A gift from the Powers - Part 2 of 3, NSFW

[brambless]

Lifting her chin, Tara places soft kisses over Shane's eyes, brushing her lips tenderly along the lengths of Shane's eyebrows. Her hand rises again to cup Shane's face and lift her chin so that Tara can kiss her mouth, wishing she could just suck all that sadness away like poison and spit it out.

Shane lets out a soft, choked whimper into the kiss, a part of her knowing that it's not really her that Tara is kissing, but her own version of Shane, the one she's married to. It's still herself, somehow, but there are so many things that are different... still the same person in all the ways that matter, she supposes... just different. There's nothing she can go back to... so forward, it is. Reaching up, she slides her fingers into Tara's hair, clutching at it, at her, at the hope that's all that is keeping her head above water.

Humming softly, a comforting sound, Tara parts her lips, inviting Shane to deepen the kiss as her free hand joins the other under Shane's shirt, stroking and exploring the planes and muscles of her back, feeling the difference in strength, some muscles more defined than the ones she's used to feeling. Half a dozen years of change, under Shane's skin, and her walls must be even stronger and higher than that of Tara's wife.

There's no way that she can resist an invitation like that and so she doesn't, tongue slipping past the graciously parted barrier of lips and into the wet heat of Tara's mouth, tasting the natural sweetness of apples and something even more earthy and sweet beneath. Tara's hands feel wonderful on her skin and it's been so long and she's missed this... not kissing this woman, because she never has before now, but just touching someone... finally allowing herself to be touched again.

Oh, god, Shane feels good. Safe, warm, familiar, even though she knows it's not her Shane. This one needs her, though. For Shane, sex has always been a better means of communication than words. If it were anyone else it might be different, but with Shane... with Shane this is the way it is. Reassuring her with mouth and hands, with satin skin and grazing teeth, with the heat of her mouth and the fulfilled promise of her body. Her tongue curls underneath Shane's, a welcoming touch that draws Shane in further, encouraging her to learn and explore, knowing that she's unfamiliar to this woman whose body she knows better than she knows her own.

Sinking deeper into the kiss, Shane fits her body snugly against Tara's, hands slipping from Tara's hair to slide down her back, arms winding around her waist and pulling her in closer. Tara's body knows hers, she can feel that in the way that she moves along with her as they kiss, the way she touches her and responds to her touch in turn. She finds herself... missing Tara, in a strange way, even though she's never been with her this way, before. Maybe missing her for her other self, who must treasure this woman completely... because she knows that she would.

Tara doesn't have the faintest doubt that she is treasured. She's more certain of Shane's love than of her own name, because names can be changed and she believes with every fibre of her being that Shane's love is unchangeable. The closest thing to eternity mortals can ever know. Tongue rasping and curling wetly with Shane's, Tara treasures the newness of the kiss. After all, how many times do you get to have two first kisses with the woman you're in love with? And their first first kiss was under Crowley's push, so this one, in many ways, gives Tara something she'd been missing with Shane and never realised, something that their dreamfasting had explored.

It surprises her how easily the two of them fit together, how comfortably their lips meet and part and Shane's not entirely sure whether Tara is teaching her the dance that she knows or whether she's moving to steps she's not even aware of knowing. Tara's not hers and yet she is... she's not really Tara's Shane and yet, in a way, she is... but finally she pushes all of the almost-but-not-quite from the forefront of her mind, because she is here, now - they both are - and that's all that matters, right now. Reaching down, she grasps Tara's hip, gently kneading the soft curve of it before her hand slips beneath Tara's blouse.

Purring into the kiss, Tara arches her back slightly, giving Shane a little space between their closely fitted bodies to move her hand. She stopped wearing a bra months ago, at Shane's instigation - and the observation that without a bra, Shane would be able to just slide under her shirt at any time and touch eager, peaked nipples. Right now they're hardening with anticipation as Shane's hand travels closer, an insitant press against Shane's own chest as Tara's fingernails rake gently over Shane's back, forgoing the instinctive, fluttering touch of a new lover for the firmer sensation Shane has always enjoyed more.

Shane's lips fall open in a noiseless gasp as she feels Tara's nails graze her skin, the touch setting off fireworks beneath it, her own nipples beginning to harden as her hand skims over Tara's ribcage in its journey to her breasts. Cupping the right one, she has no reason to be surprised that Tara's not wearing a bra under her shirt... she has no reason to know or understand why, but she definitely appreciates the feeling of Tara's skin, breast a warm weight in her palm as she captures her lips again.

Groaning, Tara presses into that hand, her own travelling around to Shane's sides and repeating the rake of fingernails, ever so slightly harder this time. Shirtless would be good, very soon, but she doesn't want to rush Shane. For Shane, this is the first time, and as much as her body aches to feel the satin of Shane's skin against her, she forces herself into at least a modicum of patience.

Looping her other arm around Tara's waist, Shane begins to maneuver the two of them over towards the couch, lips never leaving Tara's as she does so. The next rake of Tara's nails causes her to involuntarily break the kiss again as she lets out a low, gravelly moan against Tara's lips. Her tongue sneaks out to brush lightly against Tara's bottom lip, teasing as much as exploring as she carefully squeezes her breast beneath her shirt.

That moan is one of Tara's favourite sounds - although, if she were to be honest, she'd admit she has at least a dozen 'favourite' sounds, and all of them come from Shane. She's long since become accustomed to this dance, as Shane leads the two of them while they kiss, and her body is attuned to Shane's signals, avoiding obstacles by the pressure of hand and arm and hips until they reach the couch and she lowers herself onto it. That break between their bodies is all she needs to grip the hem of her shirt and tug it over her head, making herself available before her arms loop back around Shane's neck and pull Shane down atop her.

If it were anyone else, any other woman, Shane would simply think that Tara was eager, but it's not that... this is what Tara knows and it seems as though things aren't all that different between Tara's Shane and herself if the way things are going are any indication. Keeping her weight balanced on her knees, she brings up both of her hands between them, palms skimming over Tara's nipples, moving her hands in tiny circles and feeling the hardened flesh grazing her palms. Her lips find their way to Tara's again, tongue stroking in deeply for a moment and thrusting against Tara's before she draws back and sits up just long enough to pull her black sleeveless t-shirt off over her head.

