After the Leather Ball at Triangle, part 3 [NSFW]

[brambless]

Pressing another soft kiss to Shane's temple, Tara lets her eyes fall closed, just listening to her wife's breathing as it calms and slows and returns to its own, natural rhythm, feeling the rise and fall of her chest beneath their joined hands. Their bed feels consecrated, a sacred space formed by their love, and once again it occurs to her that she should give up the pretense of her own bedroom - especially now that Kate has moved into her own house - and remove the shadow of doubt as to whether she might be sharing Shane's bed on any given night.

Taking another breath, Shane reaches over and retrieves Tara's glass of champagne from the nightstand, lifting her head up from the pillow so that she can take a small sip. It's just a good thing that she hadn't done much drinking earlier at the club, otherwise she'd probably be in for a rough morning when she wakes up. "Baby...?"



Tara slips her arm under Shane's head as she raises it, offering support for her wife as she drinks. "Yeah?" she murmurs. "Want me to get some water, love?"

"Hmm... yeah... might be a good idea, for both of us," Shane replies quietly, wrinkling her nose a little as she places the champagne flute back on the nightstand. Reaching for Tara's hand, she brings it to her mouth, lightly kissing her fingertips in thanks.

"I'll just be a minute," Tara murmurs, her fingers caressing Shane's cheek gently before she rises from the bed, taking both glasses with her downstairs. She rinses them out in the sink, seeing no need to add a second pair of glasses to the ones already in use, before pouring cold water from the jug in the fridge into the fluted goblets. An unconventional way of serving water, but it seems appropriate once she re-enters the candlelit grotto Shane has made of her bedroom. Ordinary glasses would seem out of place here, too real in this faery realm.

Shane has somehow managed to get enough of her coordination back so that she could roll over onto her stomach, head resting on the pillow her arms are wrapped around, a faintly dreamy smile on her face as she sees Tara come back into the bedroom. "That wasn't what I wanted to ask you," she says, nodding to the glasses, "but thank you, baby..."

"Oh," Tara replies, letting out a soft breath of laughter. She takes a sip of her water anyway, the liquid reviving the taste of Shane on the back of her tongue, and closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy it. "What did you want to ask me, love?"

"I was just... wondering what you were thinking about..." Shane murmurs, resting her cheek against the pillow, eyes shining as she looks up at her wife, smudged makeup and all. "Before. You were quiet."

"Before when?" Tara asks, confused for a moment. Playing the last few moments before Shane had spoken through her mind, she nods slowly. "Oh. Yeah, um... before then." She climbs back into bed, setting her glass down on the nightstand and offering Shane's to her, debating how to phrase her thoughts.

Shane props herself up with her elbow, turning slightly at the hip to take the fluted glass, offering Tara a warm smile. "Thank you," she murmurs, taking a sip of her water.

"You're welcome," Tara murmurs. "Okay, um... I was thinking. And... okay, we all started off with separate bedrooms, and I know there were reasons for that, but... but I don't really sleep in my room. I mean, when Katie was here, I did sometimes, to give you two some time, but... but she's not, anymore. And I don't want to take away your space, but, um..."

Taking another sip of her water, Shane is already considering the direction Tara's thoughts are going and mulling over the possibilities. On the one hand, as Tara says, she doesn't want to take over her space... although she's usually a very personable and social person by nature, she also likes to have some privacy and space to herself occasionally. Still, Tara basically sleeps in her room with her every night, sharing her bed, and almost all of her personal effects have strayed their way into her room amongst her own things, as well. So it's not as though it would be a drastic change, since it has in fact been a very gradual process that's taken months; Tara interweaving herself, leaving little pieces of herself, scattered all about in Shane's life and consciousness. She knows that if she needs space, Tara will give it to her without question and beyond that, there's really no reason she can think of to say no. "I want you here," she says softly.

