Requirement #8: Rites Attended/Performed--complete draft
I'm in a bit of a quandary. The evaluation criteria list "not all 8 high days" as inadequate. The requirement as printed in the dp manual says nothing about needing to cover all eight. Regardless, I've tried to comply. But I've come up one short: I didn't do anything for the May Feast part of the year.
Hmm... what to do?
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Rites Performed
The first ten months of ADF membership were marked by failed rituals, awkward and senseless. It took a long time and a lot of effort to understand the Order of Ritual. Finally, I crafted my own liturgical style designed especially for solitaries, and performed my first unequivocally successful rite. The rite immediately following is where these essays begin.
Between April of 2006 and March of 2007, I performed nine major rites. Five were in ADF style, and are marked as such. The hearths vary. I was doing Norse at the time, but it didn’t feel right. Soon my Egyptian side called me away for a time to non-ADF rites. When I came back, Hellenic emerged as my direction.
ADF-style rites list the following info to show they are ADF: patrons, then offerings, then omen; below that, date, place, and gatekeeper. Omen systems used are the Haindl Tarot or a 3-coin toss.
‡ADF Style Spring Equinox: Eastre
Freya Eastre Ancestors
dance eastre eggs my genealogy
↓ ↓ ↓
3 of cups: overflowing
April 15, 2006: a wooded hilltop
Gatekeeper: Heimdall
I had trouble preparing for this rite. I researched a lot, but more and more I felt that I was only working myself into a well-studied hole.
The rite was devoted in part to Freya, a powerful but hardly forgiving personality in my view. This made it more than a little scary to offer a spontaneous dance. I ended up dramatizing the entire myth of how Freya acquired the necklace of the Brisings, and Frey’s fight with Beli. There was no one around to see, and no one near enough to hear, so I could be uninhibited and free. I found myself feeling each role, as well as discovering insights into the myths that I'd never seen before. The omen was splendid: 3 of Cups: Overflowing. I felt it was the best rite I’d ever done.
My self-designed liturgical style held up, and I was able to make some improvements. Mistakes included forgetting to bring enough sticks to form invocation runes for the gatekeeper and inspirer, as I had done for the patrons, and as a result I felt a little distant from those powers.
Interim - May Feast: Summer Finding rite scrapped
The Norse did not celebrate two different spring festivals, but one big one around the equinox. Thus I had planned to follow Eastre with an almost immediate May rite, nearly combined. But I was feeling ill at ease with the Norse hearth, couldn’t find more spring traditions that I identified with, had spent my creative energy on Eastre, and finally scrapped the rite.
Subsequent months found me more and more distanced from the Norse, and recalled by my Egyptian side.
Summer Solstice: Egyptian New Year
July 19, 2006: my apartment
A dream came from my non-ADF patron, Isis, and commanded a rite done in the style of the Church of the Eternal Source, with whom I had never worked before. The experience leading up to the rite was powerful, recalling my earliest initiation as a Pagan, even though the ritual itself went poorly.
For ADF purposes, the most interesting part was comparing and contrasting the two ritual styles. For example, ADF makes peace with the Outsiders while CES commands and threatens them. ADF uses an open grove while CES visualizes an enclosed temple of white light, cutting off view of the heavens and nature. ADF has a detailed ritual outline with significant closure, while CES has a vague and sparse outline with almost no closure at all. But on the other hand, CES has eloquent, poetic, repeated speeches, while ADF tends toward wordy, prosaic speeches different every time. And CES as an organization has a much more coherent self-presentation, which ADF might do well to contemplate.
August Feast: Fellowship of Isis Rite of Good Health
September 9, 2006: my apartment
This rite was done near the time of the August Feast. It was the last of my years-long work with the Fellowship of Isis, culminating and terminating my relationship with them. FOI takes a very different ritual approach: the rite honored no less than eight beings, with no specific offerings for any. Rather, all are honored as facets of one goddess, whose worship is more about personal development than sacrifice. FOI ritual style tends to evoke more raw feeling in me than ADF, yet also leaves me with more post-ritual blues. FOI rites are strangely cobbled from all different cultures, for an effect so disconcerting that I shall never argue with ADF’s insistence against mixing pantheons.
The rite did go well, however, with feelings of divine presence and the portentous appearance of a spider.
‡ ADF Style Autumn Equinox: Invitation to Demeter, and Eleusinian Rites
Demeter
ham bakchoi grain chant of epithets
↓ ↓ ↓
6 of cups: happiness
September 23, 2006, dawn: a wooded hillside
Gatekeeper: Fox
My Egyptian rites left me feeling renewed with Isis but adrift for a path. CES and FOI were not for me. I returned to ADF, and sought a way to reconcile the two sides, Egyptian and Indo-European. I decided to seek a Greek power with whom Isis was long associated: Demeter.
Now, one reason the Norse hearth didn't pan out for me was because I didn't get off on the right foot with the deities. At the time I thought the main goal of a high day rite was to recognize a sacred time of year-the deities were rather secondary. As I developed perspective, however, my goal became to establish a ghosti relationship with the powers, especially at a sacred time of year.
So, I focused on approaching Demeter, respectfully and from an appropriate distance, as if meeting a renowned philanthropist or leader for the first time. I asked for “introductions” to Demeter from powers I’d already honored: Isis and O-Inari, god of my town’s Shinto shrine. O-Inari is associated with foxes, and so for the gatekeeper I enlisted a nature spirit, the Fox. In that way I managed to curry non-Indo-European favor without mixing pantheons.
