acceptance
finally...
i have come to accept my lonliness. i frankly dont care anymore. everyones been telling me that i depress them w/ my depresson. so ill ignore the depression. ill try 2 be happier and complain less. ill have my nights and please give them to me but more often then not ill try 2 be happy. ill say ok and mean it when u ask how i am. i doubt ill say good but ill try to. ill stop complaning about school but ill keep complaining bout work cuz work sucks lol. i want to regain my sence of humor and my 'sweetness' that i apparently have. im going to rid myself of my desperation for a gf. its a turnoff. ill flirt with who i want and if they like me back then yay. until then ill ignore the lonliness and stuff it down. i hope it dosnt cause nething bad like me snapping or nething. but its worth it. i want 2 be clay again, not the overlogical robot clayton ive become. i want 2 be able 2 go out and have fun and not be annoyed by couples everywhere. i want to find a girl in ocala and i can do it! i just need to meet some. if i dont get ne till college thats fine. college ass is better lol. im going to listen 2 u ppl that tell me 2 be happier. im gonna listen to less depressing music. im gonna have a heart again...
those r my new years resolutions. and ill do my best 2 follow thru w/ them...
thank you to everyone that has helped me, i love you all...
stacey - i missed you and i hope we never fight again
britt - ur great, dont change, u r beautiful as you are
katy - thank you for being there and listening, i hope james makes u happy for a long time, u deserve a good guy like him
ashly - i <3 u with everything i can <3 u with
jess - love sucks but dont let ur past destroy your future, ur the best
kaytie and katie - i love u guys, thanks for the laughs and constant arrousal lol
jordan - ur cool, i hope we get closer and u feel better
ashley - everything will turn out for you, u kno im here 4 u whenever u need me i <3 u
sam - uve brought me alot more happy times then u have sad, i just thought u should know that.
megs - im happy we r talking again now lets go test out that lipring ;) <3
last but definately not least...
kelli - u are my best friend, u listen 2 all my annoying problems, i dont think neone else could stand that. i love you i really really do...
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
(I've been changin' but you'll never see me now)
Now I'm blaming you for everything
No more holding it in
How many years can I pretend?
Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
No more waiting for the end
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I'm so far away
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I'm so far away...
ill shutup now...
ck
i have come to accept my lonliness. i frankly dont care anymore. everyones been telling me that i depress them w/ my depresson. so ill ignore the depression. ill try 2 be happier and complain less. ill have my nights and please give them to me but more often then not ill try 2 be happy. ill say ok and mean it when u ask how i am. i doubt ill say good but ill try to. ill stop complaning about school but ill keep complaining bout work cuz work sucks lol. i want to regain my sence of humor and my 'sweetness' that i apparently have. im going to rid myself of my desperation for a gf. its a turnoff. ill flirt with who i want and if they like me back then yay. until then ill ignore the lonliness and stuff it down. i hope it dosnt cause nething bad like me snapping or nething. but its worth it. i want 2 be clay again, not the overlogical robot clayton ive become. i want 2 be able 2 go out and have fun and not be annoyed by couples everywhere. i want to find a girl in ocala and i can do it! i just need to meet some. if i dont get ne till college thats fine. college ass is better lol. im going to listen 2 u ppl that tell me 2 be happier. im gonna listen to less depressing music. im gonna have a heart again...
those r my new years resolutions. and ill do my best 2 follow thru w/ them...
thank you to everyone that has helped me, i love you all...
stacey - i missed you and i hope we never fight again
britt - ur great, dont change, u r beautiful as you are
katy - thank you for being there and listening, i hope james makes u happy for a long time, u deserve a good guy like him
ashly - i <3 u with everything i can <3 u with
jess - love sucks but dont let ur past destroy your future, ur the best
kaytie and katie - i love u guys, thanks for the laughs and constant arrousal lol
jordan - ur cool, i hope we get closer and u feel better
ashley - everything will turn out for you, u kno im here 4 u whenever u need me i <3 u
sam - uve brought me alot more happy times then u have sad, i just thought u should know that.
megs - im happy we r talking again now lets go test out that lipring ;) <3
last but definately not least...
kelli - u are my best friend, u listen 2 all my annoying problems, i dont think neone else could stand that. i love you i really really do...
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
(I've been changin' but you'll never see me now)
Now I'm blaming you for everything
No more holding it in
How many years can I pretend?
Nothing never goes the way it should
No more sitting in this place
Hoping you might see it my way
Cause I don't think you ever understood
That what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
No more waiting for the end
Of every day that I will spend
Wishing that I only had a choice
No more pushing you away
Cause I will be busy watching things going my way
Never looking back on this anymore
Because what I'm looking for are the answers
To why these questions never go away
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I'm so far away
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Hey hey I've been saved
With sun shining on my pain
Getting me through this day
Hey hey watch me wave
Goodbye to yesterday
Nothing left in my way
Feels so good to say
I'm so far away
I've been changin' but you'll never see me now
I'm so far away
Now I'm blaming you for everything
I'm so far away...
ill shutup now...
ck