What to do?
What to do what to do?
I know I wrote in a previous post that being with friends and hanging with them kept me from being angry, but that can't really save me know.
I know it's only a 1 day prank (April Fools), but peoples reluctance to tell me who did what, let alone apologize for making me me really colors my view of them. And this isn't just a, lets wake up and change my opinion, something deeper has happened to me, I'm waking up and not wanting to see them. I've practically lost trust with them, and i am floundering at finding ways to trust them again. What makes this worse is the fact that I'm beginning to think that I'm loosing Nate (my roommate) as a friend. At one time i considered him to be a kindred spirit, and my best friend. I gave up on that quite a number of weeks ago. Now I'm down to keeping him as a friend at all and not have him mad at me.
Then last night, Nate had been logged into MSN both on his laptop down stairs and up in the room. I had trouble trying to get to sleep last night because it kept going on when people would talk to him. I asked him this morning that if it happened again, that i could disconnect his speakers so i could go to sleep. His response: "I'll just turn the damn volume down next time." It hurt when he said it, because the y way he said it, it made me sound as if it really pissed him off to go out of his way just a little to do that. Like i've said before I dont like pissing people off. It's not fun here at college doing that.
What is the right thing, what is the wrong thing, what is the neutral thing?
What is good thing, what is the neutral thing, and what is the evil thing?
I can not seem to answer those 6 questions because every time i try, i seem to get hurt in the process trying to do at least the neutral thing, if not the good/right thing. And i don't want to push people away like that, not when it's not on purpose, and not when it's my roommate and and my friends at the same time.
I'm not looking at him to be my best friend again, just to be a friend, period.
What do I do, what do I do?
Maybe I'll just go and hang with Tom some more and just watch him make Yoshi fly apart some more.
I know I wrote in a previous post that being with friends and hanging with them kept me from being angry, but that can't really save me know.
I know it's only a 1 day prank (April Fools), but peoples reluctance to tell me who did what, let alone apologize for making me me really colors my view of them. And this isn't just a, lets wake up and change my opinion, something deeper has happened to me, I'm waking up and not wanting to see them. I've practically lost trust with them, and i am floundering at finding ways to trust them again. What makes this worse is the fact that I'm beginning to think that I'm loosing Nate (my roommate) as a friend. At one time i considered him to be a kindred spirit, and my best friend. I gave up on that quite a number of weeks ago. Now I'm down to keeping him as a friend at all and not have him mad at me.
Then last night, Nate had been logged into MSN both on his laptop down stairs and up in the room. I had trouble trying to get to sleep last night because it kept going on when people would talk to him. I asked him this morning that if it happened again, that i could disconnect his speakers so i could go to sleep. His response: "I'll just turn the damn volume down next time." It hurt when he said it, because the y way he said it, it made me sound as if it really pissed him off to go out of his way just a little to do that. Like i've said before I dont like pissing people off. It's not fun here at college doing that.
What is the right thing, what is the wrong thing, what is the neutral thing?
What is good thing, what is the neutral thing, and what is the evil thing?
I can not seem to answer those 6 questions because every time i try, i seem to get hurt in the process trying to do at least the neutral thing, if not the good/right thing. And i don't want to push people away like that, not when it's not on purpose, and not when it's my roommate and and my friends at the same time.
I'm not looking at him to be my best friend again, just to be a friend, period.
What do I do, what do I do?
Maybe I'll just go and hang with Tom some more and just watch him make Yoshi fly apart some more.