I don't know why I'm so depressed
I guess I sort of hoped to hear from Heather at some point today, but I guess she's busy. I tried calling a couple times, but she just hung up on me without saying anything. She also didn't call like she said she would, and she hasn't answered any messages. The only response I've gotten all day was a message on myspace saying "call my house, it's really important". So I do and I don't get an answer. Things like that creep me out, and just as well worry the shit out of me. I have only a couple of things I can assume from all this, and none of which sound good except for that she may just be busy with friends, hanging out somewhere or something. I doubt it's something to worry about, but I just have a bad feeling out of impulse. I'm trying to chase away my anxiety with my prozac I keep downstairs, but I don't feel better. I just feel incapacitated. I have a show tonight, I hope I'm not too drugged up to play, cuz this stuff makes me an emotionless zombie. I'm not even in a good enough mood to play anymore either. So I'll probably suck major, that's also if my aunt ever shows up tonight to come watch my brother and sister for me. She's already a good 2 hours late. Not to mention she said she was bringing food, so I haven't eaten anything today in assumption that my aunt would feed me. The pills are making my stomach nautious without any food in it. 2 days ago, we took our dog to the animal shelter to have him put to sleep. I hate thinking that today he's probably dead, and it's not even a natural death. We might as well have just murdered him with our bare hands, cuz he still had time. His legs were cutting out and his bodily functions were jacked up, but he wasn't completely paralized. He could still find enough strength to walk, so I think that we were a little unfair to him, especially cuz we just set a deadline for the procedure. Sometimes I think my dog is just foreshadowing for something to come. For that matter...my step-dad's in the hospital again today, and my mom's been with him I assume. He'll be gone for a while. My brother showed up for maybe a half hour and then jet to some football game or something. So, I'm just really lonely today. I wish someone would call or show up. I don't do very well on my own. I especially wish Heather would call me to tell me what's going on, assuming there's something wrong.