Child-free: The way to be?
I'm feeling kind of ornery, and it's my own fault, too. I just spent the last half hour or so reading through the childfree community, which as the name suggests is a community for adults who choose child-free living. Okay, I get that. Everybody has a right to choose their lifestyle. I've been researching sterilization lately, for the later date when we decide that we're done with babies, and I came across this. I thought maybe I'd find something helpful or perhaps informative about sterilization and the like. Nope! This community is pretty much a round-the-clock bitchfest about how "breeders" (how horrible of a nickname is that?!) are ruining the world with their "crotch fruit" (again - wtf?!)
Seriously!
I know that some of my friends are childless, and that some are parents. I love y'all equally, regardless of your parenting status. Of course some people choose to refrain from reproducing - if you don't want them, don't have them. Period. End of sentence.
But why complain so heavily about the number of children in the world? You know what, I see people every day who treat their kids like garbage. Recently I saw a mother with three young children in the backseat of her car - none of them were in carseats or booster seats, and they were all 3 and under. I've seen children yelled at for playing, yelled at for talking, yelled at for standing in the wrong place. I understand how that causes frustration. It frustrates the hell out of me, too.
Since these entries are not f-locked, I'm not going to feel bad about copy/pasting some of the things mentioned in this community:
My girlfriend and I were trying to enjoy the lion exhibit but this one mom kept shrieking all this baby talk,
"LOOOOOK A LIIIIION!!!! GRRRRRRR!!! LOOOOOOOOK BAAAAAAABYYYYYY!!! A LIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!" I just wanted to slap the crap out of this woman.
This is called a learning experience. The mother is helping her child make a connection to what he's seeing. If you don't like it, move on.
Oh, and this little gem:
People have children for the following reasons:
1. Conceit. Many people foolishly believe that the world will be benefitted were they to leave their genetic material behind. Very sad how the majority of the world is delusional in this regard.
2. Projection. Many people, let’s face it, the majority of us, have not attained their goals. Rather than working on themselves they choose to have children and make the pianist they never became, the ballerina they wish they could have been, or the Ivy League student. Face the reality- your child is NOT going to become the president.
3. Being Alone. Why do people assume that their children are going to be around when they die? Why do they care? Children leave; it’s what we all have to do at one time or another. There is no guarantee they are going to be beside you when you are ready to pass on.
4. Strengthening a weak relationship. A child will not help a weak relationship. From what I’ve read this does quite the opposite. The best remedy is to move on or to work on the problems rather than bringing a screaming shit machine into the domicile. Child-free relationships are actually stronger than ones with children because all of the attention is focused on the partner rather than on the offspring.
Nope! I have a child because I foolishly decided against contraception when it was most necessary.
And my relationship is stronger because of Noah, because he's the embodiment of our love for one another.
I just don't get it. Why all the absolutes? Why is it impossible to believe that there are good parents out there, who love and respect their children, who nurture them and help them to be responsible adults?
I agree that there are many truly despicable parents out there. I wish that more could be done to "screen" potential parents, to prevent those who are incapable of caring for their babies from having them in the first place.
That doesn't make me a bad mother.
Why the judgment? Why the hate?
So, here's my burning question, interwebs:
If you don't have children, do you want them? If you do have them, do you wish you didn't?
Seriously!
I know that some of my friends are childless, and that some are parents. I love y'all equally, regardless of your parenting status. Of course some people choose to refrain from reproducing - if you don't want them, don't have them. Period. End of sentence.
But why complain so heavily about the number of children in the world? You know what, I see people every day who treat their kids like garbage. Recently I saw a mother with three young children in the backseat of her car - none of them were in carseats or booster seats, and they were all 3 and under. I've seen children yelled at for playing, yelled at for talking, yelled at for standing in the wrong place. I understand how that causes frustration. It frustrates the hell out of me, too.
Since these entries are not f-locked, I'm not going to feel bad about copy/pasting some of the things mentioned in this community:
My girlfriend and I were trying to enjoy the lion exhibit but this one mom kept shrieking all this baby talk,
"LOOOOOK A LIIIIION!!!! GRRRRRRR!!! LOOOOOOOOK BAAAAAAABYYYYYY!!! A LIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!" I just wanted to slap the crap out of this woman.
This is called a learning experience. The mother is helping her child make a connection to what he's seeing. If you don't like it, move on.
Oh, and this little gem:
People have children for the following reasons:
1. Conceit. Many people foolishly believe that the world will be benefitted were they to leave their genetic material behind. Very sad how the majority of the world is delusional in this regard.
2. Projection. Many people, let’s face it, the majority of us, have not attained their goals. Rather than working on themselves they choose to have children and make the pianist they never became, the ballerina they wish they could have been, or the Ivy League student. Face the reality- your child is NOT going to become the president.
3. Being Alone. Why do people assume that their children are going to be around when they die? Why do they care? Children leave; it’s what we all have to do at one time or another. There is no guarantee they are going to be beside you when you are ready to pass on.
4. Strengthening a weak relationship. A child will not help a weak relationship. From what I’ve read this does quite the opposite. The best remedy is to move on or to work on the problems rather than bringing a screaming shit machine into the domicile. Child-free relationships are actually stronger than ones with children because all of the attention is focused on the partner rather than on the offspring.
Nope! I have a child because I foolishly decided against contraception when it was most necessary.
And my relationship is stronger because of Noah, because he's the embodiment of our love for one another.
I just don't get it. Why all the absolutes? Why is it impossible to believe that there are good parents out there, who love and respect their children, who nurture them and help them to be responsible adults?
I agree that there are many truly despicable parents out there. I wish that more could be done to "screen" potential parents, to prevent those who are incapable of caring for their babies from having them in the first place.
That doesn't make me a bad mother.
Why the judgment? Why the hate?
So, here's my burning question, interwebs:
If you don't have children, do you want them? If you do have them, do you wish you didn't?