so i've decided that this is to be my weak journal
I've been cheating on LJ as most of you know. I got a blogspot thing and linked to my facebook and have been telling all the wonderful tales of the big city life.
But LJ will now be the dark side memoirs.
my life sucks ass. I know that it will take time to become used to the city, to make friends, to have a life here(rather than just living here). During that transition, I banked on talking to friends from my past to have someone to talk to, to make the cross over easier. But my best friend has decided to disown me. He has said that we aparently never were friends and he hates me now. He'll still call, but tells me how wrong I am for wanting to talk to him, cause he's back home and I am not there anymore.
Then there are all the people telling me how wrong I am for being in my apartment on the weekend on my days off. that I should be out building the new life. Well, in college, that is great advice, because there are always places to meet people(your floor, the student center, club of you choice) but in the real world?? Thats what separates the real world from the college(which is inherently, by default, NOT the real world). There is no general place to hang where people WANT to meet people. Coffee shops have nice people...nice people who are there for a reason which is not usually to meet people. and I'm not going to go out--spending money--in clubs or bars to meet people that i don't want to hang out with. It is a process, something that will happen over time.
but right now...if I made the final decision now...I'm done. I have enough money left for a uhaul to get my stuff and I'd leave. I always said i'd never go back to Htown even if I left here. And that stands out more now. I don't know what I have to even go home to. other than ridicule for not being strong enough. To all of those who are there for me, I don't mean to minimize your value in my life. Please know that. I don't talk as much to the people who encourage me--the people I ought be talking to--and so it seems all I hear is bad. Thank you, good people. I love you. and bad people, go to hell.
p.s. And no I'm not going to proof read my rant! yeah thats right, that's my form of protest! hear it here first, I'm a dork!
But LJ will now be the dark side memoirs.
my life sucks ass. I know that it will take time to become used to the city, to make friends, to have a life here(rather than just living here). During that transition, I banked on talking to friends from my past to have someone to talk to, to make the cross over easier. But my best friend has decided to disown me. He has said that we aparently never were friends and he hates me now. He'll still call, but tells me how wrong I am for wanting to talk to him, cause he's back home and I am not there anymore.
Then there are all the people telling me how wrong I am for being in my apartment on the weekend on my days off. that I should be out building the new life. Well, in college, that is great advice, because there are always places to meet people(your floor, the student center, club of you choice) but in the real world?? Thats what separates the real world from the college(which is inherently, by default, NOT the real world). There is no general place to hang where people WANT to meet people. Coffee shops have nice people...nice people who are there for a reason which is not usually to meet people. and I'm not going to go out--spending money--in clubs or bars to meet people that i don't want to hang out with. It is a process, something that will happen over time.
but right now...if I made the final decision now...I'm done. I have enough money left for a uhaul to get my stuff and I'd leave. I always said i'd never go back to Htown even if I left here. And that stands out more now. I don't know what I have to even go home to. other than ridicule for not being strong enough. To all of those who are there for me, I don't mean to minimize your value in my life. Please know that. I don't talk as much to the people who encourage me--the people I ought be talking to--and so it seems all I hear is bad. Thank you, good people. I love you. and bad people, go to hell.
p.s. And no I'm not going to proof read my rant! yeah thats right, that's my form of protest! hear it here first, I'm a dork!