The soft touch over her sensitive nipples is deliciously ticklish, and Tara whimpers against Shane's mouth, her hips arching upwards so that they're pressed as fully as they can be while Shane is in this halfway position. A moment later she's gone, and that brings a groan of disappointment before Tara realises what Shane is doing. Sitting up, one hand comes to rest on Shane's side, thumb tucked under her breast as the other supports herself against the couch, her mouth descending eagerly onto Shane's nipple and grazing her teeth over it before sucking it deep into her mouth with a groan of bliss.

"Ohh, fuck," Shane groans, both hands reaching up to cradle Tara's head. She's starting to realize that losing their shirts probably isn't going to be enough and that the couch definitely isn't the place for this. "Come -- come with me... come with me," she murmurs, voice low and insistent as she reaches down and grasps Tara's shoulders, already shifting to one side so that she can lower one foot to the floor to stand.

Tara lets out a plaintive sound, a protesting whimper that she's being asked to give up her prize so quickly after acquiring it - but it has to be Shane's choice and Shane's pace, so she does let the nipple go, grazing her teeth along its peak as she does so. Her head lifts, reclaiming the more mobile target of Shane's mouth, both hands winding around Shane's neck as they stand more or less simultaneously. She can feel Shane's bare torso pressed against hers, the hardness of nipples, the slight moisture from her own mouth brushing against her, and she wants Shane with a fierce hunger.

Shane wants Tara just as much and she can't even remember the last time she did want someone this much. On their way out of the living room, they get hung up, Shane pressing Tara up against the door frame to lose herself in that kiss again for a moment, pressing herself as closely to Tara as she can, just appreciating the contrasts of their bodies against one another. It only lasts for a few moments, though, and soon Shane is catching hold of Tara's hips, guiding the two of them through the dining room and into the hallway leading to her bedroom.

Tara's more than happy to be pressed between Shane and the door, clutching at Shane's shoulder, fingers twining in her hair and clenching, pulling gently on a handful of strands. She follows Shane's lead, letting the other woman deal with the navigation as Tara contentedly loses herself in Shane's touch and taste and body, accompanied by soft, whimpering sounds of pleasure.

Reaching down blindly, Shane's hand catches on the doorknob, turning it and pushing the bedroom door open so that she can lead the both of them inside, kicking the door shut with her foot once the two of them are past the threshold. Her room is all calm earth tones, white and light, natural wood - the far wall that the bed sits against painted a deep, chocolate brown. No clutter, no mess, her bed neatly made, a small stack of books on the shelf built into the bed's frame.

Tara hardly takes in the room, so fixated is she on Shane, the sensations she's causing and the sensations Tara causes in turn. She notices that the room feels like Shane, but not much more than that as their goal is reached. The kiss is messy, by this time, the movements of bodies dislodging the neat covering of mouth to mouth, hungry and almost devouring, but Tara doesn't let up, her free hand hovering in the centre of Shane's back, a stabilising point that foreshadows every motion, allowing them to move almost as one.

Thankfully, she's barefoot and doesn't have to bother with tedious things like trying to take off her shoes... especially at a time like this. Anything that interrupts her kissing Tara is, as best she can tell, bad and should be avoided at all costs. For a few moments, she's torn, knowing for absolutely certain that she wants to be on the bed with Tara right now, but she also wants to be naked on the bed with her, but if they crawl onto the bed right now, it'll make taking the last of their clothes off somewhat difficult. Plus, they might have to stop kissing, which is - as has already been established - bad.

Tara's trying very hard to let Shane set the pace here. Shane initiated the kiss, and though she slid her hand under Shane's shirt, Shane was the first to touch in a specifically arousing way. Tara took her shirt off, certainly, but only after Shane had exhibited her willingness to touch. For that reason, Tara isn't going to suggest either of them shuck their remaining clothes. That has to be Shane's decision. She does, however, draw Shane down onto the bed with her, hands sliding up Shane's sides to find her breasts, stroking the sides with the backs of her fingers as she settles backwards. And half a dozen years later, in another dimension, Shane still prefers firmer mattresses than she does.

Bracing her weight on her hands as she follows Tara down onto the mattress, Shane can't help but shiver as she feels those light touches on her breasts, her nipples hardening into tiny points. It's rare, the occasions that anyone has ever touched her like this, but she does like it... it makes her feel appreciated... as though she's deserving of the care and gentleness that Tara is showing her. The very idea strikes her as foreign, almost absurd, but that's what is. Shifting her center of balance to her knees again, she lets her hands wander, fingers lightly plucking and tugging at Tara's nipples as they kisss.

She is deserving of that care and gentleness - and that's the way it's always been with them. Granted, were they to tally their orgasms up they probably wouldn't come out precisely even, but Tara has always reciprocated. Anything else would be foreign to her. She just doesn't have quite Shane's stamina, a fact she's often regretted. Shane's hands pull more soft whimpers from her throat, her back arching a little as she presses into the touch. Her own hands find Shane's nipples, mirroring her touch as precisely as she can, wishing she could Shane with this Shane the awesome sensation of a chakra link, where each of them really can feel what the other is feeling.

Shane carefully squeezes Tara's breasts before letting her hands slip down along her torso, over her stomach and gliding along her sides in tandem on their way down to Tara's hips. Her hands slip further still, along Tara's legs to sneak beneath the hem of her skirt, stroking over her calves and thighs as she gently eases Tara's skirt up. Hard to kiss and touch and keep her balance all at the same time, but somehow, she has to manage...

Instinctively, Tara's knees draw tighter together, helping Shane maintain her balance through their firm grip without obstructing the movement of her arms. Shane can touch her anywhere, everywhere, welcome to all she is. She stopped holding anything back from this woman a long time ago, and even if this Shane isn't the same Shane, the rules of their relationship still hold true. Her arms clasp around Shane as well, doing everything she can to help Shane in her quest, though she mourns the loss of Shane's breasts under her fingers.

