Lather, Rinse, Repeat
To describe how it feels to be back at home can’t be described with words. It is a feeling of being complete, for lack of a better way to describe it. After spending a few months on the other side of the planet with people that did not know me, understand me, or relate to me in any way, I finally felt at ‘home’ by being with my family. I was at home the second I stepped into their arms and sat in the car for the ride to my house. I felt so great to at last be home. Home home home was where I wanted to be for the past couple of months. Even though I saw some amazing things and met wonderful people, there are no more wonderful things and amazing people like the ones that I call home. It was wonderful to get back to them. It is an emotion that I cannot describe in any way, but if you have ever felt it, you know exactly what I am talking about. It is also a feeling that I strongly suggest trying to feel. So get out of here for a while. It’s something that you will never forget. I have felt it twice in my lifetime so far, and this time was more intense than the last. I can’t wait to feel that awesome power again and again.
When I did get off the airplane, I hit the ground running. Since I have been home I have been extremely busy. Trying to visit friends and get adjusted back to the time difference getting my job back and relaxing with my family took me a few days, and 5 days after my return, I was already back in the rat-race and at work again. I have had a total of 5 days off since I came back home 3 weeks ago. In that time I have also been busy with numerous other things. I have been getting my resume together and job searching searching searching. I want to teach English like I was doing in Thailand, only here at home. I am also working to start my own creative writing workshops through several vocational schools. I am back to studying music in my spare time and have been playing my guitar regularly again (much to the dismay of my sister who I keep awake at night with my playing), which helps to keep me sane, something I was missing terribly while in Thailand. Also, I was contacted by a friend from Oneonta about starting a literary magazine, which I gladly accepted the offer and have been helping a bit with it since then. The magazine’s premier publication actually begins tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for “blank magazine.” I’ll try to keep everyone updated on how it is coming along as we progress through it. I haven’t had much time to rest, but I am hoping that it will all be worth it.
I feel like I’m just washing my hair though now that I’m home. Life is just a routine now. I don’t have as much time to read and write anymore which is a real drag. I haven’t been able to touch my novel since I left Koh Phangnan, almost a month ago. But with recent events that have occurred, I at least know how it’s going to end now. Maybe?
At least I found a new hobby, which is killing zombies. The new obsession I have fallen into is called Dead Rising for 360. The game is so much fun and humorous and has a great storyline. The whole metaphor for zombies within the human society has always fascinated me. The fight for survival over those that are below us, those that fall into a crowd. Or even the idea of what we really think we need to survive is really just crap that bogs us down while death still looms after us at a lurching gait. Or the thought that we are all zombies driven to be consumers of ‘flesh’ and the desperate and constant attempt to be ‘human’ by doing so. Or how we are now under a wary and paranoid state and constantly worried about some sort of terrorist attack in which our whole entire world will be flipped upside down and nothing will be familiar to us. Or how we as consumers will always be hungry for more and never satisfied no matter how many bodies we chew up and spit back out in bloody bits of pulp and sinew that dribbles past our cracking lips and rotting cheeks. This game touches on all of these ideas in some way or another. Interesting how people just think of some horror movies as just mindless fun.
Several days ago I went to a ‘Saranac Thursday,’ which is a night where about 75% of the Utica area packs itself into one street for drinking. I was completely surrounded by Uticans of all types, sizes, smells, sobriety levels and social statuses. I have to say that I felt very uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many white people. I felt a buzz of too much activity around me and my senses felt overwhelmed by the environment. I could actually understand everything that was going on around me, and my brain was not used to having to take in everything at once again. It was so used to being lax and only worrying about what was actually happening in front of me.
Over the past few weeks of being home I have come to the realization that world travel is not for everyone. Some people view the world as fitting into the confines of what they ‘know’ and anything outside of their world is not worth their time because it doesn’t fit into some category that they know. In other words, some people are just too ignorant to open up their minds to another culture, another way of life, or even another city. I know people that have never left central NY and probably never will. They believe that where they live is the center of the world and anything outside of it is not worth their time. I am not saying that those who are not fortunate enough to have traveled in their lifetime fall into this category. I am speaking about closed-minded people that view other cultures as lower than their own. Many people see non-native English speaking people as inferior and think that it is a nuisance to have people that do not understand English in their country. They think that “if they are here they should speak the language or get out,” as I politely heard someone say tonight. I feel that people that act and think this way are ignorant, selfish and rude people. It frustrates me beyond the ability to explain myself when I meet people like this and I can do nothing but walk away because of the anger that rises in me (if any of you know me, you know that I do not get angry over much of anything). Hopefully I can let this settle in my mind for a bit and explain myself better in the near future.
