Kings and Beggars of the World - Part 16
Title: Kings and Beggars of the World
Rating: NC-17
Author: braincloud2
Parings: Harry/Louis, ot5
Warnings: Sexual content, unexplained time-travel, and some offensive language.
Disclaimer: I don’t own people. I don’t intend offense. This is fiction.
Word Count: 75,000-something-idk COMPLETE
Summary: Harry’s on tour and he feels on top of the world-until he wakes up one morning to find himself at the first day of the X Factor boot-camp, just sixteen years old again, and absolutely terrified that he’s just lost the last two years of his life.
pt 1 --- pt 2 --- pt 3 --- pt 4 --- pt 5 --- pt 6 --- pt 7 --- pt 8 --- pt 9 --- pt 10 --- pt 11 --- pt 12 --- pt 13 --- pt 14 --- pt 15
‘What? You’re kicking us out?’ Louis sat forward, looking completely betrayed.
‘You can’t do that,’ Zayn burst out. ‘It’s not our fault what happened on stage.’
‘Calm down,’ Simon said. ‘I know it’s not your fault, you guys did nothing wrong.’
‘Then why can’t we stay in the competition?’ Liam asked desperately.
Niall was silent next to Harry, the two of them watching the conversation.
‘Because considering your unique and unorthodox situation, it will do better both for you and for us, if you were outside of the competition. Once you are no longer a part of the X Factor, you will be signed immediately by Syco and you can begin working on your own material.’
‘You want to sign us now?’ Louis said, his tone losing its bite.
Simon nodded. ‘The kind of frenzy surrounding the five of you is unprecedented on X Factor and in fact, most reality television programs, and it would be best for your careers if you capitalise on that as soon as possible. But the main reason I want to do this, is because we will be better prepared to keep you boys safe if you have your own security team, and if we temporarily remove you from the direct public, it may break this dangerous streak of ideas your fans have.’
‘Meaning?’ Liam asked.
‘At the moment, the more that they see images and news stories of fan hysteria and craziness surrounding you boys, the more they think they are allowed or even supposed to act that way around you. Every time they hear of you being chased or mobbed or like what happened tonight, it only fuels the idea that they’re allowed to cause riots over you.’
‘Hang on, riots is a bit much,’ Louis said.
‘Tonight wasn’t too far from it, and it’s what the media will be calling it.’ Simon answered grimly. ‘So we are removing you from the show, which, of course will cause another scandal, but under the circumstances it can be spun as an emergency response of necessity to safety, and it will be no problem for our lawyers to get you out of the X Factor’s contract. Plus, this way has the added advantage of overcastting your recent reveal of orientation and secret romance,’ Simon deadpanned, looking at Harry and Louis in particular.
His direct gaze returned Harry’s voice to him. ‘But what if we don’t want get out of the competition?’
Simon frowned. ‘Harry, you misunderstand me. As we speak every newspaper, newsblog and weekend magazine is writing up a story about your show tonight-the clip is already going viral on Youtube. I’ve got headlining network channels out the front all wanting statements about X Factor’s standards of safety, not to mention, sponsors on the phone, anxious of the image they’re being associated with, so I’m sorry, I’m being left with few choices here.’
‘But-’ Harry struggled. ‘It’s all wrong. That’s not how it’s supposed to go.’
‘Seeing as the basic end game of the competition is becoming signed with the label, I didn’t think you would object too hard.’
‘It’s not the way it happened though.’
‘Harry,’ Liam warned.
‘Stop mate,’ Zayn said.
‘No, I don’t-please can’t we just keep it the same?’ Harry wiped over his mouth. ‘This is going to change everything-like a whole section of our lives.’
‘What do you mean?’ Simon asked, unlacing his fingers and staring at Harry. ‘What is he talking about?’
‘Nothing,’ Louis said, putting his arm across Harry’s front to make him sit back. ‘It’s just a shock, and we’re tired. Could we maybe talk again about this tomorrow when things have quieted?’
‘We can’t wait till tomorrow,’ Harry all but shouted. ‘He’s making the decisions now, it’ll be too late tomorrow. We should just tell him the truth, you guys.’
