It's a good idea. The daily blog check in thing. If your strapped for time, then perhaps you should make it about who ever had the greatest need on a particular day or just who ever happens to be out.
I think that part of why school goes so well when he's out is because he doesn't have the same fears as Stefanie and no one else realizes that he's NOT Stefanie.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I suspect that his inside world is much more pleasant than the outside world. Inside he can create anything he wants...or at least that is my understanding. On the inside he can create deep woods with lovely outdoor surroundings. Am I wrong?
You guys just do the best you can and try not to worry. Someone will always front if someone else can't do it. I thought that perhaps Forrest might be grooming Alex for the job, but who knows? Somebody will always be there if needed.....somebody always has been,eh?
Maybe you could buy several indoor plants? I know its not the same as being outdoors, but I don't know anything about making the indoors more outdoors. A friend of mine has a lot of bonsai trees and little buddha statues all over her office. Would Forest like that? Hey if he wants to put a tent up in the living room, who's going to tell him not to? :-)
Tent in the living room.brandon2431February 16 2009, 08:00:23 UTC
You got a great laugh out of us with that one, Melly. You know us too well by now, for someone we haven't even met face to face. (Oh no, she's on to us!) :)
Forest used to actually have a tent in our back yard. (Don't think there's room for one in the living room.) :)
So - quid pro quo time. We get to ask a question now.
Is he actually fitting some kind of stereotype that you're familiar with from your studies - ?
I'm asking because, I know Alex definitely fits a stereotype. I don't want to be misdiagnosed again....but if all this is fitting a pattern that I, and we, are not familiar with, I think it would help all of us to be familiarized with it.
(I do realize this takes up your time, and we're not paying you....but then again, maybe there's something we have to contribute to the knowledge you will need when you graduate. Fair trade - ?)
Oh. Also. That was pretty close, about Forest and Alex. They both serve as protectors in here, to the point where they very seldom sleep at the same time. Internally, we have a camp fire that's always burning, and has to be tended - often when Forest has to be in the house for whatever reason, it *is* Alex who watches the fire.
Re: Tent in the living room.melly1022February 17 2009, 01:30:05 UTC
Hey there! :-) I'd be THRILLED to talk with you, ask questions, etc. any time you want to. Trust me...anything you have to tell me about your experiences with your inner family is worth WAY more that anything I could do for you. :-) And I'd be completely honored for you to think of me as a sort of mentor/confidant? Does that sound similar to what you were thinking of? If you like I could give you my personal email - or is there some other sort of arrangement that you'd like?
As for what I know about Forest.....trust me, you know more than I do. Most of my opinions have come from your own journal writings. As for how he comes across to me, I see a gentle warrior, protector and a shaman of sorts. He's very wise yet younger than most people would imagine. He's usually calm and quiet, but don't think that he's a pushover.....he's not. He's simply wise with his power. That's one of the reasons why I mentioned bonsai trees and Buddha in my earlier post....I imagine him being very spiritually connected through nature like a Taoist or a Buddhist might be. He's long-suffering. He does a great deal of taking care of his inner and outer family, yet he has needs too.....that rarely get met. I think that the little things you've done lately like opening up the curtains in your room so he can see the sky and trees and the binoculars are GREAT ideas. Also, the indoor plants....get as many as you can. That way he can have plants and you can do some indoor "gardening". Have you ever grown an indoor herbal garden? It can be fun for someone with limited space.
As for a stereotype that he fits - well I don't like to put someone in a box.....people are more complicated than that. However, in a dysfunctional home, say where the father is an abusive alcoholic, there are several stereotypical categories that each person in the family fits into. Using that framework as a guide I would have to say the Forest fits into the "superhero" category. Always working to save everyone while his own needs get shoved to the back. What do you think?
Let me know how you all feel about questions going back and forth and if everyone is ok with it then you are more than welcome to contact me anytime with anything. :-) Melody
Re: Personal e-mail, Livejournal.brandon2431February 17 2009, 03:14:04 UTC
Hi, Melly.
Wow, thank you for offering to share what you've learned and what you're learning with us.
We'd love to exchange personal e-mail addresses with you. A lot of what we write about here, though, we'd like to keep on Livejournal, and eventually go back and take off the friends-only lock at some point, when we're sure we won't be endangering ourselves or our family in any way. (Have to think of our kids and any future grandkids, how they would be affected by what we post here - we know you know how that one is.)
The reason behind that is, we like to think that somebody might benefit from our experience. Our highest hope is that it might prevent another multi from going through what we've gone through in asking for help with depression, and for what turned out to be PTSD, and then coming out to professionals as multi. There are so many stereotypes around that, it just all went very wrong. (For one thing, we never needed to have our multiplicity 'fixed'. We've always needed to have it accepted. Not underplayed, not overplayed - just accepted.)
Going to answer the rest of your reply later. Again, thanks.
Inside more pleasant than outside.brandon2431February 16 2009, 21:17:25 UTC
Hi, Melly.
You're right about our inside world being more pleasant than the outside.
But no, Forest can't make something appear just by wanting it or imagining it. None of us can. (Maybe that's unfortunate, maybe not.)
Everything in our inner world has to be manifested in some way in our outer world, or it just doesn't seem real.
For instance, our inside parkland and town are based of an actual local park and town that we can physically visit, and often do. The farm lands around our park, are farms our family members have owned or worked on - and we have to be doing some kind of gardening in the physical world, in order to maintain them. (Which has been a challenge, in an apartment!) If something goes wrong in our physical world, it shows up in our inner world, and in our dreams. Hope that makes some sense. We've run in to trouble in the past, with therapists insisting that we visualize this or that, and then make it happen. (Had one T try to transform Alex into a girl.) Anyway, think you get the idea.
