(no subject)
conversation i will never forget;
"yeahh yeahh ryan. I miss that kid. OF COURSE I REMEMBER THE BIRD! how could i forgot? we used to sit in class and just make up random things, and we'd always end up pissing her off.
I'm doing okay I guess. getting better. its been a rought week.
You?
its just hard knowing that it "wasnt him"
I did everything i could to honor his life.. but i dont feel like i did enough.
I just wish i would have known him better.. not to hurt more, but just to have more memories with him. jake was just one of those people that could walk into the room and imediately put you in a good mood. he was always joking around and smiling. he had the most amazing smile. and to hear people joking around about his suicide. it just gets to me. im tired of it.
but i think the thing that hurt the worst is the fact that so many of my close friends are blaming themselves. seeing the look on his moms face at the funeral. and the viewing and the burial. her just trying not to break down. was so hard to watch. I just stood there and hugged her for about 10 minutes. but i cant imagine what his parents are going through. sure Jake jad some problems, but no matter what they were people have no right to talk about him and make fun of him when they didnt even freaking know him.
I just wish I had something of his.. something for reassurance. but ll i really have now are memories and flowers that I got from his casket before they burried him.
I went to the grave site today and just everything thats gone on. talking to everyone and everything.. i feel some closure but not near as much as i should.
The other day i was in his best friend chris's garage.. and they were all in a band.. and we were standing there talking about how nice of a day it was and how jake would have loved to see it.. and they said its just a shame hes not here to see it and as soon as they said that a huge gust of wind blew through the garage. so i have no doubt that hes here still. and i guess thats helped too. "
I strongly believe it wasnt him that pulled the trigger. im not saying it was another person. it just wasnt him. it wasnt him thinking. I with all my heart believe he didnt want to do it. not that day. I know that. "
- Amber Greseth.
REST IN PIECE; JAKE WOLVIN.
"yeahh yeahh ryan. I miss that kid. OF COURSE I REMEMBER THE BIRD! how could i forgot? we used to sit in class and just make up random things, and we'd always end up pissing her off.
I'm doing okay I guess. getting better. its been a rought week.
You?
its just hard knowing that it "wasnt him"
I did everything i could to honor his life.. but i dont feel like i did enough.
I just wish i would have known him better.. not to hurt more, but just to have more memories with him. jake was just one of those people that could walk into the room and imediately put you in a good mood. he was always joking around and smiling. he had the most amazing smile. and to hear people joking around about his suicide. it just gets to me. im tired of it.
but i think the thing that hurt the worst is the fact that so many of my close friends are blaming themselves. seeing the look on his moms face at the funeral. and the viewing and the burial. her just trying not to break down. was so hard to watch. I just stood there and hugged her for about 10 minutes. but i cant imagine what his parents are going through. sure Jake jad some problems, but no matter what they were people have no right to talk about him and make fun of him when they didnt even freaking know him.
I just wish I had something of his.. something for reassurance. but ll i really have now are memories and flowers that I got from his casket before they burried him.
I went to the grave site today and just everything thats gone on. talking to everyone and everything.. i feel some closure but not near as much as i should.
The other day i was in his best friend chris's garage.. and they were all in a band.. and we were standing there talking about how nice of a day it was and how jake would have loved to see it.. and they said its just a shame hes not here to see it and as soon as they said that a huge gust of wind blew through the garage. so i have no doubt that hes here still. and i guess thats helped too. "
I strongly believe it wasnt him that pulled the trigger. im not saying it was another person. it just wasnt him. it wasnt him thinking. I with all my heart believe he didnt want to do it. not that day. I know that. "
- Amber Greseth.
REST IN PIECE; JAKE WOLVIN.