‘Harry, fuck, shut up and calm down for a moment, yeah?’
‘No, Zayn! If we’re taken out of the X Factor contract, we won’t go on the X Factor tour. That’s whole moths of our lives that we’ll never get back, and we’re not going to know what will happen instead.’
‘So we work on an album a few months early, it’s not a bad thing, Harry,’ Louis said.
‘You can’t know that though. We should stay in the competition like before and tell him the truth.’
‘The truth about what?’ Simon cut in sharply. ‘Enough. No more lies, no hiding, no secrets. I want all your cards laid out right now. I’m serious, boys.’
They sat in silence for a moment, until Niall finally spoke up. ‘We travelled here from a couple o’ years in the future. We already went through X Factor once, and one day we woke up and we were back here again in 2010,’ he said plainly.
‘We don’t know how, or why it even happened,’ Harry took over, ‘but it did and we’re here and we just don’t want to mess things up. Last time, we came third. If we could just stay in till then again, please. I know you’re having trouble with the press and what happened tonight was crazy even by our old standards, but please, please, just let us stay.’
Louis’ hand was like a vice on Harry’s arm, but he didn’t dare look at the older boy’s face. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Simon’s anyway, the pressure of the man’s gaze forcing through him as the silence dragged on.
Simon’s lips parted on a sigh. ‘I don’t understand why you boys thought this was good idea. I mean, what are you trying to achieve by pulling a prank like this?’
‘Sir, please-’
‘They’re telling the truth!’
‘We’re serious, we wouldn’t joke about this,’ Liam, Louis and Zayn all said over each other.
‘This is why we know things we shouldn’t,’ Harry tried to explain. ‘Why we were so close when we supposedly just met, and why we’re so good at singing as a band-because we’ve actually been together for years.’
‘You what?’ Simon’s face turned mad. ‘Harry, I asked you weeks ago if you knew each other before X Factor and you said no. So you were lying to me then?’
‘Not really, we met at boot-camp the first time around, but we time-travelled back somehow. I don’t understand it anymore than you do, but you never would have believed me about it back then, no one would have. There was no one we could talk to about this, it was all just on us to try and keep our lives together.’
Simon sat back, using the counter to support himself. ‘This can’t be happening. Is it drugs? Are you all taking drugs?’
‘No!’ Harry stood up. ‘Of course not! Oh my God, we can prove we’re telling the truth. We had number one singles in multiple countries, we can sing you one.’
He looked around at the other boys as they stood up with him, their shoulders bumping into his and their arms coming around his waist. ‘Baby, you-’
‘Light up my world like nobody else! The way that, you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed. But when you smile at the ground, it’s not hard to tell, you don’t know.’
‘Oh-oh!’
‘You don’t know you’re beautiful!’
Zayn carried his long note effortlessly as the other boys continued to the end, falling silent for Harry’s last line.
‘That’s what makes you beautiful,’ he finished, raising his eyes to Simon’s.
‘Look,’ the man said painfully. ‘There’s no denying that you five are talented and certainly very creative, and if we get some people in to work on that song, you might really have a hit on your hands-but the point of the matter is that this argument doesn’t even change anything. We still have to pull you from the show.’
‘You don’t believe us?’ Harry said.
‘Believe you? Boys, I’m starting to think you’re certifiable. Maybe once we get you out of the public eye a bit and into the studio you can have a bit of space to yourselves. It must have been hard on you to go from school and college life to this kind of attention… Maybe if we got some professionals in for you guys to talk to, that might help.’
‘We’re not crazy,’ Harry spluttered, and Louis and Zayn grabbed him, holding him back by his shirt and stretching the white material as he strained forward. ‘You asked us for the truth and we told you!’
‘You told me what?’ Simon stood, rubbing a hand over his face with a humourless laugh. ‘That you’re form the future like some sort of science-fiction film? I don’t even know what to believe right now.’
A hurried knock came at the door. ‘Sir? I’m sorry, sir but they’re all waiting now.’
‘Please, Simon,’ Liam said. ‘Please listen to us.’
