Guess what...I'm bored again.
Ooh my pretties, you're in for a treat, as i have a rant AND an invention for you tonight!
Invention:
(Ok, its not really an invention, but a modification of an already existing product.)
'The toilet...of tomorrow....TODAY!'
It doesn't really bother me, but the matter of gender and toilet seats still looms largely as nothing has been done.
But I will put an end to it.
As a man...a 21st century man....an attractive 21st century man....i believe all the bally-hoo should be ended. So i propose that standard toilet seat we know and love should be made bigger.
Think about it. With the new(ish) fast food generation, toilet seats should be made bigger to cater for the more portly generation. As many men would agree, lifting the seat is quite tasking, and if you leave the seat down it's almost impossible to be 100% accurate.
So, in a McDonalized Britain, and America for that matter, the toilet seat should be made bigger; to eliminate the hassle of seat lifting. After all, in an age of unisex toilets....
This would give men a far more fair chance of getting it right. Plus I'm surprised we actually put up with it...i mean, a toilet seat is just an accesory to the basis of a toilet, that was invented by a man, so WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE HAVE TO PULL IT UP AND DOWN?! But being the sensitive, fair, attractive human being i am, i didn't moan. I WENT OUT, FOR US, AND MADE A SOLUTION!
But, i hear you ask with my ears i have, what about skinny people? WHAT ABOUT US, YOU CRAZY ATTRACTIVE MAN!
That's simple, and i'll tell you why.
Inside the bigger seat, there will be a smaller seat, that is controlled by a button next to the flush to slide out, and also back in. The toilet will have never been more sanitary.
Also in the pipe line is the Human Ass Wipe, whom i named George after my favourite U.S president.
Keep my dream alive, send me £10 a day for 5 years, and the timeless toilet seat debate will be history.
You know it makes sense.
Invention:
(Ok, its not really an invention, but a modification of an already existing product.)
'The toilet...of tomorrow....TODAY!'
It doesn't really bother me, but the matter of gender and toilet seats still looms largely as nothing has been done.
But I will put an end to it.
As a man...a 21st century man....an attractive 21st century man....i believe all the bally-hoo should be ended. So i propose that standard toilet seat we know and love should be made bigger.
Think about it. With the new(ish) fast food generation, toilet seats should be made bigger to cater for the more portly generation. As many men would agree, lifting the seat is quite tasking, and if you leave the seat down it's almost impossible to be 100% accurate.
So, in a McDonalized Britain, and America for that matter, the toilet seat should be made bigger; to eliminate the hassle of seat lifting. After all, in an age of unisex toilets....
This would give men a far more fair chance of getting it right. Plus I'm surprised we actually put up with it...i mean, a toilet seat is just an accesory to the basis of a toilet, that was invented by a man, so WHY THE FUCK SHOULD WE HAVE TO PULL IT UP AND DOWN?! But being the sensitive, fair, attractive human being i am, i didn't moan. I WENT OUT, FOR US, AND MADE A SOLUTION!
But, i hear you ask with my ears i have, what about skinny people? WHAT ABOUT US, YOU CRAZY ATTRACTIVE MAN!
That's simple, and i'll tell you why.
Inside the bigger seat, there will be a smaller seat, that is controlled by a button next to the flush to slide out, and also back in. The toilet will have never been more sanitary.
Also in the pipe line is the Human Ass Wipe, whom i named George after my favourite U.S president.
Keep my dream alive, send me £10 a day for 5 years, and the timeless toilet seat debate will be history.
You know it makes sense.