All Right.
I'm engaged now, and, have been since October 19th.
It's causing me to evaluate where my life is going/where I want it to go.
I'm still working for the same place in Rochester that I have been since last May. On one hand, it's been a great, steady job that I can (mostly) count on. I say mostly because our CEO has temper tantrums and threatens to fire us from time to time. On the other hand, I'm still in the position I was hired for. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but, considering the fact that they've lost 3 editors since November, I'm pretty infuriated that I haven't been moved. I do understand that they'd like me to have a better working knowledge of After Effects, which, I'm currently in the process of teaching myself since I was told this a couple of weeks ago. However, if this was a thing, this is something I should have been told about a long time ago - not 3 weeks ago. I also don't want to wait until May t maybe have the chance at it, since there's another girl who was hired after me that they're also considering.
We just had to hand in a list of goals for the next year and then where we saw ourselves in 5 years - "we" as in, the other Production Assistants gave these lists to our Managing Producer. I was flat-out honest. The only thing I see myself becoming is the next editor for the new team we may or may not create in May. If it doesn't happen by 2014, I'm leaving. There's no reason to stay to simply be dicked around.
I also desperately want to move back to Ithaca, but, therein lies a problem of 'Do I want to move back to try to emulate the life I left?' or is it because I want to make a new one? If I did that, then Cody would be even further away from his band that's just starting to take off around here and I'd be taking him away from the life he has around here and that's not fair.
The only logical thing we'll end up doing is move in together somewhere in the outskirts of East Rochester - some town that's in-between Rochester and Newark. And I'll keep working for this company, even though I'm starting to feel more bitter and annoyed with it every day - an annoyance I can't say will evaporate should I get the position I desire so badly.
I'm just so stuck. Not that I've worked for many different places throughout my life, but, I haven't found anything that makes me happy. It's only temporary. Although, working in the Ithaca Nature's Market was the closest I felt to happiness 100% of the time. Canandaigua was great, but, near the end I was dying to get out. And now, I feel the same way I did when I was so desperate to leave Canandaigua. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
The couple of days that I did get to edit a few videos, I was really happy and content and at peace. Then asking me to go back to my assistant duties just sucked.
I know I waited a long time the first time I was to change departments at the Ithaca Wegmans. It was a couple of months and I was so close to quitting every single day that I could taste it. Then, the heavenly day came when I was told I would be moving from Subs to Bulk Foods. I was happy again. Maybe that is what's happening here. I'm being stretched thinner than I thought I could be to be soothed with the offer of not being a PA anymore.
I know I can hold out for a couple more months, to see where this ends up. I just need to stop bitching about it to myself and just keep working. I need to keep quiet and do my work as well as I can and see where it gets me. I can't complain to anyone else about this, save for Cody, so I needed to drop it on my LJ.
It's causing me to evaluate where my life is going/where I want it to go.
I'm still working for the same place in Rochester that I have been since last May. On one hand, it's been a great, steady job that I can (mostly) count on. I say mostly because our CEO has temper tantrums and threatens to fire us from time to time. On the other hand, I'm still in the position I was hired for. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but, considering the fact that they've lost 3 editors since November, I'm pretty infuriated that I haven't been moved. I do understand that they'd like me to have a better working knowledge of After Effects, which, I'm currently in the process of teaching myself since I was told this a couple of weeks ago. However, if this was a thing, this is something I should have been told about a long time ago - not 3 weeks ago. I also don't want to wait until May t maybe have the chance at it, since there's another girl who was hired after me that they're also considering.
We just had to hand in a list of goals for the next year and then where we saw ourselves in 5 years - "we" as in, the other Production Assistants gave these lists to our Managing Producer. I was flat-out honest. The only thing I see myself becoming is the next editor for the new team we may or may not create in May. If it doesn't happen by 2014, I'm leaving. There's no reason to stay to simply be dicked around.
I also desperately want to move back to Ithaca, but, therein lies a problem of 'Do I want to move back to try to emulate the life I left?' or is it because I want to make a new one? If I did that, then Cody would be even further away from his band that's just starting to take off around here and I'd be taking him away from the life he has around here and that's not fair.
The only logical thing we'll end up doing is move in together somewhere in the outskirts of East Rochester - some town that's in-between Rochester and Newark. And I'll keep working for this company, even though I'm starting to feel more bitter and annoyed with it every day - an annoyance I can't say will evaporate should I get the position I desire so badly.
I'm just so stuck. Not that I've worked for many different places throughout my life, but, I haven't found anything that makes me happy. It's only temporary. Although, working in the Ithaca Nature's Market was the closest I felt to happiness 100% of the time. Canandaigua was great, but, near the end I was dying to get out. And now, I feel the same way I did when I was so desperate to leave Canandaigua. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.
The couple of days that I did get to edit a few videos, I was really happy and content and at peace. Then asking me to go back to my assistant duties just sucked.
I know I waited a long time the first time I was to change departments at the Ithaca Wegmans. It was a couple of months and I was so close to quitting every single day that I could taste it. Then, the heavenly day came when I was told I would be moving from Subs to Bulk Foods. I was happy again. Maybe that is what's happening here. I'm being stretched thinner than I thought I could be to be soothed with the offer of not being a PA anymore.
I know I can hold out for a couple more months, to see where this ends up. I just need to stop bitching about it to myself and just keep working. I need to keep quiet and do my work as well as I can and see where it gets me. I can't complain to anyone else about this, save for Cody, so I needed to drop it on my LJ.