LJ Idol Topic 2: Uphill, Both Ways, Barefoot
Once upon a time, there was a little girl.
She was a pretty little girl, but she was eccentric. She read constantly, from whatever she could get her hands on. Her peers began to suspect there was something different about her. Before long, she began to suspect there was something different about herself, too.
The little girl had been a chubby baby, toddler, and child, but by the time she was 12 she was a full-blown fat girl. She had friends, friends who loved her and were probably just as eccentric as she was, but she always felt there was something missing in her life. What was missing? What could it be?
As she grew and blossomed, she struggled to find her place. She decided her fate would lead her to a road of despair and the not-so-little girl found herself immersed in a world of drugs and cigarettes, occasional alcohol and desperate midnight binging. She began to hurt herself, wishing and acting upon her wish for her own death.
Naturally, her parents were concerned and frightened. They put the little girl in a faraway castle for ill children, and the girl found herself amongst those who truly, truly suffered. She met girls who were naught but 14 and had babies waiting for them in the homes of their parents, girls who hated themselves and had the scars to prove it, girls who cried themselves to sleep so that the whole company of troubled children could hear their sobs at night.
She hated being there. She was nothing like these people, what did they want with her? By now she'd realized that her life wasn't so awful, after all, and she would very much like to be in her modest home than in this dreary castle. She begged and pleaded, and through her begging found herself back with her parents. Yet her healing hadn't been complete; before long, the now-teenage girl fell back into old habits. She failed to take her pills, failed to finish her therapy, slept late every day and forgot what it was like to be happy. She still felt something missing in her life.
Her existence had begun to feel like an uphill battle, and it was one she didn't want to fight. Her few fleeting moments of happiness weren't worth the struggle it took to get to them. She stopped taking her medication, stock-piling it for a sinister purpose.
One sunny, fall day, she took the stocked medication and lapsed into what she hoped would be a welcoming death. Yet it seemed that she couldn't even die properly; she was saved by one of her loving and true friends, and upon the assurance of her recovery she went to live again at the dreary, faraway castle for troubled children.
This time, she shut out the other sad and struggling children and focused on her own demons. She realized what had been missing in her life was simply love, and she found that love within herself. While the others muttered hateful words under the breath directed at everyone and no one, she threw her entire being into loving herself the way she knew she deserved to be loved.
And suddenly, it seemed she'd found the key. She wasn't anything but herself: a pretty, eccentric teenage girl who had something to offer to the world at large. She began to volunteer her time to her parish, started working, and started to feel like her life was worth something.
The struggle still existed. The fight to get uphill was always there, and if you asked the grownup version of that little girl today if she's still climbing, she'd say:
"Of course I am. But there's a greener view on the other side of this hill. I just have to get there."
Prompted by therealljidol. Don't forget to vote for your favorite entries at the end of the week!
She was a pretty little girl, but she was eccentric. She read constantly, from whatever she could get her hands on. Her peers began to suspect there was something different about her. Before long, she began to suspect there was something different about herself, too.
The little girl had been a chubby baby, toddler, and child, but by the time she was 12 she was a full-blown fat girl. She had friends, friends who loved her and were probably just as eccentric as she was, but she always felt there was something missing in her life. What was missing? What could it be?
As she grew and blossomed, she struggled to find her place. She decided her fate would lead her to a road of despair and the not-so-little girl found herself immersed in a world of drugs and cigarettes, occasional alcohol and desperate midnight binging. She began to hurt herself, wishing and acting upon her wish for her own death.
Naturally, her parents were concerned and frightened. They put the little girl in a faraway castle for ill children, and the girl found herself amongst those who truly, truly suffered. She met girls who were naught but 14 and had babies waiting for them in the homes of their parents, girls who hated themselves and had the scars to prove it, girls who cried themselves to sleep so that the whole company of troubled children could hear their sobs at night.
She hated being there. She was nothing like these people, what did they want with her? By now she'd realized that her life wasn't so awful, after all, and she would very much like to be in her modest home than in this dreary castle. She begged and pleaded, and through her begging found herself back with her parents. Yet her healing hadn't been complete; before long, the now-teenage girl fell back into old habits. She failed to take her pills, failed to finish her therapy, slept late every day and forgot what it was like to be happy. She still felt something missing in her life.
Her existence had begun to feel like an uphill battle, and it was one she didn't want to fight. Her few fleeting moments of happiness weren't worth the struggle it took to get to them. She stopped taking her medication, stock-piling it for a sinister purpose.
One sunny, fall day, she took the stocked medication and lapsed into what she hoped would be a welcoming death. Yet it seemed that she couldn't even die properly; she was saved by one of her loving and true friends, and upon the assurance of her recovery she went to live again at the dreary, faraway castle for troubled children.
This time, she shut out the other sad and struggling children and focused on her own demons. She realized what had been missing in her life was simply love, and she found that love within herself. While the others muttered hateful words under the breath directed at everyone and no one, she threw her entire being into loving herself the way she knew she deserved to be loved.
And suddenly, it seemed she'd found the key. She wasn't anything but herself: a pretty, eccentric teenage girl who had something to offer to the world at large. She began to volunteer her time to her parish, started working, and started to feel like her life was worth something.
The struggle still existed. The fight to get uphill was always there, and if you asked the grownup version of that little girl today if she's still climbing, she'd say:
"Of course I am. But there's a greener view on the other side of this hill. I just have to get there."
Prompted by therealljidol. Don't forget to vote for your favorite entries at the end of the week!