(no subject)
I'm back from Paris. I'm not sure I will ever get away from livejournal.
I always come back and I never want to branch away; I have tried many times.
I guess there's just too much history, or maybe it's because I'm really old and these new "blog" websites just don't appeal to me.
Although, I do enjoy being the audience.
I have a lot to update and I probably won't ever get to it, but I got some pictures to remember, right?
I have the sudden urge to talk about him because I don't capture the good enough, therefore foregoing my plan to do my nails. I say that like it's a big deal, but i've been waiting all day to come home and pamper myself because it's been a rough day.
He is the first man that I trust. It's a really weird feeling. My neediness and clinginess has slowly been disappearing. I'm able to analyze our relationship in a healthier light - stepping away when I need to. It's because I trust that he will be there for me no matter what. With that in mind, I don't feel like I need his presence. I don't need his attention, because just knowing that he'd be there for me is enough.
I have become more independent. In the back of my mind, I've always thought that I would have to be single for a long time to learn how. It's made me really nervous this entire time in our relationship because I knew I had to really be able to figure out my rollercoaster emotions on my own and slowly, I'm really getting it.
Even though I say I'm uninspired all the time and I bitch about not doing more with my life, I enjoy the down time I have for myself - without any attention. As much as I would like to spend tomorrow night with him, I want to be alone on this Friday night. I really look forward to relaxing by myself as I slowly transition back to my life. Ever since I landed on Sunday night, it's been gogogo and I need to just chill the fuck out for more than a second. I want to get back to pampering myself and organizing my room so I can be inspired by my closet.
Oh. Speaking of closet, i told myself I would shop a little tonight because I have been working way too much at work. Many people don't think that's the best way to de-stress, but I work hard for my money and I deserve it.