleep," he yawned, rubbing his cheek where it had a crease from his notebook. "What's up?"
"You know how those photos were for my portfolio? To, like, shop around for anyone interested in me as a photographer?" Anna asked.
"Yeah, and you said the art teacher liked them," Ryan said.
"I showed them to a friend of mine that runs a modeling agency. She loved them," Kirsten said.
"Really? Congratulations, Anna," Ryan said.
"And, she loved you, too. She wants to offer you a contract," Kirsten said.
"A contract for what?" Ryan asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"A modeling contract. Because you're even more gorgeous on film," Anna said.
"Oh no, I'm not falling for this..." Ryan said. "This is not funny."
"It was her suggestion, my friend, she really thinks you have something...and if you gave it a try, I think..." Kirsten started.
"You want me to, like, walk the catwalk or something?" Ryan frowned.
"I think she wants you for magazine work," Kirsten said.
"This is really awesome, Ryan, and it's not a bad way to make money, you know? Better than hauling bricks or nailing...whatever," Anna said. "You stand around and look pretty and you get paid for it."
"Seth would tease me to death," Ryan said, frowning deeper.
"We don't have to tell him," Kirsten said.
Ryan rubbed his face. "This is insane," he said.
Anna winked at Kirsten. This was going to be easier than she thought.
Katwoman is home and I will hopefully be able to return to regularly scheduled programming.
But here is some crack inspired by that picture I showed you guys earlier. This is also an excuse for pretty pretty ryan picspam. I doubt I'll go much further with it, but at least its out of my system now.
Anna took a deep breath and knocked on the door to the poolhouse.
She hadn't got to know Ryan as well as she wanted because she'd gotten caught up in the Seth Cohen gravitational pull.
But Summer dressed up like Wonder Woman and all she did was draw a crappy lovesick comic. Of course he'd pick boobs and shiny bracelets over a book of cartoons.
She had to find better uses of her time outside of Seth Cohen. And her mother had finally sent the rest of her equipment from Philly and she had a brilliant idea on the way back from the post office.
"Yeah? Hey, Anna," Ryan said, letting her into the poolhouse.
"Hey. What are you doing?" she asked.
"Nothing. Marissa's out with that Oliver guy and I'm sitting here not being upset about it," Ryan said. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."
"No worries," she smiled. "Sorry that she's being so weird."
"What's up?" Ryan asked, sitting down on his bed so she could have the chair.
"Well, now that Seth's made his choice and I'm trying to keep busy and not get upset about it, I was wondering if you'd do me a favor," Anna said.
"What kind of favor?" he asked.
"I want to be a photographer, or at least I did in Philly. I wasn't sure I was going to keep pursuing it, but now that I have all this free time and I joined Lit Mag instead of the newspaper, I want to work on my portfolio."
"I still don't see how I fit into all that. Do you need me to carry your tripod or something?" Ryan asked.
"Not exactly. I just...want to work on photographing people. I mean, this is California and if I can get into modeling..."
"Whoa. I don't take pictures. Ever," Ryan said.
"I saw you on the Chrismukkah card I got," she pointed out.
"That was a special occasion," he said.
"And so is this. I need help and you always have to help. You're Ryan and you always help!" she said.
He scowled at her.
"Please? I'm a damsel and I'm seriously in distress," she said. "Please?"
"What kind of pictures?"
"All you have to do is wear what I tell you and let me take pictures," Anna said. "And I won't show them to anyone without your permission, this is just for practice."
"And to think, this whole time, I actually liked you," Ryan said, leaning back to sprawl on the bed.
She patted his knee gratefully on the way to his closet. "It won't be as bad as you think. And it's better than us sitting at home alone," Anna said.
"I guess I'll shave..."
"Shave today and then once you get some of that sexy stubble back, maybe, two days worth, I'll want some shots of that," Anna said, ignoring his groan.
"You owe me," Ryan said on his way to the bathroom.
She nodded and flashed him a bright smile and resumed rummaging through his closet.
---------------
---------------
"Oh my god, these came out amazing, like totally amazing," Anna said, when she saw Ryan sitting at the counter.
She froze when she saw he wasn't alone.
"Hi, Anna," Kirsten smiled.
Ryan was shaking his head.
"Oh, hi. Um. I came to see Ryan."
"And something you've done together is amazing, I got that," she said.
"It's just something for...school," Anna said.
She knew Ryan didn't want to tell anyone about his favor for her, but it had really been an accident...
"You can show her," Ryan sighed. "Seth got his persistence from her and it's better to just show her."
She had a rush of relief. Kirsten would surely share her enthusiasm for the photos. "Are you sure?"
He waved his hand and returned to picking at his cereal.
The photography took a backseat when she saw how forlorn he was. "Marissa blow you off again?"