For the rite itself I dusted off my liturgical format, made improvements to the blessings section, and added a chant of some fifty-six titles and epithets of Demeter. When I performed the rite, I had difficulty feeling the powers, possibly due to the amount of preparation and hopefulness I put into it. When the omen came through overwhelmingly positive, however, I felt a connection.
That connection was confirmed when, in the following month, my family in America held a memorial service for my great-grandmother. I couldn’t be there, and felt a need for a simultaneous service here in Japan. Demeter, whose cult has much to do with death and rebirth, immediately flashed across my mind. In fact, it seemed the earlier rite to Demeter had been but preparation for this one. The memorial service went well, challenged me in numerous ways, and significantly deepened my relationship with the Kindreds. I felt I’d passed a milestone on my path, and I was able to say goodbye to my great-grandmother.
November Feast: the Isia
October 28-November 3, 2006: my apartment
The November Feast is always an important time for my Egyptian side. It is the Isia: six days of mourning for the loss and death of Osiris, followed by a final day of jubilation at his discovery and rebirth. I observed with prayer and offerings at my Isis altar, and by wearing black for six days and white for the seventh.
It is worth noting that by this time my devotions to Isis had come under ADF influence. I replaced my altar’s old four-elements theme with a two-powers theme. Offerings became central. And rites incorporated the same musical signals for beginning and ending. Thus, while the liturgical content remained distinct, my Egyptian and Indo-European sides grew more integrated.
‡ ADF Style Winter Solstice: Yule
Cerridwen Gwion Bach
black beer poem 12 candles
↓ ↓ ↓
father of wands: brahma (king of wands)
December 18, 2006, dawn: my apartment
Gatekeeper: Manannan
Confident in my own liturgical style, I decided to branch out into others’ styles. Also, I wanted to try associating with a grove. So New Mexico’s Enchanted Desert Protogrove and I simultaneously performed the Yule rite from Skip’s book, The Solitary Druid.
I found myself back where I was nine months ago, unsure of myself, saying words not my own, appealing to an unfamiliar hearth. But I was also determined. After weeks of practice, the rite was awkward but successful. The omen seemed to indicate what I needed to do to improve: relax, and take a more objective approach. I experienced a vision during the two powers meditation, and a flood of joy at the lighting of the candles.
‡ ADF Style February Feast: Imbolc
Brid
incense brigit’s cross drum rhythms 9 candles
↓ ↓ ↓
9 of wands: power
February 5, 2006, dawn: my apartment
Gatekeeper: Manannan
I was determined to make a decent rite of Skip’s book, so I tried again. Once again, it was simultaneous with Enchanted Desert. This time the rite was smooth and confident. For the first time, traditional Pagan chants started to come alive for me. I also incorporated a sonnet for Manannan.
I also had a bit of work today. A recent omen indicated that my late great-grandmother needed a little more help. So I offered incense to her as well in the “workings” section.
The rite went well but I just wasn’t satisfied with the style, hearth, or grove associations.
‡ ADF Style Spring Equinox: Anthesteria
day one: Pithoigia
Dionysos
wine erotic literature
↓ ↓ ↓
tails-heads-tails
March 19, 2006, sunset: in a special outdoor sanctuary built from snow
Gatekeeper: Hermes
day two: Khoes
Dionysos Ariadne Orestes Ikarios the Keres
incense wine flowers
↓ ↓ ↓
tails-heads-tails
March 20, 2006, night: in a special outdoor sanctuary built from snow
Gatekeeper: Hermes
day three: Khytroi
Hermes Kthonios Ancestors
black coffee coins honey and grain pottage
↓ ↓ ↓
heads-heads-tails
March 21, 2006, morning: in a special outdoor sanctuary built from snow
Gatekeeper: Hermes
Traditionally, the dates of the 3-day Anthesteria are closer to the February Feast. But the name is associated with “blooming” and Hokkaido is certainly not blooming in February. I chose spring instead.
These rites were the most inspired since the Autumn Equinox for Demeter. I returned to my own liturgical style. The first day, Pithoigia, is a day of drinking and joy, and I packed in as many songs and chants as I could. The second, Khoes, is a day of impurity, disruption of order, and rites of passage; I did it silently, entirely through gesture. The final day, Khytroi, is a grave day for the ancestors; I performed it all in a solemn, spoken voice, with offerings of black coffee in place of alcohol. These rites balanced each other, challenged my creativity and sense of drama, and deepened my understanding of Dionysos. I never thought the god of wine had such a grave and serious side.
The omen system, a 3-coin toss, was developed by myself for times when a more traditional method may not be at hand. The first and second days revealed the same thing: tails-heads-tails, emphasizing the present moment, most appropriate for Dionysos. The last day revealed heads-heads-tails, forecasting an eventual fall, most appropriate for a day of the dead.
Much like autumn’s Demeter rite, this one was followed by an unfortunate occurrence. A friend of mine from work and taiko drumming died of pancreatic cancer. This cast the memory of these rites in a stark and realistic light. A fox met me on the way home from taiko practice, looking me straight in the eyes as if waiting for me. This too connected to the Demeter rite. When I attended the funeral, I felt all these powers of death and rebirth were helping me to say goodbye to my friend.