"Yeah?" Tara whispers. "I, um... I was thinking, since we've got a room free, maybe that could be your study? And then you've have your own space, if you wanted it, and my room - my old room, I mean - would be my study, since that's basically what I've been using it as anyway, but when the day ends, we... we sleep here. You and me, together. And that's... that's just how it is?"

At the mention of the extra room, Shane's eyes cloud slightly with regret as she ducks her head. Even though she won't say it, that room represents, in her eyes, a failure that she had done everything in her power to prevent. As hard as she'd tried, she just hadn't been able to reach Kate... she's not sure if she ever will be able to and, now that she's moved out of the apartment, that just makes the task even more daunting. Still, the ache in her heart is soothed with Tara's constant presence and love and affection and that same love and affection will help to heal that wound as well as all the others she's suffered, she's sure of that. "That's how it is," she agrees quietly, nodding.

Tara takes the glass from Shane, setting it on the nightstand, and pulls her wife onto her lap and into her arms. "I know, baby," she whispers. "I know." They'd rushed Kate, in moving in together. It's not that they're not together, precisely... it's just that Kate's not here anymore. In some ways, that helps, for Tara. The physical distance makes the emotional distance feel less.

Shane rests her forehead against Tara's temple, eyes closing against the pain... dull, like a blunted knife constantly being ground into her stomach. Drawing in a slow, deep, shaky breath, she rests her head in the hollow of Tara's shoulder, nose brushing her wife's throat. "There was... nothing I could do... was there?" She asks softly, voice choked.

"Oh, baby," Tara whispers, rocking Shane gently. "Don't speak of it like it's over, love. She wasn't ready to live with us yet. It's been less than six months, baby... we've moved really, really fast, you and I. Katie... she's the normal one here. She loves us, and we love her. She's just not ready to dive that deep yet."

Sniffling softly, Shane buries her face in Tara's shoulder, huddling close to her. "I didn't mean to push," she whispers sadly. "I just... I just wanted her here. With me."

"I know," Tara whispers, stroking Shane's hair. "I know, baby. And she wants to be here. But wanting it and being ready for it... they're not the same things. She'll be back when she's ready, and we'll still be here. We're just gonna take it a little slower, right?"

"It's like a bird," Tara murmurs. "You can hold the seed in your hand, but then you just have to be still and wait. Let it come to you, tiny little hops, learning to trust. If you keep trying to get closer to her, she's just going to move further away. She knows we're here, she knows we love her - and yes, we should keep telling her. But we need to go at her pace, baby, not at ours. That's all."

Lips pressed into a thin line, Shane nods deliberately, tears slipping down her cheeks. "Okay," she whispers.

Tara lifts up Shane's chin with soft but firm fingers, kissing away those tears. "Did you realise you and I, we've been together just over three months? That's it, love. Three months. And we're married, more married than most people can ever dream of being, a fivefold link. That's got to be scary - to see how fast we've gone, and to know you're not ready for it." Cupping Shane's face, she whispers, "it's going to be okay, love. It will."

Shane takes a deep, hitching breath and rests her forehead against Tara's, eyes sliding closed. "Did we miss our anniversary?" She asks softly, hesitantly after a moment.

"Well, no..." Tara replies. "Because, um, anniversary is usually a year. I mean, people celebrate six months, sometimes, but three is... not usually a... a thing. But, um... yeah. I mean, it depends on where you count from? That's, um... that's counting from the day you gave me my ring, I think, not from when we started dating. I... I forget. I was going through my diary, trying to work it out, but I wasn't really sure where I should count from."

Embarrassed, Shane ducks her head. She's never been in a relationship at all, much less ever been married - what the hell does she know about anniversaries? "I didn't... I didn't know," she says quietly.

Tara wrinkles her nose, chuckling a little. "I thought it had been longer, actually. Um, much longer. I was looking to see when our six-month would be, because I thought maybe we might do something to celebrate that, but... um, I was way off. You haven't missed anything, baby. And this isn't something you were supposed to know. I mean, I didn't know, until I went back to look." She brushes a kiss over Shane's forehead, a gentle smile still curving her lips. "Nothing bad here, baby, I promise."