If there'd been any doubt in her mind before, just being with Tara this way has banished it... this woman does know her. Every move she might make, every time she'll lean up for a kiss or reach to touch her, Tara's already moving to meet her hands and lips, arching to accept each and every touch. She's never been with Tara before, but Tara already knows all of the steps thanks to the alternate-dimension version of herself, most likely. Planting one hand on the mattress to steady herself, she lowers herself down, parted lips brushing Tara's cheek. "Do... would you... do what you do to her?" She whispers, breath feathering warmly over Tara's cheek. "To me?"

"I wouldn't know how to do this any other way," Tara replies softly, turning her head to nuzzle Shane's cheek. As far as she's concerned that's permission for everything, and her mouth slides further, claiming Shane's earlobe in a deep, suckling motion. Shane's steadying herself, now, which frees Tara's hands to slide between their bodies, working on the fastenings of Shane's pants, pausing briefly on the buckle of the belt that reads 'LOVER' and wondering idly whether she can find one like it for her Shane, because it's almost as sexy as the hip chains.

She was hesitant to ask... worried that she might be crossing some kind of a line, but at the same time... she wants to know. Needs to know what it feels like to be touched by someone who really loves her, even if she's not exactly the same person Tara loves. Her eyes slide closed, mouth falling slack as she feels that insistent pressure at her earlobe, suddenly unsure of what to do with her hands or with herself. She's turning herself over, handing herself over to a virtual stranger but she's not a stranger, not to Tara... and if any version of herself can trust this women, then she doesn't see any reason not to trust her.

The advantage of Shane being above her is that she has both her hands free - and Shane's hands are occupied just supporting herself. She doesn't need to know what to do with them. That's the only reason Tara doesn't guide her to roll over, to get more comfortable lying on her back. She slips the tab of the belt out of the buckle, unfastening first button and then zipper of Shane's jeans and grasping both them and the black boy briefs she doesn't need to see to know Shane is wearing and tugging the whole lot down. Once her hands have travelled as far as they can her feet rise, crossing in the small of Shane's back to toe off one shoe and then the other, pointing her foot to slide her toes between Shane's legs and push against the soft, rough fabric, pulling it down the rest of the way.

Tara's lack of hesitation as well as the surety of her movements is surprising, further solidifying her conviction that this woman really is her wife in some other universe. Still, even though Tara might know what to do, she hasn't any idea of what her steps are supposed to be, so she lets Tara guide her, lead her as she will. Ducking her head, she captures Tara's lips in a kiss, unable to resist as she tugs one leg and then the other from her jeans and briefs, blindly kicking them off of the bed before losing herself in the kiss again.

Tara would never ask Shane to resist from kissing her. She's pretty sure that's one of the signs of the apocalypse, and she's seen quite enough apocalypses for one lifetime. Shane's nudity achieved, she sets to work on her own, parting her lips in welcome for the kiss as her fingers fumble with the first three buttons of the row that continues all the way down to the floor on her skirt, her hips raising against Shane's as soon as that's done to give her a little more room to slip them free of her hips. She can't reach any further than just above her knees, though, and her hand rises to Shane's leg, fingers curling gently in a cue for Shane to complete the process.

Feeling Tara shifting beneath her, as well as that solicitous touch on her leg, Shane braces her weight on her knees again as she reaches down, hands blindly searching down along Tara's body until she reaches her knees. Finding her skirt puddled there, she reluctantly breaks the kiss to sit back so that she can pull Tara's skirt off the rest of the way, letting it join her own clothes beside the bed.

The loss of contact hits Tara keenly, bringing a whimper of protest to her lips even though she knows it's unavoidable. Once her legs are free from the skirt she hooks her feet around Shane's ass, gently tugging her forward. "Come back," she whispers, meeting Shane's eyes pleadingly. "Let me feel you, baby?"

Even if Tara hadn't told her she was her wife in another universe, even if she was a girl she'd just picked up at Milk, there's no way in hell she could say no... not to those sweet, imploring words. A sudden smile tugs at the corners of her mouth and she stretches herself full-length atop Tara at that gentle coaxing, settling down between the other woman's legs. "Better?" She asks, brows wrinkling as she studies Tara's face intently.

"Much," Tara replies, her face relaxing into a sweet smile as she feels Shane's bare skin along every inch of hers, the delicious slide of flesh, the radiating heat from Shane's sex just inches from hers. Her fingers raise to Shane's forehead, smoothing out those wrinkles, mapping the changes in Shane's face, the inevitable tiny shifts that half a dozen years brings. This is what her Shane will look like, in time, and she'll be proud to have this woman by her side and in her life. She always has been.

Shane's eyelids flutter and close at that touch, the smile lingering on her own lips, holding perfectly still for every touch, accepting each one gratefully. She can see why her other self would fall so completely head-over-heels for this woman.

Tara's fingers linger at the corners of Shane's mouth, touching her smile, before her head lifts and her lips brush Shane's. Shane had asked her to do what she does with her Shane, and so she doesn't hold back the words on her tongue. "I love you," she whispers, letting Shane feel each syllable in the breath of air and the movement of her lips, speaking directly into Shane's mouth as if Shane could swallow those words an internalise them.

It hasn't been all that long since she heard those words last; though, admittedly, they were being spoken by someone else... who she believed (at the time, at least) had meant them. Still, hearing those three words from Tara startle her, causing her to suck in a sharp, involuntary breath, taking those words into herself, deep down into her lungs. Though it's not so much the words themselves that startle her, but rather the way she says them. So easily, so sincerely... not because she feels she has something to gain by saying them. Quite to the contrary: Tara speaks them as though she's being given a gift just by having the opportunity to say it. She can't say it back, because she's barely known Tara for an hour, but ... part of her wishes that she could, more than anything else in the world...

Tara doesn't expect Shane to say them back - and, indeed, doesn't give her the opportunity. Three words that should never, never be spoken unless they're meant with all the heart and soul. Her lips close over Shane's, a soft kiss that occupies her mouth as Tara's fingers stroke down the centreline of her back, feeling each small ridge of spine until they reach the tattoo at the base. The other hand winds its way back into Shane's hair, just because she loves the feeling of that soft, sable hair between her fingers, and this hair is so much longer than her Shane's.

