plans get complex
Thx, Brooke for the best song title ever that I relate to everything but especially tunnels. i.e. MySpace pics.
Anyways, it’s so hard to have had friends. And have those friends call me when I don't want to talk to them. And have friends that I tell not to call me, tell me go suck a dick and that I better watch my back. Maybe I said things I shouldn't have said, such as that I trust your brother; the jailbird dude that I always felt treated me differently than anyone else. I thought he saw that I wasn’t down with B.S. and that he would tell me straight. But now I put your word against his. And in the end nothing changed. I still am without a friend that I trusted more than my own brother. And to hear the anger and sadness in your voice really hurt. But what am I to do? I don't want you sitting outside my house waiting to get me or shooting up, or hittin the rock or whatever you do at 3 am. You probably think I don't give two shits about you like everyone else. But you don’t know how hard the last 4 months have been realizing that I had lost a friend that no other friend could compare too. You were the first person other than my brother and some stupid girl that I let completely into my world and felt comfortable with it. I thought you could never do anything to break my trust above all, thought that you would never do that to me. But how do I learn when I don’t take chances, and you got your chance.
ever since the one day I let you hold my dough and I watched yours and her face, and how you carefully chose your words not to blow it, and tip me off that I wasn’t getting what I wanted, I haven’t been able to trust anyone. It’s something I did to test you but, I was more wrong to do that, then what you two have done to me. And you above anyone should know me, you saw me as most people never will, and I felt fine with it.
Trust with friends has always been hard for me. Trying to figure out who really is my friend. I’ll never forget the last day of 6th grade when my best friend told me he was moving away. I’ll never forget seeing OUR friends go off and make bad decision after bad decision. And I watched our friends that were smarter then you or I get away from the drama, get away from the childish behavior and get away from chemicals ruling our lives. Even if I don’t talk to you again, you’re always going to have been one of my closest friends.
I just wish I could tell you how hard it’s been. I could tell from your voice that it’s gonna be hard for you too, but it’s for the best, I need to grow up and you need to learn to take care of yourself.
Anyways, it’s so hard to have had friends. And have those friends call me when I don't want to talk to them. And have friends that I tell not to call me, tell me go suck a dick and that I better watch my back. Maybe I said things I shouldn't have said, such as that I trust your brother; the jailbird dude that I always felt treated me differently than anyone else. I thought he saw that I wasn’t down with B.S. and that he would tell me straight. But now I put your word against his. And in the end nothing changed. I still am without a friend that I trusted more than my own brother. And to hear the anger and sadness in your voice really hurt. But what am I to do? I don't want you sitting outside my house waiting to get me or shooting up, or hittin the rock or whatever you do at 3 am. You probably think I don't give two shits about you like everyone else. But you don’t know how hard the last 4 months have been realizing that I had lost a friend that no other friend could compare too. You were the first person other than my brother and some stupid girl that I let completely into my world and felt comfortable with it. I thought you could never do anything to break my trust above all, thought that you would never do that to me. But how do I learn when I don’t take chances, and you got your chance.
ever since the one day I let you hold my dough and I watched yours and her face, and how you carefully chose your words not to blow it, and tip me off that I wasn’t getting what I wanted, I haven’t been able to trust anyone. It’s something I did to test you but, I was more wrong to do that, then what you two have done to me. And you above anyone should know me, you saw me as most people never will, and I felt fine with it.
Trust with friends has always been hard for me. Trying to figure out who really is my friend. I’ll never forget the last day of 6th grade when my best friend told me he was moving away. I’ll never forget seeing OUR friends go off and make bad decision after bad decision. And I watched our friends that were smarter then you or I get away from the drama, get away from the childish behavior and get away from chemicals ruling our lives. Even if I don’t talk to you again, you’re always going to have been one of my closest friends.
I just wish I could tell you how hard it’s been. I could tell from your voice that it’s gonna be hard for you too, but it’s for the best, I need to grow up and you need to learn to take care of yourself.