Shane almost wants to ask how long Tara was with Willow, she can feel the question on the tip of her tongue, but she catches the end of her tongue between her teeth, lips pressing to hold it in. So instead of speaking, she simply nods, settling her head on Tara's shoulder again.

"What?" Tara whispers softly, feeling a slight tension in Shane's frame. "What is it, baby?"

Shaking her head, Shane slips her arms around Tara. "Nothing," she whispers back.

It's not nothing, but she won't push it. "I love you," she whispers, her hands steadily stroking over Shane's hair and down her back. "And you, my beloved... you are the best wife anyone could ever want. Thank you for tonight. I don't have words, but..." she flounders for a moment, wishing she could express the emotion, and then smiles softly, nuzzling Shane's hair. "Music, Shane. It was music."

"I love you," Shane whispers, giving Tara a careful squeeze as she tenderly nuzzles her wife's throat. "So much... it was music, baby..."

"I didn't finish all thousand lashes," Tara admits, with a soft laugh. "Do you think you've been tortured enough? Or are you utterly unrepentant?"

"Absolutely... totally... completely and utterly unrepentant," Shane replies deliberately.

"Well," Tara murmurs, low and playful. "Evidently I stopped too soon, then. Are you up for more, my love, or should I let you recover from your injuries and just tie you to the bed tomorrow to have my wicked way with you?"

"I'm up for it, if you are," she says evenly, opening her eyes and peeking up at Tara furtively from beneath her lowered lashes.

"Always," Tara murmurs, her grin spreading slowly across her face. Ducking her head to capture Shane's lips in a soft kiss, she arches an eyebrow as she pulls away. "Assume the position then, my love..."

Shane slowly arches her eyebrow at Tara in return. "You're kind of getting off on bossing me around, aren't you?" She asks, a wicked twinkle in her eyes.

"This is torture, Shane," Tara replies, eyes dancing. "This is punishment, for not choosing, the most dastardly punishment I can devise. Surely you don't expect me to ask politely...?"

Shane's lips twist thoughtfully for a moment as she considers that. "Uh-huh," she murmurs succinctly, more to herself than in response to Tara's question. Very deliberately, she grinds her hips down onto Tara's thigh, letting her feel the results of her efforts so far this evening, before slipping off of her wife's lap. "Well, then... maybe we should get you some black PVC... a mini-dress or a skirt and maybe a corset..." she says, still mostly to herself, her tone pensive as she languidly stretches her long body out along the bed, lifting her arms up over her head as her body flexes in a sinuous stretch.

Tara bites back a whimper as she feels Shane's wetness against her leg, and as she watches that stretch, her lower lip is slowly drawn between her teeth and tortured. "Would you like that, baby? I know you like corsets... would you like me in PVC, tight and shining over my skin?"

"You'd look pretty..." Shane replies evenly, lips curling slowly, the heat in her eyes letting her know just how much of an understatement her words are. The muscles in her body relax and she settles back onto the mattress with a noiseless sigh of contentment.

Pretty, huh? From the look in Shane's eyes, she has some shopping to do. For now, though, she slings a leg over Shane's hips, lowering her torso down to brush her breasts against her wife's, and claim Shane's lips in another kiss. This one is deeper, her tongue flicking at Shane's bottom lip, encouraging her to part them and let Tara inside her.

Feeling that warm flicker against her lips, Shane parts them immediately, welcoming her wife inside as she draws her knees up, feet resting flat on the mattress. The silken glide of Tara's breasts against hers is too hard too resist and she lets her hands slip down over Tara's chest, fingertips sliding over her skin, to cup both of her breasts, thumbs stroking over her nipples.

