Love Lessons (Part Nine)
The flash of red hair, combined with the angry glare, was enough to tell Ruby that this was the girl she’d met the other night. Naomi’s Emily, marching in their direction, and Naomi still hadn’t noticed. It was a split second decision, but instinct told her it would have quite the effect on Emily. Pulling Naomi into her, Ruby placed her hands around the back of Naomi’s neck and started to kiss her, caressing Naomi’s resistant lips until they eventually gave in and started to reciprocate.
Emily halted, stopping completely in her tracks to see the two girls kissing, her stomach churning with jealousy, hurt and anger. It was all she could do to hold her body up, she wanted to fall, and keep on falling.
Ruby pulled back, grinning slightly at Naomi’s look of shock. Leaning in, Naomi could feel her warm breath against her ear, it made her heart lurch.
“Go after her.” Ruby whispered, her head turning slightly to indicate towards where Emily was now turning to walk away. Letting go of Naomi’s hand, and giving the dazed and confused girl a little shove in the right direction. Naomi suddenly registered what had just happened, quickly placing a light kiss on Ruby’s cheek, before running after Emily, who’d managed to walk surprisingly far.
“Emily! Emily!” Naomi called, grabbing hold of Emily’s arm so that the two were facing each other. The tears that were rolling down Emily’s face made Naomi feel so guilty, she reached out, wiping them away but Emily pulled back aggressively. “Emily please don’t cry.”
“What the fuck! I’ve just seen you with another girl! What am I supposed to do? Fucking stand and give you a round of applause.” Emily snapped, her eyes conveying a look of hurt and disgust. Pushing back from Naomi’s persistent touch.
“She kissed me Ems.” Naomi insisted, pleading for Emily to believe her. She couldn’t help but feel guilty though, she’d kissed Ruby back, she’d enjoyed the kiss, and she felt like her face was betraying her, telling Emily everything.
“You looked pretty fucking into it from where I was standing. No issue with PDA’s with a stranger, but you used to be weird about it with me.” Emily complained, looking hurt that Naomi was so readily kissing a girl she barely knew, in the centre of town, not caring.
“Emily don’t, don’t be like this. We’ve split up remember, you dumped me.” Naomi reminded her, Emily couldn’t get angry about this, she had no right.
“Didn’t take you long to move on did it? I didn’t realise I was so... Replaceable. Well, at least it looks like your sexuality crisis is resolved.” Emily laughed bitterly, turning from Naomi and starting to walk away again.
“Emily please. Just come back to mine now, we’ll talk, we’ll sort this out. You’ve just seen how fucking jealous you got when you saw someone else coming on to me, you care about me, you love me, I know you do.” Naomi pleaded, pulling on Emily’s arm, her skin tingling as it made contact with Emily’s. “I can be all yours.” Naomi muttered, leaning her forehead against Emily’s.
“Is this all a game to you?” Emily asked, wanting to pull away, put she was too caught up in this powerful attraction. Gripping on tightly to Naomi’s arms, it almost felt like a punishment, but Naomi wouldn’t pull away.
“You know it’s not.” Naomi promised, tucking a loose strand of Emily’s hair behind her ear. Smiling at Emily as she saw the corners of Emily’s mouth twitch into a grin.
“I’ll find a way of coming over tonight, seven-ish ok? Just to talk, we need to talk.” Emily sighed, checking her watch and realising that she needed to get back before Jenna noticed she was gone. Her hand pulling away from Naomi’s reluctantly.
“Tonight.” Naomi smiled, taking a deep breath and watching Emily walk away. This time with a hope that things could get better.
**
Checking his watch for the third time, JJ had been so determined not to be late for his date, that he’d ended up being half an hour early. Hovering around outside the restaurant where Jodi would be meeting him at seven, he decided to go for a quick walk to steady his nerves. Feeling in his pocket, checking for the twenty-seventh time that he had his wallet, before grabbing his phone and searching for Katie’s name.