‘Whatever happens, boys, I promise I’ll make sure you’re okay. You have a potentially great career in front of you. We can work through any real problems together, okay? Just trust me and stop with-whatever this is. Now excuse me, I have to go.’
Harry wrenched himself out of the boys’ hands just as Simon opened the door and a wave of noise rose up.
‘Mr Cowell! Mr Cowell!’
‘Sir, if I could just have a moment.’
‘Simon, the press conference, they’re waiting.’
The man was swallowed back in to the group of people competing for his attention and Harry was left watching him walk away. ‘No, no, no.’
A hand touched his shoulder and he jerked away, his breath coming in ragged bursts. He turned and took a different door from Simon, back into the corridors again. Ignoring the calls of his name behind him, he moved half-blindly through the hall, bumping into people and knocking into a cart loaded with equipment from the stage.
People exclaimed as he rushed past but he didn’t stop, barely even noticing where he was going until he stumble into the waiting area off to the side of the contestants styling rooms. Contestants and stylist crews broke off from gossiping and Harry took one glance of their faces-a flash of Matt’s confused frown, Rebecca’s glossed lips dropping in surprise, Stephanie the stylist’s eyebrows raising high.
‘Oh my God, is he crying?’ Brent, another stylist, whispered, and more murmurs broke out around the room.
A hand hit Harry’s back and dug into his shirt, Liam and Louis appearing on either side of him. A moment later Niall and Zayn were behind him, all of them talking at once.
‘Hey, hey, c’mon.’
‘Harry, no don’t. It’ll be okay, you’ll see, we’re gonna be fine.
‘Hey, we’re right here, you’re all right.’
‘No, no. I can’t.’ Harry covered his face with Louis’ shoulder, talking too loudly but he couldn’t stop, the words pouring out of him. ‘I can’t, this is going to change everything. It all won’t exist.’
‘It won’t be so bad, Hazza,’ Louis whispered. ‘So we don’t know what’s going to happen next, we’re just wait and see, discover day to day like normal people.’
‘It’s not about not knowing!’ Harry’s whole body trembled. ‘This is our lives, our memories that we’re going to watch be torn apart-right in front of us and we can’t do anything to stop it. I thought I didn’t care. I thought it wouldn’t matter, but it does! I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go back.’
‘It’s okay, calm down.’ Louis wiped Harry’s cheeks with swift fingers, looking to the other boy’s worried faces.
‘It’s not okay. I want things to be the way I remember them. I want to have our old fans back. I want to not lie t-to my Mum, and have my old friends know who I am still. I wish this h-had never happened. I wish we could just go back and that none of this would be real. I want-’ he broke off as sobs racked his body.
The boys stayed around him, shielding him from the prying eyes and confused questions around them and cuddling him. Eventually, Harry quieted enough to pull back, catching a glimpse of devastated blue eyes before Louis blinked and looked away, blanking his expression.
‘Come on,’ the older boy said. ‘Let’s get to the car and head back, all right?’
Niall smoothed a hand over Harry’s back. ‘Yeah, buddy. Things’ll look brighter in the mornin’ and we’ll be right there with you, no matter what happens.’
‘Come on,’ Liam added. ‘You’ll make yourself sick getting like this, and I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.’
Harry nodded mutely, letting himself be led away. Louis had a few words to a manager and the car was ready to take them a couple of minutes later. Harry climbed inside and slumped onto the back seat. The boys were quick as they settled in around him, Zayn rubbing Liam’s knuckles as their car pulled out, and Niall tangled his feet up with Harry’s, letting him know he was there without words.
Only Louis kept to himself, his eyes distant as they crawled past the crowds of people outside hoping for a glimpse of the contestants, even though all the windows of the cars were tinted black.
Harry felt his eyelids drooping as exhaustion pulled his body lower in the seat. His gaze was drawn back up to Louis again as they stopped at a traffic light. The older boy stared at his own knees like they held all the answers of the universe, but Harry picked out how the corners of his mouth were turned down and how hollowed his eyes seemed. It made Harry’s chest ache to see him so empty and he wanted to know what the older boy was thinking to make him look that way, but he was so tired.
