Character Entry: Sophia Harper
I'm due back at the hospital soon. I don't have a scheduled appointment. I just know because it's been a while since I collapsed, and I've been getting weak lately anyway. I'm very familiar with this by now. Frankly I wonder why I'm still alive. I wonder how I manage to keep opening my eyes every time.
What's really sad is I'm saying this and I'm only 13. I'll be 14 in a few days, if I'm still alive. I could die any time really. And that's depressing as fuck.
Okay, so I'm sure you're asking yourself by now, why is this girl so sure she could just drop at any given moment? Well, that would be the joy of having cancer eating away at my organs. I was diagnosed when I was 6. I'm going to say right now that muggle doctors SUCK ASS!
They thought there was only a little, they thought they could remove it all. I still have a scar on my stomach from that surgery. Guess what? They were wrong. They missed a little. and you know how cancer works, miss a little and that bit will grow again. There's a second scar on my stomach from when they tried again. This time they knew they hadn't gotten it all, they couldn't without killing me anyway. It's funny, cause I have a cross on my stomach from those scars, the left side. The second surgery was when I was 7 by the way. From then until I was 11 I'd go to muggle hospitals for all that shit they do to try and kill it. I got all the treatment money could buy, comes from having rich parents. Slowed the fucker down, but never stopped it.
When I turned 11 I got my letter to Hogwarts. Let me tell you that was a shock, I didn't know a thing about magic. I mean, I had read the books, and I believed in it, and some really freaky shit had happened around me. But the idea that *I* could do magic? The girl who was slowly dying?
Anyway, around that same time I found St. Mungo's, someone in Diagon Alley told me about it. Too late even for magic. They could slow it down, give me even more time, but this thing would still kill me eventually.
Let me tell you something. When every day you wake up and it's a complete shock, for me anyway, risk just isn't something you consider. Oh sure, there's all kinds of cancer patients that spend their lives in the hospital, trying desperately to have a few more days or weeks than they would have, but God what kind of a life is that? I can't stay in a hospital my whole life.
Seriously, this risk thing? sure, I know the word, but it's not something that exists in my life. It hasn't been since I turned 8. I figured, if I had this thing that was going to be killing me anyway, why should I hold back out of fear? why should I not do something I wanted to cause there was the chance I might die? I don't even know if I have a tomorrow, so I'm going to fit as much into every day, every second, that I can.
Don't get me wrong, I don't TRY to die. I don't run out into the middle of traffic. But if there's something I want to do, I do it.
This did not make my parents happy at all. Being parents they, of course, would much prefer I stay home, or in the hospital. Again with the what kind of life is that? I moved out when I was 10, a friend who lives in England and completely understands how I am took me in. Parents weren't happy, but I really didn't care. And the doctor bills wouldn't be a problem cause I already had my own bank account, with way to much money in it. I made Chandler, the guy I live with, help me change the password and stuff so my parents couldn't get into the account. I'm sure they would have drained it or something in effort to get me to come back home.
I also smoke, that's been since I was.....12? I used to bum cigarettes from people. When Chandler found out he started buying them for me. It's funny when people ask if I know I'm killing myself. I'm already dying anyway, and the cigarettes help calm me down. I do get stressed sometimes after all.
I skate pretty much everywhere. On quads, not blades, I suck on blades. I also have this ability, I can get shadow wings. Exactly what they sound like, wings made of shadows. All I can really do is glide. I haven't used them much though.
There aren't very many people who know that every day I wake up it's a miracle, I mean it's not something I share. how's that for an introduction? 'Hi, I'm Sophia. I might be dead tomorrow because I have seriously advanced cancer that not even magic can stop at this point.' Um....no. Chandler knows, I mean he's my best friend and I live with him, he's the one that gets me to St. Mungo's every three months for my regular appointments. And The teachers at Hogwarts know....I think that's it. I hope that's it.
What's really sad is I'm saying this and I'm only 13. I'll be 14 in a few days, if I'm still alive. I could die any time really. And that's depressing as fuck.
Okay, so I'm sure you're asking yourself by now, why is this girl so sure she could just drop at any given moment? Well, that would be the joy of having cancer eating away at my organs. I was diagnosed when I was 6. I'm going to say right now that muggle doctors SUCK ASS!
They thought there was only a little, they thought they could remove it all. I still have a scar on my stomach from that surgery. Guess what? They were wrong. They missed a little. and you know how cancer works, miss a little and that bit will grow again. There's a second scar on my stomach from when they tried again. This time they knew they hadn't gotten it all, they couldn't without killing me anyway. It's funny, cause I have a cross on my stomach from those scars, the left side. The second surgery was when I was 7 by the way. From then until I was 11 I'd go to muggle hospitals for all that shit they do to try and kill it. I got all the treatment money could buy, comes from having rich parents. Slowed the fucker down, but never stopped it.
When I turned 11 I got my letter to Hogwarts. Let me tell you that was a shock, I didn't know a thing about magic. I mean, I had read the books, and I believed in it, and some really freaky shit had happened around me. But the idea that *I* could do magic? The girl who was slowly dying?
Anyway, around that same time I found St. Mungo's, someone in Diagon Alley told me about it. Too late even for magic. They could slow it down, give me even more time, but this thing would still kill me eventually.
Let me tell you something. When every day you wake up and it's a complete shock, for me anyway, risk just isn't something you consider. Oh sure, there's all kinds of cancer patients that spend their lives in the hospital, trying desperately to have a few more days or weeks than they would have, but God what kind of a life is that? I can't stay in a hospital my whole life.
Seriously, this risk thing? sure, I know the word, but it's not something that exists in my life. It hasn't been since I turned 8. I figured, if I had this thing that was going to be killing me anyway, why should I hold back out of fear? why should I not do something I wanted to cause there was the chance I might die? I don't even know if I have a tomorrow, so I'm going to fit as much into every day, every second, that I can.
Don't get me wrong, I don't TRY to die. I don't run out into the middle of traffic. But if there's something I want to do, I do it.
This did not make my parents happy at all. Being parents they, of course, would much prefer I stay home, or in the hospital. Again with the what kind of life is that? I moved out when I was 10, a friend who lives in England and completely understands how I am took me in. Parents weren't happy, but I really didn't care. And the doctor bills wouldn't be a problem cause I already had my own bank account, with way to much money in it. I made Chandler, the guy I live with, help me change the password and stuff so my parents couldn't get into the account. I'm sure they would have drained it or something in effort to get me to come back home.
I also smoke, that's been since I was.....12? I used to bum cigarettes from people. When Chandler found out he started buying them for me. It's funny when people ask if I know I'm killing myself. I'm already dying anyway, and the cigarettes help calm me down. I do get stressed sometimes after all.
I skate pretty much everywhere. On quads, not blades, I suck on blades. I also have this ability, I can get shadow wings. Exactly what they sound like, wings made of shadows. All I can really do is glide. I haven't used them much though.
There aren't very many people who know that every day I wake up it's a miracle, I mean it's not something I share. how's that for an introduction? 'Hi, I'm Sophia. I might be dead tomorrow because I have seriously advanced cancer that not even magic can stop at this point.' Um....no. Chandler knows, I mean he's my best friend and I live with him, he's the one that gets me to St. Mungo's every three months for my regular appointments. And The teachers at Hogwarts know....I think that's it. I hope that's it.