A barely audible hum escapes Shane's throat as Tara's lips touch hers, but she can't hold in the groan as Tara touches her. She lets her arms slip forward a bit on the bed, lowering herself down a few precious inches more, her breasts grazing Tara's as she does so. Tara touches her as though she knows every inch of her and, going by what she can remember of what Tara had told her, she might very well know hr body that well, since they've apparently been married for something like four or five months. Feeling Tara's hand in her hair, she sighs contentedly into the kiss, lips meeting and clinging with Tara's in dozens of tiny soft kisses.

Moaning in pleasure, Tara's arm slings across Shane's back, pulling her the rest of the way, wanting to feel all of Shane's weight, slight as it is. Her knees bend, positioning the souls of her feet flat against the bed and rolling her hips forward so that delicate, aroused flesh comes into contact with Shane's crisp thatch of dark hair. The kisses begin to linger, not deepening but lengthening, as Tara's lips cling to Shane's, as her hand returns to its gentle, idle stroking. She makes her meandering way back up to just between Shane's shoulderblades - and then drags her fingernails down the length of Shane's spine as her tongue flickers out.

As Shane settles down atop Tara completely, she groans into the kiss and when she feels Tara's nails rake along her spine, her mouth falls open again, the touch of her nails causing a wave of hot, pleasurable prickles to spread over every inch of her skin. Parting her lips, she tips her head to one side, neatly taking Tara's tongue into her mouth as she smooths her hand over Tara's arm. Her own nails - much like those of Tara's Shane - are virtually non-existant; meticulously filed down to nothing.

Every so often Tara wonders if she should cut her nails, to show the same consideration to Shane that Shane does to her - and to have the extra security of knowing that she'll never, ever catch sensitive skin at a bad or sharp angle. And then she remembers exactly this reaction, the way Shane loves the sweetsharp sting of her nails, and she decides to keep them. Her tongue slides along the length of Shane's as she gently rocks her hips up, letting Shane feel how close she is, her fingers moving half a hands-width to one side before repeating the motion, raking back up to the hollow behind Shane's shoulderblade.

Shane whimpers into the kiss, her own hips grinding down hard, more out of reflex than as a response to Tara's movements, as she gently flicks the tip of her tongue against the under side of Tara's. Just testing, exploring, learning as much as she can given her position and what they're doing. She slides her left hand up, fingers tangling into Tara's hair as her right hand slips down between them to palm Tara's breast.

Groaning, Tara presses up against hand and hip, drawing Shane's tongue back into her mouth and suckling on it. The contrast between Shane's hips and Shane's tongue is sharp, one gentle and explorative, the other hand and confident, and under those two distinctively different sensations she's not sure where to go. Do what you do to her, Shane had asked, and that makes Tara's mind up for her. The first time they were together Shane had indicated that usually she gave, rather than received... and there are few things Tara loves better than the taste of her wife. "Roll over, Shane," she whispers, once she's released Shane's tongue and gently broken the kiss. "Lie down, baby."

Something in her hedges at that request for just a moment, but hearing the undertone of heat as well as sweetness in Tara's voice, she can feel her own lips drawing back into a smile. "Okay," she whispers back, dropping one last soft kiss to Tara's lips before carefully easing herself up off of Tara and rolling over onto her back, settling down widthwise on the mattress.

Tara reverses their positions, settling her weight over Shane and stealing another kiss before her own smile grows, soft and sweet and broad all at the same time. Desire rises in her eyes, and Tara's gaze stays locked on Shane's as she slides down Shane's body a little, nuzzling one breast before tilting her chin up and letting the broad flat of her tongue sweep over it. When her tongue rises to the peak she swirls it in a quick circle around before drawing away and repeating the motion. Her hand mirrors her tongue's actions on Shane's other breast, gliding over the nipple with her palm and then using the very tips over her fingers to trace around Shane's nipple, brushing deliberately.

In a little less than five seconds, Tara has already shown her more care and attention in bed than Carmen ever did in the entirety of their eight-month relationship. Unable to tear her eyes from Tara's, her own lips part in a silent moan, eyelids fluttering and very nearly closing as she shivers at that hot, velvety touch on her nipple. Unsure of what to do with her hands, she lets her arms curl on either side of her head on the mattress, the fingers of her right hand catching hold of her left, the position causing her shoulders to roll back ever so slightly against the mattress, thrusting her chest out a bit.

Purring her approval, Tara slowly draws Shane's nipple into her mouth, taking her time so that Shane will be able to see pink lips slowly enveloping her - and the sparkle in Tara's eyes that shows how much she enjoys this. Not a sacrifice Tara is making, but a gift Shane is giving her as her jaw tightens and she suckles, strong and firm as if she would draw everything Shane is up through that single point and into Tara. Her other hand still matches her mouth as best it can, twisting Shane's nipple and then tugging on it gently but insistently, the plucking rhythm matching her mouth.

Shane lets out a low groan, finally losing the battle as she lets her head fall back onto the mattress with a gentle bounce, eyes squeezing closed as she tips her head back. Having parted her legs to make room for Tara, she draws her left leg up, resting her foot flat on the mattress, toes curling into the covers as she arches her back, her breathing already growing quicker, heavier at Tara's attentions.

Grinning for a moment, the nipple sliding loose but quickly reclaimed, Tara readjusts her own hips to take advantage of Shane's change in position. One hand supporting half her weight, so as not to overburden Shane, Tara frees the others from its happy duties for a moment to reaches between their bodies and gently, gently, part the folds of her sex, bringing her hips down on top of Shane. She was unsure the first few times she did this - had never done anything quite like it, until Shane - but she moves now with the confidence borne of practice, as their clits slide against one another. Mission accomplished, her fingers climb back up Shane's body, skating over the hip that would bear her mark if this was her Shane, making a mental note that she wants to suckle there, too, before they return to Shane's nipple.