More venting to come soon. I promise. I’m tired and not making sense right now.
When I did get off the airplane, I hit the ground running. Since I have been home I have been extremely busy. Trying to visit friends and get adjusted back to the time difference getting my job back and relaxing with my family took me a few days, and 5 days after my return, I was already back in the rat-race and at work again. I have had a total of 5 days off since I came back home 3 weeks ago. In that time I have also been busy with numerous other things. I have been getting my resume together and job searching searching searching. I want to teach English like I was doing in Thailand, only here at home. I am also working to start my own creative writing workshops through several vocational schools. I am back to studying music in my spare time and have been playing my guitar regularly again (much to the dismay of my sister who I keep awake at night with my playing), which helps to keep me sane, something I was missing terribly while in Thailand. Also, I was contacted by a friend from Oneonta about starting a literary magazine, which I gladly accepted the offer and have been helping a bit with it since then. The magazine’s premier publication actually begins tomorrow, so keep your eyes peeled for “blank magazine.” I’ll try to keep everyone updated on how it is coming along as we progress through it. I haven’t had much time to rest, but I am hoping that it will all be worth it.
I feel like I’m just washing my hair though now that I’m home. Life is just a routine now. I don’t have as much time to read and write anymore which is a real drag. I haven’t been able to touch my novel since I left Koh Phangnan, almost a month ago. But with recent events that have occurred, I at least know how it’s going to end now. Maybe?
At least I found a new hobby, which is killing zombies. The new obsession I have fallen into is called Dead Rising for 360. The game is so much fun and humorous and has a great storyline. The whole metaphor for zombies within the human society has always fascinated me. The fight for survival over those that are below us, those that fall into a crowd. Or even the idea of what we really think we need to survive is really just crap that bogs us down while death still looms after us at a lurching gait. Or the thought that we are all zombies driven to be consumers of ‘flesh’ and the desperate and constant attempt to be ‘human’ by doing so. Or how we are now under a wary and paranoid state and constantly worried about some sort of terrorist attack in which our whole entire world will be flipped upside down and nothing will be familiar to us. Or how we as consumers will always be hungry for more and never satisfied no matter how many bodies we chew up and spit back out in bloody bits of pulp and sinew that dribbles past our cracking lips and rotting cheeks. This game touches on all of these ideas in some way or another. Interesting how people just think of some horror movies as just mindless fun.
Several days ago I went to a ‘Saranac Thursday,’ which is a night where about 75% of the Utica area packs itself into one street for drinking. I was completely surrounded by Uticans of all types, sizes, smells, sobriety levels and social statuses. I have to say that I felt very uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many white people. I felt a buzz of too much activity around me and my senses felt overwhelmed by the environment. I could actually understand everything that was going on around me, and my brain was not used to having to take in everything at once again. It was so used to being lax and only worrying about what was actually happening in front of me.
Over the past few weeks of being home I have come to the realization that world travel is not for everyone. Some people view the world as fitting into the confines of what they ‘know’ and anything outside of their world is not worth their time because it doesn’t fit into some category that they know. In other words, some people are just too ignorant to open up their minds to another culture, another way of life, or even another city. I know people that have never left central NY and probably never will. They believe that where they live is the center of the world and anything outside of it is not worth their time. I am not saying that those who are not fortunate enough to have traveled in their lifetime fall into this category. I am speaking about closed-minded people that view other cultures as lower than their own. Many people see non-native English speaking people as inferior and think that it is a nuisance to have people that do not understand English in their country. They think that “if they are here they should speak the language or get out,” as I politely heard someone say tonight. I feel that people that act and think this way are ignorant, selfish and rude people. It frustrates me beyond the ability to explain myself when I meet people like this and I can do nothing but walk away because of the anger that rises in me (if any of you know me, you know that I do not get angry over much of anything). Hopefully I can let this settle in my mind for a bit and explain myself better in the near future.
More venting to come soon. I promise. I’m tired and not making sense right now.