“Alright JJ, thought you had your date? She hasn’t stood you up has she? Because if she has I swear I'll hunt her down...” Katie began to rant, JJ trying to get a word in edgewise which he was beginning to realise with Katie was an incredible thing to do.
“Katie! It’s not time yet, I'm early.” JJ finally managed to explain, finally shutting Katie up. “I’m just a little bored, because I’m early, so I wondered if you had any last minute advice?”
“Advice? Hmm, what are you wearing?” Katie asked, leaning back on her bed, watching Emily rush around to get ready for going to Naomi’s. Emily looked puzzled, Katie mouthing ‘JJ’ ignoring Emily rolling her eyes in response.
“A shirt, and jeans. Thought I'd play it simple, and avoid loud colours as I haven’t quite determined her opinion on them yet.” JJ explained, smoothing down the shirt, desperate to look as presentable as he could, wanting to make a good impression.
“Sounds good, aftershave? Cleaned your teeth? Brushed your hair?” Katie listed, Emily having to stifle a giggle at the bizarre conversation her sister was having with JJ. Katie shot her a look, before indicating which of the two tops that Emily was holding up that she should wear.
“Check, check and check. All affirmative, I chose that aftershave you told me smelt nice.” JJ grinned, glad that he’d done everything that Katie had told him.
“Very nice, it smells lush. Well, you know what I reckon you’re fine then. How much longer have you got before she comes?” Katie asked, holding her phone between her cheek and shoulder as she attempted to paint her toenails.
“Erm about twenty minutes, I suppose I'll have to take another walk around the block.” JJ sighed, glancing at his watch again, before double checking it on the second watch he wore on his other wrist.
“Well, you can talk to me till she gets there yeah? I was going to phone you earlier, but Emily needed sister time, she’s going round to talk to Naomi.” Katie explained, lowering her voice so that Emily, who was in the bathroom checking her hair yet again, didn’t hear.
“That’s good, if they’re talking, maybe they’ll be able to get back together.” JJ smiled, surprised at how sincere he was, surprised that he didn’t feel jealous, he didn’t feel anything.
“Yeah I bloody hope so, sick and tired of Ems moping around.” Katie laughed, before starting a conversation about some TV programme she’d instructed JJ he had to watch.
**
Emily started to creep down the stairs, hoping Katie’s loud raucous laughter, would cover up the sound of her making her getaway. She couldn’t really understand what was going on with her sister at the moment, this bizarre friendship with the boy she’d so nicely called a ‘mong.’ At least their was nothing romantic going on, Katie had assured her that James had simply got the wrong end of the stick. It was too strange for Emily to contemplate, considering what had happened between her and JJ, the thought create a slight shudder to course through her body. It wasn’t that she didn’t like JJ, he was a good friend, the sweetest guy, but thinking about him with Katie... It didn’t make any logical sense.
Emily sighed, checking both ways to see if the coast was clear for her to make a dash to the front door. She was desperate to see Naomi, what had happened earlier, watching some other girl with Naomi had made her feel sick, driven her insane with jealousy, and Naomi was right, if they weren’t together then she would move on eventually. Could Emily watch Naomi with someone else? The answer was simply no, so they needed to work something out.
Grabbing hold of the handle, Emily felt a chill as a hand was placed over hers. The cold, rough touch and perfectly manicured nails of her mother. Freezing Emily slowly turned around to see Jenna looking back at her.
“Where are you off to Emily?” Jenna sighed, knowing perfectly well where Emily would be going. Clearly the break up hadn’t lasted long, was there any way that Jenna could control this, stop this?
“I’m going to... Erm Panda’s. English project.” Emily rushed, trying not to look at her mother. Wanting to rip her hand away, but it was still enclosed in Jenna’s tight grip.