Harry decided he’d talk to Louis tomorrow and find out then, and he let his eyes close and his mind drift away to sleep.
1D
The first thing Harry saw when he awoke was a bell-shaped lamp edged with gold.
The door opened and he heard Louis laugh. ‘What are doing? Did you fall asleep half-dressed?’
Harry blinked and sat up from where he’d been awkwardly slouched against the head of the king-sized bed. He glanced down at himself to see tight black jeans and one sleeve of a dark button-up on, the shirt hanging open over his tattooed chest.
His heart pounded. Was this-?
‘Come on, they’ll be waiting on you soon. The show’s in three hours,’ Louis said.
Harry looked up at him, taking in his upward styled hair and older face. ‘What?’
Louis rolled his eyes fondly. ‘The midday show, Harold, get with the picture. Whatever, I’m gonna head off with the others then, since you’re not ready.’
‘We’re back? Oh my God, we’re back, aren’t we?’ Harry stood up, giddiness shooting through him.
Louis’ brows drew together and he laughed. ‘I don’t know what goes on in your head sometimes, Hazza.’
‘God, I can’t believe we’re back. Look at this! Look at you, you look so old!’
Louis’ jaw dropped. ‘Excuse you. Just for that, I’m leaving right now, how very dare you.’
Harry let his shirt fall to the carpet and he leapt forward, grabbing Louis’ shoulders and spinning both of them around with a wide grin. ‘Come here, you. Don’t be silly.’
‘No. I’m so offended, I think I might leave the band.’
Harry laughed. ‘Do you-is everything the same? Have you talked to the others yet? God, Louis I’m so freaking-’ he leant forward to kiss him.
Louis turned his cheek at the last second and pushed at Harry’s chest, forcing him back a step. ‘Hey, hey! What are you doing?’
Harry touched his chest where he’d been pushed, feeling off-balance as Louis frowned at him. ‘Uh…’
‘What are you even going on about, Styles? You haven’t made sense once since I came back in here.’
‘You.’ Harry licked his lips. ‘But. Aren’t you, like, happy that we’re back?’
‘Back where?’ Louis sighed frustrated. ‘Back in America, is that what you mean?’
‘No, back from…’ Cold tendrils of dread started to creep through Harry. ‘The X Factor.’
‘The what?’ Louis enunciated the word. ‘What does the X Factor have to do with anything? Look, mate, sort whatever this is out quick because we have to go. They’ll be up here in a minute to hurry you up for hair and make-up. Are you alright?’
‘Yeah, I’ll. Sure.’
‘Okay.’ Louis was still looking at him weirdly. ‘I think you’re coming down with a cold or something, you’re a bit pale. I’ll talk to Paul about getting some vitamins up for you.’
‘Yeah, that’d be-thanks.’
‘No worries. Make sure you stay hydrated today too.’
A loud knock came from the main area of the large hotel room.
‘Harry? Can I come in?’ Lou Teasdale called through the door.
‘What’d I tell yeh?’ Louis gave him a brief closed-mouthed smile and patted him on the shoulder, before turning on his heel and going to open the door. ‘Come in, come in. He fell asleep again, the idiot.’
‘Thank you, darling. Hey, don’t go messing up your hair, mind. I don’t want to have to fix it up again right before you go onstage.’
‘You have my word, I’ll be good. Cross my heart.’ Louis crossed his chest and held up his hand in honour as he backed out the door, but ruined the effect with a broad cheeky smile right before he disappeared out of view.
‘Oh, that boy,’ Lou sighed with a smile, setting her stylist case on the floor by the kitchenette table. ‘Right you. Get your kit on and sit your skinny arse down so I can get started.’
Harry looked at her dumbly until her smile began to fade a touch, but then he nodded jerkily and did as she asked. He pushed his arms through the sleeves of his shirt and fastened the buttons, pausing once he’d finished the task.
‘Come on, slow-poke. You’ve got thousands of fans lining up for today, all counting on seeing your perfectly coiffed hair. Don’t be all day about it.’
Harry tucked in his shirt and smoothed it down staring at the art on the wall thinking it was kind of funny how the world was back at his finger-tips, and he’d never felt more like he’d lost everything.