Feeling the brief chill of air as Tara coaxes her open, Shane shudders as those fingers are replaced with moist warmth, her hips rocking up instinctively, causing her to tremble as flesh hungrily pulsing for attention grazes against Tara's. The bedframe creaks rather noisily in protest as she shifts her hips on the mattress, angling them up as she lets her left leg fall to one side, opening her up for more of that touch. Breath now coming in shallow, aroused pants, darkened and slightly dilated eyes lift up to meet Tara's as she reaches up, cupping the nape of Tara's neck and drawing her down for a feverish kiss.

Tara often wishes she had more than one mouth - and freely admits to somewhat of an oral fixation. If she could kiss Shane, and suckle on those perfect breasts, and her neck, and her hipbone, and tease Shane's clit with the rough velvet of her tongue all at the same time... She can't though. Five mouths are beyond the scope of her ability, even if she were to use magic in the most ill-advised and selfish ways possible. Inevitably she has to choose, and while on her own she might have been torn between breast and mouth, she's more than happy to be guided by Shane's need. They are open to one another now, and Tara returns Shane's kiss eagerly as her hips rock down, feeling the sweet glide of the most sensitive part of her body stimulated, sensations enhanced by her knowledge of how and what and where and why and who.

Shane rolls her hips up to meet Tara, shuddering again as she feel their clits brush against one another's, like a bolt of sweet, sharp electricity rocketing through her and setting all of her nerve endings on fire along the way. She has no illusions that this will last or that it will happen again, but she will take everything, anything that Tara has to offer, because it's already so much more than she's had in so long. She'd come so far, tried as hard as she could, to open herself up to love, to allow herself to be loved... and Tara did love her, or at least some version of herself. As strong as she knows she is, she also knows that there's no way she could resist the sweet promise of it, even if it is only an illusion. It'll give the illusion that it sets you free ... and that's just as good... She'd said that to Dana that night before the concert, when she'd asked if the acid she'd brought along would set her free. This, with Tara, gives her the illusion that she's loved... and that's just as good...

Except that when Tara swore to her Shane that she loved her, all of her, in every possible way... for her, that includes this one. This is Shane, a few years down the track, having made different choices that he Shane did - but still Shane. Loving Shane in every way means loving this one as well, and she does. Not for the reflection of hers, but for who she is, for being another facet of a woman she's grown to love in one facet... like faces of a crystal, but it's the crystal she loves, not just one face. Her mouth turns gentle against Shane's, more loving than hungry as they move, feeling the sweetness grow inside her body and pouring it out her mouth.

She senses the change almost immediately, the difference in the kiss, the way that Tara gives to her... and it feels like Tara's giving everything she has and ... a part of her quails at that, unable to understand the why and the how. All she knows is it's not like anything she's felt before, impossibly deep and breathtaking for all that. No real stranger would ever give this much, not this much... not like this. Tara is her wife. And it's with that realization in mind that she returns the kiss with warmth and gratitude and amazement.

With that change in Shane's response, the differences fade away beneath Tara, because this is the way Shane kisses her. Wondering, yes, but belonging, a homecoming every time. Her hips find a rhythm, slow and sure, savouring every inch of touch that sings through her body, setting off the sensation of red-gold sparks beneath her skin as her tongue caresses the velvet of Shane's. She lowers herself to her elbows, using them for support as her hands find the ends of Shane's hair, rolling strands around her fingers and following them back up to Shane's scalp where they come to rest.

Shane's body relaxes - almost to the point of bonelessness - against the mattress, just accepting everything as it comes and giving as much back as she can given their positions. She smooths both of her hands gently over Tara's hair, down her back in tandem to caress her skin, seek out the place where her own tattoo is finished at the small of Tara's back. Every kiss, every touch, nourishes her, replacing all that was taken away, bled from her drop by drop by carelessly cruel words and malicious mistrust.

Gently bringing the kiss to an end, Tara settles her forehead on the pillow next to Shane, her mouth nestled by Shane's ear. Shane needs to hear as well as feel, and her voice is low and fervent as she speaks, albeit broken by soft moans and ragged, panting breath. "I love you, Shane McCutcheon," she says. "All you are, all you've ever been, all you might come to be." Words she's spoken to her Shane before, but this Shane has never heard. "You shine so brightly, my love... My love..."

"Tara..." Shane breathes, throat closing and preventing any other words from escaping as her right hand slides up, cupping the back of Tara's head and keeping her close. The depth of this woman's love for her - for her, not just for the other version of herself - is awesome and humbling and she can't help but think just how lucky she is that she gets to experience it. "Oh, god, Tara..."

Tara's happy to stay as close as Shane needs her, resting her cheek against Shane's and feeling the soft glide of that flesh as a lesser echo of the impossibly wonderful glide of clit on clit. "I love you," she says again, her voice quiet but the strength behind it undoubtable as her hand slides down to cup Shane's breast to tug and twist on that nipple, adding another sensation to the ones already coursing through Shane.

Shane's breath catches at the back of her throat as she feels the tugging, hips bucking up sharply, reflexively against Tara's as her mouth falls open. She presses her cheek flush against Tara's, her other hand slipping down to stroke over Tara's side, fingertips grazing the outer curve of her breast. Tara seems to know everything that she likes, but at the moment, she has very little idea of what Tara likes... though... her outlook isn't quite so bleak as it had been before as to whether or not they'll do this again...

Shane's hips move up out of rhythm, faster than Tara had been moving, and she lets that movement set the new speed, her own hips moving faster and rougher but still maintaining that delicious slide as best she can. Her mouth captures Shane's earlobe, suckling it deeply, her tongue swirling around the lobe as her fingers pinch and tug. Although pleasure and desire sing under her own skin, a warm pool in her lower abdomen that grows with every movement, her intention here is to show Shane what it is to be made love to. Not to fuck or to be fucked, but to have every touch and movement and breath thrumming with emotion, and so she uses hands and mouth and body to wordlessly explain the inexplicable.

Jaw going slack, Shane's eyes slide closed as she lets her other hand slide up, grasping Tara's shoulder and holding her in close to her, the heat and suction at her earlobe sending prickles of heat all throughout her body. As much as she wants to let Tara set the pace, every one of Tara's touches is hopelessly provocative and it's been too long for her. She can't control or rein in her responses as much as she might once have been able to but none of that even matters, anymore...

