Red Bull ah ha ha bitches
Red Bull + Happiness = This long entry
Excitment. Happiness. Love. Worry. Anger. Anxiousness. Disappointed. Tired. Cheerful. Stressed. Thankful.
More like indescribable.
How can I possibly be feeling all of these emotions at the same time. I just dont get how this is happening.
So much of my life is going great. Changing for the better. And now.. these things that are bothering me, eating away at my happiness, I hate them, I wish they would go away. I love him, he makes everything so great, why cant being with him make everything better? Why now, when Im actually so so happy, do I have to feel like Im losing all of my friends. To me it seems there is always an excuse not to hang out with me, there is always something better, but then.. they make it out to be like I am the bad one who doesnt want to hang out. I just dont get this sometimes. Total gayness. I need my friends. I love my friends. I guess it is never the same. Whats my luck. Eh, whatever. Enough of the blabbering on. In all reality I still am so happy. Even though I get ignored, and when Im not its when I need to sleep, its me that gets up @ 7 to go to work all fucking day. And why is it that anytime I dont say something that they think I should or wanna do something they wanna do, Im mad, and something is wrong. I am so tired lately. I really dont feel good. But no one ever thinks of the fact that I usually get less than five hours a sleep a night, go to work for about 9 hours then up for another 8 hours just going and going.. A ridiculous schedule.. But I cant do anything about the work schedules being opposite, and me being tired. But thats no excuse I suppose. My friends just bring me down more and more. The amount of sleep I have been getting is no excuse to them either, although they just work at a grocery store or fast food restaurant. I actuallly have a good job and I get no recognitions, they dont get the amount of work I do, and the amount of reponsibilty that is attached to what I do as well.. But nothing I can do about that. I guess sometimes I just wish people knew. Sometimes I just want to get so blazed so I dont feel any of this, make it none of my worries, but I never do.
Well twelve days till Christmas and Im still shopping picking up little things here and there. Gosh, I really cant wait. Everyone is gonna love there stuff, or so I hope. lol. I know that I wont be getting much of anything, but that is really no big deal for me. I love to give rather than to get presents. But everyone in my family is in a pretty good mood because of the holidays. Makes things alot easier when I am around them. My mom is like a new person, lol. Everywhere I go the music is so happy, people shopping everywhere. Its such a great time of year. Although outside it doesnt quite feel like Christmas, but I guess we have to just work with what we get.
Work is going pretty good. After the shit two weeks ago, I have been busting my ass and doing everything right that I could possibly do, I hope it is paying off in the end. So we are getting our raise in Friday's check, YAY! Not like money was a big difference before, but its still pretty cool. Everyone is excited. We have a party on Monday so that should be pretty cool, I still gotta get the present for Ligia. I better not forget lol. But thats what I do, ah ha. Im a riot.
So... Nickelback is coming to the TD Waterhouse! And Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace, thats right mother fuckers, Three Days fucking Grace is gonna be there too.. Ahh I cant wait to be able to get my tickets, I wanna go so so bad. Its gonna be bad ass. March is when it is I dont quite remember what day. Imagine. But I am thinking that I just want to save my money and get tickets to Christina Aguilera.. On May 4th. The day after my birthday. I saw her once and it was fucking awesome. Hmm.. May be I will go to both, we will see..
Im so excited. Things are going so good. Better than ever, even though some stupid things are bothering me. I am in love with the most wonderful guy in the world, I wish you all could know how great he is.. And he loves me more than anything as well. i have never felt like this before. He is everything to me. And his family too, all of them. His mommy, Al, Josh and even Tommy, although he isnt blood family, he is as close as you could get. They all are fantastic people.
Well I suppose I can go find some work to do. While now I have gotten myself into a very good mood talking about my baby and Christmas.. Maybe today might be a good day.. I gotta watch the kids for a while tonight, and Scott should have off, so maybe I will go shopping and cook us some dinner, cause I havent done that for us yet. And he loves food. It will be nice.
As I was about to post this I started thinking about all my friends and stuff, and I miss not talking to them. I mean like randomly someone will leave a post here or there but I miss them all. Even my 'best' friends I dont talk to much at all. I just hope they know I think of them and miss them.. Jenna, Theresa, Shane, Max, James, Chris E., Robby, Boy, Brent , Buddy, Corinne, Kristy, Michelle, and I know there are more, I just havent thought of them.. My brain is rushing with so many things in my head lol
<3 Love
Excitment. Happiness. Love. Worry. Anger. Anxiousness. Disappointed. Tired. Cheerful. Stressed. Thankful.
