first love
when I was 6 years old my father started dating a lady named nancy. nancy had 2 boys, jay was my age, Jeremy was 3 or 4 yrs old. That summer when I visited my Dad, us 3 kids were laying in the big bed, watching tv that was up in the corner of the room. I was wearing yellow nightie that I thought was beautiful. It had satin bows on the shoulders and little boy pants like are popular now. Jay and I had been giggling so much that night, I think Jeremy had actually fallen asleep, my Dad came in and looked at us and said "No hankey pankey!". At 6 I really didnt know what he was talking about but obviously that night has been burned into my memory. Every year that I went up to see my Dad, I tried to see him. Even after our folks stopped dating, our fathers worked some together, and Jay's best friend Jason lives down the street from my dad so I'd always go over there to talk to the folks and of course ask about him. My love for Jay was probably the most innocent love I have ever had. I could look at him and see our children. We planned parts of our wedding, but like Miranda said - we were only 10 so we had to wait. The last time I saw him I was 17, and he was dating a gal that he was aparently serious about. He had spent the night at Jason's house and snuck out and walked to my Dad's place. We walked hand in hand in the moonlight, talking about love, first love. We went to my brothers hidey house and had kisses, and would have gone further but he couldnt. Guilt I suppose, but I dont think I've ever been so sad in all my life. Sure he had a girl, but I have loved that boy since I was 6. Besides, not like I lived there and it would be a permanent thing, just once, just to see. But thinking back I suppose that would have only left me regretting not being with him even more. There was one summer, I guess it was maybe 15 or 16, he came to work on a deck my dad was building on the back of the house. His hair was long, and he has such Indian features, and the no shirt sweaty thing, yeah. After that day whenever I think of him I always picture him as an Indian, atop a horse, with a great big hunting spear. That is something that will stay in my heart no matter how old we are.
What brought on this little trip down memory lane? Found him on myspace. Married, 2 kids. No clue if it's the same chick, but his kids are cute. And because he's there, I wrote this here. Chickenshit party of one.
**Edit - Yep, same girl. sigh.**
What brought on this little trip down memory lane? Found him on myspace. Married, 2 kids. No clue if it's the same chick, but his kids are cute. And because he's there, I wrote this here. Chickenshit party of one.
**Edit - Yep, same girl. sigh.**