Purring into Shane's mouth at that wonderful, provocative touch, Tara's tongue languidly strokes and curls along her wife's. Her own hands stroke down Shane's sides and behind her, up those legs, tilting the pads of her fingers so that just the tip of her fingernails grazes Shane, following fast on the heels of the bluntened sensation of her fingertips.

Shane's toes curl into the sheets, hips reflexively arching into that touch as Tara rakes her nails over her skin, a low, rumbly hum sounding at the back of her throat as she slowly suckles on her wife's tongue. Bringing her thumbs and forefingers together, she captures both of Tara's nipples, pinching them and giving them a slight tug as the rest of her fingers knead the tantalizing flesh.

Tara's mouth opens, lax on Shane's for a moment as she lets out a tiny squeak at that tug. Her tongue is still caught, though, and after a moment her lips close back down on Shane's. Her fingers continue their exploration, moving back up to rake a little harder over hipbones, and softer again up Shane's sides as she rocks her hips down against Shane's.

Their tattoos are only a week or two old so they're still healing and still fairly sensitive, so when Tara's nails glance over one side of her tattoo, she lets out a soft groan of surprise, thumbs tightening on Tara's nipples and suckling a bit harder on Tara's tongue for a moment, reflexively. Feeling Tara grind down against her, Shane rocks her hips up in a deliberate, answering thrust before carefully breaking the kiss, raking her teeth lightly along Tara's tongue as she releases her. "So... what position did you have in mind?" She asks, quirking her eyebrow as she favors her wife with a curious look.

Echoing Shane's groan as she feels the tightness at tongue and nipples, Tara's eyes are still closed when Shane releases her. The question, though, makes eyelids fly open, as Tara offers Shane a deeply surprised look, a slow flush creeping up her cheeks. "I... you... I..." She can't ask that! She can't ask that! ...Can she?

Shane chuckles and it's a deep, rolling, rumbly sound of delight as she lets her head fall back onto the pillow, her shoulder shaking from it. "What?" She asks, still chuckling.

"I can't... I can't answer that!" Tara protests, blinking rapidly in surprised protest.

"Why not...?" Shane asks, eyes dancing as she laughs.

"Because... because I can't say those things! I mean, when... when you're... it's different, then!"

"Say what things...?" She asks, tipping her head to one side on the pillow as she gives her wife a curious look.

"Positions," Tara murmurs, her lips twisting uncomfortably. "I... I can't... I can't, Shane. I'm sorry."

Nodding, Shane takes a breath and slips her arms around Tara's waist. "Baby..."

"Yeah?" Tara whispers, shifting a little in her position over Shane's hips to try and balance her weight better, so as not to crush her wife's slender frame.

"Tara..." she says deliberately, drawing her arms from around her wife's waist to catch hold of her wrists and gently draw her hands down, placing one on each of her breasts. "If you can do it, you should be able to say it. You know I'd never laugh at you, love. Not ever."

Tara's fingers curl softly on Shane's breasts, looks at those and the way the soft flesh gives under her hands rather than Shane's eyes. "I feel silly," she murmurs, biting her lip. "And I... I can't order you around like that. I mean, that's not playing, that's... I don't know. It's... it's just different."

"Tara, trust me, you don't have to order me... baby, you know I love everything you do..." Shane murmurs, drawing her own hands away and slipping them under her head, leaving Tara's hands free to play and, as they do, she lets out a long, low purr of appreciation.

Wordlessly, Tara slips down Shane's body, supporting the outer curves of her small breasts with each hand as she rubs her cheek over one and then the other, just feeling the softness against flushed, warm cheeks. Her legs settle between Shane's, enfolding herself into the cradle of Shane's hips, if not her embrace.

Shane can feel the slight temperature difference of Tara's flushed skin and it almost makes her gasp. Lips shaping into a warm smile, she lifts her head from the pillow and leans down, pressing a kiss to her wife's hair. Drawing her right leg up, she rubs the length of it along Tara's side and hip, shivering inwardly at the sweet whisper of her skin against Tara's.