“You’ve used that excuse too many times. Emily we have an agreement, you’re not to see Naomi, you’re grounded. Now I let you go to that party because you were with Katie and you stayed at that nice JJ’s house. But I can’t trust you to go out alone darling.” Jenna explained, trying to stroke Emily’s hair affectionately, trying to stop Emily from hating her.
“Mum please, please let me go. Please don’t do this.” Emily begged, feeling her voice shake, knowing that she was going to cry.
“I know you don’t understand, but I'm doing this for you, please Emily just go upstairs.” Jenna begged, feeling herself begin to crack slightly, because she loved her daughter and she was falling apart in front of her.
“Why can’t you just love me for who I am.” Emily questioned, trying to brush away a tear desperately, not wanting to look weak in front of her mother.
“Jen you’ve got to stop this.” Rob’s voice cut through the tension, he desperately wanted to wrap his arms around his little girl and stop her from hurting. He couldn’t agree with what his wife was doing.
“I love you more than you will ever know, and when you have children Emily you will understand this. This desire to protect them from everything, to stop people from hurting them. I’m doing this because I love you.” Jenna insisted, pleading with both Rob and Emily.
“Come on darling, come in the living room with me.” Rob smiled gently, wrapping his arm around Emily, knowing that they wouldn’t get past the front door, with Jenna standing guard. Emily tried to work out what she would do, how she would get to Naomi now, knowing that Naomi was waiting for her and she was letting her down.
Jenna started to follow, shocked when her husband shut the living room door in her face, making it perfectly clear that she wasn’t welcome. Emily immediately flung herself on her father, gripping on tightly as he wrapped her in a warm hug, trying to calm her as the tears began to flow. Guiding her to the sofa, Emily crushed herself into her fathers side, as he stroked her hair, letting her cry.
Outside Jenna slid down the door, tears of her own falling as she heard her daughters sobs from inside the living room. Curling herself up, she rested against the door. She was doing the best for Emily, she told herself, she always did the best for her children.
Finally starting to breathe normally again, Emily managed to stop crying, smiling slightly at the massive wet patch she’d created on the side of Rob’s T-shirt. Noticing what she was smiling at, Rob let out a chuckle, before leaning down to kiss Emily’s forehead.
“Talk to me kid.” Rob urged, Emily looked like she so desperate needed to talk and he wanted to listen, to understand. It had come as a shock to him, that night that his little Emily had announced so unceremoniously that she had been ‘nailing’ another girl. He’d laughed it off, ignored what she was saying, but as he’d jogged to the gym that night, iPod blaring, he knew that it was true. Since then he’d noticed it more and more, the way that he would be sneakily glancing at some woman with nice boobs on the television, and he’d spot James glazing over lustfully, but also Emily with that identical ravenous look, whilst Katie and Jenna were far more interested in what clothes the girl was wearing.
“I broke up with Naomi, because of mum, but I can’t do it, I can’t be without her. I love her so much dad.” Emily explained, knowing that her dad understood, because he gripped her even tighter.
Rob knew that Emily was genuine, that she truely did love this Naomi. It was the way she looked before she went out to meet her, the way she smiled when she got a text message. The one time he’d been out for a run and he’d seen them, holding hands and walking along, and they reminded him of when he’d fallen in love with Jenna. Teenagers who couldn’t bare to be apart, he’d known then that he’d love Jenna forever, and he was pretty certain that Emily would love Naomi forever. Rob had decided in that moment, that love was love, and it didn’t matter if it was between a man and a woman, two fellas or two girls. Rob was just grateful that someone was looking after his little girl, treating her right and protecting her. The not being able to accidently impregnate her thing was quite handy too, Rob considered, one less daughter to worry about. Really though, he couldn’t understand Jenna’s reasoning for trying to stop this, she was making Emily unhappy. They’d vowed that their kids would always come first, and for the first time in their marriage, they were disagreeing so completely over something so important.
