The things you own, end up owning you.
I think a person’s sense of security is measured by the amount of ‘stuff’ that they have. A person that has a lot of things may not necessarily feel secure with themselves and who they are as a person. They say, “as long as I have this stuff, I’ll be ok.” As if the things that they have fill the voids that they really have within themselves. Or that by having these things it makes them a better person in life.
“The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.”
Over the past few months I have become much more self-secure and self-confident. This being realized, I have taken great steps to get rid of a lot of my ‘stuff.’ When I got home from school for good, I cleaned out 3 bags of garbage and 2 bags of clothing that I didn’t need anymore that was stockpiled in my room. When I was in Thailand for those few months I realized that I completely over packed and could have went with bringing about 2/3 of what I brought. My back paid the price for it though when I had to carry it from island to island. When I got home, I did some more cleansing and I now have empty drawers in my dresser, underneath my bed only has sneakers and guitars. My bookcase is still full of books. That won’t change. I’ll always be working on my personal library. My closet still has a lot of clothes in it that I don’t need anymore, especially, as many of you know, since I wear the same damn thing every day anyways (how many pictures of me in a blue t-shirt are out there? Probably a buh-jillion). I feel so much better about myself and my life the more things I get rid of. As if I am cleaning out parts of my heart that have been left in the corner to dust and mold and take up space that I needed for other things. A weight was lifted as I tossed out pieces of me that no longer mattered anymore.
“Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was ME!” - Ed Norton - Fight Club
I have learned to simplify my life a little bit more (I think). I once thought that ‘stuff’ would make me happy. That having something that someone else didn’t have would make me a better and happier person in the long run. I’ve gradually learned, and been shown, that you don’t need to be surrounded by things to be happy. I have seen people that have absolutely nothing, living on dirt floors with no plumbing, jobs, beds, watches, cell phones, cars, or televisions, and they are happy happy happy. It made me cry to see them so happy with nothing. They laughed and smiled and danced and played and sang as if the rest of the world didn’t matter.
Because it doesn’t.
It was such a paradox to come home to see the complete opposite. People who have everything are left desiring more and more and more until they have everything that they could possibly think of. I sit and think and wonder if they have the same voids as the rest of capitalist consumer America within themselves that haven’t been filled. Places that money couldn't dip its fingers into. Things that consumerism haven’t found a way to bottle up and sell on shelves for $xx.xx, yet. Sometimes when I look around myself at this place I live in, this country, the people that live here, it makes me nauseous. We have all become products of what ‘they’ sell to us. The worst part of it all is that we all fall prey to it. I can’t even help myself. While I was gone, I never once thought about nice cars, or having designer clothes or dressing in a certain style or what sort of image and first impression I should be making to anyone. I got to be myself, and for once, in one section of the world, that was enough.
“The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.”
Over the past few months I have become much more self-secure and self-confident. This being realized, I have taken great steps to get rid of a lot of my ‘stuff.’ When I got home from school for good, I cleaned out 3 bags of garbage and 2 bags of clothing that I didn’t need anymore that was stockpiled in my room. When I was in Thailand for those few months I realized that I completely over packed and could have went with bringing about 2/3 of what I brought. My back paid the price for it though when I had to carry it from island to island. When I got home, I did some more cleansing and I now have empty drawers in my dresser, underneath my bed only has sneakers and guitars. My bookcase is still full of books. That won’t change. I’ll always be working on my personal library. My closet still has a lot of clothes in it that I don’t need anymore, especially, as many of you know, since I wear the same damn thing every day anyways (how many pictures of me in a blue t-shirt are out there? Probably a buh-jillion). I feel so much better about myself and my life the more things I get rid of. As if I am cleaning out parts of my heart that have been left in the corner to dust and mold and take up space that I needed for other things. A weight was lifted as I tossed out pieces of me that no longer mattered anymore.
“Look, nobody takes this more seriously than me. That condo was my life, okay? I loved every stick of furniture in that place. That was not just a bunch of stuff that got destroyed, it was ME!” - Ed Norton - Fight Club
I have learned to simplify my life a little bit more (I think). I once thought that ‘stuff’ would make me happy. That having something that someone else didn’t have would make me a better and happier person in the long run. I’ve gradually learned, and been shown, that you don’t need to be surrounded by things to be happy. I have seen people that have absolutely nothing, living on dirt floors with no plumbing, jobs, beds, watches, cell phones, cars, or televisions, and they are happy happy happy. It made me cry to see them so happy with nothing. They laughed and smiled and danced and played and sang as if the rest of the world didn’t matter.
Because it doesn’t.
It was such a paradox to come home to see the complete opposite. People who have everything are left desiring more and more and more until they have everything that they could possibly think of. I sit and think and wonder if they have the same voids as the rest of capitalist consumer America within themselves that haven’t been filled. Places that money couldn't dip its fingers into. Things that consumerism haven’t found a way to bottle up and sell on shelves for $xx.xx, yet. Sometimes when I look around myself at this place I live in, this country, the people that live here, it makes me nauseous. We have all become products of what ‘they’ sell to us. The worst part of it all is that we all fall prey to it. I can’t even help myself. While I was gone, I never once thought about nice cars, or having designer clothes or dressing in a certain style or what sort of image and first impression I should be making to anyone. I got to be myself, and for once, in one section of the world, that was enough.