Tiny grunts leave Tara's mouth with each thrust of her hips, exclaimations pushed from her by the sensations coursing through her body, the heat climbing up her spin. Shane holds her tight, and if she could speak she would tell Shane to hold on to her, to trust Tara to hold her together as she lets go... Instead, mouth occupied and breathing too ragged for speech anyway, she slides her supporting arm under Shane's neck, completing the circuit begun by Shane's arm and holding her tight.

Cradled but not caught, embraced but not held... grounded and yet not restrained. So many differences, all of them occuring to her at once, in the quickest flicker of a thought and it makes her cling to Tara even more tightly, wanting to be closer, not wanting to be let go, not ever, ever wanting to lose this moment.

The need to breathe overwhelming her, Tara lets Shane's earlobe slip from her mouth with a rake of her teeth, drawing a ragged gasp of breath that gets let out on a long, low moan as her hips move down, her clit sliding against Shane's in the most exquisite of touches, making her weak and making her feel as though she might fly any moment, all at the same time.

Shane lets out a gravelly answering moan, resting her head against Tara's as she pants for breath, squeezing her eyes more tightly shut, feeling something at the heart of her start to shaking very faintly. All through this, all she keeps thinking about is... who is this woman? Where does she come from? Where has she been? How did she meet her own Shane? She wants to know everything... not just about her relationship with her other self, but about her...

"I love you," Tara mouths, her lips moving soundlessly against Shane's cheek except for her own panting breath, hearing nothing but that breath and Shane's, and the rushing of blood in her ears. She pinches Shane's nipple, twisting it firmly between her fingers as her head drops and her mouth finds the curve of Shane's neck where the muscle glides into her shoulder, sinking her teeth in just a little as she sucks desperately, as if the pressure of her mouth might hold her in place when the world falls apart.

A helpless gasp tumbles from Shane's lips, fingers digging into Tara's back as she holds on to her. The shaking grows more and more powerful and it feels as though she might rattle herself apart at any moment, the tension gathering in the deepest part of her stomach. She arches and writhes beneath Tara with surprising strength, despite her fragility, fingers running through Tara's hair, gently stroking it as she rocks up to meet Tara each and every time.

Tara rides the ebb and swell of Shane's body, each movement shifting her weight. Her hold on Shane's and Shane's hold on her, however, is enough to ensure that she nod get dislodged, and Tara learned long ago that Shane's slender form holds surprising strength, packed into wiry muscles. A high-pitched keen beginning at the back of her throat, the suction doesn't relent for a moment, bringing the blood to the surface that will last long after the sun has set, possibly even after she's returned to her own world, her own Shane.

Dragging in a broken, hitching gasp of breath, Shane ducks her head, peppering Tara's skin with soft kisses whenever and wherever possible... throat, shoulder, cheek, lips... and she finds herself hoping that she has enough time to learn this woman. Not just her body, but everything about her. Hearing Tara's noises only pushes her closer to the edge, mouth falling open as her head lolls back, a strained groan escaping as she feels the first telltale flutterings of her inner muscles.

More than anything, right now, Tara wants to be inside Shane, wants to feel those muscles tremor around her and then clamp down, the strength of Shane's body condensed into velvet steel around her fingers. Changing positions at this moment would be bad, though, and Tara reminds herself that Shane has never, in all the time Tara has known her, been reluctant to embrace a second orgasm. There will be time. For now she lets herself get lost in Shane's quiet groan, a low-pitched undertone to her own high keen, in the beating of Shane's heart, pounding against the heel of her hand as her fingers continue to pluck and tug on Shane's nipple and her mouth continues to work the strong, corded muscle of Shane's neck, worrying at it with teeth and tongue and suction, pouring her desire into the flesh.

Shane's toes curl down hard into the covers as she lets out a soft cry, feeling her hold on her self control slipping from her grasp faster than even she knows how to stop it... and it has never been like this. Not ever. Whimpering, she lifts her head up and tucks her chin down, brushing Tara's hair away from her throat and fastening her mouth onto a patch of skin at the base of it, suckling hard to match the insistent pressure at her throat.

Her arm shifting instinctively to support Shane's head as she raises it, Tara's teeth sink down just a little further as her muscles clench and tighten, her keen choking off into a sob and her fingers slipping free of Shane's breast just before both hands clench tightly, and then all ten fingers splay as wide as possible, the very tips twitching as her orgasm takes her by surprise.

Just a few brief moments after, Shane's entire body is overwhelmed with an almost violent shaking at the feeling of Tara's teeth at her throat, something inside her snapping and causing her to finally fly apart, her whimpers muffled against Tara's throat. She reaches up, clutching at a handful of Tara's hair, doing everything she can to hang on as everything is burned away by those fiercely intense sensations.

Losing all sense of rhythm, Tara bucks and writhes against Shane, just holding on as best she can as she soars and falls, knowing Shane will be at the bottom to catch her, as she always is. Knowing she'll hold Shane together, as she always does. She's overwhelmed with feeling, lit with golden light that springs from the base of her spine and radiates up and out every cell and particle. She feels like an angel, something more than human, and yet totally, completely, utterly real and belonging in her body, at the same time.

Even though she can feel Tara's teeth at her throat, still, she doesn't trust herself enough with something like that in the midst of her own orgasm - afraid of hurting the other woman - and so she releases the patch of skin she's suckling on, opting to bury her face in the crook of Tara's throat as she lets out another hoarse, ragged cry. Every muscle in her body is tensed and shaking as she comes, lungs refusing to take in even so much as one breath more until it's all over.

Tara's feet have found earth before Shane's breathing resumes, and she coaxes the woman back to herself with soft kisses up the line of her throat and to the part of Shane's cheek she can reach, gentle fingers petting through her hair, breathless crooning in her ear. Her muscles still tense and spasm a little as the aftershocks run through her, but the sheer privilege of holding Shane through her orgasm, of hearing and feeling her - let alone being the cause of it - takes her breath away more than the lingering physical sensations.