Tara's eyes flutter shut as she feels that long slide, a soft hum of appreciation creeping out of her mouth. The sound seems to stop her in her tracks, and she continues the brush of her cheek until Shane's nipple brushes against her upper lip - and then she begins to explore. Tiny nips and nibbles to Shane's aureola, suckling gently on the skin just below her nipple, so that the sensitive tip pushes against her top lip but is denied entry for long moments. Gradually, she increases the suction, pulling more and more of Shane's breast into her mouth until the nipple is pulled in by that current, barely brushing Tara's upper teeth as it finally reaches the position of prominence, against the roof of Tara's mouth where hard palette changes to soft, her tongue pulsing strongly on the underside and pushing it up, time and time again against that firm surface.

Biting her bottom lip, Shane's fingers curl into her own hair, gripping it tightly as Tara suckles and nibbles. The feeling is wonderful and it's certainly a wonderful distraction, but this is something that's important to her. Leg still sliding back and forth along Tara's side, she rocks her hips up ever so slightly. "Baby..." she whispers.

"Mmm?" Tara hums the question, not stopping in her attentions though she rocks her hips down against Shane's as she feels her wife's hips move.

Shane draws her hands out from where they're folded beneath her head and reaches down, burying her fingers in Tara's hair, gently carding through it as the heavy fall of it tumbles over her fingers. "Tara... talk dirty to me," she murmurs, her voice still a hushed, heated whisper.

She's only ever done this when either she or Shane - usually both - were aroused beyond the point of clear and rational thought. To do that - to talk dirty to Shane - when they're largely sated... she doesn't know how. But Shane wants it, and that's always the only thing she needs to know. Shane wants it. It's her job to figure out how to make it happen. She just doesn't know where to begin.

She can sense Tara's hesitation and is, as always, mindful of not pushing too hard or too far... still, they each have their own challenges to overcome: Tara, with her hesitance to use coarse language like she does and herself just simply asking for what she wants. In a way, she's still scared to even think about asking for anything, but... she's trying. Shane licks her lips, her hands still running slowly through Tara's hair. "Remember ... how you said that we're making love, even when we're fucking? That no matter what we do, we love each other," she begins quietly. "Just... tell me what you'd love to do to me, Tara..."

"I love you, Shane," Tara begins. It's not what Shane wants, she knows, but maybe it's like writing an essay. A blank page stares back at you, and the first sentence is always the hardest. She'd always gone back and completely rewritten her introductions, but once she'd started writing it wasn't so hard to continue. Maybe if she can just make the words come - any words - she can find the words Shane wants. "I love your smell, your taste... your voice. Oh, gods, I love your voice, Shane. The sounds you make... You know I can come just from listening to the sounds you make, with my tongue on... on your pearl, and my fingers deep inside you." They call it the 'Goddess's Pearl', the only part of the human body designed exclusively for pleasure, proof positive that women are supposed to enjoy sex, no matter what patriarchal history has said about it. She can't say 'clit'. It sounds too crude, and she's too self-conscious to let herself go that way. Not yet.

"I love you, too, baby," Shane whispers, eyes shining with encouragement and pride as she smooths Tara's hair back out of her face, thumbs gently stroking over her cheeks. She wraps her leg around Tara's hip, slowly drawing her in closer, but silently coaxing her up as well.

Tara drags herself upwards in response to that signal, settling her weight onto Shane, her full breasts crushing against Shane's smaller ones, bringing her mouth down to Shane's for a soft, coaxing kiss, her tongue seeking entrance and then softly curling and rasping against Shane's, more plaintive than demanding. If her mouth is occupied in kissing she can't talk.