The good thing about this is: it really puts us in touch with our own inner soul, and our true feelings about what goes on around us in the physical world, how things really do affect us. We've spoken with other multis who experience inner space in entirely different ways, so we don't think it always goes our way, or their way, or *any* way. But that's how it is for us.
(We did find a type of indoor plant that Forest likes.) :)
I think that part of why school goes so well when he's out is because he doesn't have the same fears as Stefanie and no one else realizes that he's NOT Stefanie.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I suspect that his inside world is much more pleasant than the outside world. Inside he can create anything he wants...or at least that is my understanding. On the inside he can create deep woods with lovely outdoor surroundings. Am I wrong?
You guys just do the best you can and try not to worry. Someone will always front if someone else can't do it. I thought that perhaps Forrest might be grooming Alex for the job, but who knows? Somebody will always be there if needed.....somebody always has been,eh?
Maybe you could buy several indoor plants? I know its not the same as being outdoors, but I don't know anything about making the indoors more outdoors. A friend of mine has a lot of bonsai trees and little buddha statues all over her office. Would Forest like that? Hey if he wants to put a tent up in the living room, who's going to tell him not to? :-)
Reply
You know us too well by now, for someone we haven't even met face to face. (Oh no, she's on to us!) :)
Forest used to actually have a tent in our back yard.
(Don't think there's room for one in the living room.) :)
So - quid pro quo time. We get to ask a question now.
Is he actually fitting some kind of stereotype that you're familiar with from your studies - ?
I'm asking because, I know Alex definitely fits a stereotype.
I don't want to be misdiagnosed again....but if all this is fitting a pattern that I, and we, are not familiar with, I think it would help all of us to be familiarized with it.
(I do realize this takes up your time, and we're not paying you....but then again, maybe there's something we have to contribute to the knowledge you will need when you graduate. Fair trade - ?)
Oh. Also. That was pretty close, about Forest and Alex. They both serve as protectors in here, to the point where they very seldom sleep at the same time.
Internally, we have a camp fire that's always burning, and has to be tended - often when Forest has to be in the house for whatever reason, it *is* Alex who watches the fire.
So you were pretty on target there.
Reply
As for what I know about Forest.....trust me, you know more than I do. Most of my opinions have come from your own journal writings. As for how he comes across to me, I see a gentle warrior, protector and a shaman of sorts. He's very wise yet younger than most people would imagine. He's usually calm and quiet, but don't think that he's a pushover.....he's not. He's simply wise with his power. That's one of the reasons why I mentioned bonsai trees and Buddha in my earlier post....I imagine him being very spiritually connected through nature like a Taoist or a Buddhist might be. He's long-suffering. He does a great deal of taking care of his inner and outer family, yet he has needs too.....that rarely get met. I think that the little things you've done lately like opening up the curtains in your room so he can see the sky and trees and the binoculars are GREAT ideas. Also, the indoor plants....get as many as you can. That way he can have plants and you can do some indoor "gardening". Have you ever grown an indoor herbal garden? It can be fun for someone with limited space.
As for a stereotype that he fits - well I don't like to put someone in a box.....people are more complicated than that. However, in a dysfunctional home, say where the father is an abusive alcoholic, there are several stereotypical categories that each person in the family fits into. Using that framework as a guide I would have to say the Forest fits into the "superhero" category. Always working to save everyone while his own needs get shoved to the back. What do you think?
Let me know how you all feel about questions going back and forth and if everyone is ok with it then you are more than welcome to contact me anytime with anything. :-)
Melody
Reply
Wow, thank you for offering to share what you've learned and what you're learning with us.
We'd love to exchange personal e-mail addresses with you. A lot of what we write about here, though, we'd like to keep on Livejournal, and eventually go back and take off the friends-only lock at some point, when we're sure we won't be endangering ourselves or our family in any way. (Have to think of our kids and any future grandkids, how they would be affected by what we post here - we know you know how that one is.)
The reason behind that is, we like to think that somebody might benefit from our experience. Our highest hope is that it might prevent another multi from going through what we've gone through in asking for help with depression, and for what turned out to be PTSD, and then coming out to professionals as multi. There are so many stereotypes around that, it just all went very wrong. (For one thing, we never needed to have our multiplicity 'fixed'. We've always needed to have it accepted. Not underplayed, not overplayed - just accepted.)
Going to answer the rest of your reply later. Again, thanks.
Reply
mdayer@charter.net
Reply
You're right about our inside world being more pleasant than the outside.
But no, Forest can't make something appear just by wanting it or imagining it. None of us can. (Maybe that's unfortunate, maybe not.)
Everything in our inner world has to be manifested in some way in our outer world, or it just doesn't seem real.
For instance, our inside parkland and town are based of an actual local park and town that we can physically visit, and often do. The farm lands around our park, are farms our family members have owned or worked on - and we have to be doing some kind of gardening in the physical world, in order to maintain them. (Which has been a challenge, in an apartment!)
If something goes wrong in our physical world, it shows up in our inner world, and in our dreams.
Hope that makes some sense.
We've run in to trouble in the past, with therapists insisting that we visualize this or that, and then make it happen. (Had one T try to transform Alex into a girl.)
Anyway, think you get the idea.
The good thing about this is: it really puts us in touch with our own inner soul, and our true feelings about what goes on around us in the physical world, how things really do affect us.
We've spoken with other multis who experience inner space in entirely different ways, so we don't think it always goes our way, or their way, or *any* way. But that's how it is for us.
(We did find a type of indoor plant that Forest likes.) :)
Reply
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