“I don’t know what to do Emsy. I keep talking to her, but she’s so determined you’re not doing this for the right reasons. That you’re trying to find a separate identity to our Katie.” Rob explained, he felt so completely at a loss, to side with either of two of the three most important women in his life, would hurt the other.
“Fuck dad, do you think if I just wanted to be different to Katie, that’s I choose something so bloody difficult. Do you think I just jumped into this lightly and thought being gay would be something fun to do! Coming to terms with this, understanding this, who I am, was the hardest thing I've done. To then have my parents completely reject me and who I am, it hurts, it really bloody hurts.” Emily snapped, sick and tired of this excuse that her mother was constantly justifying her actions with.
“Baby, I love you, exactly the way you are. I want to make this better for you, but I love your mother, I’m scared if I oppose her I’ll lose her.” Rob admitted, knowing that recently his marriage had been on far shakier grounds than it had ever been before, all the arguments, the tension.
“I don’t want to break the family up with this. That’s why I ended things with Naomi. But it doesn’t change the fact that I'm gay, whether I'm with Naomi or not dad.” Emily explained, she hated making her parents argue, she didn’t want to be the cause of this, it was the most impossible situation to be in.
The door creaking open, made both Rob and Emily look up. Jenna stood in front of them, mascara stained cheeks and panda eyes, taking a deep breath as she scooped Emily up into her arms. Holding on so tightly, desperately.
“I’m sorry, I'm so sorry my darling, I'm so sorry.” Jenna whispered, sobbing as she stroked Emily’s hair. Looking up to receive a look of approval and a smile from her husband. “I love you, unconditionally.”
Emily looked up, confused, was her mother accepting this? Jenna leaned in and kissed Emily’s forehead. Smiling as if to confirm what Emily was thinking.
“I’m going to start getting my head around this. I’m going to really try, and I mean it Emily. I have always loved you, and I will always love you.” Jenna promised. “You should probably get going, if that Naomi is waiting for you.”
Emily could hardly contain the wide grin that spread across her face, kissing her mother and then her father, before practically sprinting out the door. Leaving Rob and Jenna alone, Rob holding onto Jenna tightly.
“I’m proud of you.” Rob whispered.
**
Naomi checked the clock again, it was eight and Emily was an hour late. Naomi sighed, flicking her half finished cigarette out the window, trying not to get upset, but it was hard because Emily wasn’t here. Maybe she’d changed her mind, maybe she should give up on Emily Fitch, because it was hurting far too much to be in love with her at the moment. Naomi’s phone buzzed with a text message, clambering for it, she was disappointed to see the message wasn’t from Emily, but Ruby.
Back with the gf? Or in need of a few vodka shots at the pub? x
Naomi chewed her lip contemplatively, should she stay and wait for an Emily that might never come. Or go out and drown her sorrows, the more she thought about it, the more the answer became clear.
Pub. Lets get fucked up. x
Naomi, brushed her hair, ran to the kitchen to leave a note for her mother, grabbed her bag and headed out the door. The coolness of the night hitting her, sending a chill down her body, it was times like this she wished she had Emily’s warm hand in hers. She needed to stop thinking of Emily though, starting thinking about herself, because really, Naomi thought, the only person in life you can trust is yourself.
**
Emily practically sprinted to Naomi’s, she was fully aware of just how late she was, and her phone was still with Jenna from when she’d confiscated it the other day. Emily hadn’t though to ask for it back, there would be plenty of time for that. As Emily ran she felt free, finally free, because with her family onside, anything was possible.
Spotting Naomi’s house, Emily practically crashed into Gina who was opening the door, having arrived home from work. Smiling at Emily, Gina welcomed her in the house, the two of them wandering into the kitchen. Gina glad that things were returning back to normal, shouting for Naomi to come down and join them.
It was Emily that spotted the scrawled note on the kitchen table, recognising it instantly as Naomi’s writing. Feeling her heart ache as she read the words on the page.
Gone to the pub with a friend, I'll text you if I'm staying out all night.