Part 17
Rating: NC-17
Author: braincloud2
Parings: Harry/Louis, ot5
Warnings: Sexual content, unexplained time-travel, and some offensive language.
Disclaimer: I don’t own people. I don’t intend offense. This is fiction.
Word Count: 75,000-something-idk COMPLETE
Summary: Harry’s on tour and he feels on top of the world-until he wakes up one morning to find himself at the first day of the X Factor boot-camp, just sixteen years old again, and absolutely terrified that he’s just lost the last two years of his life.
pt 1 --- pt 2 --- pt 3 --- pt 4 --- pt 5 --- pt 6 --- pt 7 --- pt 8 --- pt 9 --- pt 10 --- pt 11 --- pt 12 --- pt 13 --- pt 14 --- pt 15
‘What? You’re kicking us out?’ Louis sat forward, looking completely betrayed.
‘You can’t do that,’ Zayn burst out. ‘It’s not our fault what happened on stage.’
‘Calm down,’ Simon said. ‘I know it’s not your fault, you guys did nothing wrong.’
‘Then why can’t we stay in the competition?’ Liam asked desperately.
Niall was silent next to Harry, the two of them watching the conversation.
‘Because considering your unique and unorthodox situation, it will do better both for you and for us, if you were outside of the competition. Once you are no longer a part of the X Factor, you will be signed immediately by Syco and you can begin working on your own material.’
‘You want to sign us now?’ Louis said, his tone losing its bite.
Simon nodded. ‘The kind of frenzy surrounding the five of you is unprecedented on X Factor and in fact, most reality television programs, and it would be best for your careers if you capitalise on that as soon as possible. But the main reason I want to do this, is because we will be better prepared to keep you boys safe if you have your own security team, and if we temporarily remove you from the direct public, it may break this dangerous streak of ideas your fans have.’
‘Meaning?’ Liam asked.
‘At the moment, the more that they see images and news stories of fan hysteria and craziness surrounding you boys, the more they think they are allowed or even supposed to act that way around you. Every time they hear of you being chased or mobbed or like what happened tonight, it only fuels the idea that they’re allowed to cause riots over you.’
‘Hang on, riots is a bit much,’ Louis said.
‘Tonight wasn’t too far from it, and it’s what the media will be calling it.’ Simon answered grimly. ‘So we are removing you from the show, which, of course will cause another scandal, but under the circumstances it can be spun as an emergency response of necessity to safety, and it will be no problem for our lawyers to get you out of the X Factor’s contract. Plus, this way has the added advantage of overcastting your recent reveal of orientation and secret romance,’ Simon deadpanned, looking at Harry and Louis in particular.
His direct gaze returned Harry’s voice to him. ‘But what if we don’t want get out of the competition?’
Simon frowned. ‘Harry, you misunderstand me. As we speak every newspaper, newsblog and weekend magazine is writing up a story about your show tonight-the clip is already going viral on Youtube. I’ve got headlining network channels out the front all wanting statements about X Factor’s standards of safety, not to mention, sponsors on the phone, anxious of the image they’re being associated with, so I’m sorry, I’m being left with few choices here.’
‘But-’ Harry struggled. ‘It’s all wrong. That’s not how it’s supposed to go.’
‘Seeing as the basic end game of the competition is becoming signed with the label, I didn’t think you would object too hard.’
‘It’s not the way it happened though.’
‘Harry,’ Liam warned.
‘Stop mate,’ Zayn said.
‘No, I don’t-please can’t we just keep it the same?’ Harry wiped over his mouth. ‘This is going to change everything-like a whole section of our lives.’
‘What do you mean?’ Simon asked, unlacing his fingers and staring at Harry. ‘What is he talking about?’
‘Nothing,’ Louis said, putting his arm across Harry’s front to make him sit back. ‘It’s just a shock, and we’re tired. Could we maybe talk again about this tomorrow when things have quieted?’
‘We can’t wait till tomorrow,’ Harry all but shouted. ‘He’s making the decisions now, it’ll be too late tomorrow. We should just tell him the truth, you guys.’