More like indescribable.
How can I possibly be feeling all of these emotions at the same time. I just dont get how this is happening.
So much of my life is going great. Changing for the better. And now.. these things that are bothering me, eating away at my happiness, I hate them, I wish they would go away. I love him, he makes everything so great, why cant being with him make everything better? Why now, when Im actually so so happy, do I have to feel like Im losing all of my friends. To me it seems there is always an excuse not to hang out with me, there is always something better, but then.. they make it out to be like I am the bad one who doesnt want to hang out. I just dont get this sometimes. Total gayness. I need my friends. I love my friends. I guess it is never the same. Whats my luck. Eh, whatever. Enough of the blabbering on. In all reality I still am so happy. Even though I get ignored, and when Im not its when I need to sleep, its me that gets up @ 7 to go to work all fucking day. And why is it that anytime I dont say something that they think I should or wanna do something they wanna do, Im mad, and something is wrong. I am so tired lately. I really dont feel good. But no one ever thinks of the fact that I usually get less than five hours a sleep a night, go to work for about 9 hours then up for another 8 hours just going and going.. A ridiculous schedule.. But I cant do anything about the work schedules being opposite, and me being tired. But thats no excuse I suppose. My friends just bring me down more and more. The amount of sleep I have been getting is no excuse to them either, although they just work at a grocery store or fast food restaurant. I actuallly have a good job and I get no recognitions, they dont get the amount of work I do, and the amount of reponsibilty that is attached to what I do as well.. But nothing I can do about that. I guess sometimes I just wish people knew. Sometimes I just want to get so blazed so I dont feel any of this, make it none of my worries, but I never do.
Well twelve days till Christmas and Im still shopping picking up little things here and there. Gosh, I really cant wait. Everyone is gonna love there stuff, or so I hope. lol. I know that I wont be getting much of anything, but that is really no big deal for me. I love to give rather than to get presents. But everyone in my family is in a pretty good mood because of the holidays. Makes things alot easier when I am around them. My mom is like a new person, lol. Everywhere I go the music is so happy, people shopping everywhere. Its such a great time of year. Although outside it doesnt quite feel like Christmas, but I guess we have to just work with what we get.
Work is going pretty good. After the shit two weeks ago, I have been busting my ass and doing everything right that I could possibly do, I hope it is paying off in the end. So we are getting our raise in Friday's check, YAY! Not like money was a big difference before, but its still pretty cool. Everyone is excited. We have a party on Monday so that should be pretty cool, I still gotta get the present for Ligia. I better not forget lol. But thats what I do, ah ha. Im a riot.
So... Nickelback is coming to the TD Waterhouse! And Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace, thats right mother fuckers, Three Days fucking Grace is gonna be there too.. Ahh I cant wait to be able to get my tickets, I wanna go so so bad. Its gonna be bad ass. March is when it is I dont quite remember what day. Imagine. But I am thinking that I just want to save my money and get tickets to Christina Aguilera.. On May 4th. The day after my birthday. I saw her once and it was fucking awesome. Hmm.. May be I will go to both, we will see..
Im so excited. Things are going so good. Better than ever, even though some stupid things are bothering me. I am in love with the most wonderful guy in the world, I wish you all could know how great he is.. And he loves me more than anything as well. i have never felt like this before. He is everything to me. And his family too, all of them. His mommy, Al, Josh and even Tommy, although he isnt blood family, he is as close as you could get. They all are fantastic people.
Well I suppose I can go find some work to do. While now I have gotten myself into a very good mood talking about my baby and Christmas.. Maybe today might be a good day.. I gotta watch the kids for a while tonight, and Scott should have off, so maybe I will go shopping and cook us some dinner, cause I havent done that for us yet. And he loves food. It will be nice.
As I was about to post this I started thinking about all my friends and stuff, and I miss not talking to them. I mean like randomly someone will leave a post here or there but I miss them all. Even my 'best' friends I dont talk to much at all. I just hope they know I think of them and miss them.. Jenna, Theresa, Shane, Max, James, Chris E., Robby, Boy, Brent , Buddy, Corinne, Kristy, Michelle, and I know there are more, I just havent thought of them.. My brain is rushing with so many things in my head lol
<3 Love