Shane purrs softly into the kiss, hands still tenderly petting and stroking Tara's hair and face as they kiss, she wraps both of her legs around Tara's waist, locking them together loosely at the ankles. It's not as though she's afraid Tara will go anywhere; she just wants to feel as much of Tara's skin against her own as she can. She lets her hands slip from her wife's hair and slide down in tandem over her back, gently stroking. When their lips part, she rests her cheek against Tara's, lips nestling close to her ear. "You know," she begins, her voice a low, almost conversational murmur, "one of the reasons I got those toys... is I know how much you like touching me. Just think about it, baby... you... laying back on the bed and I'm riding you... and you can touch me however you want." Her fingertips trail lightly back and forth over the back of Tara's wrist, gently coaxing her hand up to touch. "I know you like my breasts... you could play with them while you're fucking me..." Turning her head just slightly, she nuzzles Tara's throat.

Hands slowly moving up Shane's body, Tara's thumb slides into the gap below their breasts, where torsos don't quite touch. Her fingers curl and wrap around, and she uses her elbows to lift her up slightly, settling down so that her hardening nipples rest squarely against Shane's, allowing her fingers to roll the two together. Slow pinches, tantalising the flesh, pressure gradually increasing as she rolls them back and forth, teasing them both to diamond peaks. "I do," she murmurs. "I love your breasts. I love when you ride me, and they're just out of reach of my mouth, and I'm so hungry for you that I think I'll scream if I can't bring you just a little closer, a little further down."

Shane's eyes flutter closed for a moment as Tara teases the both of them and she reaches up, sliding her fingers into Tara's hair again, running her fingers through it and smoothing it over her bare shoulders. Normally, a move like that is better suited to the salon, but she just loves the feeling of Tara's hair sliding between her fingers. "I know I probably don't say it enough... but, baby, I love hearing your voice, too," she says softly. "So much."

"I, um... I get loud, sometimes," Tara replies, just as softly. "I know I, um... I scream and wail and... and sing, sometimes, which is weird, but... I'm not good with words, Shane. I don't know how to, um... how to talk dirty. But when you take away the words... I know how to do that. Or, um... sometimes I can't not. Trying to hold back the noises, it's... it's like trying to hold back the tide, or trying to hold back the orgasm itself, you know?"

Nodding slowly, Shane lets her eyes slide closed again, trying to do everything she can think of to push down the disappointment and put a lid on it. "Yeah..." she whispers.

"Shane," Tara whispers, lowering her head to nudge her wife with her nose. "I'm not saying I won't, baby. I just, um... I'm not sure what to say, and I... So I'm just saying what I'm thinking, okay? I know you want to hear me, I'm just... just trying to give you something to hear." But her words are all wrong, not what Shane wants, and she feels helpless. She's hurt Shane again.

"It's okay... you don't -- you don't have to say anything," Shane says softly. "It was just... another stupid idea."

"Shane," Tara says, her voice soft but firm. "Look at me."

Shane's brows knit together, eyes pinching shut more tightly for a moment before she opens her eyes and hesitantly glances at Tara.

"I have never, never, heard a stupid idea come out of your mouth. Never." Her gaze is steady, her jaw set stubbornly for all the compassion in her face. "Not once."

Having no idea how to respond, no way to contradict Tara, Shane looks at her silently for several long moments and then finally looks away, though her eyes remain open.

She has to find the words for this. It's important, and so she takes a moment to think, nuzzling Shane's cheek, feeling the softness there. "I... you remember the list, Shane? The things I said before, when, um... when you were fucking me? And then I wanted you to choose one? You remember what they were?" It doesn't count if she doesn't say it, though, and she lowers her mouth further, nestling her lips right against Shane's ear. "I want you to ride my mouth, Shane," she whispers, her cheek growing hot against Shane's.

Hearing those words, Shane's eyes flutter closed again, only this time it's because she can feel something inside her clench and a soft, involuntary huff of breath is forced from her lungs. She can feel Tara's cheek warming against hers and she turns her head, slowly and carefully rubbing her cheek against Tara's.