‘Harry, fuck, shut up and calm down for a moment, yeah?’
‘No, Zayn! If we’re taken out of the X Factor contract, we won’t go on the X Factor tour. That’s whole moths of our lives that we’ll never get back, and we’re not going to know what will happen instead.’
‘So we work on an album a few months early, it’s not a bad thing, Harry,’ Louis said.
‘You can’t know that though. We should stay in the competition like before and tell him the truth.’
‘The truth about what?’ Simon cut in sharply. ‘Enough. No more lies, no hiding, no secrets. I want all your cards laid out right now. I’m serious, boys.’
They sat in silence for a moment, until Niall finally spoke up. ‘We travelled here from a couple o’ years in the future. We already went through X Factor once, and one day we woke up and we were back here again in 2010,’ he said plainly.
‘We don’t know how, or why it even happened,’ Harry took over, ‘but it did and we’re here and we just don’t want to mess things up. Last time, we came third. If we could just stay in till then again, please. I know you’re having trouble with the press and what happened tonight was crazy even by our old standards, but please, please, just let us stay.’
Louis’ hand was like a vice on Harry’s arm, but he didn’t dare look at the older boy’s face. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Simon’s anyway, the pressure of the man’s gaze forcing through him as the silence dragged on.
Simon’s lips parted on a sigh. ‘I don’t understand why you boys thought this was good idea. I mean, what are you trying to achieve by pulling a prank like this?’
‘Sir, please-’
‘They’re telling the truth!’
‘We’re serious, we wouldn’t joke about this,’ Liam, Louis and Zayn all said over each other.
‘This is why we know things we shouldn’t,’ Harry tried to explain. ‘Why we were so close when we supposedly just met, and why we’re so good at singing as a band-because we’ve actually been together for years.’
‘You what?’ Simon’s face turned mad. ‘Harry, I asked you weeks ago if you knew each other before X Factor and you said no. So you were lying to me then?’
‘Not really, we met at boot-camp the first time around, but we time-travelled back somehow. I don’t understand it anymore than you do, but you never would have believed me about it back then, no one would have. There was no one we could talk to about this, it was all just on us to try and keep our lives together.’
Simon sat back, using the counter to support himself. ‘This can’t be happening. Is it drugs? Are you all taking drugs?’
‘No!’ Harry stood up. ‘Of course not! Oh my God, we can prove we’re telling the truth. We had number one singles in multiple countries, we can sing you one.’
He looked around at the other boys as they stood up with him, their shoulders bumping into his and their arms coming around his waist. ‘Baby, you-’
‘Light up my world like nobody else! The way that, you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed. But when you smile at the ground, it’s not hard to tell, you don’t know.’
‘Oh-oh!’
‘You don’t know you’re beautiful!’
Zayn carried his long note effortlessly as the other boys continued to the end, falling silent for Harry’s last line.
‘That’s what makes you beautiful,’ he finished, raising his eyes to Simon’s.
‘Look,’ the man said painfully. ‘There’s no denying that you five are talented and certainly very creative, and if we get some people in to work on that song, you might really have a hit on your hands-but the point of the matter is that this argument doesn’t even change anything. We still have to pull you from the show.’
‘You don’t believe us?’ Harry said.
‘Believe you? Boys, I’m starting to think you’re certifiable. Maybe once we get you out of the public eye a bit and into the studio you can have a bit of space to yourselves. It must have been hard on you to go from school and college life to this kind of attention… Maybe if we got some professionals in for you guys to talk to, that might help.’
‘We’re not crazy,’ Harry spluttered, and Louis and Zayn grabbed him, holding him back by his shirt and stretching the white material as he strained forward. ‘You asked us for the truth and we told you!’
‘You told me what?’ Simon stood, rubbing a hand over his face with a humourless laugh. ‘That you’re form the future like some sort of science-fiction film? I don’t even know what to believe right now.’
A hurried knock came at the door. ‘Sir? I’m sorry, sir but they’re all waiting now.’
‘Please, Simon,’ Liam said. ‘Please listen to us.’