Unable to get her muscles to cooperate for a moment longer to keep her in her current position, Shane lets herself drop back down onto the mattress, the breath that had been caught in her lungs being forced out with a soft whuff sound. "Ohh, god," she groans, reaching for Tara and gently drawing her down closer, breathing hard and with no hopes of getting it under control any time soon.

"Mmmm," Tara hums happily, settling atop Shane and nuzzling her cheek before letting her head fall into the crook of Shane's shoulder to rest her forehead against the pillow. Her own breathing gradually slows as she luxuriates in the feeling of Shane, warm and silken beneath her, her fingers curling into Shane's hair for the sheer joy of feeling the strands slide beneath her hand.

As she waits for her body to settle, heartrate and breathing to slow and return to normal, she turns her head, cheek brushing against Tara's. Even though she can't hold on to Tara, she can still touch her, at the very least, and so she does, hands smoothing over her arms, shoulders and back, fingertips following down the shadow of her spine and back up again. There are a million thoughts bouncing around inside her skull and, right now, none of them make any sense... fortunately, she's never been the sort to talk just to fill up the silence, so she has no problem at all just enjoying the quiet, turning her head a bit to brush a kiss to Tara's cheek, nuzzling the spot for good measure.

Purring softly, Tara turns her own head into that touch, bringing her lips to meet Shane's softly. Her lips draw back into a smile as Shane's hands trace her skin, learning Tara for what she intellectually knows is the first time, but what emotionally feels more like the thousandth. A breather, the eye of the hurricane, time to just hold and be held and be safe together.

She can't say it, not yet... logically, she knows that. It doesn't make any sense for her to. Still, she can feel the words, the response, pressing against the backs of her teeth, fighting to get out. Her own lips shape into a soft, warm smile as she steals another kiss. She'd asked Tara to do for her what she does for her Shane... the very least she can do is return the favor... and she's not entirely sure that it's not absolutely true. "I love you," she whispers.

Part of her didn't expect the words... and another part knows there's nothing more natural than to hear them. She fell in love the first day they met - or re-met - at Deb's diner, in Fandom. She'd been drawn to Shane the first time they'd met, in West Hollywood, years before and unrecognised until the dreamfasting, and could so easily have fallen in love with her then, if she'd had the opportunity. This is another first meeting, and she's falling in love all over again, like she does every day she wakes up and re-meets her wife. It's the best part about going to sleep... knowing that Shane will be there in the morning, and that she can wake up and love her. It makes every night feel like Christmas Eve, and every morning the greatest of all possible gifts to unwrap. "I love you," she replies, the words floating on the purest truth she knows.

Something about the fact that she said it and Tara said it back... means more to her than Tara can probably ever begin to know. Because Tara isn't just saying it reflexively, or because she feels as though Shane expects it - because, in truth, she doesn't; has no logical reason to - but because she can, because she wants to, because she means it. The first time that she and Carmen made love, she'd told Carmen 'I love you'... only to be caught in a hopeless limbo when Carmen didn't respond. She didn't say it for it to be responded to, but because she meant it, but for Carmen to not even so much as acknowledge it... and what it mean... had hurt a great deal. Even though her arms don't want to cooperate, she makes them, slipping them both around Tara and holding her tight. Even though she hardly knows this woman, the words feel true all the same. "I love you, Tara..."

Humming softly, Tara nuzzles Shane's neck, rubbing her cheek against Shane's, feeling the trust and softness and emotion. She's letting Shane have all her weight, blanketing her completely, trusting in Shane's unfailing ability to take all that Tara is without flinching. Part of her wants to slide down Shane's body and lick up the fluids of her orgasm, drive her tongue in deep... but this is more important. To hold and be held, to show Shane that it isn't just about sex. That the pleasure comes as much from the emotion as the body, and that the emotion lasts after the body is sated.

Shane's lips curve into a slow, soft smile as she feels Tara's cheek brush against her own. Reaching down, she slides her fingers through Tara's and, after a moment, realizes that her finger had brushed something metallic. She turns her head just slightly and lifts their linked hands, thumb brushing over Tara's ring. Beautiful and simple and elegant and it feels so like this woman. "This is beautiful," she murmurs softly, turning her head to nuzzle Tara's temple.

"My wedding ring," Tara replies, a soft, warm smile for the memory of that moment, standing nervous and cold outside on the streets of Fandom, Shane so nervous she was already on her second cigarette by the time Tara arrived. "Moonstone, as a gift between lovers, means 'undying passion'. You didn't know when you bought it... it was just right."

"Hmm," she hums softly, smile broadening as her thumb gently smooths over the carefully engraved band. "And I've still got a thing for older women... you said I'm ... what, seventeen, right?"

"Yeah," Tara replies, watching Shane's thumb play over the delicate band. "And our girlfriend is twenty-eight. And really, you're the oldest of us all. Even at seventeen"

"Yeah... I would have been..." Shane murmurs, only to blink half a heartbeat later. "Uhh, am? Fuck."

"Yes," Tara replies, laughing softly. "Katie, our girlfriend. She's a policewoman. Quiet, fiercely protective, utterly beautiful."

"I have a wife and a girlfriend," she says, wonder coloring her words as she laces her fingers together with Tara's again. "Katie..."

"Yeah," Tara replies. "And two parents who love you like nothing else, and a best friend who's like a brother, and a kitten who thinks you're a goddess incarnate." Her thumb strokes over the back of Shane's hand, delight playing over her features as she watches Shane take all that in.

"A kitten?" Shane asks, shoulders shaking as she laughs.

"Dexter. He found us in an alleyway and adopted us. He's the bravest, most intrepid..." She laughs, raising her hand to Shane's shoulder. "This is home, for him. Right here, where he can poke his nose in your ear."

Shane continues to chuckle, lifting up that shoulder slightly - almost as though she can feel the cold, wet nose - which is what Tara's Shane's reaction usually is when the kitten does that. "It sounds... really nice," she whispers, referring to the life her other self has rather than a cold kitten nose in her ear.