"Yeah. But it's cool, I'd rather sit at home than hang out with that guy," Ryan said.
She put the folder down on the counter and sat down beside him. "She'll come around, Ryan. And if she doesn't, well, she's not worth it. You've already risked a lot for her and if she's too thick to see that, then you have to let it go," she said.
"I think that's the first time I've every heard anyone call her 'thick', she's like a skeleton," Kirsten said into her coffee cup without looking at them.
Ryan's lips twitched.
"I knew you could smile, I've just got to find a way to get you to do it on cue," Anna teased.
Kirsten was frozen in place with the binder open in front of her.
"Kirsten?" Ryan asked.
"Anna, these are amazing, did you take these?" Kirsten asked.
"Yeah, I actually convinced him to help me out. I want to practice and get some shots for my portfolio," Anna said.
"She made me shave on a Saturday," Ryan muttered.
"Honey, they're great, you're really photogenic and Anna's got some impressive pictures here," Kirsten said.
"She must be amazing to make me look good," Ryan said.
Kirsten had her head tilted and was looking at Ryan.
"What? Is something on my face?" he asked, looking to Anna for help.
"The gardener's truck is around back, you should take pictures of him outside, so they can see more than his face, and it's a clear day," Kirsten said.
"Ryan and a pickup truck will be perfect," Anna said. "Kirsten rocks."
"Is it too late for me to tell you that I don't want to do it?"
"Yes," Anna said.
"I won't tell Seth or Sandy, but you should be proud of these," Kirsten said.
"Go put on the casual clothes I picked out for you that we didn't get to use last time. I'll go find the gardener and see if he'll let us use his truck," Anna said.
"You owe me twice as much now," Ryan sulked, walking out of the room with his coffee.
---------------
---------------
Anna wasn't expecting Kirsten Cohen to show up at her house a couple of weeks after she'd finished with the portfolio.
"Hi, Mrs. Cohen. Is everything all right?" She'd just talked to Ryan today at school. She spent more time with him these days than his girlfriend.
"I'm afraid I did something bad," Kirsten said.
"Okay, and you're telling me?" Anna asked, confused.
"I took the copy of your portfolio to one of my friends. She runs a modeling agency and...she really liked them."
"That doesn't sound like a bad thing," Anna replied.
"She wants to talk to you about a possible internship, and...she wants Ryan to model for her," Kirsten said.
"Oh. You know he's going to flip out, and not in a good way," Anna replied.
"He's going to kill me. It's been so hard to earn his trust and now he's going to think I'm trying to humiliate him," Kirsten said.
"Hopefully he'll realize you did it because you were proud of the photos," Anna said. "Come on, drive me over and I'll butter him up for you. You know how Ryan is, he'll forgive anything, so even if he's upset, he'll come around."
"Do you really think so?"
"You worry too much," Anna said. "Ryan loves you, he'd jump into traffic if you told him to."
"But I want him to do this because he wants to. But I also know that he isn't going to want to," Kirsten said.
She spend the short drive back to the Cohens trying to convince Ryan's surrogate mother that she didn't have anything to worry about other than a glare and maybe a temporary scowl.
They walked into the poolhouse together where Ryan was snoring over his homework.
"Ryan? Wake up, we need to have a talk," Anna said.
Ryan sat up, startled and adorably groggy. "What? Hey, Anna. Kirsten?"
"Your door was open so we didn't knock," Kirsten said.
"It's cool, I didn't know I fell asleep," he yawned, rubbing his cheek where it had a crease from his notebook. "What's up?"
"You know how those photos were for my portfolio? To, like, shop around for anyone interested in me as a photographer?" Anna asked.
"Yeah, and you said the art teacher liked them," Ryan said.
"I showed them to a friend of mine that runs a modeling agency. She loved them," Kirsten said.
"Really? Congratulations, Anna," Ryan said.
"And, she loved you, too. She wants to offer you a contract," Kirsten said.
"A contract for what?" Ryan asked, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"A modeling contract. Because you're even more gorgeous on film," Anna said.
"Oh no, I'm not falling for this..." Ryan said. "This is not funny."
"It was her suggestion, my friend, she really thinks you have something...and if you gave it a try, I think..." Kirsten started.
"You want me to, like, walk the catwalk or something?" Ryan frowned.
"I think she wants you for magazine work," Kirsten said.
"This is really awesome, Ryan, and it's not a bad way to make money, you know? Better than hauling bricks or nailing...whatever," Anna said. "You stand around and look pretty and you get paid for it."
"Seth would tease me to death," Ryan said, frowning deeper.
"We don't have to tell him," Kirsten said.
Ryan rubbed his face. "This is insane," he said.
Anna winked at Kirsten. This was going to be easier than she thought.