‘Whatever happens, boys, I promise I’ll make sure you’re okay. You have a potentially great career in front of you. We can work through any real problems together, okay? Just trust me and stop with-whatever this is. Now excuse me, I have to go.’
Harry wrenched himself out of the boys’ hands just as Simon opened the door and a wave of noise rose up.
‘Mr Cowell! Mr Cowell!’
‘Sir, if I could just have a moment.’
‘Simon, the press conference, they’re waiting.’
The man was swallowed back in to the group of people competing for his attention and Harry was left watching him walk away. ‘No, no, no.’
A hand touched his shoulder and he jerked away, his breath coming in ragged bursts. He turned and took a different door from Simon, back into the corridors again. Ignoring the calls of his name behind him, he moved half-blindly through the hall, bumping into people and knocking into a cart loaded with equipment from the stage.
People exclaimed as he rushed past but he didn’t stop, barely even noticing where he was going until he stumble into the waiting area off to the side of the contestants styling rooms. Contestants and stylist crews broke off from gossiping and Harry took one glance of their faces-a flash of Matt’s confused frown, Rebecca’s glossed lips dropping in surprise, Stephanie the stylist’s eyebrows raising high.
‘Oh my God, is he crying?’ Brent, another stylist, whispered, and more murmurs broke out around the room.
A hand hit Harry’s back and dug into his shirt, Liam and Louis appearing on either side of him. A moment later Niall and Zayn were behind him, all of them talking at once.
‘Hey, hey, c’mon.’
‘Harry, no don’t. It’ll be okay, you’ll see, we’re gonna be fine.
‘Hey, we’re right here, you’re all right.’
‘No, no. I can’t.’ Harry covered his face with Louis’ shoulder, talking too loudly but he couldn’t stop, the words pouring out of him. ‘I can’t, this is going to change everything. It all won’t exist.’
‘It won’t be so bad, Hazza,’ Louis whispered. ‘So we don’t know what’s going to happen next, we’re just wait and see, discover day to day like normal people.’
‘It’s not about not knowing!’ Harry’s whole body trembled. ‘This is our lives, our memories that we’re going to watch be torn apart-right in front of us and we can’t do anything to stop it. I thought I didn’t care. I thought it wouldn’t matter, but it does! I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to go back.’
‘It’s okay, calm down.’ Louis wiped Harry’s cheeks with swift fingers, looking to the other boy’s worried faces.
‘It’s not okay. I want things to be the way I remember them. I want to have our old fans back. I want to not lie t-to my Mum, and have my old friends know who I am still. I wish this h-had never happened. I wish we could just go back and that none of this would be real. I want-’ he broke off as sobs racked his body.
The boys stayed around him, shielding him from the prying eyes and confused questions around them and cuddling him. Eventually, Harry quieted enough to pull back, catching a glimpse of devastated blue eyes before Louis blinked and looked away, blanking his expression.
‘Come on,’ the older boy said. ‘Let’s get to the car and head back, all right?’
Niall smoothed a hand over Harry’s back. ‘Yeah, buddy. Things’ll look brighter in the mornin’ and we’ll be right there with you, no matter what happens.’
‘Come on,’ Liam added. ‘You’ll make yourself sick getting like this, and I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.’
Harry nodded mutely, letting himself be led away. Louis had a few words to a manager and the car was ready to take them a couple of minutes later. Harry climbed inside and slumped onto the back seat. The boys were quick as they settled in around him, Zayn rubbing Liam’s knuckles as their car pulled out, and Niall tangled his feet up with Harry’s, letting him know he was there without words.
Only Louis kept to himself, his eyes distant as they crawled past the crowds of people outside hoping for a glimpse of the contestants, even though all the windows of the cars were tinted black.
Harry felt his eyelids drooping as exhaustion pulled his body lower in the seat. His gaze was drawn back up to Louis again as they stopped at a traffic light. The older boy stared at his own knees like they held all the answers of the universe, but Harry picked out how the corners of his mouth were turned down and how hollowed his eyes seemed. It made Harry’s chest ache to see him so empty and he wanted to know what the older boy was thinking to make him look that way, but he was so tired.
Harry decided he’d talk to Louis tomorrow and find out then, and he let his eyes close and his mind drift away to sleep.