Tara hums softly, returning that soft caress of cheek to cheek. "I want you on my face," she whispers. "So every breath I take I can smell you, every noise I make hums against you. I want to feel you buck against my tongue - I've still got more than half of those hundred lashes, right?" She was right. It is easier, now that she's begun, and there's not a blank page metaphorically staring at her.

"I-it... it was a thousand," Shane murmurs softly, pressing her cheek against Tara's and drawing some of that heat from her wife's flushed skin.

"Yeah," Tara murmurs back. "It was, wasn't it? How far did you think I got up to? Two hundred or so?"

"Maybe... it felt more like one-fifty, to me," she replies.

"One-fifty?" Tara draws back a little, enough for Shane to see the arch of her eyebrow. "You are a glutton for punishment, aren't you? Or is this a sincere effort to reform your wicked, non-choosing ways?"

"Umm... both?" Shane asks, arching her own eyebrow as she looks at Tara.

Tara growls, dropping back down to Shane's mouth for a harder kiss. "Eyebrow," she murmurs, her only explanation before her tongue slips into Shane's mouth, dragging and sliding along Shane's own.

"Mmph...! Mmm..." Reaching up, Shane cradles Tara's face in her hands, suckling slowly on her wife's tongue as her legs tighten around Tara's waist.

It's entirely possible that what Shane was trying to say right then was of earthshattering importance. If that was the case, though, she probably wouldn't be suckling on Tara's tongue, so Tara feels no doubt or guilt at all in indulging in the kiss. Her fingers return to their slow, steady teasing of both their nipples, which had softened in the long moments of less-than-entirely-cheerful discussion as her hips rock down against Shane's in response to the pressure at the small of her back.

Shane always files her nails down neatly, very nearly to the quick, so Shane can't rake her nails over Tara's back the way that Tara might drag her nails over the highly sensitive skin of her hip, but her fingers can do other things just as well. Letting her hands slip from Tara's face, she trails her fingertips of her wife's throat and along her shoulders, both hands moving in perfect sync with each other. As Tara rocks against her, she reaches around, gripping Tara's shoulders, fingers digging in slightly as she unwinds one leg from around her wife's waist, resting her foot flat on the mattress so that she has enough leverage to thrust back.

Tara frees one hand to reach down and grip Shane's thigh, wordless approval for her motion, her fingers clenching and kneading the flesh there in a manner that's almost - but not quite - gentle. After a moment she carefully breaks the kiss, needing to speak while she still has the courage. "The harness, baby. I want to wear it. Not use it, just... just wear it. Get used to it. Okay?"

Meeting Tara's eyes, Shane's mouth hangs open for a few moments. "You... you mean... now?" She asks, shaking her head a little.

"I... unless that's a bad idea?" Tara replies, softer now. She's not sure whether the way Shane's shaking her head is disbelief or disapproval, and she drags her lower lip between her teeth, wondering if perhaps she should have let the moment of courage pass without speaking.

"N-no, no... I -- I just... I didn't know if..." Shane murmurs, shaking her head a bit more emphatically. "I didn't know if you meant now or... or... y'know..."

"I, um... yeah. I meant now. If... if that's a good idea. I mean, for you, too. I just, um... I just thought maybe if I got used to it, so it wasn't so... so it was familiar, you know? Kind of, um... kind of made friends with it?" Which sounds utterly stupid, now that she says it out loud.

"No, no, it's okay," she replies, reaching down and smoothing her hands over Tara's hips, gently stroking them. "Do you -- do you want me to help you...? Y'know, put it on?"

"Yeah," Tara replies, nodding. "I... I wouldn't know where to start. Except there's buckles, so... they buckle. I can do that much." The touch on her hips is soft and silken, and she wonders how much sensation the harness will block... but this is a first step.

"It probably looks really complicated, huh? I promise, it's not... I can show you how," Shane murmurs, leaning up to brush a soft kiss to Tara's lips.

