(no subject)
i love livejournal. i pretty much rule the world from my computer screen. not only do i have all media at my fingertips, but i have the ability to publish my genius perspectives on countless, pretentiously worded "blogs". i wish that there was a longer word for "blog" that was kept secret from black people so that i could use it here, and you would know that i was not, in fact, black. in any case, i think it's pretty self-evident that my ability to mindless drum out messages on my keyboard is the main reason that our society functions day-to-day.
the important thing to remember in life is that the answers and important things lie within yourself, and that your main objective on this earth is to make yourself better and better day by day. the only way to show that you are smarter than somebody is to out-do them at some sort of challenge, or criticize them viciously. that's why i use sarcasm every chance i get.
i was racing down the street in my sparkling, gold alero, and through the grimy windshield, i saw this idiotic small animal with the audacity to be on a collision course with my precious, speed-tuned automobile. rather than appease this winged fiend, i reached my hand out the open window and punched it right in the throat. it fell to the ground soundlessly gasping for air, draped in its broken wings. i chortled with sadistic delight as countless white lines wizzed by. i decided to go down to the library and lay down some bomb-ass pimpery, but before i could, i realized that i had already burnt it down the day before trying to cook crack in the bathroom sink with a water canteen and a bic lighter. it worked, if you're wondering. remembering this, i reached awkwardly into the backseat and snatched the unwieldly canteen off of the floor behind my seat and tossed it nonchalontly onto the passanger seat after feeling a few rocks rattle at the bottom. just then, i knew what i had to do; go to the middle school and dump the rest of this yay. as i pulled my car into the parking lot beside the playground, i unbuckled my seatbelt and noticed a half-dozen children with disproportionately sized heads kneeling on the plastic slide, screaming. i palmed the 'teen and stepped out. noticing an obnoxiously yellow van parked beside me, i reasoned that these were the retarded kids who go to school during summer, and that they were just shrieking madly because they were too stupid to know any better. a cruel smirk darted across the right side of my face as i continued beneath the neglected monkey-bars that they undoubtedly never learned how to use. i strolled to the slide and let the canteen slip from my right hand until the nylon strap suspended the heavy instrument below my fist like a pendulum. i swung hard and hit each one of them squarely in the temple one by one, until i had rendered them all soundly unconscious, just like the malicious flying beast from before. i stole all of their clothes while they were bleeding quietly on the gravel and sold them on e-bay as "retard gear", and with the money i got from that and selling the rest of the contents of my heavy metal canteen, i bought this computer so that i could have livejournal. at least i got them to stop screaming.
the important thing to remember in life is that the answers and important things lie within yourself, and that your main objective on this earth is to make yourself better and better day by day. the only way to show that you are smarter than somebody is to out-do them at some sort of challenge, or criticize them viciously. that's why i use sarcasm every chance i get.
i was racing down the street in my sparkling, gold alero, and through the grimy windshield, i saw this idiotic small animal with the audacity to be on a collision course with my precious, speed-tuned automobile. rather than appease this winged fiend, i reached my hand out the open window and punched it right in the throat. it fell to the ground soundlessly gasping for air, draped in its broken wings. i chortled with sadistic delight as countless white lines wizzed by. i decided to go down to the library and lay down some bomb-ass pimpery, but before i could, i realized that i had already burnt it down the day before trying to cook crack in the bathroom sink with a water canteen and a bic lighter. it worked, if you're wondering. remembering this, i reached awkwardly into the backseat and snatched the unwieldly canteen off of the floor behind my seat and tossed it nonchalontly onto the passanger seat after feeling a few rocks rattle at the bottom. just then, i knew what i had to do; go to the middle school and dump the rest of this yay. as i pulled my car into the parking lot beside the playground, i unbuckled my seatbelt and noticed a half-dozen children with disproportionately sized heads kneeling on the plastic slide, screaming. i palmed the 'teen and stepped out. noticing an obnoxiously yellow van parked beside me, i reasoned that these were the retarded kids who go to school during summer, and that they were just shrieking madly because they were too stupid to know any better. a cruel smirk darted across the right side of my face as i continued beneath the neglected monkey-bars that they undoubtedly never learned how to use. i strolled to the slide and let the canteen slip from my right hand until the nylon strap suspended the heavy instrument below my fist like a pendulum. i swung hard and hit each one of them squarely in the temple one by one, until i had rendered them all soundly unconscious, just like the malicious flying beast from before. i stole all of their clothes while they were bleeding quietly on the gravel and sold them on e-bay as "retard gear", and with the money i got from that and selling the rest of the contents of my heavy metal canteen, i bought this computer so that i could have livejournal. at least i got them to stop screaming.