1D
The first thing Harry saw when he awoke was a bell-shaped lamp edged with gold.
The door opened and he heard Louis laugh. ‘What are doing? Did you fall asleep half-dressed?’
Harry blinked and sat up from where he’d been awkwardly slouched against the head of the king-sized bed. He glanced down at himself to see tight black jeans and one sleeve of a dark button-up on, the shirt hanging open over his tattooed chest.
His heart pounded. Was this-?
‘Come on, they’ll be waiting on you soon. The show’s in three hours,’ Louis said.
Harry looked up at him, taking in his upward styled hair and older face. ‘What?’
Louis rolled his eyes fondly. ‘The midday show, Harold, get with the picture. Whatever, I’m gonna head off with the others then, since you’re not ready.’
‘We’re back? Oh my God, we’re back, aren’t we?’ Harry stood up, giddiness shooting through him.
Louis’ brows drew together and he laughed. ‘I don’t know what goes on in your head sometimes, Hazza.’
‘God, I can’t believe we’re back. Look at this! Look at you, you look so old!’
Louis’ jaw dropped. ‘Excuse you. Just for that, I’m leaving right now, how very dare you.’
Harry let his shirt fall to the carpet and he leapt forward, grabbing Louis’ shoulders and spinning both of them around with a wide grin. ‘Come here, you. Don’t be silly.’
‘No. I’m so offended, I think I might leave the band.’
Harry laughed. ‘Do you-is everything the same? Have you talked to the others yet? God, Louis I’m so freaking-’ he leant forward to kiss him.
Louis turned his cheek at the last second and pushed at Harry’s chest, forcing him back a step. ‘Hey, hey! What are you doing?’
Harry touched his chest where he’d been pushed, feeling off-balance as Louis frowned at him. ‘Uh…’
‘What are you even going on about, Styles? You haven’t made sense once since I came back in here.’
‘You.’ Harry licked his lips. ‘But. Aren’t you, like, happy that we’re back?’
‘Back where?’ Louis sighed frustrated. ‘Back in America, is that what you mean?’
‘No, back from…’ Cold tendrils of dread started to creep through Harry. ‘The X Factor.’
‘The what?’ Louis enunciated the word. ‘What does the X Factor have to do with anything? Look, mate, sort whatever this is out quick because we have to go. They’ll be up here in a minute to hurry you up for hair and make-up. Are you alright?’
‘Yeah, I’ll. Sure.’
‘Okay.’ Louis was still looking at him weirdly. ‘I think you’re coming down with a cold or something, you’re a bit pale. I’ll talk to Paul about getting some vitamins up for you.’
‘Yeah, that’d be-thanks.’
‘No worries. Make sure you stay hydrated today too.’
A loud knock came from the main area of the large hotel room.
‘Harry? Can I come in?’ Lou Teasdale called through the door.
‘What’d I tell yeh?’ Louis gave him a brief closed-mouthed smile and patted him on the shoulder, before turning on his heel and going to open the door. ‘Come in, come in. He fell asleep again, the idiot.’
‘Thank you, darling. Hey, don’t go messing up your hair, mind. I don’t want to have to fix it up again right before you go onstage.’
‘You have my word, I’ll be good. Cross my heart.’ Louis crossed his chest and held up his hand in honour as he backed out the door, but ruined the effect with a broad cheeky smile right before he disappeared out of view.
‘Oh, that boy,’ Lou sighed with a smile, setting her stylist case on the floor by the kitchenette table. ‘Right you. Get your kit on and sit your skinny arse down so I can get started.’
Harry looked at her dumbly until her smile began to fade a touch, but then he nodded jerkily and did as she asked. He pushed his arms through the sleeves of his shirt and fastened the buttons, pausing once he’d finished the task.
‘Come on, slow-poke. You’ve got thousands of fans lining up for today, all counting on seeing your perfectly coiffed hair. Don’t be all day about it.’
Harry tucked in his shirt and smoothed it down staring at the art on the wall thinking it was kind of funny how the world was back at his finger-tips, and he’d never felt more like he’d lost everything.
Part 17