A Strongly Worded Letter
Dear Matt Hardy,
Far be it from me to give fashion or follicle advice to anyone since my fashion sense consists of "things that are clean" and I haven't really cut my hair in a year and a half. With that being said, I would like to make the following request, Matt: Get a haircut! Hell, get a whole new look already! Matt Hardy has kept the exact same look for the past decade: oddly patterned long pants, elbow pads with long forearm/hand wraps, chinstrap beard with a soul patch, and long hair. Sometimes he wears a shirt and sometimes he doesn't. Basically, he's Tommy the Green Ranger. And, you know, in 1999, that was okay. It isn't now.
Over time, two things have happened. For one, style has changed, which by itself wouldn't necessitate a makeover for the dude since wrestlers pride themselves on sticking to what works until outside forces cause them to do something new. Jeff Hardy has kept the same look over the exact same amount of time only adding tattoos and a shitload of day-glo paint every once in awhile and Triple H still wears a leather jacket with a denim vest over it, a look that was cool when Hunter was a pre-adolescent, so it's not like the clothes alone make the sports entertainer.
The other thing to consider is that you, Matt Hardy, are 34 now and looks like you're 40. Not only do you look like you're 40, you look like you're a 40 year old trying to pull off a 24 year old's look. Again, this is a common occurrence for wrestlers. But, Matt, you're going bald and will soon have less hair than Shawn Michaels. I hate to break it to you but the cul-de-sacs that have extended your fivehead make the center look like a collection of black cotton balls.
Face it, you don't have the hair of your brother or Edge or Triple H. Know who else doesn't? Your buddy Christian Cage. And he dealt with it by updating his look, becoming a world champion in another promotion and earning himself what looks like a possible marquee match at Wrestlemania 25 pretty soon. When was the last time you were the center of a marquee match at Wrestlemania that wasn't Money in the Bank, Matt? One that was based on you and your storytelling ability? And I have a theory as to why. Your aging but trying to stay hip look SCREAMS midcard. Kurt Angle faced a similar problem before because he was noticeably balding. But a shaved head later, he was a full-time main eventer.
Matt Hardy, get a haircut. I'll do it if you do it.
Warmest regards in Christ,
Brandawg Dawgriguez
Far be it from me to give fashion or follicle advice to anyone since my fashion sense consists of "things that are clean" and I haven't really cut my hair in a year and a half. With that being said, I would like to make the following request, Matt: Get a haircut! Hell, get a whole new look already! Matt Hardy has kept the exact same look for the past decade: oddly patterned long pants, elbow pads with long forearm/hand wraps, chinstrap beard with a soul patch, and long hair. Sometimes he wears a shirt and sometimes he doesn't. Basically, he's Tommy the Green Ranger. And, you know, in 1999, that was okay. It isn't now.
Over time, two things have happened. For one, style has changed, which by itself wouldn't necessitate a makeover for the dude since wrestlers pride themselves on sticking to what works until outside forces cause them to do something new. Jeff Hardy has kept the same look over the exact same amount of time only adding tattoos and a shitload of day-glo paint every once in awhile and Triple H still wears a leather jacket with a denim vest over it, a look that was cool when Hunter was a pre-adolescent, so it's not like the clothes alone make the sports entertainer.
The other thing to consider is that you, Matt Hardy, are 34 now and looks like you're 40. Not only do you look like you're 40, you look like you're a 40 year old trying to pull off a 24 year old's look. Again, this is a common occurrence for wrestlers. But, Matt, you're going bald and will soon have less hair than Shawn Michaels. I hate to break it to you but the cul-de-sacs that have extended your fivehead make the center look like a collection of black cotton balls.
Face it, you don't have the hair of your brother or Edge or Triple H. Know who else doesn't? Your buddy Christian Cage. And he dealt with it by updating his look, becoming a world champion in another promotion and earning himself what looks like a possible marquee match at Wrestlemania 25 pretty soon. When was the last time you were the center of a marquee match at Wrestlemania that wasn't Money in the Bank, Matt? One that was based on you and your storytelling ability? And I have a theory as to why. Your aging but trying to stay hip look SCREAMS midcard. Kurt Angle faced a similar problem before because he was noticeably balding. But a shaved head later, he was a full-time main eventer.
Matt Hardy, get a haircut. I'll do it if you do it.
Warmest regards in Christ,
Brandawg Dawgriguez