"I know you can," Tara replies, following Shane's lips down to steal another one before letting herself slide onto the bed next to her wife. "I trust you, Shane." So much, in those simple words - which, in their own way, are as precious as 'I love you'.

Once they start, it's difficult to stop and Shane leans over, pressing one last firm kiss to Tara's lips before she sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed. Leaning down, she picks the harness up out of the box and adjusts the straps so that they aren't tangled together or twisted about. She glances back over her shoulder at Tara. "Come here, baby, and stand in front of me?" She asks.

"Okay," Tara replies, following Shane to the side of the bed and standing in front of her, resting one hand on her shoulder for balance. "I, um... I just step in, yeah?"

"Yeah," Shane says, looking up at her with a smile. Holding the harness between her hands, she fans her fingers out so that Tara can see the way the straps hang. "Look down...? Okay, see the separate loops? One foot goes in each loop..."

That much she can do, just like stepping into a pair of underwear. She's grateful for the hand on Shane's shoulder as she steps in with her right foot, then her left, as much for the contact that stills the nervousness in the pit of her stomach as for the balance it provides as she shifts her weight off-centre.

Once Tara is standing squarely on her feet again, Shane gently slides the harness up, settling it around her hips, holding the straps taut so that the front piece of the harness is covering the thatch of dark blond hair between her legs. "All right... put your hand over this and hold that there for me? I wanna adjust the straps so it fits you better," she murmurs. "This part shouldn't move, but it should still be comfortable, okay?"

Tara does as instructed, quietly murmuring, "this is going to be a little more intimate than leather pants, huh? And I thought nothing could be more skintight than those were..."

Shane chuckles as she gently grasps Tara's hip, guiding her to turn to one side so that she can adjust the buckles on that side. "It's not supposed to be skin-tight, baby... it can move a little bit," she murmurs. "Actually, it's usually better if it does move a little. That way you can feel it, too. Just long as it's still comfortable for you."

"Okay," Tara murmurs. "I wondered if there was something on the inside, that's supposed to, um... rub? Or, um... or is that why you got the purple one?"

"They do make some dildos with little rubber nubs on the wearer's end, yeah," Shane replies, nodding. At the mention of the purple dildo, she gets a thoughtful expression on her face. "There was supposed to be one more in here..." Bending down, she picks up the black box and places it in her lap, picking through the toys and comes up with another one. Much like the purple toy, it has two ends, though one end is rather bulbous and curves up almost at a forty-five degree angle, while the rest of the dildo is long, with gentle curves molded into the length. "Ahh, here... see the way this is shaped? You can use this and you don't even need a harness... and see these little ridges, here, and this shorter, thicker part? That's the wearer's end..."

Tara reaches out her hand and touches this one, stroking gentle fingers along the length that almost looks like glass, but finding it warm and slightly soft. "I like this one," she murmurs, the corner of her mouth curving up in a tentative smile. She's not sure why it's different - somehow it seems less penis-like than the others, less like it's trying to replace something she doesn't have, doesn't need and doesn't want. "This one is... nice."

"Yeah... when I first saw it in the catalogue online, I thought it was art or something... it's actually really beautiful," Shane says, a faintly amused lilt coloring her words. "It's like a sculpture. You wanna hold it...?"

Nodding, Tara takes it in her hands, feeling its weight, fingers closing loosely around it to explore its shape. "It is beautiful," she murmurs. "I... I like this one, Shane." She catches Shane's eyes, wanting to undo the hesitation she'd had earlier in the night, the reaction that had so hurt Shane. "Thank you."

They obviously had a winner. Meeting Tara's eyes, Shane smiles warmly at her as she reaches up and gently begins unbuckling the harness which she'd ultimately only gotten half fastened. "I'm glad you like it, baby," she whispers, eyes shining as she lets the harness drop to puddle at Tara's feet and reaches up to gently smooth her hands over Tara's hips and down along her thighs.