"I'll make you a deal?" Tara whispers, nuzzling Shane's cheek, craning up to reach her ear as if she might stick her own nose into it. "All this has happened in a year, love. If I can... I'll come back, a year from now. See how you're doing. Yeah?"

Drawing in a deep, deliberate breath, Shane holds perfectly still as Tara whispers into her ear and, when she's through, it takes a long, long while before she finally nods. "Okay," she whispers, trying to push down the disappointment at the thought that Tara will be leaving.

She has to leave... but before she leaves, she wants to know if Tara Maclay is alive in this world. Because if she is, Shane McCutcheon should find her, somehow. At least this way, though, she knows Shane will live through another year, with some hope to sustain her. Gently she cups Shane's cheek, turning her head into a soft, tender kiss, as loving and hopeful as she can possibly express.

Shane returns the kiss with just as much tenderness, but there's a taste of yearning to the kiss, now, that wasn't there before. If there was any way that she could be aware of that or could somehow control it, she would, but she can't. There are so many things she does want, but the one at the top of the list - at least at this moment - is she wants Tara to stay.

She wishes she didn't have to choose. It's so horribly, bone jarringly wrong to leave this Shane alone, with so little, when her Shane has so much... but neither could she let Shane live without her, and her Shane must always come before any other incarnation of her wife, for the history that they've shared together, the life they've built and the progress they've made, hand in hand. Ending the kiss she slides down Shane's body, pressing soft kisses to the soft swells of her breasts, the flat plane of her belly, the crisp, dampened hair at the apex of her thighs, her hands covering far more ground than her mouth can, stroking and touching everywhere she can. "I want to taste you," she whispers.

It's awful that seeing Tara down there reminds her of Carmen, of that day they'd both gotten their matching tattoos and had been so overwhelmed by all the thoughts crashing around inside her skull and all the conflicting emotions that made her chest feel painfully tight that she couldn't even lose herself in the most comfortable place she'd ever known: sex. That was a while ago, now, but this situation is completely different from that one. Still... "Who -- whose idea was it?" She asks, biting her bottom lip. "Whose idea was it that you get that tattoo?"

"Mine," Tara replies, laying her cheek on Shane's stomach, trailing her fingers idly up and down Shane's thigh. "You said you wanted to get a tattoo for me. Or of me or... you know what I mean. To represent me and what I meant to you. And we were talking, and I'd never gotten one before, so it was kinda big for me... but I want you here, on my skin, where everyone can see you and you'll always, always be. Running through the blood in my veins."

A huff of relieved breath is forced from her lungs and Shane smooths her hand tentatively over Tara's hair. "I... c-can I ... show you something?" She asks softly.

"Of course," Tara replies, pushing herself back onto her knees so she can see properly, returning her hands to Shane's skin as soon as she possibly can.

Drawing her knees up to balance herself, Shane pushes herself up on her elbows and then into a sitting position. Meeting Tara's eyes for a moment, she scoots back a bit and turns around, hand slipping beneath the dark, thick fall of her hair covering the back of her neck and pushing it up to reveal a tiny tattoo of a bird, just beneath her hairline.

Tara's fingers rise to stroke over the tiny outline. "Carmen?" she asks softly, making the link between Shane's question and her desire to show Carmen this.

The breath Shane inhales is deep, but shaky. "Yeah," she whispers. "It... it was her idea. After I -- after I... cheated."

Gently but firmly, Tara pulls Shane into her arms, like a child in need of comforting. "What does it mean, to you?" she asks, her voice still soft and calm.

"That I had to be sorry... every day for the rest of my life," she murmurs. "I couldn't -- I can't see it, but I know it's there... and... every time I think about it, I think about... what I did."

"Oh, god..." Tara whispers, her arms tightening around Shane. She nuzzles Shane's neck, lips finding their way to the tattoo and kisses it as she would any wound - because a wound is just what it is. "She's gone now, Shane. You've paid enough."

"It was my fault," Shane whispers, voice strained. "I should have tried harder. Should have... done what she'd asked me to. Then she wouldn't have been mad."

"Shhhhhh," Tara whispers, rocking Shane in her arms, a hundred kisses to that same spot as if she could erase the mark there if she just. keeps. trying. "Even if it was your fault, Shane," and she can't pretend she wouldn't be hurt and angry if Shane ever cheated on her, "you can't be sorry every day for the rest of your life. It'll break you, baby. Nobody should have the right to ask that of you."

"'It's on there for life,' that's what she said," she murmurs. "It was gonna stay and that meant she was gonna stay and now she's gone and I've still got this fucking thing on my neck and -- and I don't... I just don't..." Trailing off, she shakes her head, finally shifting around in Tara's arms to bury her face in the hollow of her shoulder, both arms winding around her and holding on tightly.

"We can get it removed," Tara says softly, kissing everything she can reaching, holding Shane, stroking her hair and back, crooning soothingly. "We can get it removed, love." Hell, she'll find a spell to do it. She doesn't want that damn thing on Shane's skin a day longer. "Anybody who would want you to pay forever... isn't worthy of you, Shane. You're the kindest, most selfless person I know. You did the wrong thing. Everyone does, every now and then. You've paid. You can stop paying now."

"I... didn't do it to hurt her, Tara," Shane whispers. "I'd -- I never would have done anything to hurt her. I just... I didn't know where I was. It was all just... all just her and I... I couldn't breathe."

"I know," Tara whispers in between kisses, wishing her hands could stroke this all from Shane's skin. "I know, baby. You did what you've always done to find yourself." Shane and sex. It's an addiction, and it's a gift. "You can stop paying now. It's over now. It's over. You're safe."

She'd told Carmen that she'd thought about taking Spanish lessons and she'd started, intending to translate her wedding vows into Spanish with her tutor's help to surprise Carmen with on the day, but she never made it that far. Still, by then, she'd learned enough to know what Carmen had been muttering under her breath as she'd been throwing her clothes back into her suitcase in their hotel room. Dirty, psycho whore... cheap piece of trash... can't believe I ever said yes ... all the women I could have had and I wound up with you. I should have known better... what a waste... such a fucking waste of time... "She was right about me," she whispers. "I... was right about myself."